A Midwife Crisis (20 page)

A person can’t fight fire with fire if they never get close to the flame. Katie patted a tendril of hair into her bun, determined to warm things up a little. Caroline had done her best to drive a wedge between Katie and John, but last night proved how ineffective she was.

“Julia,” Katie said, adding the finishing touches to her gravy, “would you please set another plate at the table in the dining room? I’m going to eat with you and your pa this morning.”

Julia raced from the kitchen as Katie finished dishing up the rest of breakfast. Katie carried the bowls to the table, fighting the nerves bubbling up in her belly. She hadn’t seen John since they’d made love, but she’d been unable to think of anything else. John entered the dining room, barely glancing in her direction before taking a seat at the table. Caroline, on the other hand, came in glowing and talking a mile a minute.

“Good morning, Katie,” Caroline said. “Are you joining us for breakfast? How lovely!”

Caroline sat beside John, reaching over to lay her hand on his. Katie’s nervousness changed to dread. Slowly, she took her seat, fighting the urge to run. Something wasn’t right.

“Good morning,” Katie said in return. “You seem happy.”

Caroline giggled. “Who wouldn’t be?” She turned toward John. “Can I tell her, John?” Not waiting for his permission, she forged forward in typical Caroline manner. “Oh, how silly of me. I just can’t hold it in any longer. John and I are getting married. Aren’t you just thrilled for us?”

Caroline continued to babble, but Katie had no idea what she said from that point. Her brain shut down. Her heart stopped. All the blood in her body rushed to her ears, and the buzzing, whirling sound threatened to send her to the floor.

Swallowing, despite the cotton that suddenly filled her mouth, she looked at John, imploring him to explain. He closed his eyes as though he was in pain and when he finally opened them, he kept them focused on his plate. Obviously, he had no intention of explaining anything. He regretted what they’d done so much, he wouldn’t even look at her.

Katie stood and walked from the room, not caring if she was being rude or if Caroline had finished her prattle. Her legs carried her to her room—thank goodness they were still working—where she rummaged through her trunk until she found her list. With a tearful dip of her pen in the inkwell, she marked John’s name off the top. If only she could get him out of her heart as easily.

Maybe, if he weren’t such a coward, John would’ve been able to look Katie in the eye, but he just couldn’t yet. He hadn’t even fully realized he’d agreed to any
kind of engagement with Caroline. But the woman had a way of twisting everything he said, and her blurting of the news before he even had time to think made a mess of the situation. Katie must have felt devastated, but he couldn’t talk to her with Caroline listening to their every word, if Caroline ever listened. For the last several moments, she hadn’t quit talking long enough to breathe. He felt as though he had been caught up in a tornado.

He finally raised his gaze, surprised to learn that Katie was no longer in the room and Caroline’s incessant chatting was directed toward him. “Beg pardon?”

“John, I swear, I think sometimes you don’t listen to me at all. I asked if Christmas Eve would be a good time for the wedding. I thought we could have a small ceremony here, then plan a larger one when we return to New York.”

“Ummm…” He didn’t know where to start to get out of this nightmare.

“You could act a little more excited.”

“It wasn’t what I had planned.”

“For a wedding?”

“For my life.” He shouldn’t have said that, probably. Caroline immediately bristled before attempting to look sympathetic, complete with a humble tip of her head.

“It wasn’t what I’d planned either,” she said, “but we’re doing the right thing for Julia and for Lois.”

“I suppose,” he answered absently, which was an apt description for where his brain stayed for most of the morning. He absently ate breakfast before returning absently to his office, where he absently stared at some
books, or was it the wall? It didn’t matter. Absent stares have no purpose anyway.

Finally lunchtime rolled around, and he decided he needed to talk to Katie and pray that she understood why he was marrying Caroline. Then, with any luck at all, maybe he’d understand it himself.

Hesitantly, he walked to the kitchen only to find Mrs. Adkins making lunch.

“Mrs. Adkins?”

“Oh, hi, Dr. Keffer. My ankle’s better now.” She stuck out her booted foot and wiggled the ankle to prove her point. “So I come back to work. Katie said you was busy, so I didn’t disturb you. I thought I’d just go ahead and start on lunch.”

“Where’s Katie?”

