A Match Made by Cupid (Harlequin Special Edition) (19 page)

Jace closed his hand in a tight fist to stop himself from touching her. From invading her physical space at a time she likely didn’t need it. “Are you going to go see him?”

Now she looked up. Her eyes were dark and haunted. Distant. “I don’t know.”

“Do you—” Jace cleared his throat. “Can you forgive me?”

Sighing, she closed the file. “I understand you did this because you care. So, yes, Jace, I’ll probably forgive you. Later. But damn it, now I have to figure out what to do about this.”

He ached—literally ached—to comfort her. “Can I help?”

“No.” The expression on her face clearly said he’d done more than enough in that regard. What she said though, was, “This one is on me.”

Then, with another sigh, she stepped out of his office and walked away. And all he could do was watch her leave.

“Over a year, eh?” Kurt plopped his elbows on his desk and frowned. “What about the lemon gal who took you out on her boat and tied you up?”

“Fiction.” Jace had waited until the end of the workday before coming to Kurt, wanting to be in his office in case Melanie returned. She hadn’t.

“And the snooty rocky road who met you at the door naked with a whip in one hand and a blindfold in the other?”

“Fiction, as well.”

Scratching his jaw, Kurt said, “Oh, I got one. What about the—”

“Fiction, Kurt,” Jace interrupted, not relishing the thought of going through every last column he’d written over the past year. “All of them are fiction.”

“That’s disappointing.” Kurt gave a tired shake of his head. “Maybe you should consider writing a novel, because if all of that was pure fiction, you’ve got some undiscovered talent.”

“It wasn’t that hard. I played the game for long enough that I had…plenty to draw from.” Jace cleared his throat. “But it stops now. It has to.”

Averting his gaze, Kurt said, “Ending ‘Bachelor on the Loose’ might not be in the cards. Not now, anyway.”

“Then shuffle it in. I’m dead serious here.”

“Ain’t that easy, Jace. Maybe in a year, we can talk about it.” Kurt strummed his fingers on the surface of his desk. “See, it’s like this…the
Gazette’
s no longer for sale.”

“Well, hell, Kurt. That’s good news.” And Jace was happy to hear it. “But that has nothing to do with this decision.”

“Good news, yes. Except the owners have hired a team of nosy-ass consultants. One of their tasks is to increase our, ah, visibility or some crap like that. They’re talking blogs, forums, all sorts of social-networking garbage that makes my head hurt.” Kurt returned his focus to Jace. “You and that damn column of yours are the star of their show.”

“Then the star quits.” Jace spoke quietly but firmly. He knew this would come as a low blow to his boss, but his decision was set. “I hate to do this to you, but I mean it. My life is changing and that column no longer fits with who I am or what I want.”

“You can’t quit.”

“I can.” Jace fished the resignation letter he’d prepared out of his jacket pocket and slid it across the desk. “There, it’s official. Four weeks’ notice is fair, and I’m happy to do that. But I’m done with the column as of now.”

Kurt glowered at the folded sheet of paper but didn’t reach for it. “You’re not quitting.”

Knowing this could go on for hours, Jace stood and extended a hand. “You’ve been an incredible friend and mentor. I respect the hell out of you, Kurt.”

“Sit your ass back down in that chair.” Kurt pounded on his desk like he was a judge and his fist was a gavel. “Give me a freaking minute to think about this, will ya?”

Jace nodded and returned to his seat, fighting the urge to smile. Quitting wasn’t a bluff he’d used as leverage, but damn, he’d far prefer to stay with the
Gazette
. “Take your minute. I don’t have to be anywhere.”

Kurt slouched back in his chair and closed his eyes. He stayed that way for a good five minutes, maybe longer. Long enough that Jace began to wonder if his boss had somehow managed to doze off. But then he opened one eye. “Do you have any issues with reprinting some of your older columns until I can find a new writer to take over?”

Huh. Jace hadn’t considered handing the reins to someone else. It was a good idea, though. A good compromise. “I’m fine with that,” he said slowly, “As long as the material is labeled as being reprints.”

Kurt opened his other eye. “What about writing a few transition columns to explain to your audience why you’re moving on? Say three, maybe four?”

