A Miracle of Hope (The Amish Wonders Series) (11 page)

She was beyond cold. Yet she wasn’t ready to go inside. She needed a few more minutes for her stomach to settle.

“Icicles are going to form on your eyebrows if you don’t
kumm
inside.”

She swept the back of her hand across her face and forced a smile. “I’ll be in shortly.” His life was in chaos and yet he was worried about her. She should feel blessed to be his wife.

“Well, don’t stay out here long.” Josiah leaned closer. “It isn’t
gut
for the
boppli
.” He turned and went inside.

She rested her head against the banister post and closed her eyes. This was her childhood dream. She was married, pregnant, and had a husband who worried about what was good for the baby. She massaged her forehead. If only things were different.

These were the times she missed her mother the most. Her mother would know how to gain Hannah’s heart. How to be a
gut fraa
. And her mother wouldn’t struggle to bond with an innocent
boppli—a miracle growing in her womb, a gift from God—
her mother would’ve proclaimed.

Lindie looked up at the sky. If her mother were still alive, she would be disappointed in her daughter too.

Chapter Eight

L
indie stays out on that porch a lot, doesn’t she?” Simon moved away from the window, shaking his head. “The woman doesn’t have much sense if she doesn’t know to
kumm
in from the
kalt
.”

“She’s
nett
adjusting very well.” Josiah opened the cupboard expecting to find coffee mugs and found plates. She wasn’t the only one having trouble adjusting. Having a woman in the house again was difficult. In the next cabinet, he found the mugs. Josiah removed three and filled them with coffee.

Simon pulled a chair out and sat. “Where did you find Hannah?”

“Sitting under a tree a few feet from where the timbering trail stops.” Josiah set the cups on the table, then returned to the stove and stirred the leftover chili. “Have you seen any of her drawings?”

“I’ve seen some of her scribbling. Why?”

Josiah shrugged. “Anything that looked like a deer or trees?”

“
Nay
. They don’t look like anything.” The lines across Simon’s forehead deepened. “Is something wrong?”

Josiah shook his head. “It’s nothing.” As he filled the bowls with chili, Lindie entered his peripheral vision.

“Your husband finished preparing the meal,” Simon snipped. He eyed the chair where she usually sat. “You might as well sit while he serves you.”

Lindie sat down but immediately bounced back up. “Where is Hannah?”

“In her room.” Josiah carried the bowls to the table. One he gave to Simon, the other he set down at Lindie’s place.

“I’ll let Hannah know it’s time to eat,” Lindie said.

Simon cleared his throat.

“I sent her to her room.” Josiah motioned to the chair. “Have a seat.”

Lindie glimpsed Simon’s scowl and eased back into the seat.

Josiah closed his eyes, said a quick grace, then began eating. He was halfway through his meal before he noticed Lindie’s bowl sat untouched. “You’re
nett
hungry?”

She shook her head, but as he continued to look at her, she picked up the spoon and took a few bites.

Her big blue eyes stole his breath. It was hard to recall the same freckle-faced redhead whom he met visiting Eli’s district so many years ago. Her
kapp
was still askew on her head. She hadn’t adjusted it after getting it caught on the fence. Her shiny, coiled locks spilling out captivated his attention. His mind wandered with thoughts of combing his fingers through her hair and unraveling the rest of those soft curls. His thoughts would be normal had they enjoyed a normal marriage.

Josiah pushed back in his chair and stood. “Anyone need their
kaffi
warmed?”

Simon and Lindie shook their heads as Josiah grabbed his cup. He dumped the perfectly fine coffee into the sink and took
a long, calming breath while refilling his cup. Returning to the table, he arched his brows at Lindie and used his free hand to brush up the back of his neck.

She cocked her head and shrugged, failing to understand that a good portion of her hair had come undone.

How could she not feel her hair spilling over her neck? Caroline would have known. His
fraa
would’ve—his
fraa
. He bit his lip. How long would it be before he recognized Lindie as his wife?

Josiah waited for Simon to look away, then tried to get Lindie’s attention. Once more he shoved his hand up the back of his neck.

She reached to the back of her head and ran her fingers down a long red strand. Crimson-faced, she tucked it back under the
kapp
. Her eyes pleaded with Josiah’s, as if seeking his approval.

Josiah nodded slightly. He probably could have let it go. Simon hadn’t lifted his head from his bowl since he was served. Josiah shifted on his chair. Many times a woman’s hair came loose during the day, especially after working in the garden or scrubbing floors. Now he’d led Lindie to believe
she
had done something inappropriate. His mind wandered again into restricted areas, imagining her soft curls between his fingers. No! He wouldn’t let these wayward thoughts interfere with the pledge of neverending love he’d made to Caroline.

Simon ate quickly, then used the first opportunity to leave, stating he had some things in the barn that required his attention.

Josiah understood. This new family structure was difficult on all of them. He, too, planned to find a reason to go into town later just to get away from the house for a few hours. That is, if he could trust Lindie to keep an eye on Hannah. He still needed to talk with his daughter about running off, but first he wanted
to see the picture of the deer—if there really was such a picture. He hoped Lindie hadn’t made it up as a way to stop him from punishing Hannah. If so, he would put an end to such nonsense straightaway. He needed a helpmate, not more problems.

Lindie had eaten all she could of the chili. The next time she made chili, she would limit the amount of seasoning. At least while she was pregnant. Her stomach would remain active the rest of the day.

