A Matter of Choice (23 page)

She sat on the settee and slowly turned her glass in her fingers. She took a small sip, then eyed the duke with a cold expression meant to hide her fear. The duke may be teetering on the brink of madness, but he was still a wily, crafty man—much like her husband. Someone to be feared. She recognized the signs. Had lived with them too many years not to.

“Paxton and I met in Paris,” she said carefully. “I was on holiday and he was there on business. We met at the home of mutual acquaintances, Monsieur and Madame DeVaneaux.”

“I don’t think I ever heard Paxton talk of them.”

“They are both, unfortunately, deceased.”

“I see. I’ve often wondered though, Lady Paxton, how—“

“I fail to see how Paxton and I met is of any significance, Your Grace.” A prick of unease pinched the nerves at the back of her neck. The desire to have him gone intensified. “If you will excuse me now.” She rose to her feet and placed her glass on the table. “I have several engagements tonight and am running late.”

He made no move to leave but leaned back into the settee and leisurely drank his brandy. “I recently met an acquaintance of yours, Lady Paxton.”

“I have many acquaintances.” She took her first step to the door.

“But this is someone who claims to have known you in your childhood.”

Her footsteps faltered.

He was lying. He had to be. She’d had no childhood. She’d grown up in a… “Really?” She slowly turned. Tried to pretend indifference.

“Yes. A very unusual woman. She claims she is your—”

Her heart skipped a beat and she moved toward the door. “You are welcome to stay and finish your brandy, but you’ll have to excuse me, Your Grace. I have to get ready—“

“An extremely attractive woman with hair the same color as yours. It’s amazing how the two of you resemble one another.”

Waves of panic surged through her. Heaven help her.

“Her name is—”. He stopped. “But you know her name, don’t you? She claims you are as talented as she.” He bellowed a crude, disgusting laugh. “By God, but Paxton was a lucky man.”

Serena slowly closed the door and stepped back into the room. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t have found out.

But he had.

“What do you want?” She turned to face the man who possessed the power to destroy her.

“In exchange for my silence, you mean?”

“Yes.”

His lips curled to form a cruel, sardonic grin. “I want the Marquess of Montfort. I want him destroyed.”

Her heart skipped a beat. “You can’t be serious. He’s your son.”

“No!” He threw his empty glass against the wall. “He
killed
my son!”

Shards of crystal shattered around her and she turned her face to avoid being hit.

“I want him destroyed. And you are going to help me ruin him.”

She shook her head but knew her refusal was useless. Even though she had nothing with which to bargain, she had to at least try. She couldn’t let him hurt Montfort without trying to prevent it from happening.

“And if I refuse?”

“Then I tell the
ton
my startling news. I’m sure they will find it as...interesting as I did.”

The blood drained from her head, leaving her weak and lightheaded. She’d come so far. She couldn’t allow this crazy, demented imbecile to ruin everything for her.

“How did you find out?” Her voice spoke barely above a whisper.

“Your late husband told me.”

“That’s a lie. Paxton would never have told anyone.”

“But he did, my lady. One night when we were both feeling extremely despondent. I had just lost my son. And you were spending an inordinate amount of time with some handsome, young French nobleman.”

Serena knew the exact time he was talking about. Her indiscretion with Jordan nearly destroyed all she’d worked for.

“Anyway, Paxton vowed he didn’t need you. He let slip where he’d found you and insisted we go there to…renew his acquaintances. He said your former establishment would cheer us both up. He boasted that he was on familiar terms with a number of the…inhabitants. One in particular.

“We’d both had far too much to drink, but Paxton was worse. One thing led to another and… Well, you know how he was when he drank. He was quite angry with you. His tongue became quite loose.”

Serena felt a cold chill. Ashbury could ruin her. If anyone found out where she’d come from, what she’d been, the life Paxton had taken her from, she’d lose everything.

Her mind reeled. She had to make a choice. She’d endured too much to get where she was to lose it all now. This was her life, what she’d always dreamed of having: the balls, the parties, the attention. Being the Countess of Paxton and having the prestige and influence that went with it. She’d never survive if she lost it. Never.

“Why haven’t you said anything before?”

“There was no need—until now.”

She looked at the malevolent grin on his face and realized with appalling alarm that Ashbury would not hesitate to ruin her if she didn’t help him destroy his son. She braced her shoulders and stood brave against the evil he carried. With devastating clarity, she knew she had no choice. Destroying Montfort was the only way to save herself.

“How can I be assured you will keep my secret even if I do help you?”

His lips lifted in a mocking grin. “You can’t.”

She stared at him a long time before she spoke, her insides roiling with a hatred so intense it almost made her ill. “Then I will give you this promise, Your Grace.” She took a step closer and faced him as if she were facing her worst enemy. Because she was. “I did not grow up where I did, and survive the life I did without acquiring some valuable skills. If I hear even one whisper that questions my past, or if you ever threaten to blackmail me again, I’ll kill you.”

Ashbury blinked in surprise.

“Yes. You heard correctly. I will kill you.” She smiled. “And take great pleasure in doing so.”

He stared at her with a dumbfounded look on his face as if he were trying to digest her words. After a long, uncomfortable silence, he threw his head back and roared with demented laughter. “You have nothing to fear, Lady Paxton. I will never breathe a word concerning your past. Nor will I ever ask another favor of you. Once Montfort is destroyed, there is nothing else I will ever need.”

She stepped away from him. She was not at ease being in the same room with a man so evil. She walked to the settee and sat in stoic silence while the duke explained her part in the plan he’d devised to destroy his son.

