A Liverpool Legacy (24 page)

‘Don’t you want to?’ She was suspicious.

‘Of course I do. But we can’t, not yet.’

‘Come on, love me now.’

‘What if I give you a baby?’

‘Then we’d have to get married straight away, wouldn’t we?’

He laughed. ‘If only we could.’

‘Why not?’

‘Quite apart from everything else, I can’t afford it yet. I’m an apprentice. I can’t get married until I’m earning enough to support a wife and family.’

‘Don’t be a stodgy. This is the brave new world, isn’t it? By September you’ll be twenty-one and time served. Mum likes you, she’ll not want you to leave. She’ll give you a permanent job.’

‘She can’t, Sylvie,’ he said gently. ‘She knows I’ll have to do my National Service. I’ll be called up for that as soon as I’m out of my apprenticeship.’

Sylvie’s mood plummeted, she’d forgotten about that. Everybody knew men had to do two years’ National Service, either when they reached the age of eighteen or when they’d completed an apprenticeship or college course. Denis had spoken of it more than once and so had Mum, but her dreams of the future had been more real than life itself.

‘That’s why I asked if you’d wait. It’ll be at least two and a half years. I can’t marry you until I’ve done that. You will wait for me, won’t you?’

Of course she would. ‘Two and a half years will seem forever.’

‘It will, but the war is over, so it’s not as though I’m likely to be killed.’

‘Come on, we can’t wait all that time to find out about things like this.’ She pulled him down again to kiss him.

She felt him pull away from her. ‘Sylvie, I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t go away and leave you on your own having a baby. I couldn’t live with myself if I put you in that position.’

‘Mum would look after me if that happened. She’s already told me she would.’

Sylvie felt him straighten up with determination. ‘You can’t take risks like that and rely on other people to bail you out when you find you’ve got a problem. You have to learn to stand on your own feet.’

‘It’s only if the worst happened, and I know Mum would want to take care of me. I’d stay with her until you came home. For me there wouldn’t be a problem. I don’t need to wait until I’m twenty-one to do the things I want.’

‘You do, Sylvie,’ he said quietly. ‘You’ve had a wonderful upbringing. Your family has given you all the love and care in the world, as well as everything else money could buy. They’ve also met every one of your passing whims, so you’ve received everything you thought you wanted. You’ve been too well protected, too well cared for. Adult life in the real world isn’t like that. You have to face up to what it throws at you.’

Suddenly Sylvie felt like a spoilt child. Denis seemed much older and wiser than she was.

‘Your dad spoilt you, even if he wasn’t your real dad. Your mother spoils you too.’ He stood up. ‘If you were my wife, I might not be able to ease your difficulties in the same way. I’ve been trying not to say grow up because it sounds heartless, but I think you need another year or two to learn that you can’t always have everything handed to you on a plate.’

She was indignant. ‘I don’t think you love me after all.’

‘Sylvie, of course I do.’ He pulled her to her feet. ‘I love you, but I don’t think you’re ready for marriage yet. If you had a baby you’d have to take care of it and sometimes put the child’s interests above your own.’

‘I would,’ she protested, ‘of course I would.’

‘No, Sylvie, I’m not sure you’d be able to. You always put your own needs first. It’s always what your mother can do for you, not what you can do for her.’ Denis went on, ‘An adult knows other people have feelings too, which leads me to say that your mother would not approve of you bringing me here like this. Anyway, it’s high time you went in. I expect she’s already worried that you’re later than usual.’

He felt on the floor for his coat and put it on. Sylvie felt she’d been found wanting. ‘So I’m not ready for marriage yet? That’s it then?’

‘Where are you?’ She knew he was feeling for her. His arms went round her and his lips found hers again. ‘Please don’t be upset. Whatever we feel we want, we’ll have to wait another two and a half more years before we can have it, there’s no way round that.’

Chapter Twenty-Five

Simon had done well in his exams and Millie was delighted when she received a large envelope from the headmaster of Liverpool College where she had applied for a place for him. She was informed that Simon could start in September.

