A Little Help from Above (27 page)

“But if you stay in a bad marriage, it only makes you a martyr.”

“Please don’t judge me, Shelby. You have no idea what I have to endure every day just to get by. And believe me, my daughter doesn’t think of me as a martyr. To her I’m a hero. I would never do anything to sacrifice her happiness or well-being.”

“I can understand that. But what about Gwen?”

“Are you asking why I stay in a marriage that’s not perfect?”

“I guess.”

“Do you know any couple that doesn’t have issues? And it’s not like I haven’t thought about walking out the door. But I’m not a quitter, Shelby. I mean if I learned anything from my childhood, it’s that you have to tough things out. That’s why I work hard every day. I try to stay focused on all the positives in my life…Maybe you think I’m being a fool. I think I’m doing right by my family, just like my mother did when her life was so difficult. It’s called survival.”

“Okay. I hear you.” Shelby took a deep breath and reached under the table for her pocketbook. “But I have to be honest, too. I’m dying a thousand deaths here, and I can’t pretend to be some old friend from the neighborhood who thought it would be fun to have a drink and reminisce.”

“Shelby, please don’t leave angry.” Matty reached for her hand.

“I’m not angry. I’m grieving. And frankly, I’m sorry this ever happened today.”

“Now you’re breaking my heart. I’m not sorry at all. In fact I feel really lucky that we found each other again. There’s no reason we can’t be friends.”

FRIENDS? Shelby couldn’t listen to another word, and ran back into the museum to take the nearest elevator down. A torrent of tears unleashed the minute the doors closed. All he wanted was to be friends? No way. He had to have the same intense feelings for her as she did for him because that kiss could have melted a nun.

Sorry, Matty. Friends is not an option for us. You’ll have to do better than that.

Never before had Shelby felt a need to pour her heart out to someone. Anyone. Pity the relationship cupboard was bare. Maria was off, Lauren was busy testing her single’s wings, and she dared not call the hospital. If her father and Aunt Roz knew she was home with nothing to do, they’d insist on her joining them for a game of bridge with the Markowitzes.

Instead, Shelby crawled into bed, continued her crying jag, and tried to fall sleep without the aid of a Sominex. Now that she was pregnant, every decent drug was verboten. Good Lord. Was there any aspect of her life that hadn’t undergone a drastic change or been mired by chaos?

And yet, even she had to admit that she didn’t regret the events that had unfolded since the accident. If she hadn’t flown home that day, she never would have run into Ian, never gone to work for him, and certainly never gotten the assignment that ultimately delivered her to Matty’s door.

Wasn’t this what Warner had been telling her all along? Not only did everything happen for a reason, there was always a preordained timetable. Timing was everything, indeed. But did that mean she believed in this whole void-of-course moon business?

Shelby flicked on the light to look for the file Warner had left for her at the office. With everything else that had gone on today, she’d forgotten to read his report. Now nothing was more important than finding out if Matthew and Gwen exchanged vows on a marital doomsday. Ha! They might have thought theirs was a match made in heaven, but only if Venus wasn’t retrograde.

Shelby sank into the recliner and began to read Warner’s notes. Talk about nearly falling off your rocker. Her initial hunch had been right. May 25, the day that the McCreighs and all those other unsuspecting couples got married, was astrologically doomed. The moon was void-of-course, making it the worst possible time to commit, buy, or start any venture. Then Saturn was squaring Venus, which meant the house of partnerships was in turmoil. Plus, 1988 was a two year for the universe, which always signified a big surge in the divorce rate.

Shelby laughed. How little of this she really understood. Sex-tiles, conjunctions, squares, trines, contraparallels. Warner’s world sounded more like a geometry class than an explanation of the cosmos. But after reviewing his notes, there was one thing she was sure of. No matter how vehemently Matty insisted his marriage would succeed, there were much greater forces at work.

Did this mean she was starting to believe in astrology? Yes, and furthermore, when she was feeling depressed, the best therapy for her was to write. What an idea! She would turn Ian’s ridiculous wedding piece into an edgy story for singles on how to pick the best day to say “I do.”

“I do.” The two saddest words in the world for Shelby, not counting “if only.”

Well I’ll be. I think that ringing I hear is the sound of Shelby’s wakeup call. I just hope she doesn’t confuse it with the one at the Ritz where she rolls over, then goes back to sleep.

Warner loved the idea of Shelby turning the story into an Astrology 101 crash course on how to choose the right wedding date. He was tickled by the fact she asked him to share a byline and help her rewrite the piece. He was not thrilled, however, to discuss this matter at eight o’clock on a Sunday morning.

“Good God, Shelby.” He yawned. “Have you any idea what time it is?”

“Yes, but you said you were an early bird. That you start your day at five.”

“On workdays, darling. On weekends little Warner parties his tushy off till five, then goes nighty-night with the lucky winner.”

