A Love So Deep (37 page)

P
acing
the floor, Rita held her head in the palms of her hands. She periodically rubbed her temples to relieve the pressure. Walking was the only thing she could do. If she sat down, her nerves would become more unraveled than they already were.

What would she tell Graham? And then there was William sitting over in a corner refusing to go home. She had to tell Graham the truth no matter the consequences. And she would not be able to put it off another minute.

Rita looked up at the sound of footsteps. Graham rushed toward her, a jacket dangling from his arm. He embraced Rita when he got near, kissed her tenderly on the mouth and held her again—glad to see her. Graham pulled back and noticed the small cut over her eye and examined it a moment before he spoke. He brushed her hair away from her eye and noticed her hair was somewhat matted. A puzzled look came over him, but he didn’t say a word.

“Where’s Charlie? What happened to him? What happened to you?”

Rita flinched, not sure what to say first. Surveying the room, Graham noticed a man who seemed quite familiar staring in their direction. The man wore dreads that snaked across his head with a free-fall to his shoulders.

“Let’s go sit down over there, Graham,” Rita said, pointing her finger at the cluster of chairs that comprised the waiting room.

Graham looked at Rita thoughtfully and then followed as she led him to a row of seats. He looked up and saw the same guy watching them—his eyes passing back and forth between he and Rita as if observing a ping-pong tournament. It was unnerving, and it was getting the best of Graham.

Still standing, Graham moved close to Rita’s ear and whispered. “There’s a guy watching us.”

“Where?” Rita asked.

“The guy sitting in the corner. Don’t turn your head right away because he’ll know we’re talking about him. His face is familiar, but I can’t place it.”

“Sit down, Graham.”

Graham continued to stand, his eyebrows arched and his mouth turned downward. He reached out and touched Rita’s elbow, and she turned to face him. “What is it, Rita? What is it you’re not telling me? Where’s Charlie and how does he figure in this?”

“Sit down, Graham. Please sit down.”

Graham searched Rita’s face and let out a sigh. He relented and sat down, throwing his jacket on the back of the chair.

It was hard to look into his face, and she avoided that as long as she could. Graham’s patience was growing thin. Rita could tell by the way his eyes became slanted and his jaw line moved up and down. She looked up and stared into his waiting eyes.

“Charlie attacked me last night.”

Graham’s mouth flew open, and his breathing became labored. He jumped from his seat and jabbed at his temples with the points of his fingers. He sat back down and looked into Rita’s pleading eyes.

“Charlie attacked you? When? Where? Oh…it’s my fault. It’s my fault.” He reached over and held Rita. “You could have been hurt and I wasn’t there to protect you.”

“It’s not your fault, baby,” Rita said, pushing him back a little to keep from being smothered.

“It is my fault. Yesterday Charlie told me something that disturbed me about Amanda.”

Rita’s eyes became wide as saucers.

“We said some terrible things to each other, and I threw him out of my house. I knew he had been drinking, and I still let him get behind the wheel of his car and drive away while secretly hoping something bad would happen to him. He went over to Mary’s house and tried to take advantage of her. She was frightened but he must have come to his senses and left. She called looking for you. That’s why I called you at The Water Hole yesterday to see if you were all right.”

“But why would Mary be looking for me?”

“Seems Charlie may have called out your name while he…I was so stupid to let him go out by himself all liquored up. I don’t believe this.”

Graham paused and turned his head slightly to the left, catching a glimpse of the man in the corner. “And that guy is still looking at us.”

Rita kneaded Graham’s fingers. The right words were not coming, and she could feel her pressure rising. She fidgeted in her seat, and finally looked in Graham’s eyes—eyes that were sorry…sorry for not protecting her when she needed him most. He held her hands tight not wanting to let go.

“Tell me what happened, Rita. How did it happen? Where? And how did Charlie end up in the hospital?”

Looking away and then back at Graham, Rita began to recount her story, promising herself not to leave out any details. She mashed her lips together and let out a little sigh. She needed all the courage she could muster.

“I was coming home from the club…” Still holding Rita’s hands, Graham looked at her and noticed for the first time that she was still wearing her clothes from last evening. “…I was unlocking my door when someone came from behind and opened the door and pushed me in. It was Charlie.” Rita stopped and watched Graham’s face—eyes flat, not moving, almost fixed like he was dead. The muscles in his arms began to flex—thick veins protruding along the length of them. Graham looked straight ahead as Rita continued her story.

“He,” Rita began, “he tried to kiss me. We fought and he picked me up and threw me up against a wall. He was ranting and raving and saying he loved me.”

“Stop! I don’t want to hear any more.” Graham jumped up from his seat and started pacing back and forth and in circles. His fists were clenched and he gritted his teeth, occasionally hitting one fist into the palm of the other hand. After a minute or two, he sat back down, reached for Rita’s hands, and held them.

“You’ve been through a lot, baby. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. But what happened to Charlie and why is he in the hospital?”

Before Rita could respond, William got up from his seat and headed in their direction.

“That guy is coming toward us,” Graham said, catching a glimpse of William in his peripheral vision. “Who is he?”

