A Love Like This (25 page)

“Coming!” Her voice was distant, coming from
down the hall and not the kitchen. I stood back; eyeing the tree to
make sure it wasn’t lopsided and did some slight adjusting. I
smiled to myself. This was the first time we had the entire holiday
together since college. In the past four years, I’d only been able
to help her decorate the tree one other time, but now it would be
always. The feeling went deeper than contentment or mere joy, it
was more deep-seated and solid; a sort of elated wonder that we
were finally together for good. Despite the feeling that our time
spent in the same room was never enough, we were together. I was
always dumbfounded by my thoughts. It never ceased to amaze me how
much I loved her, how I looked forward to seeing her and how every
picture of the future had her in it. Only one thing would make it
more perfect. My smile widened as I started organizing the strands
of lights. Maybe next Christmas, we’d have a baby.

I sat down with the two boxes of lights and
began to separate and untangle them one by one. Some bigger white
ones and others the little colored LED type. Julia liked hundreds
of colored lights on the tree, but it was my guess from looking at
the boxes of stuff from both of our mothers, there would be
significantly more ornaments. My fingers worked through the
intricate loops, the bulbs making them difficult to untangle
without breaking the blubs and frustration made me impatient, which
only made it worse. Screw this! There had to be a better way to
organize them before packing them away, and I would sure as hell
figure it out when we took them down.

Julia was taking her time doing whatever she
was doing. I huffed. “Hey! Are you leaving me all of the hard part?
These lights are a mess!”

She laughed lightly, her voice soft but
closer, just behind me as I huddled over the lights.

“Stop being a moody ass.” I couldn’t help
the smile tugging slightly on my lips. “It might help if you turned
on some more lights. We have all night.”

I was sitting on the carpet in front of the
fire, and besides a light over the kitchen sink, I’d turned them
all off. I was trying to be romantic, and she was telling me to
turn on the fucking lights, I mused. We’d rushed through dinner
because we had this to accomplish, and I found myself yearning for
firelight, low music, and the feel of her skin against mine.

I huffed again, my fingers still pulling at
the electric cords. “Well, maybe I didn’t plan on spending the
entire evening on the stupid tree,” I complained.

I glanced over my shoulder at her and
stopped dead in my tracks. Julia was gathering up the other end of
the lights and arranging the ones I’d already straightened into a
straight line, bending over to plug one end into the wall, but she
was doing it dressed in a sheer red baby doll and a white
fur-trimmed Santa hat. A small spattering of sequins glistened in
the firelight and the glow given off by the now lit strand of
lights.

She was so gorgeous. The shape of her body;
the soft swell of her hips and full breasts, the soft shadow of her
navel, all completely visible through the sheer fabric, made my
cock swell. I couldn’t tear my eyes away as she nonchalantly worked
with the lights, as if she were wearing jeans and a T-shirt or
sweats. Obviously, she planned on teasing me to death. I wanted to
grin so bad my face hurt with the effort of keeping it at bay.

“Just what in the hell do you think you’re
doing?” I tried to keep the amusement out of my voice as I stood
up. Her eyes ran over me, clearly checking out the bulge in my
pants. I tried to keep my expression hard when her eyes finally met
mine. They were dancing with amusement.

“Checking to make sure these lights work,”
she said with mock innocence. My fingers curled into fists and
released at my sides, aching to reach out and touch her, but damned
if I’d let her get away with it. Two could play at this game, as
long as I could keep from laughing.

“Well, you’re doing it all wrong.” I took
the lights from her hands, while trying hard to ignore how she’d
made her hair all wild and the intoxicating scent of her
perfume.

“I am not.” She bent to take them back,
letting her full breast brush against my bicep and her breath rush
across my neck.

“Are too.”

The next hour was spent with delicate
touches and provocative looks, but I gave as good as I got. When
the lights were finally wound around the tree and we were ready to
start decorating, I finally pulled her back against me, letting my
hands roam her body, cupping both breasts as my mouth feasted on
the cord of her neck. She shivered, breaking out in goose bumps.
She pushed her little ass into my hard groin and I groaned, my arms
tightening as she gave me more access to her neck and her hand
snaked up to wind in my hair.

