A Mother's Shame (3 page)

‘But . . . but what shall I do if you don’t stand by me?’ she faltered. ‘My father will kill me when he finds out – and you too! You know what a temper he has. There’s only one solution to this. We’ll have to get wed . . . an’ quick.’

Terror replaced the shock on his face as he considered the options. What would be worse, facing the wrath of Edward Mundy or tying himself to someone he didn’t love for the rest of his life?

Deciding that he needed time to think, he forced a smile to his face. ‘Happen yer right, gel. Sorry fer the way I reacted. It was just a bit of a shock when yer told me, that’s all. But here’s what we’ll do. You get yerself away home now an’ try an’ act as if nothin’s wrong. Then after work tomorrer, I’ll be round to see yer dad, eh?’

She smiled tremulously through her tears. ‘Do you really mean it, Lennie?’

‘Course I do. Now go on, get yerself away afore he realises yer not there.’ All the time he was talking he was backing away from her. She was longing to throw herself into his arms and tell him how very much she loved him, but realising that he needed time to come to terms with what she had told him, she nodded and reluctantly watched him turn about. In no time at all he had disappeared into the stormy night and she was left to make her way home alone. But still, at least he had said he would stand by her, and this time tomorrow the worst would be over and they would be planning their future together. The thought put a smile on her face and a spring in her step as she hurried home through the darkness.

By the time Maria arrived back at the cottage the sleety rain had stopped and a thick frost was forming. Martha had been predicting snow for days, and now as Maria shivered her way along the deserted lane she had no doubt that soon her mother would be proved to be right.

She was almost home when a fox suddenly shot from the bushes and ran across the lane in front of her, so close that she might have reached out and touched him. Maria’s heart leaped into her mouth and she had to pause to compose herself before hurrying on. It was the first time in her whole life that she had ever been out so late on her own, and it was not an experience she was enjoying. Thinking about it now, she thought how unlikely it was that she should find herself in this position, for her father was very strict and allowed her no freedom at all. But then he had no hold over her whilst she was working, and it was in her short lunch-breaks that the love affair between herself and Lennie had blossomed.

She flushed with pleasure in the darkness as she thought back to the first time he had entered the shop where she worked and the way his eyes had lit up at the sight of her. He was the first young man who had ever flattered her, and within days of their meeting she had fallen for him, hook, line and sinker.

She allowed her mind to drift back to every single moment they had spent together, and soon the dark trees lining the lane and the cries of the night animals were forgotten.

‘How do yer do? My name’s Lennie Glover. Can’t say as I’ve seen you in here before.’

Maria blushed prettily, casting a cautious glance across her shoulder to make sure that Mrs Everitt, the shopkeeper, was still in the back room having her lunch.

‘I haven’t been working here long,’ she admitted shyly. ‘My name is Maria. Maria Mundy.’

‘’Ere – your dad ain’t Minister Mundy, is he?’ Lennie asked.

When Maria nodded, he threw back his head and laughed, setting his thick dark hair dancing in a halo around his handsome face. ‘Well, stone the crows. I’d never have thought he’d be capable o’ producin’ a looker like you. No wonder he’s kept yer hidden fer so long.’

Maria’s blush darkened as he eyed her approvingly up and down.

‘Ever let you out of a night, does he?’

Maria’s head wagged from side to side under his scrutiny and when he leaned over the counter towards her she thought her heart would leap out of her chest. Just then, Mrs Everitt appeared from the door behind the counter and glared at him disapprovingly.

‘So what can we be doin’ fer you then, Lennie Glover?’ she asked icily.

‘Personally, not a thing,’ he retaliated. ‘But I’ve a list o’ things ’ere as me mother’s in need of, if yer’d be so kind.’

‘Maria, go into the back room and have your lunch. I’ll see to this,’ Mrs Everitt ordered, and bowing her head, Maria scuttled meekly away.

When she returned to the shop fifteen minutes later, Lennie was gone and Mrs Everitt was waiting for her with a face like a sour lemon.