“Two. They can appear in between the reprints and when the new guy—whoever that turns out to be—takes over.” The boss started to argue, so Jace offered, “I can maybe write a short lead-in to each of the reprints, as well.”

Kurt nodded and sat up straight. “We’ll need to come up with something else. Another column.” He rubbed his jaw with one hand. “Something that will interest your current audience—or a percentage of them, at least—and keep the owners happy.”

“I’m willing to discuss that. Have any ideas?”

“Only one, at the moment. I was thinking about this anyway, before you came in here with your demands,” Kurt said, his tone more light than gruff. “You and Melanie worked out okay, doing that Valentine’s Day piece, right?”

“Work went well, yes.” Jace leaned forward now, curious. “What’s the idea?”

“How about if you two keep this up? Pick a topic you disagree on, come up with some type of a bet—silly or serious, I don’t care, and run with it?” Sliding his chair to the left, Kurt grabbed a few sheets of paper he’d clipped together and flipped through them. “Would need a shorter format, and biweekly would be too often. Monthly would work well, I think.”

A shared column with Melanie? Jace let the idea sink in, considered what it might mean to work together on a consistent basis, as well as that the focus of the column would be, at the bottom of it all, conflict-based. First, though, he had to ask, “So I take it Melanie’s job is safe?”

Kurt appeared surprised. “She didn’t tell you?” Jace shook his head. “Yeah, her job is safe. She’s managing her column fine, and—” he waved the papers in his hand “—her work on this feature is excellent. I told her yesterday that she’s impressed me.”

Pride settled around Jace. He knew she could do it. “Good. That’s real good. So, about this idea of yours. I like it, but we need to run the whole thing by Melanie first.”

Now, Kurt fidgeted. “I already did. She said the same, that we’d have to run it by you. At the time, I was thinking we’d have to drop your ‘Man About Town’ column, not the other. You’re sure you’re done with that? Nothing I can say to change your mind?”

“I’m sure. But Melanie likes the idea of this new column?”

Kurt gave him an odd look, one filled with questions. “She does.”

Just that fast, Jace’s optimism returned. Foolhardy, perhaps. After all, Melanie had already proven her ability to keep work separate from personal. Her willingness to continue to work with Jace really didn’t mean a damn thing. Somehow, though, it felt positive. Like a step in the right direction. “If she’s good with it, then so am I.”

Kurt rubbed his hands together. “Then it looks as if we have a plan I can work with. Maybe you two can even start a blog. That should keep the consultants happy.”

“Sure.” Jace shrugged. “I suppose we could post updates about the current month’s bet and little extras that wouldn’t make it in the column.”

“Yeah, yeah. That’s good.” Kurt leveled his gaze with Jace’s. “So be sure to take a few photos on your date with Melanie. We’ll kick off the blog with the Valentine’s Day bet.”

Jace felt his brow furrow. “Uh…you mean the Snuggie photos, right? Mel won that bet.”

“No, no.” Flipping through the papers he still held, Kurt stopped at the last page. “She says right here, ‘While I began this assignment with the clear and unwavering conviction that I would never believe in the romantic version of love, I can now state with the same conviction that I am, indeed, a true believer.’”

“Give me that.” Jace yanked the pages out of Kurt’s grip, found the entry and read it himself. He shook his head and read it again. And then yet again. She was a believer? No. She was a
true
believer. He looked up, saw Kurt watching him with bunched-together eyebrows. “I, ah, she didn’t mention she’d changed her conclusion. I thought I lost that bet.”

“Well, you damn near gave me a heart attack.”

The way
his
heart was jumping around, Jace figured he might be heading down that road any second.
She believed.
“Sorry about that,” he mumbled.

Kurt picked up the resignation letter and waved it in the air. “Can we call this nonsense over with?”

“With what we’ve discussed? Yeah.” Today was Friday. Valentine’s Day a mere four days away. That was when the feature would appear in the
Gazette,
when Melanie would assume he’d see it for the first time. So…three days to plan his next move.

