A Maggot - John Fowles (56 page)

'There is a last matter, that is done against my
advice. I would the rather see thee flogged for thy insolence, had I
my way.' He pauses. 'I am instructed to give thee this, against thy
lying in.'

Ayscough feels inside a waistcoat pocket, then pushes
a small golden coin across the table, a guinea.

'I do not wish it.'

'Take. It is commanded.'

'No.'

'Thy new pride wishes it not. Nothing else.'

'No.'

'Take. I shall not ask again.' Rebecca looks down at
the coin, and shakes her head. 'Then I give thee what thou must
take.' They stare at each other. 'A prophecy. Thou'lt be hanged yet.'

Still Rebecca stares at him.

'Thee's need also, master Ayscough. I give thee more
love.'

She goes, and Ayscough
begins to collect his papers. After a few moments he reaches for his
rejected guinea and shoots a fierce glance towards John Tudor, as if
he would vent an anger on him. But that worthy is no fool; his head
is down.

* * *

Manchester, the 10th October.

Your Grace,

Your Grace will here read much I doubt he will
credit, yet I trust he will give me leave to say that I think we deal
not here with a tissue of cunning-ordinary lies, or such a tale as a
common female rogue might invent to save her skin; for were she truly
cunning of the kind, she should surely have found better than such
extravagance as this, nor thereby put her wretched skin at such risk.
In brief, in so much as the woman Lee is concerned, we may say as the
ancient father, Credo quia absurdum, it is most (if at all) to be
believed because it is impossible to be believed. For much it is
plain she was grossly practised upon by his Lordship and his man, and
that their practice did but swell and ripen those unseemly
resentments she had gained from her life in the bagnio. I am
persuaded she lies little in any ordinary sense, that is, as to what
she believes of these events and their nature and meaning; as non
obstante I am persuaded that her evidence is false in the substantial
truth of what passed.

Here I must first state to Your Grace what is not
clear writ, of her fit of seeing. This appeared to me neither
malignantly rehearsed, nor else in its nature than is said common
among her kind of superstitious sectary. I did find more suspicious a
manner upon her when she was recovered; as to which I may not easily
explain, 'twas as if she now put on anew a part of her hid till then:
a strumpet's insolence, such as I did meet with in her former
mistress, Claiborne. It is recorded, she did smile: but not her
ill-disguised scorn that I should ask her if she were not ashamed at
what she saw. Yet even this impudent and forward contempt in her was
neither politic nor cunning if she but purposed to deceive. I should
rather believe this, her fit made her the more determined in her
wilful pride, or the more careless of what her manner might betray of
disrespect for my enquiry.

Yr Grace will observe she shows little and often no
reason nor logick in her beliefs, and he may censure me that I
pressed not more hard to expose such patent muddled foolishness. I
pray Yr Grace will take my word, such as this may not be humbled so,
nay, are driven by it farther into their apostacy, and finally grow
bound irrevocable to it. I know her unlettered kind, they would
rather first be burnt at the stake than hear reason or recant; they
are obstinate to death, most blindly opiniatre, as fixed and resolute
in this, tho' it be in unreason and for all their womanishness in
outward, as any man in a far better cause. They are like those put
under a spell by some legendary romance, that once heard, they cannot
shake off; but are its foolish slaves thenceforward. Nothing shall
persuade them it be false. Lee is the more strong in this her
perversity, Yr Grace will divine, for that the rota fortunae did
bring her greatly above her destined station, notwithstanding it were
by vice and immodesty. She was never, as is the commonalty of her
sex, brought to know God's wisdom in decreeing for them their natural
place as helpmeet to man, in house and home alone.

In short Your Grace may believe me this, she is not
to be broken easily of her new ways. There was, apart from that
instance I have cited, in her general manner of answering less
pertness and contradiction than may appear in the written words, as
almost to say on occasion she was sorry to answer thus boldly, yet
must by her faith. I count this small pence in her favour, who loses
far greater sums in all else. In most she is of an obstinacy of
belief Yr Grace's servant hath seldom encountered; as is seen in what
she declared of his Lordship's secret nature and character, which (Yr
Grace must know but too well) most signally denies all credible
knowledge; likewise in what she would hope of this bastard she
carries.

