A Match Made by Cupid (Harlequin Special Edition) (17 page)

Swallowing heavily, she met him at the door. He gave her a brief kiss on her forehead before carrying his armful of bags to the kitchen. The scent of spicy Mexican food wafted behind him, increasing the nausea already roiling in her stomach.

In the kitchen, he was unloading plastic containers onto the counter. Over his shoulder, he said, “I got a little of everything because I wasn’t sure what you liked.”

“Jace,” she said, her voice quiet. Tense.

“I stopped by my folks. When Mom heard you were itching for a chocolate cake, she baked one herself. Said if you like it, she’ll give you the recipe.”

“Jace,” she said again. “We need—”

He turned around and faced her, his brown eyes warm and concerned. “I know, baby. You’ve had a really rough day, and I want to talk to you about it. I want to know how your mom is doing and what’s going on with that. But right now, I think we should relax. Eat. Maybe find a horror movie to chill to. Give yourself a mental break before digging in again.”

Oh, God. All of that sounded so, so good. Almost perfect. But… “No, Jace. We…we need to talk. I need to do this before…before—” Before her heart wouldn’t let her. Before her stupid emotions overruled her brain. “Before my mother wakes up. She’s here, staying the night.”

The very air around them stilled as he watched her, as he listened. He shook his head slowly, his gaze intent, his jaw hard. “No, Mel. You’re tired. You’ve had a long day. This is not the time to be making that decision.” His eyes blinked shut for a millisecond, and he raked his fingers through his hair. “
Any
decisions.”

Now the air grew heavy enough that it hurt to breathe. “I can’t do this,” she said, her voice broken. “It isn’t in me. I thought for a little while that maybe it was, but—”

“It is, Mel. Please trust me on this. I see what we can be. I…
know
what we can be.” He held his hands out toward her, beckoning her. “If you’ll just step toward me and let me show you, you’ll see it, too. I know you will.”

The want to do so pressed against her like an invisible force compelling her to move forward, but she shook her head and took a physical step away from the impossible. Away from Jace. “I can’t,” she repeated, her mother’s devastation embedded in her memory. “I won’t. I don’t have it in me.”

“You do,” he said stubbornly.

“Don’t you get it?” Melanie worked to find words that he would understand. More to the point, that he would accept. So he would leave. Because, dammit, if he stuck around much longer looking at her with those eyes, she didn’t know if she’d have the strength to end this. And she needed to end this. That was the only way to be certain she’d never follow in her mother’s footsteps. “I can’t take the chance. The risk is too great.”

“What risk?” Frustration edged his voice.

“What risk? Have you not been paying attention?” Okay, now she was getting mad. That was okay. Anger was better than despair, and she’d take it any day of the week. “Two weeks ago, my mother’s life was wonderful. She was desperately in love and excited about her future with Wade.
She
believed that she’d found a man different from all the others. A man who wouldn’t hurt her. But guess what, Jace? She. Was. Wrong.”

Comprehension dawned. Pain—pain that
she
caused—whisked through his features. “Right. Got it. With no reason at all, you’ve decided that I’m no better than Wade or, for that matter, any of the other men in your mother’s life. That’s…nice, Mel. What the hell have I done to deserve that opinion?”

“I just can’t take the chance,” she said, hating herself for hurting him. “Besides, let’s be honest here, Jace. I was never more than a game to you. The one woman who didn’t fawn all over you or beg you for attention. In your eyes, I was a challenge. Nothing more.”

A mask slammed into place, shielding his emotions. “Do you really believe that?”

She swallowed, ready to push out the lie. Knowing that would be enough to send him on his way, but…she couldn’t. Instead, she went with the truth, which really was damning enough. “I did, yes. Now…now I’m not so sure. But I should be sure, don’t you think? I should be able to look at you and not have a question or a doubt about your motivations.”

“That would be nice,” he admitted, his tone almost resigned. “But I understand that could take some time. I don’t mind waiting. I don’t mind proving to you one day—one
step
—at a time that you can trust me.”

Damn him for throwing her words back in her face. Tired now and craving solitude, she settled her gaze on his. “I don’t want to trust you. I don’t want to put my faith in anyone but myself. That is the only way I can be one-hundred-percent certain that I won’t be let down.” She said the words calmly, firmly. Her voice didn’t waver or quake. But her heart shuddered with the loss of what could have been. If she was stronger, braver.