“She went on home. Said to tell you not to worry about her pay. She’d get it later.”

He nodded, all his determination fizzling with amazing speed. “Oh,” he said, because that was all he could come up with, and considering his current state of fizzle, it could have been worse.

The icy rain running down the back of Katie’s neck fit nicely with her mood. Shifting her bundle of clothes to her other hip, she tromped over the muddy path to her cabin, determined not to cry. But that wasn’t easy. She’d given herself to John wholeheartedly, sure he loved her as much as she loved him, but she’d been mistaken.

And it hurt.

Like nothing had ever hurt her in her life, his betrayal tore at her worse than the wolf ever could have.
With a quick stomp on the porch, she knocked the mud off her new boots and entered her cabin.

“Katie?” her grandma called from the kitchen. “Is that you?”

“Yes’m”, she answered, heading straight for her bunk in the loft. The last thing she wanted to do was explain things to Grandma, or anyone else, for that matter.

“Are you home for good?” Pa asked as she climbed the steps.

For good
had an ominous ring to it, adding to her depression and generally foul humor. She tossed her bundle on her cot before dropping beside it to feel properly sorry for herself.

For good
. Was there really such a thing? Was this all the good she could expect in life? All she deserved?

“I’m home, Pa,” she finally answered, “at least until I get married.”

“Have you picked a beau, then?” Grandma asked, scurrying to stand beside Pa at the foot of the stairs.

“I’m marrying Randy.” Her announcement jumped out with little thought, but the more she considered it, the better it sounded. Randy would give her handsome, healthy babies and that was all she’d ever wanted anyway. The fact that John hated him for living only made it that much sweeter.

It rained for two days and by the time the clouds emptied out, the temperature had dropped until the wet ground froze into frosty chunks. The last thing Katie wanted to do was head to town, but in her absence, Grandma had used the last of the flour and if they were going to eat, a trip to Frank’s was Katie’s
only option. Besides, she needed to tell her fiancés that she’d made a decision. Chances were good she’d find Harold sitting around the stove, chatting with his friends.

“Mornin’, Katie,” Frank said when she stepped into the warm interior of his store. “How’re you doin’ today?”

She forced a smile, not too unlike the one John used to favor, and said, “I’m fine. I’m needin’ some flour.”

He nodded and proceeded to weigh out enough flour to fill a small sack while Katie turned toward the stove. Harold and Freddie were deep in discussion, raising their heads to look at her when she stepped around the fabrics.

“Katie,” Harold said, walking toward her. “Me and Freddie was talking, and we think it’s time for you to make your decision. I ain’t getting any younger.”

The jingle of Frank’s door chime pulled Katie’s attention to the newest customer to enter the store.

“Mornin’ Katie,” Randy said, smiling as he crossed the store to talk with her. “You’re lookin’ mighty pretty this mornin’.”

She doubted it, but it was always nice to hear just the same. “Thank you.” A twinge of nerves knotted her stomach. She supposed it was only fitting to inform him he was about to be married, but looking at him face-to-face while the other two watched made the duty uncomfortable at best. Then suddenly John and Caroline walked into the store, and her courage stepped up to the task.

“Glad I ran into y’all today.” She could see John watching from the corner of her eye, Caroline hanging
on his arm like a leech. “I’ve decided I want to marry Randy, if he’s still willing.”

“Willin’?”
Randy hooted and slapped his thigh before grabbing Katie for a fierce hug. The hug didn’t startle her as much as the kiss that followed, but the combination of the two left her embarrassed and totally rattled.

Harold’s face flashed red enough to sizzle. “Wait a minute! Why would you want some hothead like him? He ain’t got two nickels to rub together.”

Freddie still hadn’t said anything, but Katie got the distinct impression he was relieved to be off the hook. Randy, on the other hand, puffed up his chest and hooked his thumbs on his belt. “Well, apparently she ain’t interested in rubbing nickels.” He wrapped his arm around Katie’s waist, tugging her against him while he grinned at Harold. “You lose.”

Harold smacked his thigh and stormed away. “Come on, Freddie,” he said over his shoulder. “Ain’t no use trying to talk sense into her.”