She felt ill. She’d done many things in her life she wasn’t proud of, but never had she intentionally set out to be so cruel. Never had she purposefully determined to cause such pain, especially to someone for whom she truly cared.

By the time Ashbury finished detailing his plan of destruction, Serena visibly shook. A part of her wanted to stand up to him, tell him she refused to have anything to do with his vile scheme. But she couldn’t. She wasn’t brave enough to lose everything she had.

“Get out,” she said when he finished outlining her part in his devious plan.

“But—“

“I said, get out! And don’t ever come near me again.”

“As you wish.” He bowed politely if not a little unsteadily, then walked to the door. “I will wait to hear when the deed is accomplished.”

Simpson was there, waiting to escort the duke out.

She stared at his back, anxious to have him gone. She clasped her hands around her middle and prayed she could hold on until he left before she became physically ill.

“Oh, by the bye,” he said, stopping on the other side of the door. “Your mother sends her regards.”

Joshua braced his right arm
against the window frame and stared out into the early evening sky. Allie and he would leave soon for the opera, then return here afterwards for a midnight supper. It had been a little more than a week since they’d made arrangements. A little more than a week since she’d seen him on the terrace with Lady Paxton. A little more than a week since he’d noticed the subtle changes in her.

Let me be enough.

She’d whispered these words the first time that night when they made love. There’d been a desperation to her plea, but he hadn’t paid as much attention as he should have. He’d been too wrapped up in his passion. Too consumed in pleasuring her. In finding pleasure himself.

Remembering the way she touched him, held him, clung to him even after they’d both found their release caused his body to react even now.

Please, let me be enough.

He’d heard her words again last night, barely a whisper she probably didn’t know she’d spoken aloud. Only this time there had been a ‘please’ at the front. As if she directed her entreaty to a higher power. As if her request was a prayer she wanted God to answer.

Please, let me be enough.

Did she think she wasn’t? Did she doubt he was content with her? A niggling worry settled in the deep recesses of his mind. Surely, she didn’t. Surely she knew Lady Paxton meant nothing to him.

His blood ran cold. He knew her greatest fear. Knew the crushing blow it would be if she thought he’d been unfaithful. Knew how much she feared having a husband who would flaunt his affairs before the world and prove his disregard for her. What could he do to make her believe nothing had happened between Serena and him?

He spun around, filled with the most urgent need to rush to her and assure her she had nothing to fear. To take her in his arms and hold her and kiss her until she never doubted his faithfulness again. He took one step and stopped short.

She stood in the doorway, the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. An unsurpassable vision of loveliness and grace.

She wore a gown of the deepest emerald green, a perfect shade to enhance her coloring. The satin material shimmered in the glow of the lanterns, the unique design perfect for her slight figure. The décolletage was low enough to show off the rise of her breasts but not so low it was offensive.

She’d pulled her magnificent auburn hair loosely atop her head, leaving wispy tendrils of burnt gold to cascade downward. Vibrant curls touched the long curve of her neck and framed her face.

Her complexion was as pure as a porcelain doll’s and around her neck she wore the necklace of small emeralds and diamonds he’d bought on impulse just the other day.

Her eyes shone with a brightness that lit the room, and when she smiled, he feared his heart would burst with joy.

Let me be enough.

Surely she knew she was. Surely she knew how much he’d come to love her, and that he would never do anything to hurt her.

“My dear, Marchioness of Montfort.” He bowed formally, then closed the distance between them and grasped her hands. “You are, without a doubt, the most beautiful woman God has ever put on the face of the earth. How I was ever fortunate enough to have you as mine will forever be a mystery.”

“Oh, Joshua.” She leaned forward to press a kiss to his cheek. “I am the one who is fortunate.”

When she pulled away from him, he noticed a faint dampness in her eyes. He kissed each eye lightly and vowed she would never shed a tear on his account. That he would make sure her eyes were only filled with laughter and joy.

He checked the time on the mantle clock. They were still early. “Would you like a glass of wine before we leave?”

“I’d love one. It’s been a harried day.” She smiled. “But I think everything is ready for our guests.”

“You didn’t mind that I suggested returning here, did you?” He handed her a glass of deep red burgundy wine.

“Not at all. I’m glad you suggested it. Really.”

He sat down on the settee beside her. She moved her voluminous skirt, then turned to face him.

“How soon can we go back to Graystone?” She reached for his hand and held it.

“You are tired of life in London?”

“A little. But mostly, just selfish. I had such a wonderful time when we were there before. I miss it.”

“So do I. But we can’t leave just yet.”

“Because of your father?”

“Yes.”

He got to his feet and stood with his back to her. This afternoon he’d had a long meeting with his solicitor, Mr. Graham, and Mr. Nathanly, his father’s solicitor. Nathanly feared the duke and at first was hesitant to agree the duke’s behavior was out of the ordinary. Eventually he admitted his concern.

Upon prompting from Mr. Graham, Nathanly admitted that the duke’s prime purpose had been to bankrupt every piece of property that would eventually pass down to Joshua. He intended to leave Joshua so destitute he wouldn’t be able to afford the upkeep on anything, so all the properties he could not sell would crumble around him. Especially Graystone.

It had taken quite a bit of talking, but eventually Nathanly agreed that the Duke of Ashbury was indeed unstable and needed to be placed someplace where he would be taken care of. If not for his own protection, then for Joshua’s. And even Lady Montfort’s.

The moment the solicitor mentioned Allison’s name, a cold wave of panic washed over him. In his next breath, he informed both Mr. Graham and Mr. Nathanly he wanted to begin proceedings immediately to institutionalize his father. Not in Bedlam or any of the public institutions, but at some private hospital where he would receive only the best of care.