A Love Undone (19 page)

If determination gave her insight on how to do it, she would have his money to him by the close of the day.

Rain drizzled off the tin roof of the pole barn, creating a row of dozens of quarter-size mud puddles. Andy let the horse nuzzle against his palm as he murmured to him and stroked his neck. Puzzle, as Andy had aptly named him, had been one of the most difficult horses to tame. Now the formerly rogue creature enjoyed the most intimate connection for a horse—having his muzzle buried in a human’s hand. It was unusual for an animal like Puzzle to go from unreasonably difficult and dangerous to a big marshmallow.

With tongs in hand, Van pressed a hot horseshoe against Puzzle’s hoof, measuring it. The metal arc sizzled and steamed, but the animal felt only a slight tug, much like a human cutting a fingernail. “Got it.” Van pulled back the tongs and horseshoe, released the horse’s leg, and returned to the anvil. He hammered the horseshoe, flipping it and pounding it again as needed.

“I shoe horses on our farm, and I thought I was decent at it,” Andy commented, “but you make it look more like an art form.”

“If I could make a living selling ironwork knickknacks, I would. When I visit my parents, I spend most of my time pounding heated metal against an anvil to make all sorts of creative pieces—everything from fancy weather vanes and butterflies with movable wings to small toys—all to sell to the Englisch, mind you.”

Andy thought it odd that Van would spend his vacation doing
metalwork. “Is going to Ohio your only opportunity to make whatever you want?”

“Ya. Our bishop doesn’t allow creating anything that could appear to be an idol. But I couldn’t make a living doing that anyway, so I do it as a hobby when I’m visiting my parents, and my Mamm sells the pieces at a local market.”

Lester had introduced Andy to the bishop during a church meeting. Later that day Lester had said that he and Jolene had the same bishop and that Andy should never do anything to get crosswise with him. Bishops covered more than one church district, so Andy hadn’t been surprised that Jolene and Lester had the same one—apparently a very strict man.

Van shoved a second horseshoe into the forge to heat it and create two matching horseshoes for Puzzle’s front hoofs. Then he’d measure the back ones separately. Shoeing once-neglected horses wasn’t easy or quick. “So where is everyone today? I haven’t seen a soul since arriving two hours ago.”

“Lester is running some errands, and then he plans on making sandwiches for us, and the Keims are off.” It felt odd to refer to Jolene and Hope as the Keims. Was he trying to make it sound to Van as if there was more emotional distance between Jolene and him than there actually was? If so, he didn’t like it, because it smacked of hypocrisy. Or was he trying to keep her at an emotional distance so he would see her merely as someone his uncle had hired?

His heart turned a flip, rebelling against his will. Puzzle took a step back, looked at him, and shook his head. Andy stroked his face. “It is ridiculous, isn’t it?” he murmured quietly as Van banged on the
horseshoe. Trying to convince himself how to feel was like trying to tame a wild horse blindfolded. So how could he wrestle with his rogue emotions?

He had no idea how he would cope with leaving at the end of summer, but he’d never regret getting to know her. And his gut said he hardly knew her at all yet.

Andy reassured Puzzle, talking to him as Van approached with a horseshoe.

“I’ve been wondering”—Van plunged the hot horseshoe into the bucket of water—“did she tell you about us?” The water sizzled as steam rose, and sweat poured off Van’s smudged face.

Andy shrugged. “She gave me an overview, enough to know you were once engaged and the relationship didn’t work out.”

Van put the tongs in the wooden toolbox and got out a hammer and nails. “It was a tough time for everyone. Her parents were pillars in the community, and they were really great people. Losing them was hard, even for those who weren’t their children.” He aligned the shoe with the horse’s hoof and tapped a nail into place.

“I can imagine.”

He put in another nail. “Jo and I were too young for the amount of pressure on us.”

“I’m sure it was unbearable.” But Andy didn’t like where this conversation was leading. “You shouldn’t feel any obligation to justify yourself to me.”

“No?” With the final nail in place, Van put the hammer back in the toolbox and grabbed a file. “Huh. Feels like I need to.” He scraped the coarse file against the horseshoe and hoof, smoothing them. “I
can all but guarantee she’s never said much to folks in these parts. It’s not her way. But whenever I arrive, I seem to interrupt a private conversation between you two, so I guess she’s told you plenty.”

“She hasn’t, and you shouldn’t either.” If Jolene wanted to discuss the breakup, Andy would be honored to listen. But the idea of Van being the one to tell the story was offensive.

“Our wedding was set for a few weeks after her parents died. She wasn’t in any shape to get married, and the idea of taking on our grief as well as her siblings and the responsibility of raising them was simply too much.”

“I can understand that, but what’s baffling is why you feel the need to explain it to anyone, especially to me.” Why did Van want to unburden himself on Andy? He had family and friends of his own for that.

Van continued to file the horse’s hoof and shoe. “I know how it must look that I married someone else less than a year later.”

“Let’s not discuss this, Van. I’m neutral in this matter, it’s none of my business, and you seem to want to justify your actions. But you’re only digging a hole for yourself.”

“She had to tell you something. I was struggling with the loss of her parents too, and—”

“Van.” Andy peered around the horse’s shoulder. Why was Van pushing ahead anyway? Did he have a guilty conscience that he was looking to cleanse? “I know that period of time was filled with emotional difficulties, but I’ve made it clear. I don’t want to discuss it, and I’d appreciate it if you’d honor that.”

