A Million Wishes (9 page)

A few hours later they were sitting in the parlor of the Sugar Hill Plantation waiting for Noah’s parents to join them.

“
Oh, Mikayla! It’s so good to see you darlin’. Come here and give me a hug.” Noah’s mother Vivian wrapped her up in a loving hug and kissed her cheeks.

“
It’s good to see you too Mrs. Cane, Mr. Cane.”

“
Oh stop with that formal speak you know better than that, call me Vivi honey. Now you two come on over here and get comfortable. We have tea and cookies coming in just a minute. Callum I swear you get more handsome every time I see you darlin’.”

“
Thank you Vivi, you are gorgeous as always.” Callum grinned at her and kissed her cheek. Walking over to Matthias and clapping him on the back affectionately. “Sir, it’s good to see you.”

“
It’s good to see you too son. How are those kids of yours? I saw the lot of them at the pumpkin patch around Halloween with that pretty wife of yours. Man they are growing like weeds.”

“
Yes Sir they are. The family is doing great though, thank you for asking.”

“
You are a sight for sore eyes Mikayla.” Mr. Cane gave her a big bear hug and kissed her forehead.

He looked so much like Noah it brought tears to her eyes. “I’ve missed you both. I’m sorry I haven’t visited more often. School and work keep me pretty tied up.”

“
You don’t worry about a thing darlin’ girl. Callum keeps us up to date on how you’re doing. Sounds like school has been going well and you’re about to graduate.”

“
Yes ma’am. I’m so glad too. I’m ready to really dig in and finish my trilogy I’ve started.”

“
Well I can’t wait to read them. I’ll be at the bookstore the first day it comes out!”

Mikayla smiled at Vivi and took her hand in hers. “Callum told me about Noah this morning. Is there anything I can do? Do you know when he’ll be home yet?”

Vivi got choked up and squeezed her hand. Matthias spoke up answering for her. “I imagine it will be a couple of weeks Miki. They’ll have to process him out and he’ll be going to Norfolk to see the families of the ones they lost. We’re going to be setting up the bedroom here downstairs for him just to make it easier on him until he gets used to maneuvering around.”

“
Well if there’s anything I can do, let me know ok? I’ll be here until Sunday then I have to head back to school. I have my finals coming up so I need to hit the books and catch up from missing this week.”

“
Oh goodness me where’s my manners! Mikayla, Callum, sweethearts, we were so sorry to hear about your Momma. Is there anything we can do for you? When is the service going to be, do you know yet?”

Callum answered “It will be on Saturday Vivi. Momma requested only a small graveside service but y’all are more than welcome to come.”

“
Of course we’ll be there. You kids are like family to us.”

They continued small talk for a little while until Callum looked at the time and excused them. “We have to meet the rest of the family at the funeral home to finalize the plans so we need to get going. Thank you for the tea and cookies Vivi, it was wonderful as always.”

Mikayla hugged them both “Please call me if you need anything, if I can help in any way or if you hear from him. I’ll be at Callum’s until Sunday then I’ll be heading back to Atlanta. Once school is out I’ll be coming back here. Momma…she left me the house and land so I’m going to move in after I finish this semester. Will you tell Noah for me if he calls?”

“
Oh Miki darlin’ that is so wonderful! Noah will be tickled pink to hear you are moving back. I know I am!” Vivi hugged her again and walked to the door with them.

“
Now if you want to come visit while you’re in town you just stop on by ok sweetheart? I’ll bring a casserole over to your house tonight Callum. Your sweet wife shouldn’t have to worry about cooking right now and it will give me something to do.”

“
Thank you Vivi, she’ll appreciate the thought ma’am.”

