A Love of Her Own (14 page)

Hilton chuckled. He’d certainly had rotten luck with women. Too bad he hadn’t gone out of town
where no one knew his family history and met a future wife at college, like his brother had. But the important thing was that he’d gotten away from the city where all the women seemed to know who he was, thanks to the network that existed of middle-aged mothers, aunts and even grandmothers, all of whom knew who among their contemporaries had married whom, along with the number and gender of any offspring from each union. Men, on the other hand, were different. It was years before anyone on the force had found out his grandfather’s identity…and even then, the information came from a female officer.

But he was determined that one day he would find a special woman who genuinely loved him and who wouldn’t be influenced by learning about his
net worth.

His mouth curled into a smile
as it occurred to him that he might already have found her.

*****

Even as she approached the platform where Kendall and Spencer’s table was surrounded by reserved seating for their friends and family members, with her hand resting comfortably in the secure grip of Hilton’s, Ava was straining to see the seating arrangements. She knew they had pushed tables together to make two large tables to accommodate the group, and she didn’t know who was sitting where. There were certain people in their crowd she would rather keep more distance from. Once she saw who was sitting where it would avoid any awkwardness.

Hilton glanced at her curiously. Her hand seemed to stiffen in his, and he wondered why. Was she feeling guilty at sending Marcus to her sister’s
overnight so they could have an evening out together and bring in the new year? But then her hand relaxed just as quickly as it had tightened up.

At the table for ten they slipped into seats between their hosts and Zena and Barry Lucas, and across from Cliff and Connie Duke. Ava would have preferred to have sat across from Vanessa and Brian Brown, who hadn’t arrived yet; but she could manage with this current setup without too much discomfort. She introduced Hilton to the Dukes and to the Lucases, both of whom said they remembered him from the tree trimming.

Within minutes the vacant chairs closest to them were filled by Spencer’s nephew Todd Barnes and his date. Ava was so pleased with the way the seating worked out she didn’t object to putting on one of those silly pointed hats Kendall insist everyone wear. Todd was not one of her favorite people, and she knew he wasn’t one of Kendall’s either. He behaved like he believed himself to be every woman’s dream, flirting with every female he came in contact with. He had come on to Kendall at their first meeting, even after Spencer made it clear she was spoken for. Ava herself had encountered him at a social event a few years back, long before Kendall had met Spencer, and when he insisted on getting her telephone number she deliberately changed a digit just to get rid of him. He had been frosty toward her ever since and probably was as anxious not to sit near her as she was to him.

She leaned back in her chair, reached over Hilton’s back and tapped Zena. “How is it you and Barry
are sitting way at the end of the table? There was still room in the middle.”

“I figured you and Kendall would want to sit together. Besides
…” instead of finishing her statement Zena simply flashed Ava a knowing look, and Ava realized she and Barry had deliberately taken those seats to prevent an uncomfortable situation from developing. Good old Zena, she was sharp as a potato peeler. It meant a lot to Ava to know that people looked out for her. She relaxed and prepared to have a good time with her friends…even those with whom she wasn’t so friendly.

*****

“…three…two…one…Happy New Year!”

The band burst into the chorus of “Old Lang Syne” as the club’s clientele cheered and celebrated the arrival of the New Year. Hilton leaned in to plant a lingering kiss on Ava’s mouth, and for those brief seconds all the background noise diminished and she felt there was no one else in the room but the two of them.

“Happy New Year, Ava,” he whispered. “I can’t tell you how glad I am to be spending it with you.” Then he rubbed her back before leaning back in his seat, not giving her a chance to reply.

“And happy anniversary to us,” Connie Duke said.

“That’s right, I forgot you two got married on New Year’s Day,” Kendall said.

“Are you doing anything special to celebrate?” Spencer asked.

“We’re going to Savannah for the weekend,” Cliff replied.

“Is it a special anniversary?” Hilton asked.

“No, just the eighth. But we generally go away every year.”