“One more question and then I gotta run,” Kurt said as he ripped the resignation letter in half and tossed it on top of his already overflowing trash can. With a half sad, half hopeful look on his hangdog face, he said, “Earlier in the year, you wrote about a gal who dressed up like Princess Leia, and—”

“Sorry, my man. Fiction,” Jace said with a laugh, though his mind buzzed with possibilities. “Complete fiction with a dash of almost-every-man’s fantasy thrown in.”

Kurt’s shoulders slumped and he sighed. “A downright shame, that’s what that is.”

Chapter Thirteen

L
ate Saturday afternoon, Melanie tossed her keys in her purse, grabbed the takeout bags of food she’d picked up on the way over and headed into her mother’s house. Slowly but surely, Loretta was emerging from her emotional solitude. Another few weeks, maybe a month, and she should be back to normal.

Melanie hoped so, anyway. Once she felt sure Mom had recovered, they were going to have a long overdue conversation. She needed to understand what drove her mother to enter one doomed relationship after another. More important, she needed Mom to understand why that behavior had to stop. For both of their sakes.

She entered the kitchen just in time to hear Loretta say, “That sounds good, Wade.”

Wade?
What in the hell was Mom doing on the telephone with him? Melanie placed the bags on the counter and went to the table, giving her mother a questioning look.

Loretta offered a faint smile in return. “Yes. Tomorrow at three. I’ll see you then.” She ended the call and turned toward Melanie, saying, “I thought we agreed you’d go out with Tara tonight. I really am doing better, sweetie.”

“Tara had a date. Better, Mom? Really?” Disbelief, shock and no small amount of anger flooded Melanie all at once. “Tell me I didn’t hear that you’re meeting Wade tomorrow.”

“You heard correctly. I am meeting him tomorrow,” Mom said evenly. “Why don’t you sit down so we can talk about this.”

“Sit down? No, I am not going to sit down.”

“Melanie Ann,” Mom said, her tone now sharp. “Sit down and we’ll talk about this.”

Fine. She sat down, centered herself by crossing her arms and strove for calmness. “Let me guess. He called to apologize. Probably told you that all the wedding talk sent his fear meter sky-high, but now that’s he had time to chill out, he realizes how much he misses you. He’s probably asked you for a second—no, make that a
third
—chance. How close am I?”

Her mother’s stunned expression seemed to state that Melanie was right on the money.

“Mom, please. Don’t do this again,” Melanie pleaded. “Don’t believe him. This is obviously a man who doesn’t know what he wants. And…honestly—” She stopped, shook her head. No, this wasn’t the time to get into
that
.

“First of all, it isn’t what you think.” Loretta closed her eyes for a beat. “I called him, sweetie. I asked
him
for another chance. Because he deserves it. Wade is truly a good, good man, and I am a fool for… Well, for a lot of things.”

Mom had asked Wade, the guy who dumped her twice, for another chance? And she was calling
herself
a fool? The same pressure that Melanie always experienced whenever her mother was in a relationship began to build. It crawled into her muscles, tightened them into hard knots and made her stomach churn with acid.

“No,” she whispered, her entire body shaking. “Just no. I can’t do this anymore, Mom. I love you. I always want to be here to support you, but I cannot watch you do this to yourself again. And—”

“It isn’t what you think, Melanie,” Loretta interjected.

“And,”
Melanie repeated, her voice growing stronger, “I can’t let you do this to
me
again. I have turned my life upside down waiting for your relationships to crash and burn. I make sure I have chamomile tea in the house all of the time. I keep your favorite bubble bath on hand. When you’ve been in a relationship for longer than a month, I don’t like to leave the house. Just in case something happens and I’m not there to help you.”

“Oh, dear.” Tears filled Loretta’s eyes. “I had no idea. I mean, yes, I knew to a certain extent that I was putting far too much pressure on you. But… Oh, Melanie, I’m so sorry.”

Melanie shook her head fast, her own tears flowing, unable to stop the words she’d kept bottled up for so long. “I almost lost my job, Mom. Because I was so sure that any woman writing me for advice must be in a crap relationship. Just like every single relationship I’ve seen you go through.”