She stood and reached for Josiah’s empty bowl. “Would you like more?”

“
Nay, denki
,” he mumbled, too preoccupied with examining his finger to look up.

She looked over his shoulder. “Is it a sliver?”

“Jah.”
He twisted his finger sideways and tried to pinch the area with his other fingers.

Lindie set the dishes in the sink and turned on the tap.

“
Kumm
wash your hand. Do you have any rubbing alcohol?”

“Under the sink.” He chewed the edge of his finger.

“You won’t get it out that way either.” She grabbed the alcohol, then tapped the sink basin. “
Kumm
on. Let me take a look.”

He hesitated.

She had her hands washed before he’d budged from the chair.

Josiah crossed the room and met her at the sink.

She handed him the bar of lye. “Soap it
gut
.”

She’d never seen someone so slow to lather his hands. Hadn’t he had a sliver removed before? When he finally finished, she handed him a clean dish towel from the drawer and waited for him to dry them off.

“Okay, let’s take a look.” She reached for his hand and examined the reddened area on his finger. It was difficult to concentrate with him standing so close. She squeezed his finger on both sides of the splinter. Too deep. It didn’t move. She released his hand.

“
Denki
anyway,” he said.

“I’m
nett
done.” She reached to the front of her dress and removed one of the straight pins she used to secure the opening.

His eyes widened.

Lindie searched the front of her dress. Removing the pin had not left a large gap. She would replace it once she took care of his finger.

She doused the pin with rubbing alcohol, then grabbed his hand once more.

He inched closer, his warm breath caressing her face.

She twisted his finger to get a better grip, causing him to flinch. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay.” He changed positions, and moving closer still, he rested his uninjured hand on her waist.

Her hands trembled as they stood nose to nose in this intimate position.

“Tell me if I hurt you,” she said.

“You won’t.”

Her knees weakened as his breath brushed her ear. She jabbed the pin under his skin. The muscles in his forearm tightened and she withdrew the pin.

He tapped her hip, but his smile turned into a frown.

“What’s wrong?”

“Your bony hip isn’t much to grab hold of.”

She ignored his comment. “You better hold on to something. This is deep.” Concentrating on her effort, she quickly finished the task. “Okay, I think I got it all.”

He looked over his injured finger while his other hand remained on her hip.

The floor creaked behind them.

Lindie turned to see Hannah standing there, her mouth agape, her narrow eyes darting from her father to Lindie. The girl spun and ran down the hall.

Josiah shook his head slowly. “I told her she wasn’t allowed to leave her room.”

“The child’s hungry.”

His brows rutted. “The child is disobedient.”

“Denying her food isn’t right either. You worry about me eating enough for this unborn
boppli
and you don’t worry about your own
dochder
.” His face turned red and the veins in his neck protruded, but she continued anyway. “Your punishment is either too hard or too lax.”

He crossed his arms. “Are you done?”

His expression warned her to stop, but she couldn’t. “The only way Hannah will learn responsibility is if she’s assigned chores, but you keep sending her to her room. Does she know how to set the table? Has she ever made her own bed? You hire out the laundry—”

“Enough, Lindie,” he said sharply. He paused, and when he continued, he lowered his voice. “I’m doing the best I can.” He inhaled and slowly released his breath. “But I can’t allow her to be disobedient any longer.” He strode from the room and his heavy footsteps echoed down the hall.

“Jesus, we need you,” Lindie whispered. “This isn’t how you intended family to be.”

A few minutes later Josiah returned. “I looked around her room, but I couldn’t find her drawing pad. If you think that’s
why she ran off to the woods, I have half a notion to take it away from her.”

“Nay—”
Lindie clamped her mouth closed. She’d already said more than most wives would dare. Any minute he would remind her of her place.

But he didn’t. Instead, he turned, took a few steps, then circled back around. She thought he was about to say something, but he swiped the other woman’s clean casserole dish off the counter and strode out of the room.

If Lindie hadn’t been an outsider in his eyes before this, she was now. She squeezed her eyes closed, but prayers wouldn’t come. How could she pray that this marriage would work after she’d practically chased him out the door? She craned her neck to look out the window and watched him place the woman’s dish into his buggy. Running between two women wasn’t part of their arrangement and was something she was not willing to accept. No Amish district, no matter where it was located, would accept that type of behavior from its members.

She moved away from the window after he disappeared into the barn. She scanned the room, from the sink piled with dirty dishes, to the counter scattered with crumbs where the bread had been sliced. The spots of chili splattered on the wall behind the stove were almost artistic. The kitchen was a mess. Even the floor under the table had puddles of water from the snow melting off Josiah’s and Simon’s boots. Perhaps if she hinted at having to mop multiple times a day to keep the floor clean they might leave their boots at the door.

She would get everything in order, but first Hannah had to eat. She placed the pot of chili back on the stove to heat, sliced a piece of bread, and pulled a bowl down from the cabinet. Once
everything was ready, she brought the dish into Hannah’s room.

Hannah looked into Lindie’s eyes. The contempt was gone.

Lindie pointed to the food. “Eat,” she said, making an eating motion with her hands.

The girl dipped the spoon into the chili, blew on it, then took a bite.

Lindie left the room. Josiah might be upset with her once he found out, but she wouldn’t let the girl go hungry.