A Matter of Sin (15 page)

“Oh yes, I think I’ve found exactly what I need tonight,” he murmured as he held the book out to her.

She glanced down and saw that the chapter was entitled “Taking Control”. The first few sentences explained that a lady wasn’t required to lie there and only receive what her lover gave. The author suggested that a woman could—no,
should
take and give on equal ground.

She blinked and hoped her uncertainty wasn’t written all over her face. “Very well. So you wish for me to make love to you.”

As he nodded, she reached for the book in the hopes it would provide more details and suggestions for such an act, but he held it out of her reach. Panic filled her as she tilted her head.

“I realize I said I was uncomfortable speaking about my previous experiences with Hartley, but Seth, I have never done what that book suggests.” Heat flowed to her cheeks. “I-I wouldn’t know how to begin to please you and I—”

He reached out and his finger covered her lips. “Oh, Isabel, I don’t believe that for a moment.” His voice softened, becoming hypnotic and erotic. “You are a sensual woman, as responsive as I’ve ever seen. You have been tamed by what you were taught was proper…but there is something wild within you. I think if you let that wild thing free at last, you’ll know
exactly
what to do.”

Isabel could scarcely breathe as she stared at Seth. He was so certain in his words that she began to believe he might be right. She
had
often experienced erotic thoughts and fantasies that she squelched.

What if she no longer did that? What if she allowed herself every fantasy and demanded satisfaction in return?

She didn’t speak, but instead reached out. Her fingers tangled in the neatly tied cravat still at her lover’s throat and she pulled the knot loose with one twisting motion. Tugging, she freed his shirt buttons one after another.

He chuckled. “You see? You undress me with no trouble.”

She almost laughed. She was beginning to enjoy this moment of control after a lifetime of doing what was expected of her.

“Shh,” she demanded, then silenced Seth by pulling his head to hers and smashing her mouth to his.

She was no fool. Seth was far stronger than she. At any moment he could have taken over, taken charge, ended the fantasy and begun another most pleasurable one. But he didn’t. He put his arms around her to hold her, but the embrace was loose, he never overpowered her.

Her boldness increased with his reaction and she tugged his open shirt away from his shoulders. While the fabric fluttered away to the floor behind him, she stared at what she had revealed.

Great God, he was as beautiful as she remembered from the previous night, something she had told herself again and again couldn’t be true. But he was sculpted with muscle, toned by riding and fencing and whatever other activities separated the idle rich from the active.

She drank him in, mentally sketching a portrait of him this way so she would always have it with her.

“What now, Isabel?” he whispered.

She looked at him with a half smile. “Oh, I don’t hesitate because I don’t know what to do with you.”

Her confident words seemed to arouse him for the hardness that already pressed against the front of his fitted trousers bloomed larger.

“Oh no?” he asked.

She nodded. “I hesitate because you are beautiful and I enjoy appreciating it.” She laughed as she added, “
And
torturing you just a bit.”

He smiled. “You are doing that. But it is a sweet torment.”

“Yes, I know, for unfortunately, the result is a torture of myself too,” she whispered as she pushed him toward the bed. He fell across it with no resistance and propped himself up on his elbows to look at her.

She couldn’t stand it anymore. With a shiver, she parted her own gown across the front and pushed it aside. Her chemise and drawers quickly followed and she stood before him, completely naked and with none of the shyness she had once possessed.

His erection was more than obvious now, and she smiled at the faint expression of discomfort on his face. Slowly, she stepped to the edge of the bed and opened the first button of his fly. Each successive button was more difficult to loosen, for the evidence of his arousal had tightened the fabric significantly, but finally she managed to open them all and part the trouser waist to free his cock.

The previous night she had been too caught up to really examine him, but since Seth wasn’t pushing her, driving her, distracting her with his touch she now had more time to look at the instrument of their mutual pleasure.

Although they had been married for many years, she had only seen Hartley in this state a few times. He had been a modest man. A gentle lover, but never a very passionate one. He had never encouraged her to touch him more than a few times.

But she was
driven
to touch Seth. She watched as her fingers extended toward him, almost without her permission and then closed around the base of his thick member. He was silky smooth, but hard as iron and when she stroked him in one smooth motion, Seth’s back arched. He released a sighing, garbled groan that filled Isabel with arousing triumph.