“I think the only reason he asked me to marry him on New Year’s was so that we could get great rates for travel. No one likes to go away right after the holidays,” Connie said.

Cliff shrugged. “That, and because you were pregnant,” he said with a laugh.

Ava abruptly stood up. “Excuse me a moment,” she said.

“I’ll go with you,” Kendall said quickly. “Be right back, folks.”

Hilton noticed Connie Duke give her husband a jab in the ribs as well as a stern look, while Cliff responded with a guilty expression. He wondered what it was all about
. Could it possibly have anything to do with Ava’s choosing that precise moment to go to the powder room?

That really didn’t make sense, and when
Ava and Kendall returned less than five minutes later, the lighthearted party atmosphere continued without a trace of awkwardness or resentment, so he told himself Connie was just annoyed with Cliff for bringing up the fact that she had been pregnant at the time of their marriage, which certainly wasn’t anyone’s business but their own.

*****

“Alone at last.”

Hilton moved
to stand close behind Ava and nuzzle her neck as she unlocked her front door. She jerked her neck to look at him, a question burning in her brain. “It doesn’t bother you that Marcus has been staying with me, does it?”

“O
f course not. He’s a great kid. Children’s development is important, Ava. I was willing to stay home with him and see in the new year quietly, remember?”

She nodded. “That’s right, you were.” He’d made the offer before Goodyear’s arrest, no doubt aware that she still worried about leaving Marcus in anyone else’s care. After Goodyear was jailed they decided it was safe to do so.

“It’s just that even your own kids can maybe cramp your style,” Hilton said. “You’ll find that out when you have your own.”

“Oh.” She gulped, and it sounded so loud to her ears she was certain he’d heard it.
Tell him,
that inner voice in her brain urged.

Shut up!
a voice from her heart yelled back.
Do you want to ruin a romantic moment? How often do you get to have these? How many times have you even gotten to be alone with Hilton in the last week?

“Yes,” he was saying
as he followed her inside, “old Mom and Dad need some private time together, just the two of them, so they don’t forget why they got together in the first place.”

Her breathing quickened
as she turned to face him. He’d pushed the door shut and was moving closer…simultaneously, her lips parted and her eyes closed.

Gathering her into his arms, he held her snugly. He first kissed her forehead, then the tip of her nose and finally her mouth. She stood on tiptoe to wrap her arms around his neck and breathed lightly through parted lips, savoring the magic of kissing him.

Afterward he buried his face in her hair and planted burning kisses on her jaw and throat. “I can’t think of a better way to start the year than to take you to bed,” he whispered.

Ava’s eyes remained closed.
She would like nothing better herself than to make love to Hilton, right up until the sun rose. They had arrived at the crossroads. She’d known it was coming, but this time it was different. In the past there had only been her desires to consider, but now her emotions were involved as well. She had no second thoughts about how her previous relationships would end, nor were there any regrets about anything she had done while they were ongoing. The notion that this was as good as it would get for her was ingrained too deeply in her psyche. But since meeting Hilton she had dared to hope it could be different. She did desire him, but her feelings went much deeper than that. Moving to the level of intimacy would break the wonderful spell of a loving relationship…one which could probably go no further than this.

She didn’t know if she could handle it.

“It’s all right,” Hilton said, presuming her silence meant refusal. He continued to hold her, savoring the feel of her sweetness and femininity so close to him. Considering the fervor with which she’d kissed him, those little whimpering noises she made, the way her tongue mated with his, the way her body trembled in his arms, and the way her hands traveled all over his back, he felt a little taken aback by her reluctance to take that next step. He’d allowed his thoughts to get ahead of him and imagined the two of them naked in bed, kissing and touching and tasting each other as they rolled about, their limbs intertwined. Her silence at his suggestion was as big a shock as if she’d just thrown a bucket of cold water at him.

He knew from her response to his kiss that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.
Something was obviously holding her back. Maybe she felt it was too soon, despite their easy camaraderie and their shared interest in the welfare of a child. They’d hadn’t even known each other for two weeks. A woman like Ava had to be in love, or very close to it, to sleep with a man.

