A Model Romance (True Love Book 3) (19 page)

After a few breaths, my erection goes down, even with her continuing to massage it. It still feels just as good, but I train my body to know that it doesn’t have to stay tense and hard to be enjoyable. I gently caress her lips and place my fingers between the folds. Her soft warmth makes them feel like velvet. I could stay like this all day; it’s the greatest thing I’ve ever felt. My cock responds to the pleasure I feel in my brain, and she smiles and keeps the rhythmic touch going on the head.

I no longer have feelings of guilt associated with pleasure. It has been replaced by a mutual fulfillment with another person. As I keep learning and practicing, I can foresee a time where I could self-satisfy to harness this energy.

She releases me, and uncoils her legs from my waist. She gently eases me back, so that I’m lying flat on the blanket. She oils her hands and begins to massage the area around my balls, and below. One hand grabs the base of my shaft, and she strokes up and twists with the other. She alternates hands again and again until I’m close to orgasm, and then she stops until I get soft again. She presses into the area in between my ass and my balls, and I feel a deep pulling like an orgasm, but my dick is soft. I’ve never felt anything like it; it’s incredible. My body relaxes deeply into it, and she begins our breathing again. We breathe together as she manipulates my sensitive body. I come close to ejaculating, and she stops until it passes. She goes back the perineal area again, sticks a finger into my ass to massage the prostate.

The sensation is so intense; I feel an orgasm roll in from deep in my gut. It catches me by surprise, and I give into it fully. I don’t ejaculate, and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. It lasts ten times longer, and is a hundred times stronger than any orgasm I’ve ever had. I don’t feel tired, I feel energized. She allows time for my breathing to slow and join hers again.

Since I don’t know the techniques, yet, I can’t reciprocate for her. I ask her to show me, but she laughs and tells me that’s a full day of lessons. Instead, she climbs up onto the pillow, and lies on her stomach. She offers her body up to me, and I willingly accept. My dick cooperates, and I enter her from behind. She instructs me to lie against her, while my dick is inside, and stay still. I go soft and hard again, as I remain in her warmth. She squeezes then releases her walls around my shaft, and I linger in the sweet torture. No rush, no end goal, just pure pleasure.

She reaches around to encourage my hips to move.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Wick. Let me feel it,”

I press into her firmly, and push her body against the pillow. She bucks her rear, which I take as a sign to dive in. I comply, and we begin to fuck hard. My nerve endings are still singing from the sweet orgasm I’ve already had this evening, and it creates an unfathomable feeling in my gut.  I press a finger inside her ass, and I press her clitoris with another. She shakes with relief as an orgasm rips through her, and onto me. I feel her body contract and convulse with pleasure. I’m hesitant to release my ejaculation, I’m scared I’ll return back to my use-it-or-lose-it ways if I do. She encourages me through it, and I give it to her. I fill her with me cum, and it’s exquisite. I pump slowly, mindfully, into her relaxed body. Even though the physical action was the same as in the past, nothing else about it ever will be.

I know how to control my body, and use it for what it’s intended for; To reach a deeper connection with myself and those around me. To show compassion and open my heart up to love and possibility with someone.

Chapter 18

I’m worried.

Pam and I have been sharing this sexual relationship for a few weeks, but I may have to stop. She and I have confessed to one another that while we’re extremely close friends, we’re not destined to be more than that. I know she’s ready to move on in her life, and so am I. We fulfilled a need we both shared to be able to experiment and trust someone in a safe environment. No judgment.

I’m so scared that I’ll have no idea how to act when I finally meet someone. Even though I practice my poses and meditations everyday, and I’m committed to it, I haven’t had sex with someone outside of this realm in a very long time. What if I can’t? How am I supposed to have a normal sex life now? The thought of reverting back to who I was long ago, frightens me to my core. Having casual sex with no connection or emotion can’t ever happen again. I have to stay strong and committed to the change I made in myself.

Pam has the same fears, and we agree to keep each other in check. It may not ever be much of an issue for me, though. Being a small town public safety officer doesn’t exactly put me in many situations to meet women, and there’s no way anyone I know would ever see me again.

* * *

Months pass. My habits have become so predictable, it’s embarrassing. I work the day shift during the week with a weekend thrown in once a month. I’m at Mom and Dad’s house on Sundays for dinner, and Lach and I watch football until late and then I head back home to start it all over again. Throw in the occasional side trip to see Eric or Pam, and that’s it. The old me would have been bored out of his young mind, but the new me is focused and balanced. I’m content.

The Bears have a bye this weekend, so Lach and I make plans to help Dad paint the dining room on Sunday to surprise Mom. He’s sending her on a spa day for her birthday, so we’ll have most of the day to get it done. I work on Saturday, but I’ll head up early in the evening so we can get started first thing.

Our little downtown is busy today. The weather is nice, and everyone is taking advantage of warmer temperatures before winter settles in. The park across the street from the fire station is buzzing with little humans, and their mothers, who, unaccustomed to the job, are taking the job from the nanny today. This town has a great deal of hired help in the households, in the form of gardeners, nannies, drivers and personal assistants. Some have personal chefs and live-in staff, too. Our population often doubles from Monday through Friday.