“You see,” he said on a panting breath as she repeated the motion. “I told you that you would know exactly what to do.”

Isabel smiled as she pumped her fist up and down his length, testing how hard to grip, how fast to slide her fingers around him. She judged his reactions with as much intensity as she would have while teaching herself any other skill.

But this was a far more enjoyable learning experience than any she had attempted in the past.

“Great God,” Seth finally exhaled as he caught her wrist to stop her. “Much more of this and I shall spend.”

Isabel’s eyes widened. “I-I could do that with just my touch?”

“Your touch, your mouth, even your words,” Seth said as he met her eyes. “But I much prefer finding my release by filling you, pleasuring you.”

Isabel shivered as she looked down at the bed. Now she wanted to lay with him, to let him fill her the way he had described. Only his position across the bed left her no room to join him.

“You look troubled,” Seth said, drawing her closer with a tug of her wrist. “What is it?”

“I don’t know how to lay with you when you are sprawled like this,” she admitted with a shake of her head.

He laughed. “
You
are in control, my lady. Why not be on top of me?”

Isabel froze. She had heard of such a thing, even seen one brief glimpse of a drawing in the book that had been tossed aside a few moments ago. But she’d never done it.

“I—how?”

He stared at her for a long moment and then sat up. His hands came to her hips and gently he guided her toward the edge of the bed.

“Open your legs,” he directed as he pulled her even closer. She did so, feeling awkward and exposed by the position. “Now straddle me as if you were riding a horse in a most unladylike fashion.”

She stared, fully understanding now. If she straddled him, her sex would open naturally. His erection could fit inside of her and she could take him. Just as the book implied control, she would have it.

Gently, she lifted one knee and placed it on one side of him on the mattress. He steadied her as she repeated the action with the opposite knee and then she was over his thighs, her wet sex pressed to his hot flesh.

“Now slide forward,” he said, his tone low and gravelly.

After a brief hesitation, she did so. He maneuvered her with great care, and she felt the hard, hot length of his cock pressing to her as she settled into place. The feel of it had her on edge in an instant, longing to be joined with him with an intensity she feared as well as craved.

Seth stared up at her and glided his hands from her hips to her sides. He cupped her breasts, pressing them together as he rolled his thumbs around and around her nipples. She dipped her head back and sighed out a groan of pleasure.

Her sheath twitched wildly, wetting his erection with her excitement and desire. She wanted to move, she
had
to move and so she began to rub her hips against him, sliding her sex over him, grinding down against him as he sat up and pressed his mouth to her breasts.

“Oh God,” she grunted. “Please, please. I need you. I need you inside of me.”

He hesitated as he looked up at her, then he slipped his hands between them and they moved together until the head of his cock slipped into her weeping entrance. That was all she needed. With a cry, she pressed downward, taking him to the hilt with one thrust.

For a moment they sat that way, panting together, clinging to each other as their eyes met. With his face so close to hers and her body wrapped around him, it was an intensely intimate joining. Their breath was one, their gaze unbroken, she could even feel his heartbeat through his skin. It matched the erratic rhythm of her own. Emotion overwhelmed her as he returned his mouth to her breasts.

Seth seemed just as lost. He groaned as she rocked against him, his fingers pushing hard into her flesh and his neck straining.

“Oh God,” he muttered as he broke the embrace and lay back against the pillows to look up at her.

She tilted her head in confusion at the new position and his wicked smile was her reward.

“Ride me,” he ordered. “Take control.”

Her eyes widened at his repetition of the chapter title he had chosen from the naughty book. Control wasn’t something she had ever thought to want, but now she craved it. She pressed her hands into his shoulders and out of pure instinct, she rotated her hips over him. Pleasure washed over her, deeper and more insistent than ever before.

Without thinking, without questioning, she took him hard and fast. But finally, finally, her breath burst from her in a cry that echoed in the room and the orgasm she had been building toward took over with intensity and power.

He gripped her hips, forcing her to keep moving through her crisis. He lifted his hips in time to her erratic rhythm and his face contorted on the edge of release. She wanted that, she wanted to feel him pump hot and hard as he lost control.

“Seth,” she cried out before she covered his mouth with hers in a desperate, hungry kiss.

He roared his pleasure against her lips and then came, not away from her as he had done before, but by slamming his hips upward until he nearly thrust her off the bed with the force of his release.