Millie was given an appointment to take him to meet the headmaster and be shown round the school. Enclosed also were forms for her to fill in, and a uniform list.

‘Mum,’ Simon said, ‘I don’t want to be a boarder. Liverpool College is nearer than Heathfield, near enough for me to get there and back on the bus every day.’

‘All your family have been boarders at that school,’ she said. ‘Your father was happy there and he wanted the same for you and Kenny.’

‘Mum, everything has changed since the war. Dad can’t be here with us now, but I know he’d let me live at home if I told him that was what I wanted.’

Millie had to laugh. ‘Are you trying to get round me?’

‘Say I can. I know they let boys do that these days.’ He was looking at her with imploring eyes but really there was nothing Millie wanted more than to keep her children close.

‘We’ll have to see,’ she said.

‘What about me?’ Kenny wailed. ‘I don’t want to be the only one boarding.’

‘You’ll be the only one at Heathfield anyway,’ Simon retorted.

When Millie sat down to read the brochure for his new school she found they had opened a junior school in recent years, and she thought perhaps Kenny might prefer to go there as a day boy to sit the exam for the senior school. When she suggested it to him he was over the moon, so she telephoned the school secretary to find out if they had a place available for him. They had, so she wrote to the headmaster at Heathfield to tell him. It would be better for Kenny to stay close to his brother.

When she kept the appointment the headmaster had given her, she took both her boys with her, and spent most of the afternoon looking round both the junior and senior schools. Millie was delighted that she’d have her boys at home with her in future.

The summer holidays came and Millie took her children to Hafod for two weeks. Sylvie asked if Denis might come with them as he would be twenty-one at the end of September and could expect his call-up papers shortly after that. It took a lot of forward planning in the lab but he came and fitted in well with the family. The weather was warm and sunny so they could picnic on the beach and swim, and they had a lovely trip up Snowdon. They didn’t go anywhere near the boat, nobody mentioned it, or suggested a fishing trip in one of the several boats advertising holiday trips.

For Millie, time seemed to fly past, and she thought things were getting easier too. At work, she was relying more and more on Andrew, he readily offered the sort of help that Nigel and Marcus should have provided. She sought his company too, but sometimes it gave them both uncomfortable moments.

Occasionally he asked her out for a drink or a meal which she enjoyed, but she felt somewhat embarrassed that he always insisted on paying. Ordinarily, she’d have repaid him by inviting him to meals at her house but he was now Sylvie’s boss and when she tried that, neither seemed at ease.

Andrew went striding to the lab one morning, pulled out the chair Millie kept for visitors and sat down. ‘Will you come out and have dinner with me on Wednesday?’ he asked. ‘I have in mind the Adelphi Hotel.’

‘Thank you, yes, I’d love to. The Adelphi sounds very extravagant. Is it a special occasion?’

‘It’s my birthday, I’ll be thirty-eight. I’ll book a table. Seven o’clock all right for you?’

Millie was smiling at him. She was a very attractive woman and very good company, and she certainly had plenty of guts. He couldn’t help but admire how she’d stood up to Marcus and Nigel. She’d stood up for the staff too and fought their battles. It seemed she’d settled them down. Marcus was keeping a lower profile now and there had been peace in the office for the last few months. At the same time she was virtually running the business and it was making an increasing profit.

Andrew knew he loved Millie but felt she was wary of him. She wasn’t encouraging him to show her any affection, and he didn’t know whether she wasn’t interested in men generally or whether it was just him. He’d told himself a dozen times that he must give her time, that she would still be grieving for Pete. But there was this additional problem that she was his boss. He’d seen her home and knew she had a higher standard of living than he could ever offer on his salary. It didn’t make for an easy relationship.

On Wednesday evening, he picked her up in his car and was touched when she gave him a birthday card and a silk tie. ‘You’ve even spared me some of your own clothing coupons,’ he said.

‘Just one, and there are strong rumours that clothes will be off ration soon.’

‘I like it very much,’ he said, ‘exactly my sort of tie.’ He undid the tie he was wearing and bundled it into the glove box, then put on the one she’d given him. ‘How does it look?’