H
ilton had gone too long without a woman, but he could wait, for he wanted no one but her. And he considered that by the time she relented—and he was sure she would relent—perhaps they’d
both
be in love. There was no denying that his feelings for her were strong and getting stronger each time he saw her.

T
his time he would not be fooled. He wanted an open and honest relationship with a special woman. His days of being used were over.

Chapter
11

B
y five-thirty on New Year’s Day Ava’s home was teeming with guests. Officially her open house was in effect from four to seven, but it was usually after nine by the time the lasts guests departed.

The men gathered in the living room, where they watched college football on television. The women stood in groups in the dining room and by the stairs, talking as they ate, often with one eye on their smaller children who played nearby. The older ones were upstairs in what Ava now thought of as Marcus’
s room. She made it a point to go up every fifteen minutes or so to make sure they were behaving, but then Catherine arrived with her teenaged daughter, Erica, who volunteered to go up and supervise them.

Ava relaxed a little after that. She focused her attention on the buffet that had been set up on the dining room table. By tradition the women brought an appetizer or side item and the men brought liquor. The fact that most of her circle of friends were couples, married or just dating, meant they showed up with one of each. Ava, as the hostess, had provided a six-foot submarine sandwich stuffed with turkey, ham, roast beef and Provolone cheese, with the fixings, like shredded lettuce, sliced tomato, sliced black olives, onion and various types of peppers, as well as mustard and mayonnaise, in chilled bowls, as well as a non-alcoholic punch and bourbon-laced eggnog.

Ava had chosen to do her annual holiday entertaining on New Year’s Day because she knew it was the best possible choice for her emotionally. She enjoyed seeing how the children of her friends were maturing, and on this day she could without that wistful feeling getting hold of her. She knew that among today’s children were the leaders and great minds of tomorrow, and wouldn’t it be wonderful if somewhere among these youngsters was a future President or other person of accomplishment?

Her spirits were up, as they always were on New Year’s Day, at both the hope and promise of a new year and the relief at having survived another difficult holiday season.

Kendall and Spencer left at nine-thirty, leaving only Hilton and Marcus home with Ava. By then Marcus, with no more playmates, had come downstairs. An unusually affectionate Kendall, possibly buoyed by the several glasses of spiked eggnog she’d consumed, gave Marcus a crushing embrace. “So long, cutie pie. I hope I see you again.”

“Oh, you will,” Ava assured her. She tried not to laugh at Marcus’
s look of bewilderment at practically being smothered by a friend of his Aunt Ava’s who wasn’t nearly as friendly when he first met her just hours earlier.

“She’s deep,” he remarked after the Barneses left.

“You have to excuse her. She’s usually a little more refined,” Ava said.

“Too much celebrating between last night and tonight,” Hilton observed. He put an arm around Marcus’
s shoulder. “C’mon, Sport, let’s help with the clean-up.”

“You were real good with the kids, Marcus,” Ava said as they cleared the table. “Erica said you had everything under control and she barely had to open her mouth when the
younger kids started getting rambunctious.”

“Oh, I’m used to it. I’m the oldest grandchild in my family, and I’m always in charge of my si
—of my cousins. Hey, you want me to pick up glasses and stuff from the living room?”

“Good idea. Bring them to us in the kitchen.”

Ava sighed as she and Hilton moved into the kitchen with the leftovers. “I’m really going to miss that kid when he’s gone.”

“It’s not like you’re never going to see him again, Ava. You two have formed too close a bond for that to happen.”

“Yes, I know, but it won’t be the same.”

“Sounds like you’ve gotten attached.”

“I know I have.”

She sensed he had moved behind her even before she felt his arms wrap around her waist.