Van released the horse’s leg again and stepped back. “I don’t like how that mess must look to you.”

“So deal with it. I’m sure Jolene didn’t appreciate how
that mess
looked to people either, and by your own words, she hasn’t tried to win the community over to her side.”

Van narrowed his eyes. “That is what I’m doing, isn’t it—trying to win over your opinion?” He sighed. “Sorry. Even after all these years, I admire her. We just weren’t meant to be.”

“Then that’s all you need to say.”

Van stood up straight, working the kinks out of his back. “But what I don’t understand is that the night we broke up, she seemed to really understand and respect the need to go our separate ways. I told her to call me if she needed anything, and I meant it. But do you know when I got my first call from her?” He flipped the flat side of the file in the palm of his hand. “A few weeks ago. Other than polite chitchat or congratulations when Donna and I have another child, Jolene’s not spoken to me. It’s as if I became the enemy, and I don’t understand why.”

“She has no shyness about sharing her thoughts, and clearly you don’t either, so why haven’t you talked to her?”

Van shrugged before bending to put pressure on the horse’s leg until it was once again in his hands. “Our breakup was scandalous in these parts. Sometimes I think I can still hear people whispering about it. Has your community experienced anything that scandalous?”

“Ya.”

Apparently Van didn’t know Andy’s wife had left him, or he would realize that Andy understood the difficulties and ongoing disrespect around an unfortunate situation. It’d taken him years to get past the rage and find peace. Most people blamed him for Eva’s
departure, thinking that if he’d been a good husband, she wouldn’t have left. Others pitied him, as if his life had no meaning without her. People having compassion for a spell was understandable, but pity meant that they only felt sorry for him, erasing all ability to see him through the filter of respect.

When people asked him how he was doing and he gave the vague answer of “working through it,” a lot of folks condemned him, thinking it was sinful to struggle with lingering issues of anger or hurt—as if they could be treated wrong and immediately be at peace with it. How many times had people quoted the scripture “let not the sun go down upon your wrath”?

Andy didn’t understand what that verse meant, but he knew what it didn’t mean. God created people with a lot of emotions, and throughout the Word He gave room for every emotion. So the verse didn’t mean Andy was supposed to respond as if he were dead, and it would have taken someone being dead not to feel more than a day’s worth of anger over losing a spouse.

Puzzle jerked his head, whinnying. He shifted his body, and Van stumbled and fell on his backside. Puzzle snorted, stomping his feet.

Andy moved to the far side of him. “Easy boy.” The horse was picking up on something that made him nervous.

Movement near the side entry of the pole barn caught Andy’s attention.

Jolene.

Jolene stood just under the tin roof, drops of cold rain sliding down the back of her dress. Her stomach muscles quaked from the pent-up emotions, and she tightened her grip on the envelope of money in her right hand. Getting a hold of the money hadn’t been too hard. She had uncles and two brothers who’d chipped in to loan her the cash, and when they asked what the money was for, they allowed her to keep the reason to herself. But it would take Jolene a tremendous amount of work to pay it back. She spotted Van as he got up from the ground and dusted off his hands and pants.

Jolene strode toward him. “Van.”

He turned. The horse near Andy had his side to her, but he edged away as she moved forward.

She stopped a couple of feet from Van and held out a small white envelope. “I’m sure you meant well, but I disagree with what you did.”

Disappointment filled his face. “You know.” The resignation in his voice seemed tainted with dread.

When he didn’t reach for the envelope, she shook it at him. “Take it.”

“You can’t afford to pay me back.”

The idea of him telling her what she could and couldn’t do only
irked her more. “The money in the envelope is not an illusion, so apparently I can.”

“How?”

Just who did he think he was to her and her family anyway? “That’s not really your concern. But the next step is to involve the ministers and lay out this whole mess. Yoder should be allowed to keep only enough money to cover damages and some inconvenience.”

“You can’t do that. Ray, James, and I gave our word that news of the situation wouldn’t get out and wouldn’t be taken to the church leaders or anyone else.”

“What?” Her heart rate increased. When Van stepped in and took action, did he even pause to consider the cost? “Why?”

“It was our bargaining chip.”

“All that money wasn’t enough?”

“Yoder doesn’t want to get caught in his extortion, and we didn’t want you to find out what we’d agreed to, so we gave him our word that no one would take the incident to the church officials.”

Good grief!
She thrust the envelope at him again. “Take it.”

Hurt reflected in his eyes. “Why won’t you let it go? I took care of it.”

Her insides trembled so hard she feared her shoulders and arms would start trembling too, but she managed a controlled shake of her head. There was no point in trying to make Van understand. Was there a more clueless man in Winter Valley? “Most of my siblings are mature adults now and can make their own decisions, but never again go around me or help Ray or Hope behind my back. Will you agree to that?”

“You’re being overemotional and silly, Jo.”

Her face burned. Just how condescending could he be?
Silly
and
overemotional
were meant to put any woman in her place. What else did a man need to say?

Andy appeared out of nowhere leading a horse. If she’d paused to think, she would have assumed he was close by. Seeing him caused her quaking insides to ease.

He nodded at her while keeping his pace. “I’ll let you two talk in private.” He paused, his eyes locking with hers. “If he’s stolen your ground, Jolene, tell him so.”