I enjoy walking around on patrol and getting to know people. It helps to be on friendly terms if there’s ever an issue to deal with. As I round the corner near the coffee shop, I notice a shock of the most beautiful red hair I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen more than my fair share. Having spent my youth in Scotland where it’s a bit more prevalent, I guess that’s why I notice it. I look over at her, and she’s in full-blown panic. About ten feet behind her is a little toddler, thinking she’s paying hide and seek with her.

I try not to frighten the little one, so I crouch down to her level and hold out my arms. At first glance, she hesitates, and then she climbs right up. I would normally be concerned for a child who would go so readily to strangers, but she’s too young for that lesson. She grasping at the air in the direction of the redhead, so I assume the woman is who the toddler is looking for. I watch her for the briefest of moments. Her face is perfect, albeit worried, but there’s a sweet soul within. She’s desperate to find her baby, and it breaks my heart.

“Miss, does this wee one … ” I begin as she snatches her out of my hands.

She cries as she runs all the way back to the park to get her stroller. It’s a real shame she’s married; she’s a beauty.

I take the train to Mom and Dad’s, I don’t want to mess with traffic. During my long ride, I can’t help but daydream about the beautiful woman from this morning. I’ve never been so drawn to someone before; she left quite an impression. Before I know it, the ride and the fantasy about the redhead, is over. Lach picks me up at the station.

“How’s everything, Wickham?”

“It’s going well, thanks, man.”

Our family has grown closer since all the drama a while back. Once I got my shit together and became the man I should be, everything else seemed to fall into place. I’ve never been closer to my parents, or Lach. I never divulged what I’ve been through; I just let them know I was getting some much-needed therapy. Lach is engaged, again, to the girl he’s been seeing for awhile. I’m really happy for them. He doesn’t have to ask anyone to keep an eye on her.

Lach and I work hard at prepping the walls to be painted that night, and we finish the job by noon. It’s a small house, and a small dining room, so even with some goofing off it was a fast job. Mom is thrilled, and insists we all stay for dinner. I have to work in the morning, but I decide to stay over. I’ll just have to get up at the crack of dawn to make it back on time.

The train is packed with commuters headed into the city. As it continues to drop off passengers downtown, the train’s load lightens a bit. I look up when the door opens, and see a familiar mess of color.

My redhead.

It would appear that she’s on her way home from a hard night of partying. Considering the guy she’s with is checking out the other guys, I’m guessing he’s not her husband. At least I hope for her sake he’s not. Her makeup is halfway down her face, and her clothes are rumpled. She’s still stunning to look at, at least to me. I can’t seem to pull my eyes from her.

She notices an ad up high above the windows and starts to scream at it. The person looks so different in the picture, but no doubt it’s her and her wee one. She’s being silly, and talking nonsense to the photo. Her “friend” is already passed out in a seat. The other passengers are annoyed, ready for her to shut up.

On instinct, I approach her to try and calm her down. She looks at me, and I think I see a small glimmer of recognition. Maybe that’s just wishful thinking. She willingly sits down with me, and I speak to her in a whisper to try to quiet her down. The riders seemed appeased. She’s safe.

One thing I’ve learned through yoga training, is how to calm people down without them realizing it. This little trick helps a great deal when doing my job. Speak to the person in question in a slow, measured cadence, and try to get her to breathe with you by letting her see or sense your body moving with each breath. She’ll begin to mimic the breathing rhythm without realizing it. Before you know it, the situation de-escalates into something easier to handle. This is less difficult to do if the person isn’t drunk, which she is.

I ask her about the photo and the little girl, and she gushes. She adores her baby, and my heart constricts upon hearing her express her devotion. I’ve given up judging other people, as much as is humanly possible, but I can’t help but wonder why she would be out with such a little one at home. Maybe it was a special occasion.

She doesn’t tell me her name, even though I ask a couple of times. I’m concerned she won’t make it home safely. Her snoozing partner-in-crime is about to slide out of his seat. I don’t think he’s going to be much help. We both rise when our stop is called. I was ready to stay on just in case she wasn’t getting off here. Her friend wakes up, and surprisingly assists her off the train. He must have called a cab when I wasn’t looking because he pours her into one waiting across the street from the station. I don’t even realize that I’m standing nearby staring at them until she throws me a wave. I’m embarrassed to have been caught, but I can’t take my eyes off of her. I should be escorting her home, instead of that asshole, to make sure she’s safe.

~Part Three~

Chapter 19

I’m frozen in place.

Is
this
why Wick wanted to bring me up here? To have a quiet place to tell me his life story? He’s silent for the first time in more than an hour. He told me his life story, and he’s poised on the edge of his chair like a cat about to spring. He’s nervous, waiting for me to speak.

He’s given me so much to process, I don’t where to jump in.

“Please, Becca, say something. You mean the world to me, and I need to know if you hate me. I can take you back home if you never want to see me again, and I’d completely understand. I’m not the same person I was back then.” He pleads at me with his eyes.

“I don’t know what to say, Wick. I had no idea that your situation went so deep. I just thought that maybe something physical was wrong or you were concerned I would hurt you if we consummated our relationship. Do you think that?”

“I’m scared to screw everything up with sex. Our time together is special to me, and I’ve worked hard for control over my sexual life. I’m attracted to you, and have been since that first day I saw you. I feel like I could lose myself in you and mess things up.” He approaches me slowly as he stares deeply into my eyes. “I love you, Rebecca.”