“That’s perfectly understandable,” he said softly, his lips mere inches from her ear. “But you don’t want to let it get out of hand. He does have family taking care of him, even if it’s the most dismal and crowded surroundings.” Ava had told him there had been a fire and that the Hudson family was living in much smaller quarters temporarily but, keeping her promise to Marcus, had not disclosed that it was a single room at The Avalon. “His relationship with you is the icing on the cake. No child can have too many people love him.” He nuzzled her neck for a delicious moment, then said, “I’ve watched you with him. You are going to be one fabulous mother when your time comes. And that’s who you’ll want to get attached to, your own.”

S
wallowing hard, she took his hands and removed them from her waist. “We’d better not let Marcus catch us in a clinch.”

“There’s nothing wrong with him seeing us show affection for each other, Ava. He probably hasn’t seen much fondness between men and women in his life. His grandparents are probably like most older folks and aren’t very demonstrative, and I know he’s never seen his parents together. He told me he doesn’t even know who his father is.”

“He told you that?”

“While we were working. We’ve gotten pretty tight
, too.”

His words came out clipped and
impersonal; he might as well have been talking to a stranger. Ava knew he was hurt by her abrupt termination of their embrace, and probably from what he perceived as a rebuff of his advances last night, but given the circumstances, what else could she do? She simply couldn’t bring herself to tell him the truth, but it was tearing her apart.

She made an excuse.
“I think I’m just a little tired, Hilton. It was a late night last night, and then the party today.”

He followed her lead and continued to work in silence, but he
asked himself if he could have imagined her being fond of him. Was he again involved in a one-sided attachment?

No, he told himself. Ava’s interest in him was real. He hadn’t imagined the way she came alive in his arms, her eager response to his kisses. Her detachment had come in the last few days. Maybe she’d been put off by his own withdrawal after his dismal trip to Augusta. Or maybe she simply felt sad that her time with Marcus was coming to a close. He didn’t know how to handle the situation, other than to follow her lead and keep
a little distance between them.

It didn’t take long for the three of them to get the house in reasonable order. H
ilton left immediately afterward, and his good nights to both Ava and Marcus sounded strained and unnatural, even to his own ears. In turn, Ava’s response seemed forced and stilted. He had the uncomfortable feeling that she couldn’t wait for him to leave.

*****

Ava told Marcus she was tired. She half expected not to be able to fool him, astute as he was, but she nonetheless wasn’t prepared for him to ask, “Are you and Mr. Hilton mad at each other?” with the same worried frown he had worn the night he asked if she was sending him back to his grandparents at The Avalon after Goodyear was arrested.

“No, Marcus. We just had a
…” her voice trailed off as she realized there was no way to accurately describe what had just occurred. She couldn’t describe it as a disagreement or even a difference of opinion, because Hilton had no idea what her opinion was. She had reacted by putting a wall around herself when he unwittingly made a comment she found unbearable, shutting him out and leaving him bewildered. There was no way she could explain that to Marcus…any more than she could explain it to Hilton.

Alone in her room, for the first time she considered the feelings of the men she had dated since venturing back into the social scene a few years after her divorce. How must they have felt when she withdrew without warning or explanation? Each man
—and there had only been a few—had tried to get her to open up and talk about what was on her mind, but she had refused. Now she felt ashamed of her behavior. Those men had cared about her, and they deserved to know the truth. In a way her behavior was just as bad as Linda’s. Well, maybe not. She hadn’t fabricated a tale about being pregnant, couldn’t even imagine acting out such a scheme. Still, she was deliberately withholding information because she hated the mere thought of being rejected, pitied or being stared at like a sideshow freak.

By the time she went to sleep, Ava had worked herself up into a very righteous mode of thinking. She was going to put an end to all of this foolishness and tell Hilton the truth about herself, and while she was at it she would also apologize for turning so cold on him.

While she slept she had a familiar dream. She was queen to Hilton’s king—she was always the queen character, while whatever man she was seeing was the male monarch—in some remote, unidentified land where the people, blurry and faceless, wore plumes and powdered wigs. The subjects, angered at her inability to produce an heir, had gathered in the courtyard of the palace and were shouting, “Off with her head!” over and over. The mob overpowered the palace guards burst inside, tied Hilton up and captured her, carrying her to a dungeon and tying her to a flat surface. She woke up just before the blade of the guillotine slammed into her neck, her heart beating twice as fast as usual and her body damp with perspiration.