'Tis plain this borders upon, nay is, the rankest
blasphemy; yet to her it counts (tho' she did not, like a veritable
madwoman, claim full certainty) as not without plausible expectation.
Yr Grace may feel she is eminently prosecutable in this her claim, it
is most easy proven vile insult upon all decent religion. Yet time, I
doubt not, shall soon enough make sufficient example of her culpable
foolishness therein, and punishment for it of a kind her arrogance
may least bear; besides that I trust Yr Grace will upon reflection
agree, such a plainly impious assertion is best not published. Such
gross delusion of prophecy, 'tis well known, doth always attract its
adherents among the idle and credulous mob. Dogs the like are best
let sleep in silence; I need not to point out to Yr Grace what
further consequence might ensue were this most infamous one awoken,
and let run in the publick street. Such as she are far less dangerous
when they are common miscreants, the base dross of this world,
puellae cloacarum, than when brought to a specious piety.

I judge all of her religion here in this town
pernicious, and so also doth Mr Fotheringay, that hath had more
dealings with them, for though they honour in outward the civil law
they show no respect for it among themselves, nay speak of it as
tyranny and say it shall be overthrown in time to come. To all
argument of those that would remonstrate or dispute with them, they
are deaf - Mr F. says, as if they speak not a common tongue, and are
French exiles still among us. Wardley has been heard say so much:
that it is futile and nugatory to dispute religious matters with
ordinary Christians, for they are Turks in their ignorance and shall
be damned for it.

Mr F. has a spy among them, they are close watched,
and he tells me he shall act to prevent them so soon as good case be
found; the which he doubts not long in coming. But they are close
people, and bold in their own defence, Your Grace may adduce it from
this present case. Yet to our purpose, I do believe Lee, howsoever
misled, firm in this her quarrelling new faith. She refused Your
Grace's charity not as one that was notwithstanding tempted to take
it, but one who saw (may God forgive her) the Devil's money, and
would not have it, though offered in pity. That she is of strong
will, for all her sometimes guise of meekness, there is no doubt.
When Your Grace did say, upon his view of her, this was no ordinary
woman, he was as just as he is accustomed. I will add no more on her
account.

Your Grace did me the honour to say, this one week
past, that I should not hide my conclusions by reason of the natural
reverence I must harbour for his most eminent rank. I shall now,
though it be with the greatest reluctance, obey his wish; and tears
also must I weep, that the most probable truth I have come to should
be so bitter. Your Grace, I shall compendiate it thus: I may hope,
yet may not in reason believe, his Lordship still lives. This I must
ground not only upon that of which Yr Grace is already cognizant: his
Lordship's having drawn upon no part of his allowance nor revenue
since last he was seen in this world.

I take also into account the death of his man
Thurlow. Your Grace knows what devotion the fellow showed to his
master through all their lives together. I cannot credit he died of
his own hand by any cause except this: like the dog in human form
that he was, he knew his beloved master dead and wished to live no
more. It is true he did not as in most cases, he did not die in
melancholy at his master's side. Yet must I still assume that such a
death was what drove him to the most desperate end he than gave
himself. The place where his felony de se was done was well searched,
and in my presence, as I said. I fear now we were mistaken, I may
conjecture it passed thus, in brutal simplicity; that Thurlow saw his
Lordship die within the cavern; did then run from it in extremest
horror, as Jones did report; but did later, after the wench and Jones
was gone, and it may be not before the next morning, return there to
see what in his simple wits he would not believe he had first seen;
and finding there what he had most feared, his master's corse, did
inter it in that place, or more likely carry it as he could to some
place other we know not of; then only, that most direful task done,
did he run off, and hang himself in his despair. Upon this conjecture
must I alas hazard further, which I shall come to, as to reason for
his Lordship's death.