Rita caught her breath. In a voice that was barely audible, Rita said, “He’s my ex-husband. He’s the one who saved me.”

Graham released her hands.

“Please let me finish. If it hadn’t been for William showing up when he did, I don’t know what would have happened. I don’t know if I could have stood up to a drunken Charlie. William found my door open, heard the noise, saw the commotion, picked up a vase and hit Charlie on the back of the head.”

Words were lost on Graham. He jumped up from his seat in disgust. “Your ex…ex-husband, your ex-husband? You’re telling me that your ex-husband just happened to stop by to see you at two or three in the morning?” Graham’s lip began to quiver and his nostrils were flaring like a raging bull. Both hands went into the air, his fingers pointed straight—then he raised and lowered them as he tried to get his point across. “And what was your ex-husband doing at your apartment that time of morning? That’s what I’d like to know.”

Before Graham could turn around, William was upon them. William extended his hand. “I’m William Long.”

A distorted frown was etched across Graham’s face. He looked at William, surveyed his face, glanced down at his outstretched hand, rolled his eyes around in their sockets and let them rest on Rita. “What room did you say Charlie was in?”

Graham grabbed his jacket from the chair and walked away before Rita could answer, leaving the two demons to their own devices. His haste left a dust cloud, and the inseams of Graham’s pants rubbed together, creating a noisy and thrashy beat, like a cricket’s mating call.

Rita hugged her chest and shook her head. He hadn’t given her a chance to explain.

W
here
he was walking didn’t matter at the moment. He had to distance himself from Rita. Life had a way of punishing you for your sins, and he hated to think that his girls had been right about Rita all along. Just to think that he was ready to commit heart and soul to her. Now it turned out that she was seeing her ex-husband on the sly.
The Bible says that your evil doing will come to the light
, he thought.

At that moment Graham was ashamed…ashamed that he had let his family and church down. He was ashamed because it hadn’t been two months since Amanda was buried that he was burying his sorrows in another woman’s bosom. He was ashamed because he fought his daughters on principle—it was his life and he was going to live it as he saw fit. He had been insensitive to Deborah’s and Liz’s feelings about the loss of their mother.

To think Rita pretended to be innocent in front of his in-laws! They could have denounced Rita and Graham, too, but Martha took up for him at a public church meeting and let Sister Mary Ross have it. Graham smiled at that thought. He would have given anything to see that moment.

Realizing that he had been walking in circles, Graham saw the information desk and asked for Charlie’s room number. Graham hunched his shoulders when he got near the room, trying to push the dread out of his mind. When he came upon the door to Charlie’s room, he hesitated, looked at the card on the door with Charlie’s name on it, and pushed it open.

Graham had hoped Charlie would not be awake, but there he was in the hospital bed with a large bandage on the back of his head. He looked like a mummy wrapped up in all of those white blankets, propped up watching television. Charlie the mummy turned the volume down when Graham approached the bed.

They stared at each other for a moment. Charlie motioned for Graham to sit in a chair beside the bed. Graham plopped down in it, smirked and looked up at Charlie.

“Why?”

“I’m a miserable old man. I can’t do anything right. I’ve lost my best friend.” Charlie hesitated and started again when Graham didn’t say anything. “I’ve made some terrible mistakes in my life…and some that I’m not too proud of. If I could erase the slate clean, I would this very minute. If I had life to do all over again, I would be a different person. But I can’t, we only get that one chance at life, and I’ve blown it. I can only ask those who I’ve committed an injustice against for forgiveness.

“There’s some things about me, Graham, you may never know. I want you to know that you’ve been the best friend a guy could ever have.” Charlie paused and looked in Graham’s direction. “You were the brother I never had. We were tight. We did everything together. I could always count on you. You and Amanda treated me like one of the family. I am your girls’ godfather, and I love them so much. I love you, too, buddy.” Charlie tried to smile. “And I hope you will forgive me. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but all the same, I’m asking.”

Silence was more painful than the twenty-one stitches that ran around the base of Charlie’s head. He could hear Graham shuffling in his seat, his feet sliding occasionally across the floor, but no words to provide relief seemed forthcoming.

Graham looked down at the floor, taking in all that Charlie had said. It wasn’t going to change anything. Charlie had made his bed and he was going to have to lie in it. Graham wanted a reasonable answer for Charlie’s misdeeds, and he wanted to understand how and when he had become the despicable person that he now was.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Charlie said, sensing Graham’s reluctance. “Maybe someday we can…”

“Why, Charlie? Why Amanda and Rita? Can you answer that for me?”

“I don’t know, Graham. Maybe I was jealous because life seemed to favor you instead of me. Maybe I felt cheated.”

“You had every opportunity that I had,” Graham interrupted. “You came from a loving home. You did all right in school. All the women loved you. You had your pick of the litter. I settled down, but you didn’t. I joined the church, you preferred the night life. I got married and settled down. You got married and divorced. But through it all, I was always there for you…like a brother.

“Our home…was open to you. And there’s no excuse on this earth for you to violate my trust, violate the only two women that I’ve ever loved.”