She went limp and collapsed over him as he ceased his erotic movements. In fact, she was only barely aware as he slid them to a better position on the bed. She only snuggled against his shoulder, curling one leg over his with a satisfied sigh. She had nothing to say, nothing to question or fear. She could only soak in these moments, brief as they would be.

Seth wasn’t certain how long they lay in silence together after the earthshaking end to their lovemaking. Long enough that the moments blurred together. Long enough that it seemed like a blissful eternity.

Seth realized he should rise from the bed and they should return to reality. They were endangering their secret the longer they stayed.

But he found that being with Isabel like this, as much as through making love to her, was intoxicating. Addicting. And he didn’t want it to end.

He looked down at her in the dim light. Her breathing had grown heavier and her eyes were shut. He smiled as he realized she had fallen asleep in his arms. He couldn’t let her go now. They would lie like this, just for a little while.

What could it hurt to stay a little while?

Chapter Seventeen

“There is nothing more terrifying…or arousing…than the idea of being caught at something scandalous.”
—The Ladies Book of Pleasures

Isabel woke with great reluctance. She was so comfortable. In fact, she couldn’t recall being so content in a long time. But there was a nagging anxiousness behind her serenity. As if she had forgotten something and couldn’t for the life of her recall it. It throbbed in the background of her mind, waking her, keeping her from being completely at ease.

With a frown, she finally opened her eyes. For a moment, she didn’t know exactly where she was. She could see it was a small room, dim, though light was beginning to make itself known around the curtains. It was certainly not the chamber she had been residing in for the past few days. In fact, it reminded her of…

With a start, she bolted to an upright position. The gatehouse! She was still in the gatehouse, in the bed in the back room. And next to her…she glanced to her right with a whispered curse…next to her, Seth was sleeping.

She lifted the sheets to cover her bare breasts and then gave into temptation to look at him fully. He was lying on his side facing her, his breathing even and soft.

He was so beautiful in this state. And even though they had made a terrible mistake by spending the entire night in each other’s arms, it was nearly worth it just to wake up with him beside her. She could
almost
pretend they could stay this way.

She shook her head. What a foolish thing to allow herself to want, even for a moment. To distance herself from those desires, she pushed the covers away and got to her feet, gathering her discarded clothing as she did so.

Seth grunted at the noise she was making, then reached out to where she had once lay. When he didn’t find her after a few moments of blind searching, he opened his eyes. His bright gaze slid over the indentation where she had been with a confused blink. Slowly, he turned his face and stared up at her with bleary sensuality in the vivid blue of his stare.

“Good evening,” he murmured.

She smiled despite herself and the untenable situation that had been created by their slip. Damn, but he was a distraction. She shook her head and went back to dressing herself as quickly as she could manage.

“I don’t think it
is
evening anymore,” she said as she straightened her chemise. “I swear I can see the faintest light coming in through the curtains, but admit I have been too much of a coward to investigate further.”

Seth sat up at that. “What?”

She nodded as she stepped into her gown and began to button it with shaking hands. “Yes. We foolishly slept and now we are probably doomed to discovery, scandal, ruination…”

Seth got up and slipped into his trousers, but not before Isabel had a rather lovely view of toned backside and still-ready erection. Oh, how she longed to take advantage of his arousal. To stay in this bed with him all day long and explore every inch of his body.

Unfortunately, there was a world awaiting them outside. One that could never suspect their affair.

“The clock says six. Damn, this is my fault,” he murmured with a quick shake of his head as he examined the timepiece on the mantel across the room. He turned back. “I apologize, Isabel. You were so beautiful and peaceful sleeping. I should have woken you.”

She stopped dressing long enough to stare at him. “You watched me sleep?”

He nodded. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“N-no,” she stammered. “I don’t mind.”

They looked at each other for a charged moment before she shook off her starry reaction and said, “In the middle of the night, we are more able to sneak in and out of your home without detection, but now there are certainly numerous servants up and about. And even houseguests who might have risen early.”

Seth pursed his lips in thought. After a moment, he nodded. “You are right, but all hope isn’t lost. I’ll show you to a door that leads to a back stair. If you take that directly to your room, you’ll likely not be caught.”

Isabel nodded as she pinned her hair back up.
Likely not be caught
was not perfect, but it was better than certain doom. “Good.”