“Oops. Sorry.” She cringed at the idea of a naked Warner in the
arms of a willowy young boy from Iowa. “How about I call you back later?”

“How about we discuss this at the office tomorrow?”

“You’re the expert on timing,” she replied. “Warner?”

“Yes?”

“You were right, you know,” Shelby blurted.

“About what?”

“Basically everything.”

“You give me too much credit, dear. I don’t write the script, I’m just the first to read it.”

It was one thing for Warner to blow her off. It was quite another for her own father to do it. “Daddy, why aren’t you answering me? Didn’t you hear a word I said?” Shelby nudged his arm.

“Maybe you should come back.” He turned over and winced. “Today’s not a good day.”

“How can you tell?” Shelby checked her watch. “It’s not even nine o’clock.”

“Believe me it doesn’t matter.
A.M
.,
P.M
. Yesterday, today, tomorrow. It’s all the same to me. So excuse me if I’m not paying attention to your sad tale. At least when you’re finished moaning and groaning, you can get up and walk out of this place.”

Shelby nodded. The doctors had warned her about accident victims who survived the accident, but not the depression that followed. They warned her to expect difficult, moody periods, when loved ones would insist they couldn’t go on another day. And she had well expected that sort of thing from Aunt Roz, the kvetch.

But never from her indomitable, high-spirited father. A man who never saw a tee time he didn’t like. A man who wasn’t happy unless he was entertaining a houseful of people. Before the accident, anyway. Now, life as he knew it was over, and his recovery slow and painful. Could she honestly blame him for wallowing in self-pity and not wanting to listen to her carry on about all the injustices in her life?

“Sorry, Daddy. I’m sure my problems seem trivial compared to yours.”

“You got that right.”

“But what am I going to do about the babies?”

“What’s to do? Avi’s leaving changes nothing. Lauren will have to do this on her own.”

“Oh, please. She can’t even buy bagels on her own. First she has to ask everyone in the store their opinion.” Shelby mimicked, “‘Which do you think looks better? The pumpernickel rye or cinnamon raisin?’ She’s like a fifteen-year-old in a thirty-year-old’s body! No way is she ready to be a single mom.”

“Fine. You’re such a big shot. You keep them.”

“Oh, no, no, no. My gig is up at the end of nine months…”

“Enough already with the foolishness, Shelby! What do you want me to say? Go have an abortion now that Avi’s gone? To hell with him! Life is precious, and you don’t go spitting in God’s eye, especially after what your mother and I have been through! You should be grateful you’ve been given a chance to create life and add to our beautiful family.”

Shelby sat quietly, contemplating her father’s compelling words when in walked the culprit.

“Hey, Shel. What are you doing here so early?”

“I needed to talk to Daddy about a few things.”

“Me too.” Lauren nodded.

“Oy gutenu.” Daddy grimaced when he tried turning the other way. “Another country that thinks their world is ending. Why don’t you girls go bother your mother?”

“What’s with him?” Lauren asked.

“He’s having a bad day. Did you hear from Avi?”

“Yes.”

“And?” Shelby motioned with her hands. “What did he say?”

“He said he’s really sorry about everything, that it didn’t work out the way he expected, and he wishes me the best of luck, and could I please send him the sheet music he left in the closet?”

“That little shit. When’s the bonfire?”

“Shel-bee,” Lauren whined. “I’m not going to burn his music. He didn’t mean to hurt me.”

“No, of course not. It’s obvious you’re his first concern.”

“Can we not talk about this now?” Lauren pointed at their father. “Things are bad enough.”

“Sure. No problem. I was just mildly curious how you plan to raise these babies by yourself. But we have plenty of time to discuss that. So! Where the hell were you last night?”

“I told you. I went to that dance at the temple.”

“Until three in the morning?”

Lauren blushed. “No, but I met someone, and we stayed up all night talking.”

“Oy! Here we go again,” her father muttered into his pillow. “God give me the strength.”

“How late did you try calling?” Lauren ignored him.

“Until I finally conked out. I guess it was about three-thirty, four o’clock.”

Lauren looked sympathetic. “What kept you up?”

“Oh, the usual. I’m pregnant with my sister’s twins, but her husband abandoned her, but that’s okay because she’s already on to the next guy, Lord knows what a psycho this one is. Also, I finally found Matty Lieberman, on the Hutch Parkway of all places, then had the privilege to meet his lovely bride of Frankenstein, who happens to be Lieutenant Governor Armonk’s daughter…”

“What?” Lauren cried out. “Oh, God! Tell me everything.”

“You have to call him,” Lauren pleaded after hearing the whole, bloody story.

“Why? What’s the point? Did you call Avi and beg him to come back?”

“No.” She bit her lip. “But your situation is completely different.”

“How?”