They drove in silence, each lost in thought. Once they all got to the funeral home the arrangements went smoothly and they all went in to see their mother. Miki was shocked how tiny she was. She had to have been less than a hundred pounds, gaunt and pale. Tears slipped down her face and she reached to touch her Mothers face, leaning down and kissing her cheek whispering that she was sorry, she forgave her and she hoped she would forgive her as well. It was all she could take so she walked out, ignoring her siblings and walking outside to take a deep breath of cool air. Life was so very cruel sometimes. One shouldn’t have to bear so many burdens, so much pain. She sincerely hoped her mother had found peace and was walking in Heaven with Daddy now. No illness, no regrets.

Reaching in her pocket she took out her ever present pen and notepad, jotting down thoughts when a butterfly landed on her hand then another on her notepad. Soon they were fluttering all around her, such a beautiful site that brought fresh tears to her eyes. Her mother had loved butterflies. She had the house decorated in them and had all sorts of butterfly things in her garden. Then one landed on her cheek. Fluttered, tickling her until she laughed, then flew around her once before flying high into the sky. Miki wasn’t sure what had just happened but she’d swear her mother had just fluttered down from Heaven and kissed her cheek, loving on her. Fresh tears streaked her face and she closed her eyes a moment. The healing was beginning. She had to let go of the hurt and fear and embrace life because it was way too short and precious not too. She had to try to learn to trust again. She deserved to be happy and in love. Noah deserved it more than anyone.

Step one. Read the letter Momma wrote her.

Step two. Finish the eulogy and get through the funeral.

Step three. Take her finals and graduate.

Step four. Move back to Sugar Creek and love her Noah as much as she possibly could.

Once she and Callum got back to his house she did just that. Sitting in the den by herself, Miki slid her finger under the sealed flap of the envelope and pulled out the piece of paper that was typed but had her mother’s signature at the bottom.

Dear Mikayla,

My sweet baby girl, I first want to tell you how proud I am of you. I have kept every article you have ever written in a big binder by my bed. Every time I missed you and wanted to feel close I would flip through it and wish over and over that I could turn back time and change so many things. I’m so sorry Miki for all the things I said and did, all the times I hurt you and over looked you being abused. I have no excuse other than my own bitter soul and alcohol addiction that ruined my life and nearly yours. I was so blind to things back then Miki, so stubborn and had so much pain in my heart I took it out on you and I shouldn’t have. I should have protected you instead of myself and I will forever regret and hate myself for what happened to you. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I am asking for it. I’m asking you to please find a way to let go of your awful childhood and continue on with your life and be happy. You deserve the world handed to you on a silver platter darling girl. You are so damn smart and so beautiful with such a loving heart. I’m so sorry I never returned phone calls or letters. I was so ashamed of myself when Lucas admitted to me on his deathbed that he did do all those awful things to you. Please don’t let him ruin your life though Mikayla. Open yourself up to love like your father gave me. It’s a beautiful thing and I want that for you so bad, more than anyone. I love you Mikayla. I am so very sorry for not believing and protecting you.

With all the love in my heart,

Your Mother

For the first time in a very long time, Miki felt peace in her heart towards her mother, real peace. She folded the letter and tucked it back in the envelope and wiped her eyes. It was time to finish writing the eulogy. Tomorrow she would be busy helping her sister in law grocery shop and start preparing for Thanksgiving. Everyone was coming to Callum’s house for dinner and to watch football.

She needed to be alone while she wrote; she needed fresh air and solitude. There was only one place that would offer what she needed. Miki grabbed her jacket, truck keys and journal. Leaving a note on the kitchen counter for her brother she left there heading for her mother’s house, her house now. Once she pulled in the driveway and put the truck in park, Miki knew she couldn’t go inside. Not yet. So she made her way through the field to the old oak tree, deftly climbing up and sitting in her spot, taking a few moments just to close her eyes and breathe deep.

