A Little Help from Above (29 page)

“Will you be needing anything else?” Maria asked. “I want to get my dusting finished.”

“We’re fine, thank you.” Shelby could not take her eyes off Matty.

“Yes, I see that.” Maria winked. “I’m thinkin’ maybe I should switch car dealers,” she mumbled. “I never got service like that before.”

“So.” Shelby sipped her coffee. “You said you came here to talk.”

“I did. But then I was rudely interrupted.”

“That’s awful.” She rubbed his foot under the table. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Hell if I can remember.” He scratched his head.

“Maybe I can refresh your memory. Were you, by any chance, coming to tell me you’d realized you’ve been with the wrong woman all these years, and now you’d like to make a midcourse correction?”

“I wasn’t going to put it quite like that.” He laughed. “Although it is true that Gwen and I are having problems and…to be honest, she’s asked me for a divorce.”

“Yes!” Shelby clapped.

“Shelby! Stop!” He laughed. “You’re not supposed to be happy when a friend tells you his marriage is over.”

“I am when it’s your marriage!”

“Call me psychic, but it seems you’re in an awfully big hurry for us to be together.”

“A hurry? You call waiting your whole life being in a hurry?”

“Well, hold on. Don’t jump the gun,” Matty smiled. “You don’t know my whole story.”

“Au contraire, my friend. I’m a reporter, remember?” Shelby leaned in. “This is what happens next. You’re married to the lieutenant governor’s daughter. Therefore, once the gossip columns get wind of a separation, they’ll camp out at your doorstep for a few weeks and expect you to provide the coffee. Then after the story has been chewed up and spit out by the media, the lawyers will step in and it will get as ugly as a Ron Perelman divorce, complete with kinky allegations, mudslinging, and outrageous demands.

“Then there will the hotly contested, emotionally gut-wrenching issue of who gets custody of Emily, who gets the sailboat, and who gets the house on Martha’s Vineyard…”

“Okay.” He looked sullen. “You do understand my problem. But, it’s not only the divorce that I wanted to talk to you about.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look, once word gets out that Gwen is talking to lawyers…I didn’t want you to read about it in the papers. I wanted to tell you personally.”

“I appreciate that…”

“And I don’t think it would be smart for me to get involved with anyone right away.”

“Oh I agree. But I’m not anyone. I’m the girl who loved you when you couldn’t tie your own sneakers, when you were afraid of the dark and needed me to hold your hand…”

Matty looked into Shelby’s eyes. “Believe me I would be kidding myself if I said I didn’t have strong feelings for you. I do. And what just happened here this morning? Frankly, I haven’t felt that loved in years. But I’m tired and confused and hurt. I just need some time.”

“How much time?” Shelby bit her lip. “A few days? A few months?”

Matty laughed. How could he have forgotten about Shelby’s incredible determination? “I don’t know. At the moment I just feel like running away. Maybe fly to Portland to visit Wendy and the kids, see some old high school buddies…”

“Could I come with you?” Shelby got down on her knees. “I promise I wouldn’t be in the way. I’d love to see Wendy and spend more time with your mom.”

Matty smiled, brushing the bangs from her face. “You want to spend time with my mom?”

Shelby’s head bobbed.

“Well, that would certainly take the pressure off me having to do it.”

“And you could take me to a Trailblazers game.”

“You like basketball?” His eyes lit up.

“No, I like you.” She kissed him tenderly. “And I would go anywhere to be with you.”

Matty sighed. He was trying so hard not to cave, but Shelby could wear down a Kamikaze pilot. “I’m warning you. I’m no great bargain. I have to have my own remote control,” he declared.

“So? I hate TV.”

“And I hate being nagged about what I eat.”

“Perfect. I hate being nagged about what I don’t eat.”

“I can be pretty grumpy in the mornings,” he tried again.

“I can be grumpy all day.”

“I hate parties.”

“No big deal,” she shrugged. “I hate people.”

“After all these years, you honestly believe that you and I could work?” Matty stared.

“It has to work.” Shelby laughed through tears. “It’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted.”

“It’s a miracle.” Irma Weiner clapped, referring to the wonderful news that Larry and Roz were about to be released from North Shore Hospital. “Just like the story of Chanukah.”