“You’re gonna get it.” My tone was low and
guttural.

A soft, almost nonexistent laugh left her
mouth, but it was more like a desperate sigh. “Okay, give it to me.
Now.”

She turned in my arms and our mouths crashed
together, sucking and pulling, our tongues doing an intimate dance
inside each other’s mouth. I pulled her closer and up until she was
fully in my embrace. Julia wrapped her legs around my waist and her
hands clutched in my hair and at my shoulders, pulling me closer,
encouraging and begging for deeper kisses. For a minute, I gave in,
letting the want take over, but just when we were both panting, I
walked to the couch, untangled her from me and plopped her
unceremoniously down on the cushions.

“No.”

The confused look on her face told me what a
million words couldn’t. She never expected me to beat her at her
own game. Damn if I wasn’t in physical pain from wanting her so
much, but maybe a little anticipation was good for the soul.

“No?”

“We aren’t finished decorating the
tree.”

“You’re serious?”

“Pay back is hell.” My erection pressed
painfully against the denim and zipper on my jeans, and I adjusted
myself in her full view. She knew what she did to me, and I knew if
I let my fingers graze her panties, she’d be hot and damp. I wanted
to keep touching her so fucking bad, but that would make it
impossible not to throw her down and make love to her right there,
like I was dying to do. I wanted to make love to her slow, in the
glow of the freshly decorated tree, worshiping her with every
touch, not screwing frantically amid a bunch of ornament boxes.

She scowled at me.

“I love you in lingerie, and—” I spread my
hands out in front of me, while she still sat where I’d placed her,
frowning, “You know how much I want you. It’s obvious,” I indicated
the giant hard-on still raging in my pants, “but, I have plans for
later.”

“I just thought…”

I nodded. “You thought right. You’re
gorgeous and I’m dying to make love to you, but, trust me, baby.”
The back of my knuckles traced the line of her face, and her hand
came up to grasp my wrist. “Later, when we get the tree done. I
don’t want to rush.”

She read my mind, her scowl faded and her
expression softened; her luminous green eyes shimmering with love.
“Making love slowly doesn’t slow down time, Ryan. Sometimes, it
might make it go even faster.”

“It goes too fast when we’re together,” I
murmured, my arms going around her and pulling her gently into my
arms again. “I remember the minutes better if we don’t rush through
it,” I admitted.

Her hand traced my jaw, and my breath
stopped at the look in her eyes and the subtle smile on her lips.
“Why are you so amazing?”

I kissed her briefly, an open-mouth kiss
that could have escalated if I let it, but I slid my hand inside
the ass of her panties and gave her a playful squeeze. “I’m not,” I
say wryly. “I just love you. Now, get busy, Mrs. Matthews, so we
can get to the good stuff.” I released her reluctantly and picked
up a box of ornaments.

We worked together, filling the tree with
the childhood memories, telling each other the stories behind each
ornament our mothers had sent and adding the new ones that Julia
had purchased at the end. The evening was magical, filled with
soft, sexy touches, entwined fingers and lingering kisses that
promised the amazing lovemaking that would follow. Her half naked
body was driving me mad.

The tree was turning out beautifully, and I
watched Julia carefully placing the baubles evenly on it;
the
style was eclectic, blending nostalgia
with new, and I realized it was so like us. Eight years of
memories, some sparkling and some not so much, a solid base for the
precious new ones that would adorn our future. I shook my head.
When did I become such a sentimental sap?

We were almost finished, only the garland
and tinsel remaining, when my phone rang. It was just after eleven.
Julia began picking up the empty ornament boxes and put them away
in a bigger cardboard box for storage.

“Maybe it’s your mother,” Julia suggested.
“She knew we were decorating tonight. She probably wants you to
send a picture.”

“Should I send her one of your hot ass in
that get-up?” I teased, walking to get the phone from the table in
the hall.

I answered without checking the number.
“Hello?”

“Ryyyaaannn!” Jane sobbed on the other end
of the phone. “I’m so… sorry to call, but I didn’t have anyone else
I could talk to!”