‘That . . . young man who came in a while back,’ she said sternly. ‘I don’t want you havin’ nothin’ to do with him. Do yer hear me? He’s a bad ’un. In fact, the whole family is. His mother is nothin’ short of a— Well, let’s just say that she’ll never be a lady. I know yer father would have a fit if he knew you’d even spoken to Lennie Glover, so be warned, my girl.’

‘Yes, Mrs Everitt.’

‘Now get to and stack those shelves over there – and neatly, mind. I take a pride in my shop. It’s only a shame as I can’t choose who walks through the door. I’ve no doubt the Glovers have never so much as set foot in your father’s chapel. But then not everyone can be so godfearing as he is. You’re a lucky girl to have such a fine father.’

Maria wondered if Mrs Everitt would still have been of the same opinion if she knew what a vicious man her father could be at home, but wisely she held her tongue and hurried away to do as she was told.

Over the next few days, Lennie appeared at the shop every lunchtime – always when he was sure that Mrs Everitt was out of the way – and slowly, Maria felt herself falling in love with him. One day he asked, ‘Look, couldn’t yer tell the old biddy yer have an errand to run fer yer mam in yer lunch-break? The old dear needn’t be any the wiser an’ we could take a stroll over the fields where no one could see us.’

Maria chewed on her lip as she considered his request. She had never done anything dishonest before, but then the thought of some time alone with Lennie was very tempting.

‘All right,’ she said eventually. ‘I’ll meet you at the end of Plough Hill Road tomorrow at one o’clock. But I’ll only be able to be away half an hour at the very most.’

The smile he gave her set her pulses racing, and for the rest of the day, and night too for that matter, she could barely concentrate on anything.

The next morning at breakfast her mother raised her eyebrows as she noticed that Maria was dressed in her Sunday-best blouse and skirt.

‘I spilled something down my work clothes in the shop yesterday,’ Maria muttered by way of an explanation. She hated lying to her mother, but then how could she turn up to meet Lennie in her drab grey work dress?

The way his face broke into an approving smile when she met him made the lie worthwhile. As they began to stroll along Plough Hill Road he noticed the way her eyes darted fearfully from side to side and he asked, ‘Would yer rather we struck off across the fields?’

When she nodded numbly he took her small hand in his large one and guided her through a gap in the hedge. They found a tree and he gallantly laid down his coat for her to sit on under a leafless oak tree.

From then on she met him at least twice a week and soon she became adept at coming up with excuses to get away from the shop without making Mrs Everitt suspicious. She found herself living for those days and soon knew without a shadow of a doubt that she could not bear to lose him. It was on one such day in late October that the heavens opened as they strolled along and the rain came down in torrents.

‘Quick – let’s shelter in here.’ Taking her hand, Lennie dragged her towards a disused cattle shed on the outskirts of a field.

Once inside they laughed as they took off their saturated coats and shook the rain from them. And it was there that Lennie kissed her properly for the very first time as lightning lit up the sky and thunder rolled above them.

When his hand first roamed across her small firm breasts, Maria tensed and gazed at him from troubled eyes, but he was gentle and soon he had awakened feelings in her that she had never known she had.

‘It’ll be all right,’ he whispered. ‘It can’t be wrong if we love each other, can it? An’ I do love yer, Maria.’

His warm hand was working its way up her skirt leaving a trail of fire in its wake. Her mother and father had taught her that it was wrong to be alone with a boy before you were married, but as Lennie had said, they did love each other, so that surely made it all right.

When he unbuttoned her blouse and his hot lips closed around her erect nipple she was sure that she would die of pleasure, but then commonsense had taken over and she had somehow managed to stop him from going any further, much to his disgust. But then as she had told him, they had all the time in the world, and she knew that she was his girl forever then. Why else would he have tried to make love to her?

She was so lost in thought that it was almost a shock when the cottage where she lived loomed up out of the darkness in front of her, pulling her thoughts sharply back to the present.

Tiptoeing round to the back door, she breathed a sigh of relief when the doorknob turned easily in her freezing hand. Slipping soundlessly into the kitchen, she shut the door softly behind her and paused to listen. There was only silence – so she swiftly pulled off her damp clothes and tossed them over the large wooden clothes-horse that stood in front of the banked-down fire. Then, quiet as a mouse, she crept up the stairs in her petticoat and sidled into her bedroom. Emma was still fast asleep and in the moonlight that winked though a crack in the curtain she looked like a little angel. Maria crept in beside her, revelling in the warmth of her sister’s tiny body, then she tossed and turned the night away as she thought of the day ahead.