Indeed, the timing was serendipitous. In this first week of December, Jews were celebrating Chanukah, a triumphant holiday commemorating when the Israelites prevailed during the darkest days of the year and were illuminated with hope by oil lamps that burned brightly, wondrously, for eight nights.

How fitting at this joyous time of year that Larry and Roz were finally well enough to be moved to Transitions, a nearby state-of-the-art rehabilitation center. There they would slowly rebuild muscle and mind, and try to prepare for reentering life, not as they knew it before the accident, but as they would know it now. A true miracle of miracles.

Eric’s completed rehabilitation was another victory, as was his agreeing to reunite with his family after a yearlong journey through substance-abuse hell. In a few hours Lauren would be picking him up at JFK and bringing him back to North Shore, just in time for the little bon voyage party the fifth-floor nursing staff was throwing for the two patients who had captured their hearts and their prayers after being brought in through death’s door.

Shelby was practically walking on air as she helped Aunt Roz pack up her hospital room. There were so many things to be grateful for, and so much to look forward to. In a few days, she would be flying to Portland to spend a week getting reacquainted with Matty and his family.

“It is like the miracle of Chanukah,” Shelby hugged Irma. “Who knew the best gifts weren’t from Toys” R” Us?”

“I wish she’d said that when she was younger,” Roz said to Irma. “There wasn’t a toy this child didn’t ask for.”

“And didn’t end up getting.” Shelby laughed. “I guess I was a little spoiled.”

“A little spoiled?” Roz exclaimed. “My sister, may she rest in peace, spent a small fortune on the girls at Chanukah time. Between the clothes and the games and the books, the only miracle was there was any money left in the bank.”

“Oh, puh-leeze. Daddy was loaded, and we knew it.”

“Yes, well, riches come in many forms.” Irma kissed them both good-bye. “And lucky for your family, you’ve been blessed with the most important kind. I’ll be back in time for the party, but my dears, I have some Chanukah shopping to do myself. What do you get the man who has everything?” she wondered aloud.

“This sounds serious, Irma.” Shelby nudged her arm. “What’s the story with this guy?”

“Norman is a dear, sweet man,” Irma blushed. “And, frankly, I’m having a ball.”

“Good for you!” Roz nodded. “You deserve all the happiness in the world.”

“Thank you.” She waved. “See you later.”

“It’s about time she was lucky in love.” Roz threw out get well cards while Shelby tossed her aunt’s slippers and toiletries into a suitcase.

“Yes,” Shelby agreed, wondering if Roz felt the same way about her.

“And the same goes for you, honey.”

“Thank you,” she replied. “Do you think…I was wondering…Never mind.”

“What is it?” Roz looked over with a smile.

“Forget it. It was nothing.”

“No, go on. You were going to ask me something. Please?”

Shelby hesitated. How she hated revealing her vulnerable side, and yet she was having nagging doubts about Matty. Who better to talk to than someone who knew and loved her since she was born? Someone who was the closest person she had to a mother? “I was just wondering,” she began, “do you think I’m doing the right thing? Going to Portland?”

“Absolutely.” Roz beamed. “I’ve always said when it comes to love, follow your heart no matter the odds.”

“I know. But the thing is, Matty didn’t ask me to go. I sort of invited myself, and now I’m wondering if that was a mistake.”

“I think it’s a wonderful idea, dear. You’ll go, you’ll have a good time reminiscing…”

“Yes, but he keeps saying how he needs some time alone.”

“Honey, he’s a big boy now. If he didn’t want you to come, he would have said so.”

“I don’t know. He was never very good at saying no to me. And now I’m thinking maybe I should have butted out and let him go alone like he’d planned. Then he’d have time to…”

“Think about you?”

“I guess.” Shelby looked away. “And the other thing is, I’m afraid one day he might come back to me and say that I was unfair to him.”

“Because you didn’t give him a chance to get over things first.”

“Exactly. How did you know that?”

“Because I know what you’re going through. You’re telling me my life’s story.”

“I am?”