My jaw hardened instantly as I glanced at
Julia, who was still straightening up the living room. This was not
going to go well. I didn’t want to say anything, reluctant to ruin
the amazing evening that we had going.

“Can we talk tomorrow or on Sunday?” I would
be back at work on Sunday. Julia’s back straightened and she turned
to look at me. I could see it in her face, she knew who it was.
Surely, she could tell I wasn’t happy about it.

“Noooooo!” Jane cried. “Daniel left! I can’t
believe he did this to me right before Christmas!”

Fuck!
The fucker was a first class
dick. “I’m really sorry that happened, but maybe you’re better off.
He didn’t appreciate you.” The words rushed out of my mouth before
I could think. “I told you that before.”

She hiccupped on the other end of the phone.
Instinct told me to turn away from Julia so maybe she wouldn’t hear
the conversation, and maybe I could get off the phone before too
long. “I know. He doesn’t want me because I can’t have kids.”

I could feel myself flush, the blood rushing
hotly beneath the skin of my face. I’d be an insensitive ass if I
tried to cut her off, but damn if that wasn’t what I wanted to do.
Julia’s expression told me she was upset, and I was helpless as I
watched her throw the garland angrily into the box and storm off
down the hall, closing the door loudly behind her.

“I’m sorry, Jane. Maybe he’ll come around,
if that’s what you want.”

“I don’t know what I want anymore…”

She continued to ramble on, and I could find
little words to comfort her. I knew if I tried to get off the phone
I’d come off like an insensitive prick, but now I had my own mess
to clean up.

*****

Almost an hour later, I was finally able to
end the call, promising Jane we’d talk more, and she’d feel better
after a good night’s sleep. I was feeling like hell, knowing that
what I’d face in the bedroom would not be the loving, sex-kitten
Julia that a few hours ago was teasing the shit out of me. I was an
asshole, no matter what I did. I ran a hand through my hair and
prepared to take my medicine. Maybe she’d understand.

Whenever I worked late, it was Julia’s
custom to leave the bathroom light on and the door cracked so I
could find my way to the bed, but tonight the room was awash in
total darkness. I pulled back the covers and listened for her
breathing to see if she was asleep. She was on her side, turned
away and curled into the fetal position, her hands clutched around
the covers across her chest. I knew she wasn’t asleep. The sleeve
of her T-shirt made me pause.
She was wearing clothes to
bed
… something we just didn’t do—not since we’d been married.
Not unless it was sexy lingerie that didn’t make it through the
night. The hope that the night wasn’t completely fucked was dashed
at the absence of the baby-doll she was wearing earlier. I tensed
and prepared myself to do whatever necessary to rip down the
invisible wall that felt tangible between the two of us.

I fumbled in the dark, shedding my clothes
into a pile on the floor before sliding in next to her. It had been
another long day and I was exhausted. I was anticipating this bed
so damn much before that phone call screwed it all up. I felt
guilty on both fronts. I resented the interruption even though it
was clear Jane needed my support, and guilty, because even if Julia
didn’t say anything, I knew the continued interruptions from Jane
were wearing on her. It was getting more and more obvious that
something was going to have to give. I wasn’t fucking blind but I
didn’t exactly know how to get myself out of the quagmire without
hurting Jane.
How did I get in this fucking mess?

I rolled onto my side toward Julia, longing
to curl up next to her and feel her against me, trying find a way
to heal the damage that had been done. I’d wanted so much for
tonight, but now it was late, the evening lost. I sighed in regret.
It was my own damn fault. I needed to grow a pair with Jane. I
reached out to Julia even though it seemed like she was asleep
already.

The minute my hand touched her back, she
recoiled sharply, and my breath caught in my throat. Never in the
whole time we’d known each other had she pulled away from me like
my touch burned her skin, and not since we’d been married had there
been a night she wasn’t wrapped up, naked, in my arms. My chest
tightened painfully. It was worse than I thought.

“Julia…” I began, but the words fell away. I
knew she was pissed. Hell,
I
was pissed, but I felt a
responsibility to this poor girl who was stabbed and mutilated in
my stead.