Freddie glanced down at the floor before gulping once and saying, “Good luck, Katie.” Then he gave her a quick peck on the cheek before hurrying back to the stove.

Randy chuckled. “Well, at least Freddie is smart enough to realize the best man won. When do you want to tie the knot?” His smile sparkled and for a second, his excitement was contagious.

“The sooner the better.” She tried her level best not to let her eyes drift toward John, but Caroline was dragging him across the store, too close to ignore.

Smiling as though Katie were her closest friend,
Caroline said, “I couldn’t help but overhear. So it’s official now? You and Mr. Kopp are getting married?”

With a lift of her chin, Katie looped her arm through Randy’s and smiled. “Yes, it’s official.”

A strange glint in Caroline’s eye made Katie wonder if she was pleased or jealous. Though why would Caroline be jealous? She was getting the man of her dreams.

“John,” Caroline said, her tone admonishing, “aren’t you going to congratulate them?”

Katie allowed herself to look at John for the first time since he’d walked into the store. A muscle in his jaw twitched as his eyes locked on to hers, making her knees weaken. He seemed angry and hurt, as though he had the right. He was the one who’d abandoned her, not the other way around. If anyone had the right to be hurt, it was Katie. And she did hurt, more than she’d thought humanly possible.

But she couldn’t let him know that, so she lifted her chin and said, “Aren’t you happy for us, Dr. Keffer?”

John’s gaze narrowed slightly before he glanced toward Randy. “Congratulations, Mr. Kopp. It appears as though you’ve won the highly sought after prize.”

Randy chuckled, his chest puffing with pride and a hint of a challenge. “I always do.”

Katie fought the sick feeling that landed in her belly, as Randy’s comment caused her earlier concerns to rear up. Randy had won his trophy calf after all. She guessed she shouldn’t have expected that he’d fallen in love with her—she surely wasn’t in love with him—but a reaction other than hubris would have been nice.

“Katie,” John said, “I need to speak with you if you
have a moment. Could you stop by the house on your way out of town?”

She didn’t want to, but she could and that was what he’d asked. “Yes. I’ll be there shortly.”

Giving a brief nod in parting, John escorted the leech from the fabrics as Katie released a pent-up breath.

Randy patted her hand, still hooked in the crook of his arm. “I’ve got to go, darlin’.” He pecked a quick kiss on her cheek. “There’s a lot of people who need to know there’s a big wedding comin’.”

She smiled as he hurried away, hoping her smile looked genuine and wishing she felt half the exuberance he did.

John paced across his office, never allowing his eyes to stray from the window facing the street. He didn’t think Katie would refuse to stop by his house after she’d said she would, but he wasn’t willing to take the chance. Seeing Katie with Randy ripped open the wound in his soul that he’d thought had finally healed.

Rubbing his wedding ring, he tried to convince himself that marrying Caroline was the right decision. Julia needed a mother, and Lois had always known what was best for their little girl. If she thought Caroline would raise their daughter right, who was he to argue? He certainly hadn’t been the father Julia needed these last two years.

And now that Katie was marrying someone else—

The door chime clanged.

“I’ll get it, Mrs. Adkins,” he said, taking a deep
breath to bolster his courage as he hurried to the front door. Katie stood on the porch, cheeks pink from the cold, sadness in her gray eyes. He stepped back to allow her into the foyer and motioned for her to enter the parlor.

“Thank you for coming by.” He followed her into the room, thinking how natural it felt for her to be there. “May I take your coat?”

“I won’t be staying long,” she said, and he missed her already. “What was it you needed to speak to me about?”

Stepping behind his desk, he opened the top drawer and pulled out an envelope. “I owe you the rest of your wages.”

She hesitated for a second, a flash of hurt crossing her face, before she reached for the envelope. “Thank you,” she muttered. He hoped she didn’t look inside until she was home, else she’d surely return part of it. He’d more than doubled what he owed her, at least monetarily.

“I also owe you an explanation,” he added.

Lifting her eyes from the envelope, she caught his gaze before quickly averting hers. “You owe me nothing.”

“Please,” he said, walking around the desk, “give me a moment.”

She paused, then nodded and walked to a chair near the fire. Taking the one facing her, he tried to decide where to start. He probably should have decided that before now, but a part of him never expected her to actually stop by.