A McKaslin Homecoming (The McKaslin Clan) (5 page)

“You said she didn’t bite.”

“Mostly she doesn’t.” He winked.

Yeah, he thought he was so charming. Refusing to encourage such behavior, even if it
was
warranted, she lifted her chin a notch and carefully pressed the heels of her sneakers to Tasha’s sides.

The mare moved forward into a smooth walk. Yikes, it was not what she expected. It was a little like whiplash, but after a few of Tasha’s steps, Lauren started to get the horse’s rocking motion.

Wow, it wasn’t so hard. She threw Caleb a grin, ready to say “Look at the city girl now,” but she slipped to the side. Okay, maybe she was getting a little ahead of herself. She kept sliding and Caleb was there, taking her by the elbow to steady her.

“That’s right.” His grip was an unyielding support. “I won’t let you fall.”

She believed him. Of course, he was talking about her falling off the horse. But what surprised her was the part that wanted
to believe in a man. That there was a man in existence who would never let her fall. In any way, in any circumstance, ever. A surprise? Definitely. She didn’t know how that wish could have survived her childhood, but it had—just a little bit.

“See? You’re riding.” Caleb released her, although he kept Leo at Tasha’s side. “It took a few minutes and you’re doing great. What do you think of riding?”

“Fantastic.” She still felt as if she were going to topple off any second, but it was getting better. Her sense of balance was improving and if she relaxed instead of sitting board stiff, then Tasha’s rolling gait moved through her and they were in sync. Sure, it wasn’t championship riding, but hey, she hadn’t fallen yet.

Caleb, of course, sat astride like a pro. “Look at that sunrise. It heartens a person.”

Maybe that’s exactly what she needed. When she looked up—still trying to keep her balance and slipping a little—she’d never seen anything as breathtaking as the purple mountains rimming the horizon in every direction, polished with the sheen of the golden sunrise. It felt as if she’d landed
in a completely different world. Gone were the crowded streets and the search for a parking spot, the standing in line, the people, the noise and the traffic congestion everywhere.

Her troubles seemed just as far away, a distant memory. Working long hours on her feet. Studying late into the night. The thousand things to do she could never keep up on. Making her rent. Stretching every penny. Keeping up her grades for the scholarship she was on. She loved her life; but she hadn’t realized how good a vacation—a break away—could be.

“It is heartening,” she agreed. “It’s so grand, it makes you feel as if anything is possible. As if you’re a whole new person.”

“True. It’s a refreshing way to start the day.”

“I can see why you live here, even if there aren’t any malls close by.” She didn’t say more, but studied the roll of land and the amber, grass-scented air and the peace of the morning, as if she could find an answer there.

She felt how different she would have been if she’d grown up here, in this place of
wide-open spaces and horse pastures and Mary’s loving kindness. Caleb seemed so rooted, steady and confident and honest, all in a way that said he was at peace with himself and with his place in this little corner of the world.

She could not say the same, nor why this revelation made her sad on such a sweet, bright morning.

They approached the river winding through the meadow. Cottonwoods had dug into the bank and the horses stopped in their sparse shade.

She drank in the serenity. She’d never been near such stillness. It wasn’t the ocean on a clear morning, but this was grand in its own way. A sense of hope began to whisper in her soul like the breeze through the wild grasses. Yes, she definitely needed this trip, for more reasons than she could count.

“A week ago, I never would have imagined being in this beautiful place riding a horse. A
horse.
”

“It’s my kind of fun, but then I’m not a symphony-going, young-urban-professional kind of a guy.”

“There’s a lot to be said for cowboys.”
She tugged the brim of her hat a little higher. “Thanks for this, Caleb.”

“No problem. I don’t mind sharing my morning with a city slicker. As long as you don’t mind sharing yours with a country guy.”

That made her smile. “Not at all. Of course, maybe the real draw for me is the horse.” She flashed him a smile, gently teasing—something she never did. One of the reins slipped from her fingers.

“Let me.” He leaned in his saddle to rescue the leather strap. “You know, Tasha has taught more than one McKaslin sister how to ride.”

“Really?” Worry crept across her forehead and dug in along her rosebud mouth as she took the recovered rein from him. She was careful not to brush her fingers against his. “Which sisters?”

“Katherine, I know for sure. Aubrey, I think. I’m not sure about Ava. She didn’t have the best luck when it came to horses. And Rebecca, she’s the stepsister.”

“Because my dad remarried.” Shadows crept into her eyes and she bowed her head, the wide brim of the Stetson hiding the expression on her face.

“He married a nice lady with two girls of her own. The youngest is about your age, I think. You’ll probably meet them today.”