If it was in her to take a chance. “I’m sorry, Jace. I really am. But this truly is an ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ decision. I need you to accept it.”

A long minute, maybe two passed. “I don’t know that I can.”

“You have to.”

He leaned against the counter, as if needing the support, and pushed his thumbs into his jean pockets. “I love you, Melanie. Have from the beginning, I think,” he said, almost as if he were talking to himself and not to her, as if he were trying to work out this dilemma she’d presented him with. “So no, I don’t think I can accept this. But it’s obvious you need some space, so I’ll give you that.”

He
loved
her?

Shoving himself off the counter, he walked over to her. Using his fingers, he tipped her chin up, so she had no choice but to stare into his eyes. Eyes that beseeched her to change her mind, to give them a chance, to risk it all for…for happiness.

But she couldn’t talk. Couldn’t even begin to process his declaration.

“I love you,” he said again, his voice rich and deep and filled with layer upon layer of emotion. “And I’ll wait, Mel. So you do what you need to do. I won’t push, but I definitely do not accept your decision. Deal with it.”

“Y-you have to,” she stammered. “You are not king.”

“Nope.” Leaning over, he dropped a kiss on her nose. “But you aren’t, either.” He retreated, giving her space so she could breathe. “Do me a favor and eat the food I brought. Drink a beer and relax. Take care of yourself until you’re ready…to let me take care of you.”

Then he was gone, and damn if he didn’t take her heart with him.

Chapter Eleven

M
elanie sipped the coffee that Olivia had served at the beginning of the interview and tried to pay attention to what was being said. Unfortunately, with Jace sitting next to her on Grady and Olivia’s couch, that proved impossible. He looked so good, so real, and he was so very close to her. It was all she could do not to scoot over and lay her head on his shoulder, grasp his hand with hers and say, “Okay, you win. Please don’t break my heart.”

Of course, she couldn’t to do that. Because he
would
break her heart. Eventually. She didn’t see how a man like Jace would be content to stay with one woman for very long. Or, if a woman existed that could capture his heart forever, she wouldn’t be an ordinary woman.

No, she’d be the exception to the rule. Strong. Confident. Exquisite. And, Melanie admitted to herself, the most important trait of them all: courageous. A woman who wouldn’t question the gift that Jace was offering or worry about what the future might hold. She’d accept his love, give hers in return and cherish every day they had together.

In other words, a woman who wasn’t Melanie.

She stole a sidelong glance at Jace, who was leaning forward, focused on whatever Grady was saying. It had been ten days since the night in her kitchen, when he’d declared his love, when he said he’d wait…that he’d give her the space she needed.

He’d been true to his word. Other than those deep, almost penetrating looks filled with unasked questions, he hadn’t pushed, hadn’t expressed impatience or frustration. In fact, other than asking Melanie about her mother, he hadn’t so much as tiptoed into even a hint of the personal. Most of the time, she was grateful for his control.

Other times, she wished he’d do something, say something, that would prove she hadn’t imagined Sunday night. That she hadn’t simply dreamed Jace Foster telling her that he loved her.

Crazy, that. Contrary, too, she knew.

But she’d spent every waking minute of the past ten days either at work, working at home or helping her mother process her broken engagement. Melanie couldn’t remember a time she’d ever been this exhausted, so if every now and then, especially in those moments before she fell asleep at night, she wished for what she could never have… Well, that could be expected.

At least, that was what she told herself.

Fighting back a yawn, she forced herself to sit up straight and focus on the conversation going on around her. This was their last interview, though they had a few follow-up meetings set for tomorrow and Friday. Then they’d have to get to work on actually finishing the piece.

“For us,” Grady was saying, “there was never any doubt that we love each other. It was…understanding that we were different people, that we needed to come to grips with losing Cody in our own separate ways. My process wasn’t hers, and hers wasn’t mine.”

“But you refused to give up,” Jace said. “Even when Olivia insisted on divorce. So, from where I’m sitting, that means you had enough faith in your feelings—hell, in
her
feelings—to stick it out. That had to have been difficult, especially with—” he tossed Olivia a teasing grin “—her, ah, stubbornness.”

Melanie blinked as Jace’s statement hit. Olivia and Grady had almost divorced? They seemed so solid, so…true in their devotion to each other.