Loretta’s expression crumpled into devastation. “I’ve done this to you? I never meant… Didn’t see what—”

“And now—” Melanie closed her eyes, thought of Jace and let the tears roll down her cheeks “—now, there is a man who loves me. A man who wants a future with me. A man that I believe is a good, strong, sincere man, and I am too afraid to take the chance. Too afraid to give him my heart after I’ve seen yours crushed so very often.”

“My God, I’ve…I’ve ruined your life,” Loretta said, every syllable soaked with tears. “I am a horrible mother. Darling girl, open your eyes. Look at me.”

“You are not a horrible mother. Not even close. But this…this aspect of our relationship has colored my view on…on men. On love. On what a woman can expect from a man.” Now, Melanie opened her eyes. Seeing Loretta’s agony, she wrapped both of her hands around her mom’s. “You are not a horrible mother,” she repeated. “But this…this has to stop.”

Loretta gave a jerky nod. “Yes. This has to stop. It never should have gone on for this long. I should have seen what my problems, my insecurities were doing to you. I should’ve seen that, Melanie.” She pushed out a breath. “I know that a child taking care of her mother is wrong, but somehow…I let it continue. Even though I knew better. Can you ever forgive me?”

Dropping her hold, Melanie dried her wet cheeks. Then, she did the same for her mother. “I’ve thought a lot about this. Listen to me, Mom,” she said when Loretta shifted her gaze. “I
know
that what this has become was never your intention. It’s only been us two for so long, with only each other to lean on. We fell into a habit that grew worse over the years, until the routine became set. The longer we stuck to it, the harder it was to pull back from. For both of us.”

“Oh, baby. Look at you trying to share blame that is all mine.” Loretta reached over and stroked Melanie’s hair. “You’re such an incredible woman, Melanie. Loving and giving, and I’m so proud of you. Do you realize that you have never, not even once in your entire life, let me down? And I am so ashamed for disappointing you. For letting
you
down.”

“It isn’t so much that. It’s… I worry about you.” Melanie shook her head as a bit of her prior frustration returned. “Like now. I walk in here, expecting to have a nice dinner with my mother, and I hear you making a date with the guy who just broke your heart. It hurts me when you hurt. So…can you please not see this dork again? Please?”

Loretta sighed. “Honey, Wade isn’t the bad guy in this situation. It’s me.”

“You’re going to have to explain that,” Melanie said cautiously. “He ended the engagement, correct?”

“Yes. But not until after I broke a promise and not until after he ascertained that I had no intentions on following through with that promise.” Loretta’s thin shoulders lifted in a shrug. “And he was right to do so. You see, I’ve had… Well, I guess the best way to say this is that I’ve had trust issues ever since your father left. I tend to sabotage relationships. Tend to look for trouble where there isn’t any trouble to be found. That’s what happened with Wade.”

“What do you mean?”

Another long sigh. “For this to make sense, I should just start with your father. If that’s okay with you?” At Melanie’s nod, Loretta said, “I loved him so very much, but you know that. You also know, though we haven’t talked about it much, that David and I married because of you. Because you were coming into our lives. But, Melanie, your father never loved me. He liked me well enough, but mostly he did what he thought was his duty.”

Melanie had always assumed that was the case, but this was the first her mother had ever admitted it. “Okay. A lot of couples get married because a baby is on the way. I…can see how he might feel that way.” And she could, but that didn’t stop the hurt from unfurling inside.

“When you were…oh, five or so, I think, he met another woman.” Loretta’s eyes grew watery again. Melanie hated that, but felt—no,
knew
—this was a story she needed to hear. “And he fell in love with her the same way I loved him. I didn’t know about her then, of course. David certainly didn’t share that information with me.”

“He
cheated
on you?” Why that should come as a surprise, Melanie didn’t know. It shouldn’t. Not from a man who later abandoned his family.

“Yes. For two years without my knowledge. I…I’m embarrassed to admit I never even suspected. He didn’t behave any differently, didn’t stop… Well, we continued to share the same bed. And he was still an attentive father. So I was blindsided when the truth came out.”

“How did you find out?”

“The best I can figure is that after two years of sneaking around, the mistress got tired of being a mistress. She gave your father an ultimatum.” Inhaling a deep breath, as if to fortify herself, Loretta continued, “Leave us—
both
of us, Melanie—or she was going to find someone else to marry.”