“Probably.” The knuckles on her hand turned white.

It had to be hard coming back, not knowing for sure if you were welcome. “It’ll be okay. I know it.”

Her hands remained tight on the reins. “From your lips to God’s ears. I’ve always wanted a sister in my life.”

“Now you have five of them, counting the steps.”

“I hope I like them. I want them to like me.”

His throat lodged tight. He couldn’t say why or what he was feeling, but he could read her earnestness. Maybe it was time for a change in subject to get her mind off her worries. “You see that house way over there on that rise?”

“You mean the only house I can see for what looks like miles?”

He chuckled. “It must seem that way to someone used to folks every which way you look, but my spread is about a quarter of a mile away.”

“You call that next door?” Gentle amusement brightened her violet-blue eyes. “It must have been nice growing up around here. Quiet, but nice.”

“There isn’t a better way in my opinion. All this open space. Lots to do. I was never bored.”

“Really?” Lauren tried to imagine what a person could do in all these grassy fields and forested foothills. No shopping, no theaters, no centers of learning. “I caught a glimpse of the city from the freeway and it didn’t look very big. What do you do for fun, besides ride horses?”

“Oh, like I needed to go into town to find something to do? Is that what you mean?” He quirked one brow in a challenge.

Goodness, had she offended him? “I was just wondering. I grew up with kids everywhere. There was always something to do, jumping rope or hopscotch or, when I was older, playing basketball or going down the street to the church’s youth center. That’s all. If you grew up here, it would be hard to step outside your front door and find enough kids to play a game of baseball.”

“True. But then, I’m not much of a
baseball player. Besides, what could be more fun than this?” He grinned.

He did have a point. Horses were pretty cool. “Why do I get the feeling that you aren’t as small town as you want me to believe?”

He knuckled back his Stetson. “I spent a few years out of state. Thought there weren’t enough opportunities here and, like most of the kids I’d grown up with, thought I’d find them in a bigger place.”

“Where did you go?”

“Seattle. It’s a nice city, don’t get me wrong, but the opportunities aren’t better, just different. You’ve got to decide what your priorities are and what you want. For me, I figured out that I liked this lifestyle. I didn’t want to trade it for better pay and more choices. Besides, if I want culture, all I’ve got to do is sit down with my volume of Shakespeare.”

“I can’t picture it. Maybe it’s the cowboy hat.”

“Maybe. What do you do to make a living?”

“I have an internship at a financial investment company. Of course that’s for no pay,
just school credit. I also have a job to pay the rent. I have a roommate and that helps cut some of the costs.”

“Sounds like you have a pretty busy life.”

“Sometimes too busy, but I manage to keep everything together, mostly. Until I get through my master’s program I’m just taking one day at a time with God’s help and being glad for that.”

“That’s pretty much what I do, too.” Caleb reined Leo around. His chest felt all wadded up and troubled, but he couldn’t say why. The morning was pure serenity and sharing it with a nice pretty lady was no hardship.

Maybe it was the lady. Maybe it was from trying to picture her student lifestyle. He knew it wasn’t an easy row to hoe. She was nice and that made the tangle in his chest ache a little.

As they headed back, he kept her in his sight. She looked lovely with the wind tousling her hair and the mellow golden sheen of the light falling across her like grace. Beneath the Stetson’s wide brim, her face shone with wonder and delight as she leaned forward to whisper something to
Tasha. Apparently pleased with the affection, the mare preened, and that knot in him yanked a little tighter.

The trouble was, he didn’t want to like Lauren. Not even a little bit.

She turned to him when they reached the white rail fencing, where they’d first started out. “This might be the best morning I’ve ever had.”

“Surely not the best.”

“At least that I can remember.” Lauren hated that the ride was over, but she knew Caleb had a work day ahead and she had—oh, thinking of it made her stomach clench into a hard fist, an equal mix of excitement and abject terror. Meeting her family. So much could go wrong, so much could go right. She was equally scared of both. One would make her mother right and the other, it was the unknown. She wanted a family. She also didn’t want to get hurt.

So far, so good, right? Maybe this morning was a good sign. Maybe the meeting will go so well, she would be glad she’d come.

Maybe, just maybe, it would change her life.

“I’m glad that you had such a good time.
You did a pretty good job for a city girl.” Caleb had slid down to the ground and was unbuckling Leo’s bridle.

“I didn’t fall once.”

“Better than I did my first time out. It would be my pleasure to give you another lesson tomorrow, if you’re up for it.”

“Are you sure? I’d love it.”

“Are you an early riser by nature?” Caleb hung the bridle on the top rail and came toward her.

“Mornings are my favorite time of day.”