He took her hand as she slid her slippers on. “Are you ready?”

She looked down at their intertwined fingers. It was funny—as nervous as she was at the idea of being caught, as awful as that would be, she wasn’t frightened. Seth’s presence soothed her and the idea of sneaking into the house like a thief seemed more…
fun
if they were doing it together.

“Yes, I’m ready,” she forced herself to say as he stared with concern at her silence.

They moved to the front room and Seth quickly peeked outside. He sent her a brief, but comforting glance. “Stay behind me and follow my lead.”

Isabel nodded once and clung to his warm, strong hand as he darted out into the early morning sun. With certain steps, he led her around the back of the cottage where they had shared their trysts. Isabel couldn’t help a quick peek at the shrouded windows as they scurried by. The ones they were passing looked into the bedroom. Their hideaway.

She was so distracted by the images that realization created that she didn’t notice Seth had stopped until she crashed full-speed into his broad back.

“Oof!” he muttered as he turned toward her.

She blushed. “I’m so very sorry.”

“That’s all right, I rather like the feel of your body wrapped around mine,” he admitted with a wicked smile before he dropped his mouth to hers.

Isabel held still for a moment at the utterly unexpected kiss, but quickly melted under his expert touch. Damn, but the man did know how to set her on fire. Right in the open.

Where anyone could see.

She pulled back with a start. “Seth!” she whispered. “We are not safe here.”

“You are sadly correct,” Seth sighed. “But I find you quite irresistible despite, or perhaps in part
because
of, our precarious position.”

Isabel stared. He was not alone in that strange reaction. The intrigue they were involved in only heightened her awareness of the man. It was entirely unacceptable and yet…she found it rather exciting.

“We
must
get inside,” she insisted weakly.

“Absolutely.” He seemed to be steeling himself as he faced forward. “Around this next bend is our most dangerous area—the gardens. I’m certain there will be servants about, and if an early riser is amongst our guests, a stroll in the garden could be on their agenda. We must be careful.”

Isabel nodded, though she hated to admit to herself that her elevated heart rate was more from thrill than terror at the prospect. What was wrong with her?

She didn’t have much time to consider that question because Seth launched forward again, keeping her close behind him as they entered the twisting paths of the family’s pretty gardens. The area was arranged rather like a maze, with high walls of shrubbery and rose bushes that separated one path from the next.

Thankfully, Seth didn’t seem confused by the turns and took them with a certainty that Isabel had no choice but to trust. And perhaps rightfully so, because she soon saw a glimpse of a back door into the house, hidden along a low wall as they turned a quick corner. They were almost to safety.

Or at least more safety than the exposed garden pathway. And yet she didn’t feel relieved at that, but rather disappointed that their madcap little journey would soon be at an end.

“Blast!” Seth’s curse cut through her thoughts and Isabel froze.

“What is it?” she whispered.

“Two footmen, gathering flowers for the parlors,” he murmured. “They are directly in our path and will likely come this way.”

Isabel peeked around him and found he was correct. Two young men in smart uniforms carried baskets laden with roses and other blooms.

“What do we do?” she whispered.

“There was a gardener behind us,” Seth said with a frown. “So we can’t backtrack.”

“A gardener!” she burst out almost in full voice. She hadn’t even noticed him.

Seth nodded as he looked around. His face was only concerned for a moment before he smiled and indicated to their right. “Ah, there’s the answer.”

He didn’t explain further but just took her along a quick path toward a large oak tree that stood in the center of the garden. Took her
toward
the two servants!

“What are you doing?” Isabel whispered, panic clawing at her as she watched the two men move closer and closer.

“Shh,” Seth whispered. “Trust me.”

He positioned her against the tree on the opposite side as the men. He leaned against her, keeping their profile low, but also pressing himself to her in a way that washed away her fears and made her think of far more pleasant things.

She looked up at him. He was still staring around the tree, watching the servants. His jawline was terribly distracting when it was darkened by a faint hint of stubble.

“They’ll be a few moments more and then we should be safe to continue,” he whispered.

As he finished the sentence, he glanced down. When he caught her looking up at him, he swallowed.

“Bollocks,” he murmured, and then he was kissing her again. Harder, with more determination. His hands wound behind her head, sheltering her from the scratchy tree bark and maneuvering her into better position for his mouth and tongue.