“I’ll agree with you on most of what you said, but I’d rather not talk about this anymore. If you don’t mind, I would like for you to do me a favor. I’ll be in the hospital for at least another day or two—mainly for observation. Would you go by the house and get some things for me? I’ll need my insurance information; I’ll tell you where to find it. I’d appreciate it very much if you would do this for me.”

“No problem.” Graham looked up at Charlie and smiled. “I thought back to the day you nearly kicked my door down and told me to take a bath and get my act together or you were going to call the police on me.”

Charlie smiled. “It took a lot to get through to you, but you did. And the next day you saw Rita.”

Graham’s smile disappeared from his face. “I’ll get your things. I have your spare key on my key ring. I’m going to go and see Martha first, then head out to your place. I’ll be back in a little while.”

Graham stood up to leave.

“Thanks, man. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I’ll wait.”

Graham nodded his head and left the room. He had committed to all that he was going to commit to for one day. He headed toward Martha’s room.

Martha and Charlie were on the same floor—Martha on the east wing, Charlie on the west wing. Graham walked slowly allowing the morning’s events to seep in. He had never been so disappointed in all his life, and now there was no one he trusted or could go to and vent his frustrations.

As he approached Martha’s room, he tried to put on a happy face. The last thing he wanted to do was upset Martha and get her blood pressure boiling. He would handle the situation with Rita. It was better that he found out about her now rather than later.

A great big smile met Graham when he opened the door. Martha was eating the last bit of her lunch and offered to share.

“No, you eat. Umm, mashed potatoes and meat loaf.”

“It was delicious. Not as good as mine, but good all the same. Did you come by yourself?”

“Yes, Charlie’s in the hospital.”

“Oh my word. What happened to him?”

“It’s a long story.”

“Well, I’ve got time. Sit in that chair and let me have it. They say my heart is as good as new. With a little exercise and better eating habits, I’ll be fine.”

Graham sat in the chair and laid his jacket across the back. He looked at Martha and then at the floor and decided he needed to talk. Forty-five minutes later, Martha looked at Graham.

“I want you to listen to me and listen good. Rita is a good girl. No matter what you’ve just told me, I like her very much…in fact I love that one.”

Graham began to protest.

“Hush. I said my heart was in good condition, but it doesn’t need any undue stress. Do you remember Thanksgiving Day?”

Graham nodded his head.

“After all the festivities, Rita and I had gone off by ourselves—to my room. I took out a trunk and showed her some of Amanda’s things. That’s when she confided in me about her ex-husband who has been trying to extort money from her. She believes that he has been following the two of you. He had no contact with Rita for years, and somehow he ended up in Oakland…and of all places, that club called The Water Hole. He must have seen the two of you together and hatched some scheme to get to Rita.”

“Rita confided all of this to you? Why couldn’t she have come to me?”

“She wanted to, baby. Scared was the word. She was afraid of what you might think, especially since all of the commotion with the girls. She was trying to handle it all by herself, but the more she did, the more motivated that scoundrel became. That’s what we were talking about when I had my heart attack.”

Lowering his eyes, Graham began to shake his head back and forth.

“No time for that, son. You need to get up from here and find that girl. Don’t let her out of your sight. She loves you so much and would never intentionally hurt you.”

“Did you give her a chance to explain?” Martha shook her head. “Figures. She’s been through a traumatic experience from what you told me. Men just don’t know how to get it right. You don’t think. At the first sign of trouble, you go running off with your tail between your legs.”

The bulge in Graham’s eyes didn’t get past Martha.

“Yes, that’s what I said.”

And they laughed.
The wisdom of this woman
, Graham thought.

“You’re right, Mom. I’ve got to find Rita. Maybe
I’ll
get a chance to save her.”

“Well, get on. You’re wasting time.”

Graham kissed Martha and headed for the door, running into Reverend Fields on his way out.

“Hi ya, Graham. How’s Sister Martha today?”

“Good, Reverend. She’s absolutely amazing. You better watch out, she might have a good word for you.”

“Heh, heh, heh.” The Reverend smiled. “Now where’s that pretty young filly you had over to the sister and deacon’s house the other night? You need to bring her to church. We need us a songbird like that in our choir…and she don’t look bad, either.”

“I’m on my way to find her right now, Reverend. Reverend Fields, there’s someone else in the hospital I’d like for you to stop by and see—Charlie.”

“I sho’ will, Brother Peters. Just write down his room number and I’ll make sure I stop by on my way out.”

“Charlie will appreciate it. Now good day. I’ll bring Dad by later on,” he added, looking in Mom’s direction.

“All right, baby. Just go and take care of business, now.”

A big smile covered Graham’s face. After leaving Reverend Fields the number to Charlie’s room, he practically ran back to where he had left Rita and William. There was no trace of them. Graham walked the corridors and after not finding them, went to the nurses’ station to inquire about their whereabouts. The nurse at the window looked at him with a silly grin on her face and hunched her shoulders like,
How am I supposed to know where they went?

There was no need to waste any more time there. The obvious place to look was at her apartment. He would go and pick the few items up at Charlie’s first and then go to Rita’s. The thought that William might be with her hastened Graham’s resolve to find her as soon as possible.