“Mine, too. Good. Then we’ll meet thirty minutes earlier and go for a longer ride. How about it?”

“Sounds perfect.”

Caleb held out his hands and she placed her palms against his. So warm and unyielding. He helped her slide safely to the ground. Her feet hit the earth and she felt the jolt in her soul. In that moment, she saw understanding in Caleb’s dark eyes and sensed it in the air between them.

“You’re worried about these people you’re about to meet,” he said. “You’re afraid that they’ll let you down, too. That
they won’t want you, the way your mom didn’t really want you.”

“H-how did you know?”

“I lost my mom when I was eight. My grandparents raised me. And I know how there’s a place that’s always missing the love you should have been given. But it’ll be all right. Trust me.”

Standing in his shadow, with him towering above her so that he was all she could see of the world, she believed him. It seemed as if anything was possible.

Then he tipped his hat, like a Western legend and moved away. While he unbuckled Tasha’s bridle, Lauren tried to gather up the scattered pieces of her heart, not sure what she was feeling about this man, when the sound of tires on the gravel driveway caught her attention. A beige sedan was pulling up to the far side of the garage, to one of the outbuildings.

“Looks like you get to test out my theory.” Caleb gestured toward that beige car. “That’s one of your sisters now.”

H
er sister. Lauren looked at the slender blond woman climbing out of the car, a woman who had the same shade of blond hair, the same blue eyes and face shape.
Her sister.
Lauren’s heart stalled. As she stumbled forward, somehow her wobbly knees worked and she got through the gate Caleb was opening for her.

“C’mon.” His baritone was a comforting rumble against her ear. “I’ll introduce you to Aubrey.”

Aubrey. Her mind groped through a sudden haze. Why was Caleb’s nod of encouragement all she noticed? “Aubrey’s one of the twins?”

“That’s right.”

The woman—her sister—was hurrying her way. She’d left her car door open and it was dinging away; she must have left the keys in the ignition.

“You’re Lauren. You have to be. Right?”

Suddenly there was no distance between them and Aubrey had thrown her arms around her in a warm, welcoming embrace. Welcoming. There was no question, no judgment, nothing but honest acceptance. Lauren stepped back, swiping her eyes, her vision blurred. Her mother’s prediction and her own fears vanished, just like that.

Thank you Father
.

“I can’t believe this.” Aubrey held tight to Lauren’s hand. “You’re really here. After all this time. I never thought—” She took a gulp and there were tears in her eyes. “Welcome back to us. Do you remember me at all?”

There was an image, just beyond her reach, taking form and shape in the black places of her memory. A flash of sunlight reflecting off the side passenger door. The blur of the big round faces of the sunflowers hanging heavily, ripe with seeds. The flicker of the white picket fence that divided the
backyard from the alley. She remembered the sound of her own cries. A flash of children’s faces in the backyard before they’d been gone to her. “It’s all a blur. I wish I could remember more.”

“I have never forgotten you. I can’t believe this. I saw Gran yesterday at the bookstore and she didn’t say a word. Not a single word. When did you get in?”

“Yesterday evening.”

“She was keeping this secret! It’s a good thing I decided to come out bright and early and get some work done in my studio—I do ceramics—but like I want to do that now? I don’t think so.” Aubrey was tugging her in the direction of the kitchen door, all joy. “We are going to go surprise Gran right now. I want her to know her plan to surprise us with you has failed. Caleb, are you coming?”

Lauren realized he’d retreated, leaving her with her sister.
Her sister
. Aubrey held her so tight, there was no way she could escape even if she wanted to. After all this time on her own, spending holidays alone, she had a sister. Sisters. There it was, hope rising up through the dark void of her
memories. She held on to Aubrey’s hand a little more tightly.

Across the driveway, Caleb lifted his hand to his hat brim. “I’ve got to get to work. You two have fun catching up. Lauren, I’ll see you later.”

His gaze met hers and it was as reassuring as a touch. As if he was saying to her, “See, I told you it would be all right.’ And he’d been right. She should have had more faith in him.

She let Aubrey tug her up the porch steps and still she couldn’t look away completely from the man. Caleb was watching them, watching her, his face shadowed beneath his Stetson, his expression inscrutable.

The hinges of the screen door rasped and squeaked, and she tumbled into the living room behind Aubrey. Lauren lost sight of him then. But she didn’t lose the sense of peace and support he’d given to her.

A few hours later, Lauren leaned toward the front seats of Aubrey’s car and squinted through the glare on the windshield. There it was, the family’s bookstore. Her brother and younger stepsister worked there; they
were probably watching for Aubrey’s sedan through the long, windowed storefront. Aubrey had made the call from Gran’s kitchen phone to announce they were all coming. So more introductions were ahead. The weight of the past punched at her temples like a professional boxer’s gloves.