Isabel was consumed by the flame of his passion, forgetting once more the precariousness of their position. She couldn’t help it. When he touched her, she was swept away. And she loved it. She loved forgetting her duty and just
living
! It was utterly divine.

But it was over too soon. Seth parted from her, eyes bleary and filled with desire, but then he looked around the tree again.

“Damn, as much as I was enjoying that, they’re past. We should keep moving.”

She nodded, unsteady as he took her hand once more and pulled her toward the door. With a few more steps, they reached it.

He sighed, as despondent at their arrival as she felt. “Go up, turn left and you’ll be in your hallway,” he explained softly.

She nodded as she began to turn away. She didn’t want to say too much or linger too long now that they were safe. But he didn’t allow her escape. Instead, he caught her arm as she moved to go and turned her back into his chest. Then his mouth was on hers once more, hot and filled with promise. She clung to him, returning his kiss with heat and desperation she couldn’t mask. When they parted, he smiled.

“Tonight, midnight,” he whispered as he opened the door for her. “And Isabel, it’s your turn to choose from the book.”

Isabel gave him a quick glance before she hurried up the back stair a few steps ahead. She was shaking as she turned into the hallway where her room was, taken aback by how easily Seth could make her want, but more by how comfortable he made her feel.

She couldn’t want that from him. From
this
. It was too dangerous to allow anything more than lust.

Blindly, she made her way down the hall and had almost reached her door when she heard the sounds of voices from another room. She hurried, but before she could escape into the safety of her chamber, the door across from hers opened and the servant of Lady Saunders stepped into the hall with a tray balanced on her arm.

Isabel froze, and so did the maid as she looked her up and down carefully.

“Lady Avenbury, are you well?” the girl finally asked when it seemed an eternity had passed.

Isabel just barely suppressed a curse. Everyone knew that Lady Saunders was a gossip of the first order. It had caused all kinds of strife in the past. And like all gossips, her servants were her main source of undercover news. If Isabel didn’t quickly think of a good excuse to be standing at dawn in the hallway in her ball gown, the girl would certainly make an issue of it and start rumors Isabel might never be able to squelch.

“Oh, yes. I was just…” She trailed off, her mind a blank. Until she recalled her promise to Grace the night before. “I was just about to join the Duchess of Jameswood for breakfast. You know how she always takes her food at the crack of dawn.”

“Oh.” The girl looked at her again, almost as if she was evaluating Isabel’s story for its merit.

Isabel looked down at herself. “I’m so silly in my fancy dress, aren’t I? My maid wasn’t feeling well and I didn’t want to wake her. This was the only thing I could find to put on. I swear, we women are useless without our help.”

The girl smirked in agreement. “It’s very kind of you not to want to wake your girl. If I can be of assistance, please don’t hesitate to ask me.”

Isabel smiled. “Lady Saunders is so lucky to have such an accommodating person in her employ.”

The servant blushed. “Thank you, my lady.”

Since Isabel could think of nothing else to say to deter the young woman, she nodded and instead moved toward Grace’s door. She clenched her teeth as she knocked on the barrier and heard her friend’s voice call for her entry within.

Shutting her eyes briefly at the thoughts of all Grace would say when she saw her in the same gown as she wore last night, Isabel pressed the door open and stepped into the protection of her friend’s chamber.

As the door closed behind her, Isabel looked around. In the dressing room, Grace was seated on the settee beside her fire. A tray of breakfast foods was on the table beside her, loaded with enough for both women. Her friend glanced up with a smile, but when she saw Isabel, her smile very slowly faded away.

The two women held glances for a long, charged moment and then Grace turned to her servant with a warm smile. “Maura, dear, you may go. Thank you.”

“Yes, Your Grace,” the girl said with a quick curtsey for her mistress and another brief one for Isabel as she passed by on her way to the hall.

Grace poured a cup of tea and flavored it just as Isabel liked it, but she did not speak until the servant had shut the door behind her and they were alone.

Isabel held her breath as she waited for the onslaught. Instead, Grace motioned to a chair beside her settee and said, “Won’t you join me?”

Isabel managed a weak nod and took the place beside her friend. She took the duchess’s offering of tea with only slightly shaking hands, but she couldn’t bring herself to drink it as she awaited Grace’s
real
reaction.