“Of course, dear. You don’t think I was scared to death that your father would leave me? Everything with us happened so quickly. Your mother got sick, I got pregnant, she died, we got married, had Eric…I used to wake up in the middle of the night just to make sure Daddy was still lying there next to me. I was so sure he’d change his mind and accuse me of rushing him into the marriage, of never giving him a chance to recover from Sandy’s death.”

“Oh wow.” Shelby’s eyes welled up. “It is sort of the same story.”

“That’s what I’m saying. I know how it feels to fear regret. And to love someone so deeply you don’t think you’ll be able to breathe unless they love you back.”

“I had no idea you felt that way…At least your story has a happy ending.”

“Yes, it does. Although take my word. There were plenty of times I had my doubts.”

“Why?”

“You of all people should know why. You made Daddy and me
miserable. You’d run around the house screaming how much you hated me, and that I messed up your life, and what right did I have trying to pretend I was your mother…. And I’d say to myself, maybe she’s right. Maybe I made a mistake thinking I could take over where my sister left off. Maybe they would have been better off without me…You could really hit below the belt, my dear.”

“I was only ten.”

“Shelby, you were never ten.”

She nodded, understanding for the first time the pain Aunt Roz must have endured, waiting all those years in the wings, then finally getting to be in a warm, committed relationship with the man she loved, only to be treated like the enemy by his daughter.

“But that’s all in the past.” Aunt Roz lifted Shelby’s chin. “Like you said. The story has a happy ending.”

“I am so sorry.” Shelby started to cry. “Truly sorry.”

“It’s okay, dear.” Aunt Roz hugged her. “Somehow we survived. It’s like that nice song I used to sing from…what was the name of that show?”

“See Saw?”

“Yeah, See Saw. Remember? ‘It’s not where you start, it’s where you finish.’”

“‘It’s not how you go, it’s how you land,’” Shelby sang. “I don’t remember the rest.”

“Me, either. I’m just saying what’s important is we’re together again, we’re here for each other, we can be in the same room and not start a world war…”

“It is great.” Shelby sniffed.

“And another thing. Your mother would be so proud of you right now. The way you overcame all your mishegas to help Lauren. The way you’ve been such a big help to us. Visiting every day, making sure the doctors and nurses did everything they could for us…she would be kvelling from ear to ear.”

“I know.”

“She loved you girls so much. You were her whole life.”

“Did she…” Shelby started. There was something she was desperate to ask, even if she didn’t hear the answer she wanted. “Did she love Daddy, too?”

Aunt Roz sighed. “To be honest? Not right away. But she learned to love him. Just like he learned to love me.”

Shelby took Aunt Roz’s hands. “I think he made a wonderful choice when he married you.”

Aunt Roz’s newly healed jaw dropped. “Thank you, dear. I never thought I’d live to hear you say that.”

“Well thank God you did,” Shelby kissed her stepmother on the cheek. “Thank God.”

Having Eric home was not at all what Shelby expected. The boy who used to burp and fart in her friends’ faces, the boy she used to call Porky Pig, was now a frail, quiet man of twenty-eight who looked as if he’d just returned from battle. Which he had. For the toll from his years as a cocaine addict was markedly clear. He was a shell of his former self.

Shelby even found it difficult to converse with him, as his attention span was limited and his interest in small talk only marginal. Nor did he seem to comprehend the enormity of what had happened to his parents, evidenced by the fact he continually commented on how nice they looked. The equivalent of mentioning to a Vietnam vet it looked like he lost a lot of weight, thinking he’d appreciate the compliment.

“Don’t worry,” Irma assured her. “He’ll come around. It just takes time.”

“But there’s so much I need to share with him,” Shelby argued. “About the accident, and the whole business with DES, and me being Lauren’s surrogate, and finding Matty…”

“Fine. You’ll tell him everything. Just not all at once.”

“And what do you suggest that I say about who his real father is? In case you were wondering, he was right under your nose the whole time?”

“That I would handle a little more delicately, dear. It’s possible he suspected it all along, but even so, it will be a big shock to his system. Maybe your father should be the one to handle it.”

“No way,” Shelby snapped. “My father had twenty-eight years to handle it, and didn’t.”

“Then I suggest you build up to it. Eric is very vulnerable now, and I’m not sure your style is well suited for breaking unexpected news.”

“That is so not true,” Shelby argued. “That’s why newspapers pay me the big bucks!”