“I was so stunned I almost locked my keys in the car. Me!” Aubrey was saying into her cell as she pulled into a parking spot. Mature maples offered shade and relief from the blazing midday sun. “We’re here, so I’ll see you in a few.”

“Lauren, dear,” Gran said from the front passenger seat. “Don’t you worry about this. I hadn’t wanted to spring everyone on you all at once, but I guess the cat’s out of the bag.”

“I guess so, Gran. Don’t worry. I was going to meet them tonight anyway. This just gives me more time with everyone.” She was starting to feel optimistic. It was a new feeling and she liked it.

Lauren unbuckled her seat belt and noticed that Gran seemed to be having a little trouble with her’s. Lauren leaned forward to reach between the front seats and
over the console. “Do you need some help with that?”

“No, dear. It’s just that these buckles are all so different.” The older woman’s voice rang sweet and true.

Lauren watched the worry dig into Aubrey’s face and realized there was more going on here—and perhaps more to her grandmother’s invitation. Gran’s words came to mind again.
I wanted to meet you while I can remember
. Even if she was all right now, time took a toll on everyone. Lauren remembered the fragile feel of her grandmother’s arm in her own when they’d hugged in greeting last night.

I’m so glad I came, Lauren thought. Her own purposes, her own hopes for coming no longer mattered so much. This kind, gentle woman did.

So she hurried out of the car to open her grandmother’s door and offered a hand to help her out of the car.

“Why thank you, Lauren.” Mary sounded surprised, but pleased. “What do you think of our place?”

Lauren considered it while she closed both car doors. The front of the store
stretched across a wide expanse of tall windows that invited the eye right in. She saw colorful displays of sun catchers and wind chimes, of books set around a display, the flash of crystal and the curve of an armchair. The Corner Christian Bookstore was written in tasteful black script across the double glazed front doors. The store was embedded in a larger complex of store-fronts. This was where her dad used to work? “It’s wonderful.”

“My Franklin’s parents started the store right before the first World War, and I kept it open when Franklin went off to fight in the Second World War. He made it through Normandy and every battle after and came home to me. Our son was set to take over when we retired, but we lost him in Vietnam. That’s when it went to John and your mother. Then Dorrie came along and she worked so hard. She’s like a daughter to me. Now, they’ve passed it on to their children. A real family tradition.” Mary lit up with pride. “There’s Spence now, dear. Brace yourself, he’s wound pretty tight.”

Lauren caught the hint of a tall, austere looking man on the other side of the
windows, striding swiftly toward the glass doors.

Aubrey closed her car door and over the top of the roof, she sent a huge look of apology. “We’re so sorry for him.”

“What do you mean?” Lauren asked, but there was no time for Aubrey’s answer.

The door swung open to reveal a tall, wide-shouldered man with perfectly groomed brown hair and piercing blue eyes. His scowl would do a villain justice. This was her brother? Her hopes began to sink. He tossed her a dismissive glance, his upper lip might have lifted up in the corner in a sneer, but she could have imagined it, before he turned his back on her and commandeered their grandmother.

He clearly didn’t like her.

“Gran. You shouldn’t be surprising us like this.” Spence escorted Mary up onto the sidewalk with care. “You should have called me to help if you were having a problem with Linda’s daughter.”

So, the past wasn’t left behind completely. This reaction was what she’d feared when she’d agreed to Mary’s invitation to visit. Her mother—there was no accounting
for all that she’d put everyone through, Lauren could see that now, for Linda had needed money to help her chase her empty dreams.

Gran seemed distressed. “Spence, you have it all wrong. I hired a private investigator to find Lauren. I thought—”

“You what?” Spence looked outraged.

Lauren pressed her hand to her heart. His anger didn’t hurt. She wouldn’t let it. That man was her older brother. He looked nothing like the teenager from the family photograph on the cottage’s wall. He was harsh and unforgiving and expected the worst of her. What if the others shared his opinion? That old familiar loneliness wrapped around her like a cold wind and she shivered.

“Hey, it’s just Spence.” Aubrey came close, bringing with her a kindness that made that loneliness less chilly. “He’s like that. He was hurt pretty bad when Mom left. He took her abandonment so hard. I don’t think he’s ever really recovered.”

“Neither have I.” Lauren saw herself in Spence. She wasn’t big and harsh and intimidating, but she was on that path. After a
while, loneliness and distrust became a habit; over the years, that habit became harder to break.