‘Fine,’ she told him.

When the soup came, Millie started to talk about Marcus. ‘He bothers me. He’s never in his office, and he doesn’t appear to be doing much work. What does he do all day?’

‘We’ve all noticed that he goes out a good deal and that he’s very tense, nervous and sort of fidgety.’

‘Nigel says his wife has left him, so I suppose he’s upset, but I feel in my guts that’s there’s more to it. He’s up to something.’

Andrew didn’t want to talk about Marcus. He wanted to talk about Millie, he wanted to know more about her, she intrigued him.

There was casserole to follow. It was beautifully served and there was nothing the matter with it but his mother produced several casseroles each week. Nobody was going hungry but very little variety was available on the current rations. Millie told him the casserole was good but he longed for something different, pheasant or lobster would be marvellous.

He drove her home afterwards. When he pulled up outside her gate he got out of the car to go round and open the door for her but as usual she beat him to it. ‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘I’ve really enjoyed your birthday outing. Would you like to come in for a nightcap?’

‘Better not,’ he said. ‘It’s getting late and it’s a working day tomorrow.’ He couldn’t hold back the urge any longer. He took her into his arms and kissed her full on the mouth.

When he felt her struggle to pull away from him his toes curled with embarrassment. And, even worse, it made him feel rejected all over again. He should have had more sense than to do that.

Millie caught at his hand and said softly, ‘I’m sorry, Andrew. I’m very grateful for all you do for me. You’re a marvellous friend but I can’t forget . . . Well, you know how it is.’

He did and it made him feel depressed.

Sylvie had had time to think about what Denis had said. He may not have said ‘grow up’ in so many words but that was what he’d meant, and she had to admit there might be some truth in it. He’d been right when he’d said she’d had a happy childhood, and perhaps Valerie and Helen had indulged her too, but that boat trip and Dad’s accident had thrown a real whammy at her and changed her world. She hadn’t stood up to that very well. She’d wailed and cried and felt sorry for herself. She’d seen problems everywhere and made others for herself and her mother. Her family had tried to comfort and help her. She’d taken all their support for granted.

She missed Dad terribly but Mum must miss him even more and Marcus was giving her problems at work as well, but Mum was making the best of what she still had and trying to help her too. Sylvie told herself she was no longer a child and must learn to take setbacks on the chin.

She knew that life with Denis would bring a whole new world to her feet. She loved him, and if she had to wait for two years while he did his National Service then she’d have to grin and bear it. She’d been searching for some time for a gift for Denis to mark his twenty-first birthday.

One evening she said to her mother, ‘There’s hardly anything in the shops to choose from. I saw a pair of second-hand cufflinks in a jeweller’s shop window that were quite nice, but by the time I thought about them and went back, they’d been sold.’

‘Sylvie, your father had several pairs of cufflinks, as well as other pieces of jewellery. Why don’t you give Denis something that belonged to him?’

‘Would that be all right? I mean, it wouldn’t really be from me, it would be handing on . . .’

‘Of course it would be all right. You were talking about second-hand stuff a minute ago, what could be better than to give him something of Dad’s? Why don’t you come upstairs and see what there is?’

Her mother led her up to her bedroom and opened the top drawer of the tallboy where Pete had kept things like that. When Sylvie saw the collection of gold cufflinks, tie pins and the signet ring, she was bowled over. ‘Denis would be thrilled with any one of these,’ she said. ‘Would you really let me give him something of Dad’s?’

‘Of course,’ Millie said. ‘What is it to be?’

‘Denis doesn’t use cufflinks that much, so the ring, I think. I remember Dad wearing that.’

‘Take it then, you can get it polished up and wrapped.’ Millie thought for a moment. ‘Should I give him a pair of cufflinks, d’you think? After all, we’ve always got on well.’

‘Why not?’ Sylvie giggled. ‘They’re doing no good lying here. I like this pair best.’ She picked them up and put them in her mother’s hand.

For Millie, it was a peaceful morning and she’d pottered about the lab with Denis doing what she enjoyed most. She’d managed to buy a tin of instant coffee and at eleven o’clock Denis made them each a cup and they sat down at her desk to drink it.