To this must be added what is proof only by negation,
yet must grow in strength with passing time; to wit, no word is heard
of his Lordship since the dark first of May, neither of his then
taking ship nor of his being now settled in some foreign city. It may
be

said he was most able to embark in secret, perhaps
from some port other than Bideford or Barnstable, and where we have
not enquired; and may now live in equal secret where he went. Why
then should he not take his servant? In such matters, where we have
no certainty, we must judge by probability. It may not, alas, ,be
said that it is more probable he doth now live in retirement abroad.
As Your Grace knows, not one of those our agents and ambassadors to
whom I have written on this behalf, hath made such answer as we
hoped.

Yr Grace's command doth now oblige me, if he will
thus far grant me my most melancholy supposition, to state how his
Lordship may have come to his tristfully ill-starred end. Yr Grace, I
would believe him foully murdered, if I might; by the hand of any of
those we know to have been there, I cannot; by hand unknown, again I
would believe, were there any evidence or probability to it. Yr Grace
knows as well as I, there is not; nor that Thurlow should not defend
him, were either such the case. Horresco referens, I am reduced to
this: his Lordship's death was self-given. In this Thurlow did but do
as in so much else, that is, did follow in his master's footsteps.

I will not repeat all in his Lordship's past Your
Grace knows better than I, and that has so often excited Yr Grace's
disapprobation and paternal distress; yet must I believe here we may
best ground explanation of what occurred last April - I speak not
only of those philosophical pursuits his Lordship has these last
years followed in such headstrong disobedience to Your Grace's
wishes; but more deep, in the most contrary spirit that allowed, nay
drove, his Lordship to indulge them.

It is but too well known from history such pursuits
may lead their follower out of the noble world of reason, of
commendable and useful enquiry, into the black labyrinth of the
Chimaera; into matters most plainly blasphemous, and as plainly
forbidden to mortals. I must believe now, this is what passed with
his Lordship. He did seek wickedly to pierce some dark secret of
existence, and moreover grew besotted by it, it may well be because
he could not accomplish his grand design, as is most often the case.
I do not say the account the woman Lee gave Jones is to be believed
exact; yet may it be nearer truth than what I am myself here told by
her. I do not say she lied knowingly in this; yet was led by means
obscure to credit the opposite of what was truly intended. Your Grace
will ask by what means, and there I cannot answer him, save I do not
doubt there was a natural proclivity in Lee that his Lordship had
observed, and did see also it might be made his tool, to further his
own ends.

Nor do I doubt as to the general drift of the grand
design. I will not weary Your Grace by adducing how much in his
Lordship's past must suggest there was ever in him some perverse
principle that drove him to deny what reason and filial respect might
have most expected him to believe - nay, not only to believe, but in
view of his most fortunate rank, to maintain and uphold. We have all
on occasion heard words and opinions from his Lordship's mouth that
offend both divine wisdom and its reflection in this world below - I
would say, the wisdom by which this world doth best conduct and
govern itself, its sagacity in matters civil and political. It may be
his Lordship felt a respect for his noble father which did most often
prevent him from speaking before him in his darker vein. Even when he
did, in other circumstance I have been witness to, I have heard the
ladies declare him a tease, no more; and gentlemen not find in him
beyond a fashionable cynic, who cares more for the mark he makes in
polite society than for his immortal soul. Even with those more
discerning in their censure, I have heard the blame for his views put
upon his being a younger son, and his holding a (but too familiar)
rancour thereat.

I may here repeat what Sir Rich'd Malton did remark
recently to me in London, upon the abolition of the Act against
Witchcraft, which was this: that tho' the old hags be counted gone,
there were impudent libertine philosophers enough to take their
place. There are many such in London, Your Grace, who make no bones
in professing to believe in nothing beyond their own pleasures in
debauch; that care outwardly not a farthing for Church and Religion,
nor King and Constitution neither; that would turn