Memories flooded her, washed over her senses so fluidly she could hear the sounds of her childhood, smell the scents and feel it all around her as if it was yesterday. Momma was in the kitchen, teaching her how to make peanut butter kiss cookies. Her first job was unwrapping dozens of Hershey Kisses, sneaking one here and there while Momma got all the ingredients out. When Momma was in the mood to bake she didn’t just make one batch. One batch would be gone in seconds with all us kids and Daddy around. No, it was an all-day affair and so much fun. We made a huge mess in the kitchen as we were mixing, scooping, baking and placing the chocolate kisses precisely in the middle of each cookie as soon as they came out of the oven. That’s one thing she always did. Cook with love. She wanted to make everything pretty and taste oh so good. Her motto was "A messy cook is a good cook. You can’t trust someone who cooks and keeps things clean the entire time." Miki grinned and tilted her head back. She could almost smell the rich peanut butter cookie now. Her other motto was, “Food is love.” If you care for someone, you feed them good, the very best.

Thinking back more she remembered working in the garden with her. Momma loved digging her fingers in the dirt planting, weeding, and picking fresh vegetables and fruit. We used to sit on the front porch shucking corn or shelling beans for hours in the summer time. Sweating in the kitchen canning them, making pickles and salsa. Still to this day she remembered the process they’d go through each summer, from boiling jars to cleaning the fruit and veggies. Slicing and dicing, packing the jars, adding seasonings or sugar, whatever the particular one called for. It was hot, hard work but so rewarding, peaceful in its ebb and flow.

Miki remembered how Momma would spoil Daddy, and then Lucas after that. Momma always fixed their dinner plate for them, giving them the biggest, choicest piece of meat, or the most perfect slice of pie. Little things like that. Daddy would always give her his big playful grin and swat her bottom, or pull her onto his lap and kiss her. Back then Momma used to giggle a lot when Daddy was home. She would make a point to get all dolled up for him before he got off work a lot of times. He loved her like crazy, and she was over the moon for him. That was the kind of love she wished for.

As she sat there in that big oak tree looking out over the land, reminiscing of days gone by she was remembering more and more of the days before her father died. There were many afternoons sitting on the sofa with her mother learning how to cross stitch and embroider while Daddy and her brothers watched football on Sundays. Standing on a kitchen chair helping wash dishes, wearing her Mother’s apron feeling like a big girl. How on Saturday nights Momma would roll their hair up in rollers so it would be pretty and curly for church Sunday morning. It hadn’t always been bad. She had been sick a lot, and when she was, Momma would make her soup or jello, then put icy cold cloths on her forehead, letting her lay her head on her lap while she played with her hair.

When Daddy died, a part of Momma had died with him. She understood more now as she pulled memories up from before and after the accident. She had lost the love of her life and it had been because of me. Then the alcohol abuse just inflamed that made it worse, that’s when the hitting started. When Lucas started coming around and spoiling her Mother, listening to how she spoke about me like I was the worst excuse for a human, he saw an opportunity. He was a predator. Momma had been blind to it, or at least acted like it. She had been so torn up, so sick with missing Daddy, so sick with alcoholism, she didn’t see, didn’t care and maybe, just wanted me gone because I reminded her too much of Daddy.

She pushed it back. Focused on the task, and wrote.

Momma was many things to many people. Each of you has your own memories but today I’m sharing mine. Memories of a little girl that wanted to be just like her beautiful mother. She had such a grace about her, such a joy about her when Daddy was alive. I remember dreaming that one day I would be so lucky as to have a love like that. I celebrate her laughter and the way she loved him, the way she loved all of us kids in our own different ways. I remember the softness of her touch when she took care of me when I was sick. I remember when she would sit me on the kitchen counter and teach me how to cook. Or lazy Sunday afternoons learning how to sew with her or working in the garden. She was always trying to teach us something. Help us to better ourselves. I am happy to say she was successful in teaching all us to go for our dreams. Each of us are a testament of the love our parents gave us. We made have went through difficult times but the values they instilled in us will last us a lifetime. I imagine right now she is smiling bright, surrounded by butterflies, sitting on Daddy’s lap and asking him about his day. I can see the big smile on his face and the way he would stroke her cheek and tell her how much he loved her and how beautiful she was. That’s what I focus on today. Knowing that she loved the most important man in my life, my Father, until the day that she died, holding his picture in her arms.