*****

Ava’s mood turned somber when, on Sunday evening after dinner, drove Marcus back to the hotel that was his home. She had her own car back by now, and he seemed mostly fascinated by the features of the dashboard than anything else, but she forcibly removed his hand from the instrument panel and placed it on the seat. “I hope you realize you’ve been given a second chance, Marcus. Everyone doesn’t get to have that. I hope you’ll stay out of trouble, because you probably won’t get a third chance. That thug you worked for may be dead, but there’ll be someone waiting to take his place. Just stay away from all of them, and you should be fine.”

He nodded knowingly. “I know. You’re going to tell me to do good in school and stay away from
downtown. Just like Mr. Hilton.”

“
Hilton spoke to you?”

“Ye
ah. He wants me to keep working with him after school. He’s still gonna pay me twenty-five dollars a week, too, even though it’ll only be for a few hours. Hey! I forgot my lunch bag!”

“Why don’t you stop by in the morning
and get it on your way to school? I know it’s a few blocks out of your way, but I’ll pack you a really good lunch to make it worth your while.”

“Deal! ‘Bye, Aunt Ava.” He kissed her cheek before getting out of the car. Having him leave her with a smile on his face somehow made it easier.

After she watched him disappear inside the doors of the hotel she immediately drove to the supermarket to get the fixings for his lunch. When she returned home she saw Hilton’s Pathfinder parked in front of her house, and she could see his large outline as he sat on the porch railing.

She slowly moved up the front walk.
This was the first she’d heard of him since their little tiff the other night. She hoped he hadn’t come with the intent of having a showdown; frankly, she wasn’t up to it. “Hi!”

He stood with his feet slightly wider than his hips, his hands in his pockets.
“Hi. I thought I’d come by and make sure you were all right. I had a hunch you might need some cheering up after bringing Marcus home.”

“That was sweet, but I’m all right, really. Marcus is going to come by tomorrow
before school and pick up his lunchbox. He left it here, so I told him I’ll make his lunch.” An idea occurred to her. “Actually, I don’t see why I can’t do that for him every day.”

“Sounds like a good idea. It’ll make him feel special.”

“It’ll also give him at least one good meal a day.” She climbed the porch steps and fished in her purse for her house keys. “He told me he’s going to keep working with you. That was really sweet of you to make that offer, Hilton. It’ll keep him busy and out of trouble…but I’m sure that was your intent, wasn’t it?”

Hilton chuckled. “Why don’t you come for a ride with me?” It won’t take long.”

She nodded. “All right. I just need a minute to put this food away.”

*****

Hilton had driven less than a mile when he pulled over in front of a gold Queen Anne with a brown trim. “Is this your place?” she asked.

“This is it.
I think it’s high time I brought you here. Come on in.”

Ava walked inside, and her eyes widened.
The luminous walnut woodwork of the staircase really wasn’t a surprise; given his carpentry skills she would expect no less. What did come as a surprise was the appearance of what was meant to be the living room, which instead of actual furniture was full of wood planks of various shapes and sizes leaning against the wall, plus a work table equipped with a saw, drill, other tools and large cans of polyurethane and wood staining fluid.

“You can see why I didn’t invite you over sooner,” Hilton said, a tad sheepishly. “My plan is to move all this
stuff into the garage, but I need to do some work out there first. Marcus will help me with that. But this is actually what I wanted to show you.” He walked over to the wall and picked up an oak-stained strip leaning against it, about two feet long and eighteen inches deep. One side had the original sharp edges intact, the other side had been gently rounded.

Ava was confused. “It’s a piece of wood,” she observed. “It would make wonderful shelving
…” her voice trailed off as something clicked in her brain. Her eyes met his for confirmation of what she was thinking. “Oh, Hilton, it’s lovely. But we never got around to discussing it officially.”