“Because Matty really loves you, Shel. I’m sure of it.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, but you said the way he kissed you…”

“Oh, please. It was just a male ego thing. You know how they like to try to get you hot before they dump you.”

“Girls, please,” their father yelled. “I’m trying to get some rest.”

“You don’t believe that for a minute.” Lauren continued to ignore him.

“I don’t know what I believe. All I know is, right now I feel like I’m dying.”

“Join the crowd!” he cried out.

“Hey. I’ve got an idea!” Lauren clapped. “Call him to ask about the car. That’s a legitimate reason. You just want to know when the guy is bringing it back.”

“Good thinking. That’s not at all transparent. Hi. Remember me? You broke my heart yesterday? But forget about that. I just wanted to know if you heard from the Lexus dealer.”

“So, come up with a different reason. It doesn’t matter what. Just as long as you get to talk to him and tell him how you feel.”

“He knows how I feel. That’s what he’s so afraid of.”

“Maybe he just needs time, Shel. The poor guy was in shock.”

“Hey, I was in shock, too, but that didn’t cloud my feelings. He’s the one I want!”

“I know what you mean.” Lauren sighed. “I’ve been there.”

“Several times,” their father interrupted.

“Daddy, stop!” Lauren cried. “I’m trying to help Shelby with her problems.”

“How about helping me with mine by getting the hell out of here. Go visit your mother.”

“In a sec,” Lauren replied. “So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. My head is spinning, I’m depressed, I feel sick to my stomach…”

“Maybe this is good, Shel. I mean accepting the fact you finally found him, but he’s not available. Now you can move on. Meet someone better. Like I just did.”

“There is no one better,” Shelby cried. “And shouldn’t you at least wait until the body is cold before you get involved again?”

“I didn’t plan it, Shel. It just happened.”

“Why do people always say that? It sounds so stupid.”

“But it’s true. See, I was hanging around with Andrea and her friends, when I noticed this very cute guy staring at me. So I sort of waved, and he smiled, then I smiled…”

“I get the picture.”

“Okay, so anyway, we got to talking, and it turns out we knew each other from high school. Do you remember Mark Siegel?”

“Sure. Pencil Pocket Boy. We were on the debate team together. That’s who you met?”

“No, his younger brother, Danny. We were in the same home room in tenth grade, which I didn’t remember, but then he confessed that’s when he had this major crush on me.”

“How romantic. What did that get him to? First base? Second base? A home run?”

“Shel-bee, stop. He’s a very nice guy. He didn’t lay a hand on me.”

“GET OUT RIGHT NOW, BOTH OF YOU! AND DON’T COME BACK UNTIL YOU’RE BOTH MARRIED FOR AT LEAST TEN YEARS!”

Shelby and Lauren ran out the door. Even in his immobile state, he could still scare them.

“Man, is he ever grouchy!” Lauren closed his door.

“I know.” Shelby shrugged. “I wonder if they gave him a new medication or something. So what’s the story with this guy? Is he single, divorced…”

“Neither. He’s a widower.”

“Really? Isn’t he sort of young for that?”

“Even younger than Daddy was when Mommy died.”

“You know you’re right?” Shelby nodded. “Here I’m thinking it’s so rare…Was it cancer?”

Lauren shook her head. “Anorexia. She starved herself to death.”

“Well, now there’s something he wouldn’t have to worry about with you.”

“Shel-bee!”

“I’m sorry. I’m really, truly sorry. It just slipped out.”

“I don’t care. How could you say something so mean? I have feelings, you know. And this poor man was left with a two-year-old son, thousands of dollars in medical bills…”

“You’re right. That was an awful thing to say. He’s obviously suffered, and my heart goes out to him. So, you two really hit it off?”

“Yes. After the dance, we spent the whole night talking at his house.”

“So that’s where you were? I kept calling you to tell you what happened to me.”

“I couldn’t believe it when I looked at the clock, and it was five in the morning.”

“So how much did you tell him about yourself?”

“The whole story. Starting from Allen, then Avi, the DES stuff, you, the babies…”

“You told him your husband left you and you’re having twins, and he still didn’t bolt?”

“He’s a really great guy, Shel. He said he understood better than anyone how your life could fall apart in a heartbeat, and he really admired me because I wasn’t sitting home dwelling on the negative.”

“Okay, so either he’s had loads of therapy, or he’s in the business.”

“Both, actually. He’s a child psychologist.”

“A noble profession, and there’s always lollipops around. So now what?”

“I don’t know. I guess we’ll take it nice and slow. He’s very protective of who he introduces to Jordan, and I’ve got a long legal road ahead of me. But I really like him, Shel. And as crazy as it sounds, I think we could really be good together.”

“You know a man a total of twelve hours, decide you’ve got a great future, and this is taking it nice and slow?”

“Let’s just say I’m taking it about as slow as you would if Matty called tonight, and said, ‘Let’s run away and get married.’”