Olivia laughed, apparently not offended by Jace’s claim. “My stubbornness doesn’t even come close to the mule-headedness of the Foster brothers.” Her gaze softened and warmed when she looked at her husband. “And thank God for that. If Grady had been any less stubborn, we’d probably be divorced by now. Living separate lives, and we would be miserable.”

Asking the first question she had all afternoon, Melanie said, “How did he change your mind? I mean, divorce is a hefty decision. You must have thought it was the right way to go.”

A ruddy flush darkened the angled line of Grady’s cheeks. “I tricked her. Came here one night and told her I was moving back in until a judge told me I had to move out. When she put up the fuss I knew she would, I offered her a deal.”

“Six weeks with no mention of the word
divorce
and four dates,” Olivia inserted. “I was…angry. But,” she admitted, “intrigued, too. So I agreed. And in those four dates, he reminded me of how—when—we fell in love, of how amazing we were together. Even more important, he taught me that I could think of our son, of Cody, with happiness. That missing him and being sad about our loss didn’t mean his memory couldn’t bring me joy, as well.”

Grady took his wife’s hand. “It was rough, and I worried the whole time I was pushing her too hard. But I couldn’t not push, either. Not when I believed with everything inside that we are meant to be together.”

“Stronger together than apart,” Melanie mused, thinking of the words that Doreen Breckenridge had used to describe marriage. Well, not just marriage, she supposed, but relationships in general. “That’s beautiful. I’m glad everything worked out. I can’t imagine you two not being together, to be honest.”

“Thank you, Melanie,” Olivia said quietly. “We can’t imagine it, either.”

Grady started talking about the baby and various names they were considering, depending on if they were having a son or a daughter. Olivia shot down his joking suggestion of “Horatio for a boy or Millicent for a girl.” And when Jace suggested his own name for a boy or Jacey for a girl, Grady aimed a throw pillow at his head.

Melanie smiled and pretended to listen, but in reality, her mind was spinning.

Here was a couple who’d survived a tragedy no parent should ever have to face. A horrible twist of fate that could have sent their marriage spiraling into collapse, leaving both of them brokenhearted. Instead, they found a way to bind together, to overcome, and yes—they were definitely stronger together than they would be apart. Not only because of the experiences that tied them together, but because of their…love for each other.

Love that very likely helped them heal in a way nothing else could have.
Love.
That sticky, temperamental emotion that had wreaked havoc in her mother’s life, time and time again, was alive and flourishing in this room. In Grady and Olivia.

Love didn’t have to be bad. Love could be freaking amazing.

Melanie turned her head to look at Jace. His gaze, steady and sure, met hers. There was want and hope there, like always, lurking in the depths of his dark-chocolate eyes. But she saw something else, something more. She saw…love. The love he felt for her.

Somehow, this moment was so much more powerful than when he’d said the words. Why was that? Why did she feel as if the floor had just dropped out from underneath her?

But then, she knew. With a surety that defied reason, she
knew
. Not only had she become a believer, but she’d managed to do the unthinkable. She’d fallen in love with Jace Foster.

And that realization… Well, it scared her more than anything ever had before.

Jace stared out Grady and Olivia’s living room window as Melanie pulled out of the driveway and sped off. Probably heading for her mother’s, if he had to guess. From what Melanie had said, Loretta was doing better but not quite back to her normal self. And knowing Mel the way he did, she wouldn’t leave her mother’s side until Loretta had fully recovered.

Exactly what he’d expect from Melanie, and only one of the reasons why he loved her. God, he wished he knew what she thinking. Feeling. He held on to his hope like a child might a stuffed teddy bear or a security blanket, figuring that she’d tell him again to take a hike if that was what she really wanted. She hadn’t, so he hoped.

“She’s gone, bro. Staring out that window won’t make her come back,” Grady said from behind him. “Oh, and Olivia says you’re staying for dinner. No arguments.”

“Sure. Dinner sounds good.” And it would save Jace from another long night of listening for the telephone to ring. Turning around, he said, “Thanks for the interview. It went well.”

Grady grinned and dropped onto the sofa. “No problem. Olivia enjoyed herself, and I’m happy when she’s happy, so all is good.”

Jace sat in the chair across from Grady and rested his head in his hands. “I’m miserable, Grady. Hell, if I’d known that love feels like this…like something chewed me up, spit me back out and then chewed me up again, I’d have run from Melanie the second I met her.”