It was hard to concentrate at work the following day, and to make matters worse, Mrs Everitt was in a terrible mood.

‘Maria, watch what yer doin’!’ she ranted. ‘Yer were just about to fill the sugar barrel up wi’ salt.’

‘Sorry, Mrs Everitt,’ Maria apologised, as the small portly woman glared at her with her hands on her hips.

Patting the tight grey bun that balanced precariously on the back of her head, the woman tutted her disapproval. ‘I don’t know what’s got into yer today,’ she complained. ‘Yer give Mrs Wilkes the wrong change not an hour since, an’ yer know how she of all me customers watches every penny.’

‘Sorry, Mrs Everitt.’

‘Will yer please stop sayin’ sorry an’ concentrate on yer work, girl! Are yer losin’ yer marbles or what? You’ll be a candidate fer Hatter’s Hall at this rate.’

Maria shuddered at the thought. Hatter’s Hall was a mental asylum on the outskirts of Ansley Common. It was a dark forbidding place, shunned by the locals, particularly at night when the howls of the poor souls who had been committed there echoed eerily around the tall brick walls that surrounded it.

As a child, Maria’s father would threaten her with Hatter’s Hall if she was naughty. ‘I’ll take you and leave you there if you don’t learn to behave,’ he would bellow, and even now the very mention of the place could strike terror into Maria’s heart.

Luckily, the shop door opened just then and Mrs Everitt turned her attention to her customer, all sweetness and light.

‘Ah, Mrs James. An’ what can I be gettin’ yer, dear?’

Maria scuttled away to compose herself and for the rest of the day tried to keep out of the older woman’s way.

By the time the shop closed her nerves were at breaking point. She had hoped that Lennie might call in at lunchtime, but she had seen neither hide nor hair of him all day. Still, she consoled herself, no doubt he was telling his mother and making plans before he called on her father that night.

When Edward Mundy did finally make an appearance that evening, he too was in a filthy mood, made worse by the fact that the meal was dry because he was late for it. The children were silent as they eventually gathered around the table for Grace, then their mother gallantly fought to scrape the dried-up hare pie from the dish as he glared at it in disdain.

‘Couldn’t we have some bread and dripping instead?’ Henry dared to ask as he eyed the shrivelled food with dismay.

‘You Godless ungrateful boy,’ his father shouted. ‘There are many sitting with nothing in their bellies tonight so just be grateful for what you have and let me hear no more.’

The whole family made a valiant attempt to eat the meal in front of them but it stuck in their throats and Martha had to keep rising from the table to fill the water jug.

At last the meal was over and Maria rose to help her mother clear the pots into the sink whilst Edward threw himself into the fireside chair.

‘May I ask what detained you?’ Martha asked tentatively.

Edward sniffed. ‘I was called to Hatter’s Hall to say a few words over an infant that died there.’

‘How awful – the poor little mite.’ Martha’s kind heart was saddened at the news but Edward almost bit her head off.

‘Awful my foot! The child was a flyblow, born to one of the unmarried mothers there. It didn’t deserve to live. It was a child of sin. It will be buried in unhallowed ground within the confines of the Hall grounds. The only shame is that the mother didn’t die too.’

The colour drained from Maria’s face and she had to hold onto the edge of the deep stone sink to keep from fainting with terror. This evening was definitely
not
going to be easy. Thank God that Lennie had promised to stand by her or it might have been
her
incarcerated in that dreadful place. Rumour had it that many of the inmates at the Hall were unmarried mothers – locked away there and forgotten for all time by families who could not bear the shame of what their daughters had done.

Glancing at the tin clock on the mantelpiece, she offered up a silent prayer.
Please come soon, Lennie, and get this over with.
Turning back to the sink she then began to scrub salt into the bottom of the pots as if her very life depended on it.

When her father began his Bible-reading at eight o’clock with still no sign of Lennie, it took every ounce of willpower Maria had to look as if she were listening to what he was saying.