Melanie gasped. “How could she expect him to…to leave his child? To leave me?”

Eyes filled with sorrow met hers. Now it was Loretta’s turn to grasp Melanie’s hand. “I don’t know. But David came to me that night, after you were asleep. He wouldn’t look at me the entire time he talked, just told me he was done. That he loved someone else so much, he couldn’t imagine life without her.” Her mother’s voice wavered. “Told me he was leaving. Promised to send money when he could, which he did for the first couple of years. And…he left. The next I heard from him was when I received the divorce papers. In those days… Well, if a man didn’t care much for visitation rights, the state didn’t, either.”

Melanie shook her head, denying her mother’s words even as she spoke them. Processing this was difficult. She went from feeling sorry for the young mother Loretta had been, to feeling sorry for herself, to being angrier than she ever had before.

“Did he mention me?” she asked her mother. “Tell you to tell me he loved me? Asked you to take good care of me? Anything along those lines?”

Loretta averted her gaze. “Well, I’m sure he knew I’d take good care of you. And maybe he assumed I would—’

“Stop.” Bile twisted and turned in Melanie’s stomach. “He didn’t, did he? He was with me for the first seven years of my life. That night, he left my bedroom after reading to me, came to you and ended your marriage, and then walked out the door without even one mention of me, his daughter. That’s correct, isn’t it?”

Loretta’s shoulders straightened. She tipped her chin to look at Melanie with the fierce light of mother’s pride in her eyes. “Your father’s actions were cowardly and stupid. Cowardly because he didn’t have the courage to stay in your life if he wasn’t going to be in mine. Stupid because he lost out on you. And Melanie, if nothing else, that should show you what a stupid, stupid man David Prentiss is.”

“This is why you’ve never told me this story, isn’t it? You didn’t want me to know that my father didn’t love me enough to even ask about me.”

“Partly. Also because I didn’t want you to think I failed you.” Loretta wiped her eyes with the palm of her hand. “Maybe if I had been enough for him, he would’ve stayed.”

“Don’t you do that, Mom. Don’t you put his failings on yourself.”

“I won’t if you won’t,” Loretta replied.

Blinking away the tears that had returned, Melanie nodded. “You have a deal. But now, I…don’t want to talk about him anymore.” Though, she knew she’d put more thought to this later. For now, though, she smiled encouragingly. “Tell me about Wade. How do you keep sabotaging relationships?”

“Just as I said. I look for trouble where there isn’t any. Because of what happened with your father, I only get so far in a relationship before I—” Mom paused, embarrassed, maybe, by what she was about to admit. “I expect problems. I expect a man to lie to me, to cheat on me. Though this hasn’t happened with every man I’ve dated. Some were actually jerks.”

“But Wade?” Melanie prodded. “You said you love him.”

“I do. Very much. When he ended our relationship the first time, it was because I accused him of sleeping with another woman. I was not very pleasant, Melanie. That scared him, the thought of tying himself to someone who couldn’t trust him.” Loretta swallowed. “But he realized how much he loved me, so he called. We talked. And when I promised him I’d get counseling, he proposed.”

“But you didn’t start counseling?” Melanie guessed. “So he ended the engagement.”

“Well, there was a little more to it, but that’s the basics.” Hope glittered in her mother’s voice when she said, “He still loves me, though. So we’re going to talk. And this time, if he gives me another chance, I won’t let him down.”

“I hope he does. I hope you get your happily-ever-after, Mom.” Standing, Melanie went to her mother and hugged her tight. “I love you lots and lots.”

“I love you, too.” They separated. Loretta patted the chair next to her. “Now, I want to talk about this brilliant young man who loves you.”

So Melanie sat down and told her mother about Jace. How he made her feel. How his eyes crinkled when he laughed. How he looked ridiculously good in a pair of jeans. Even how much she adored his family. Mostly, though, she shared the many different ways that he’d shown her his heart, his love.

By the end, when she’d said all that she could say, the fear that she’d carried around with her for most of her life shifted, changed and…floated away. Part of this sensation was due to her greater understanding of her mother and her father. Of all that had occurred.