“Well then let’s just say this isn’t the time to be cold and blunt.”

“Are you suggesting I don’t know how to use discretion?”

“I wasn’t even aware you knew the word.”

Shelby wanted to clobber Lauren. Here she’d spent time ordering in a delicious dinner so the three siblings could sit around a kitchen table and get nostalgic. At the same time, she also wanted an opportunity to speak to Eric about his true birthright while he could seek comfort in the confines of his family.

Instead, Lauren, giddy with excitement, was monopolizing the whole conversation, going on and on about Danny, Danny’s son, Danny’s practice, Danny’s love of antique cars…

“And what does good old Danny boy think about you being a mother of twins?” Shelby decided to lay her cards out on the table, along with the pasta primavera.

“He thinks it’s great. He’s a child psychologist,” she explained to Eric. “He loves kids.”

“Yes, but have you discussed my pregnancy in terms of how it might affect your relationship?”

“Shel, c’mon. It’s not like we’re engaged or anything. We just started dating.”

“I know. But I also know how you get when you fall in love. You don’t see anything. You don’t hear anything…”

Eric pushed his food around on his plate.

“I’m not in love, okay? We’re just good friends. Which is fine because I’m not ready for another serious relationship now, and besides, he’s not sure he wants more children…”

“Excuse me?”

Lauren swallowed hard. “What I mean is, right now he’s very happy with his one child. But he did say maybe one day in the future he’d want a bigger family.”

“Eric, pay attention.” Shelby shook his arm. “Did you hear what your sister, the brain surgeon, just said? She’s not even legally separated from her husband yet, but she’s already dating a guy who said flat out, no thanks to more kids, oh and about those twins your sister is carrying for you, what’s her refund policy?”

“Shelby, stop! He said nothing like that. You’re making too big a deal out of this. I still want the babies if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Yes, but what if a few months from now you realize you’re hopelessly in love with him, and he refuses to commit to you because you’re the mother of two?”

“I think I can get him to change his mind,” Lauren whispered. “I still have a few months.”

Shelby gripped the table and repeated the most inane comment she’d ever heard. But before she could rip into Lauren about her moronic plans to convince Danny Siegel he should be the next Mr. Brady Bunch, Eric finally spoke.

“It’s been a long day for me and I’m kind of tired. I’m going to go upstairs now.”

“No wait.” Shelby added more pasta and salad to his plate. “Can’t you hold out for another few minutes? Lauren and I had something important to talk to you about.”

“I told you I don’t like white sauce.” He pushed her fork away. “You’re worse than Mom.”

“Sorry,” Shelby retreated. “It must be my maternal instincts kicking in. Eat, bubbeleh, eat.” But when Eric was not amused, Shelby tried to remember if he’d always been a picky eater, or if his appetite was just suppressed from his drug days. Trouble was, with the ten-year age difference, they’d spent little time together. Not to mention her resentment of his getting much of their father’s attention didn’t help matters.

“What did you want to talk about?” Eric stabbed a piece of lettuce.

“Um…how do you feel about being an uncle?” Shelby smiled.

“He’ll be great,” Lauren piped in. “As long as he’s nothing like Uncle Marty.”

“Wasn’t he the worst?” Shelby said. “On Mommy’s birthday he’d wait to see if we invited him out to dinner so he’d get a free meal at a fancy restaurant. But not once did he buy her a card.”

“Did it ever occur to you he might not have had the money?” Eric sniffed.

“Oh, please. He always had plenty of money for booze and Belmont Raceway.”

“Why are you so judgmental?” Eric glared. “You don’t know what’s in people’s pockets, and you don’t know what it’s like to have an addictive personality.”

Lauren and Shelby looked at each other. Even during his most
stoned-out period, Eric had never been this sullen and cross. Obviously, he was still grappling with his demons and they’d have to tread lightly.

“I’m sorry, Eric,” Shelby apologized. “Perhaps I did misjudge him.”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake. Stop placating me, Shelby. And stop talking to me like I’m a mental case. I’m a big boy now. If you’ve got something to tell me, spit it out.”

“Fine!” Shelby was tired of walking on eggshells. “Brace yourself. It’s really big.”