“Nope. You would’ve done exactly what you’ve already done,” Grady said with assurance. “You’re not the type of guy to walk away from anything that’s important to you, and seeing how you’ve been bugging the hell out of me for advice almost from day one, I’d say that woman is mighty important to you.”

“Maybe. But this is hell on top of hell with another layer of hell thrown in for good measure. God, the waiting alone is enough to kill a man.”

“Then walk away now.” Grady spoke as if that were even an option. “Seriously, Jace. You never know what crap life is going to throw your way, so if waiting…simply sitting around on your lazy behind…is akin to ‘hell on top of hell,’ then walk away now.”

“Easier said than done. Do you know what this feels like?” Jace bit his tongue the second the question was out. If anyone would understand how Jace felt, it was his brother.

“Yup. In the words of my idiot younger brother, ‘That sucks, bro.’ Remember saying that when I told you Olivia asked for the damn divorce?”

“Yeah.” Jace sighed. “I was an idiot.”

“Yup,” Grady said again, with more than a hint of humor in his tone. “However, seeing as I’m partial to idiots, I’ll give you some more advice. As I said, you can walk away. Or you can use this time to show Melanie that she won’t lose by choosing you. Give her a reason to choose you by living up to your word. Which I believe, based on what you told me, includes—”

“Waiting.” Jace groaned. Damn his brother for being right. “You’re a jerk.”

“Yeah? Well, so are you.”

There were flowers sitting on Melanie’s front porch. Red roses, to be exact. Judging by how fresh they looked, they couldn’t have been left out in the cold February air for very long. Melanie stopped, pivoted and peered down the street, thinking she might see Jace’s orange car. Because of course, they had to be from him. But no, not even a glimmer of orange in the distance. Oh, well, what had she thought—that he’d drop off the flowers and then park in the street until she came home to get them?

Maybe. Maybe she even wished he had, because coming to terms with her…feelings for him had put her in a state of numbed limbo. She couldn’t move forward, didn’t know how or if she even should. Yes, there were couples like the Breckenridges, like Grady and Olivia, and even Geoffrey and Veronica. Couples who were able to beat the odds and forge a life together.

But then she’d look at her mother, at everything Loretta had gone through in the name of love, and fear stopped her cold. Particularly when the man Melanie loved was known for his wild ways, for his ability to charm women with barely a flutter of his sinfully long eyelashes. Not fair, she knew, especially with everything he’d tried to show her, but would she ever really be able to trust him?

So, yes, maybe she wished that he’d push his way into her life again. Make her take the road she was so afraid to travel. And the flowers, as beautiful as they were and as sweet as the gesture was, wouldn’t be enough to propel her into action.

Holding back a sigh, she unlocked her door before picking up the flowers. Their heady fragrance swirled around her as she walked inside. They
were
beautiful. Setting them down on her coffee table, she took off her coat and deposited her belongings on the couch. Then, and only then, did she snatch the tiny card from its plastic holder.

Her traitorous heart did a little dance as she opened the card, as she read the words that Jace had written: “I’m still in your corner, Mel. Always will be. Love, J.”

God, this man…he seemed to know her so well. But did she know him?

That was a question she’d asked herself repeatedly, especially over the past few days. They’d spent a lot of time together recently, much of it sequestered in his office going through their notes, talking about the interviews they’d completed, editing each other’s work. He hadn’t lied back in the beginning, when he said he considered them partners. Every step, every decision on the Valentine’s Day feature had been theirs. He trusted her opinion.

Heck, he trusted
her.

And she wanted to trust him. Sometimes, she even thought she could. But she still couldn’t reconcile the man behind “Bachelor on the Loose” with the Jace Foster she’d fallen in love with. Unfortunately, this past Monday’s edition of the
Gazette
had served to muddy those waters even more. On the one hand, there was this guy who admitted to his womanizing, player status every other week, in columns that were barely rated PG-13. Often, she actually felt ill reading between the lines…extrapolating what
really
took place based on what he’d actually written.

On the other, there was the man who’d written an article about the aching loss of his nephew, about how Cody’s death had affected every nuance of his and his family’s life. He’d given statistics on drunk driving, on the number of lives claimed every year, but those were just cut-and-dried facts…or should have been. But no, the article Jace wrote took those numbers and put faces behind them. Put love and life and loss behind them.