“I need to warn you, before we go in,” Aubrey was saying in that gentle, quiet way of hers. “We don’t talk about Mom, especially not in front of Spence or Dad. In fact, we don’t much talk about her at all, anymore. She didn’t want to be a part of our lives and we can’t go back and make her want to. She put Dad through a lot, afterward. Maybe you didn’t know that.”

“No. Mom said terrible things about everyone. I grew up hearing it so often, I guess I halfway b-believed it.”

“You were two when she took you. You had no say in it. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Somehow it feels that way.”

Aubrey’s hand tightened. “It must have been hard being all alone. At least we all had each other.”

It had been hard and it was the understanding of it that connected them.

“C’mon,” Aubrey said. “Come meet everyone.”

They hadn’t taken three steps onto the sidewalk when a loud squealing sound tore
through the parking lot from behind them. Lauren turned to see Aubrey’s identical image rushing toward her, although this twin was wearing a bright yellow apron smeared with streaks of pink and green, her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and her arms were stretched wide.

“Prepare yourself for Ava,” Aubrey warned, but it was too late.

Lauren found herself in a tight hug that would have cut off her air supply had it been any tighter.

“This is so totally awesome!” Ava wouldn’t let go. “It’s our little baby sister all grown up!”

While she heard Aubrey’s laugh and Ava’s happy squeal, what she most noticed was how hard Ava held on to her, how happy Aubrey sounded, the overwhelming rush of emotion that jammed in her throat. She was wanted. They were all talking at once, Lauren couldn’t listen to all of them, her mind was spinning. The ache in her throat swelled until she couldn’t swallow. It was amazing any air got through at all. Gran was standing in the shelter of the doorway, beaming with happiness.

“This is so super-duper,” Ava chattered happily. “I saw the car pull in and I couldn’t believe my eyes. Even if Aubrey hadn’t called, I would have totally known you on sight, Lauren.”

“I’m Rebecca, by the way,” the youngest girl said. She had that college look to her, the one that Lauren knew so well. “Why am I the last to know these things?”

“You’re always out of the loop,” Aubrey admonished her gently. “If you’d answer your cell phone—”

“Or your e-mail,” Ava added.

“Or checked a single message.” A middle-aged, motherly looking woman approached, squeezing past Spence who glowered in front of the store. “You don’t know a thing about me, Lauren, but I am so glad to finally meet you. My Rebecca and you are almost the same age.”

“This is Dorrie.” Aubrey leaned in to explain. “Our stepmom.”

Stepmom. Dorrie didn’t look like any stepmother Lauren had ever seen before. She radiated maternal caring. She took it upon herself to smooth the flyaway hair from Lauren’s blurry eyes. She couldn’t tell
if she was grateful or wistful that this woman had replaced Mom in the family. She seemed like everything a good mother should be. Everything Lauren had once needed.

“Do you know what I’m going to do?” Dorrie asked as the group hug broke apart. “I’m gonna make my special potato salad for your welcome-home dinner tonight.”

“Ooh, and your homemade rolls!” Ava pleaded.

Dorrie laughed. “Yes, dearie, I’ll make your favorite rolls. This is a celebration. Our Lauren is back with us.”

Not a single word could squeeze past the burning knot in her throat. Overwhelmed, she just stood there in the middle of her family like a robot in sleep mode. But her heart was like a too-full dam and the walls couldn’t hold it all. Inside, every wall she’d ever built against the loneliness of her childhood crumbled. The feeling of family—of being wanted—swept every defense away.

“Ooh, I’ll make dessert!” Ava spoke loud enough to be heard, because everyone was talking at once. “Something chocolate. Lauren, do you like chocolate?”

She managed to nod but still couldn’t speak. She had a family. For the first time in her life.

Lauren had been on his mind all day, but when Caleb saw Spence marching across the driveway in his direction, he figured he knew the reason why. He gave the new gate latch a final twist of the screwdriver.

Malia stuck her head over his shoulder to get a good look at her next challenge.

“You leave it be, you hear me?” he told her with a wink and gathered up his tool bag. He met Spence halfway, dreading every step.

Spence didn’t look happy. “You knew about her and you didn’t tell me.”

“I figured it was Mary’s place to tell you.”

“How long have we been friends?”

“Since we were kids in Sunday school—”

“That’s a long time. Secrets. That’s not what I’d expect of a longtime friend.” It was hurt that echoed in the lower tones of Spence’s voice, although he held himself as if angry.

Caleb was sorry for that, too. “It wasn’t my place to get involved.”

“I see. Well, if it’s not your place, then
whose is it? Do you know what I saw today?”

“I don’t know. What’s got you all worked up?” He dumped his tool bag into the back of his truck.