She noticed that he stirred and stirred. ‘Can I speak to you about something personal?’ he asked. ‘I’ve been meaning to for some time.’

‘Of course, Denis. What is it?’

‘I would like to ask your permission to marry Sylvie.’

Millie jerked her head up in surprise. Denis’s face was scarlet. ‘Well . . . Well, have you asked her?’

‘Yes, yes, some time ago, but we wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while.’

‘If it’s what she wants, then I’d be very happy about it.’

‘Oh good. Sylvie’s only eighteen, you see, so she’d need your permission.’

Millie took a deep breath. ‘When do you plan for this to take place?’

‘Not yet, not until I’ve done my National Service, but I’d like us to be officially engaged, and I thought I’d better ask first.’ His words were coming out in a rush now. ‘I’d like to get her a ring before I go away.’

Millie said slowly, ‘Sylvie’s said nothing to me but I could see you were pairing off. I’m sure you’ll be very good for her. I’m pleased, Denis, very pleased for you both.’

‘It’s my twenty-first birthday the week after next. I won’t be having a proper party because it’s so difficult to get extra food and drink, but my mother would like you and Sylvie to come round to tea on Sunday. It’ll be just a family meal to—’

‘I’d love to come and I’m sure Sylvie would too. Thank your mother. It’s very kind of her.’

Millie had always liked Denis, he was serious, hardworking and reliable, and she’d known and admired his grandfather. She felt Sylvie had made a wise choice. It was bothering Millie that he would soon be called up, and as he was doing more and more of the work, she knew she was going to miss him in the lab.

‘I need to find somebody to take your place when you go,’ she told him. ‘It won’t be easy because you can do almost everything here now, but a pair of hands to do the basics would be better than nobody. If we found somebody now, you could show them what to do over the next few weeks. I don’t suppose you know anybody who’d like the job?’

‘Are you thinking of starting another apprentice like me?’

Millie sighed. ‘I don’t know. We took you on a full five-year apprenticeship because you were keen and your grandfather had taught me.’ Denis had been their first real apprentice, Millie had been hired to wash and sterilise the equipment. It was only after she was married to Pete that a learning programme had been drawn up for her.

Denis crashed his cup down on the saucer. ‘I know I’m looking a long time ahead, but when I finish my National Service I’d like to come back and work here. You see, there aren’t many jobs like this around, and I don’t want to move too far away from here. My mother is dreading being left on her own while I do my army service.’

The government had laid down that ex-servicemen and women must be offered their old jobs back after they were demobbed, should they want them, and Millie fully approved.

‘We’d be delighted to have you back, Denis, though you’re now qualified to do my job and with a bit more experience you could.’

‘But you’re doing more and more admin work now,’ he told her. ‘Everybody comes to you rather than . . .’

‘It’s a long time ahead but we’re expanding quickly and I hope there’ll be enough work for both of us by then. I’m glad you’re thinking of a career here. We’ll all welcome you back.’

‘Thank you. Not another apprentice then?’

‘I don’t really have time to teach another school leaver from scratch. I think it would be easier for me to manage with basic help and bottle washing, so no, not another apprentice.’

‘Then can I talk to you about my mother? She hasn’t worked in a lab like this but now Grandpa has died and I’m leaving home, she needs something to fill her day and she’d love a real job. She could do the basics I’m sure, if I showed her what’s needed. She knows a good deal already because Grandpa never stopped talking about his work. She’s done secretarial work so she could help with the paperwork.’

Millie sat back in her chair and smiled. Why not? ‘How old is she?’

‘Fifty-three, too old for a normal apprenticeship.’

‘Yes, ask her to come in and have chat with me. We could give her a try, couldn’t we? What about next Monday? Would straight after lunch be a convenient time for her?’

‘Yes, that’s great. I could go home and bring her in.’

Sylvie had heard about it by the time they were going home that evening. ‘I like his mother,’ she said, ‘and I think you will. She’ll be more capable than an ordinary school leaver.’