A New Day (65 page)

     “
The pleasure has been all mine!  I hope I’ll get to see you again before you leave.”  Elaine hinted.

     “
I hope so, too.”  Tasha agreed.  “I'll be in touch.  Goodnight, Elaine.”

     Tasha tossed and turned, much of the night.  Now that Elaine had helped her clear most of the cobwebs, she was aching for Tim.  She was kicking herself for her stupidity, in dangling him and rejecting him.  She kept going over their last phone conversation, and agonizing.  Had she wounded him terribly?  The thought gave her heartache.  And, she knew in her heart, she had hurt him deeply. She knew he'd have gone through anything, just to have her heart and her loyalty.  And, those are the two things she had denied him.

    
To be truthful, she knew she’d been nothing more then a terrible trial to Tim since the day they’d met.  As she rested quietly, she could feel his pain.  She was certain he was hurting inside, though it probably didn’t show to those around him.  He hid it well, but she was learning how to tune in to him.  And, it was her fault that he was in this fix.

    
She sighed and closed her eyes.  “Dear God, bless Timothy tonight.  Be with him, and give him strength.  None of this is his doing.  Make his prophecy come true, Lord.  Let it be that you will use this mess, for good.  Please, be faithful to Tim’s heart.” 

    
"Let him not suffer any more, because of me – I’m really not worth it.  But since he seems to be so intent on me, show me what to do, Lord.  Please.”  She whispered.  “I’ll say yes to Timothy, if I still have the chance.  Please let me have one more chance.  I'll do what you want.  I'll finally, really trust you.” she promised.

    
The limousine came for her at eleven.  She was wearing the green suit boldly, though she felt no such confidence.  She had her hair done, and went to a good makeup specialist on her way to the studio.  She arrived with only ten minutes to spare, as she’d planned.  They took her to a waiting room, and left her alone with her nerves. 

    
She said a quick prayer that felt totally inadequate.  “Lord, give me the words to say.  Tim doesn’t deserve this.  Please, help me vindicate him.”

    
A woman came for her, and led her to the wings.  She was being introduced, and it was not nice.  Her teeth set on edge as she stood and listened.

     “
Tension is building day by day in the most recent debate rocking the Christian World.  It is centered around Prophetic Evangelist Timothy Rain.  With an image that has been spotless, Mr. Rain has taken a real fall in this scandal.  He has been accused of inappropriate behavior if not fornication with a young, beautiful widow from Salt Lake City.  Reporter Pattie Danniels has been hot on the trail, pulling skeletons out of lovely widow Tasha Taylor’s closet, like taking candy from a jar.” 

     “
Today, we have the unprecedented pleasure of hearing the story directly from the woman behind it all:  the very woman Timothy Rain has fallen for, no pun intended.  Please welcome Tasha Charles Taylor.”

    
Tasha forced a pleasant look to her face and walked onto the stage with her head held high.  There was no applause as she shook Norman’s hand and sat down.

     “
Well, Tasha.  I hope I may call you Tasha.  You know, I can see how this all happened.  You are an incredibly beautiful and sexy woman.”  Norman bantered, with a suggestive chuckle.

    
Tasha gave him a cold, steely look.

     “
What made you decide to come on the show, Tasha?  What do you hope to accomplish today?”  Norman pressed eagerly.

     “
I am here to present the truth, as Tim tried to do several weeks ago in New York.  Tim has walked in absolute integrity since the day I met him.  He does not deserve the smearing that he has received, and I hope to clear up any misconceptions that may have been given about him; and about our relationship.” 

    
"What Tim is doing in the lives of people around the world is phenomenal; and very much needed.  In order for his ministry to continue in purity and power, this must be laid to rest.  I guess I'm the only one who can do that."

     “
Courageous.”  Norman marveled.  “So let’s start with you and Tim.  Where and when did you meet?”

     “
On a ski lift in Utah.  He was there for a conference.  He felt led to invite me to come to the meetings.”

     “
How interesting.  So you went with him, and before the conference was over he was kissing you with a cast of thousands watching?”

             
Tasha felt her cheeks flame.  “Hardly.  I think that the only person watching him kiss me, was Pattie Danniels.  Apparently Miss Danniels was following us."

     “
So, he made his intentions known and he made love to you in public.  But tell us when you next saw Timothy Rain.”

    
"Excuse me, he did not make love to me in public.  Tim has never done more than kiss me.  And precious few times, at that.  He is an absolute gentleman."  She insisted hotly.   “Everything that has been said about us, has been grossly exaggerated.”

    
"Tell us about the next time you saw him."  Norman persisted.

     “
He came to visit us at our home in Salt Lake City.”  She answered tensely.

     “
What was his purpose for being in Salt Lake?”  Norman pumped  eagerly.

     “
He came to spend time with us, as far as I know.”

     “
So the very next time he saw you, he gave Pattie Danniels the opportunity to take those incredibly steamy pictures?”  He asked incredulously.

    
The studio audience hooted.

    
Tasha forced herself to stay calm.  “I guess that depends on your viewpoint.  First, there were about a hundred letters and a few dozen phone calls.  Tim stayed in almost constant contact with me.  We got to know one another quite a bit better, in the months that followed the conference.  Also, that night at my house, I can assure you that sex was the last thing on Tim’s mind.  When those pictures were taken, I had upset Tim terribly.”   

    
"But, I do understand that what the natural eye saw in the pictures would look bad, without having been there to know what was really happening.  I am just so sorry that I put Tim in this position.”

     “
Huh.”  Norman huffed in a bored voice.  “So what’s your version?”

     “
I had gone to speak to Tim, in his room.  To say goodnight.  I went in wearing my night clothes under a kimono, as kind of a gauntlet.  I was perturbed with him, and vexed because he had come to visit.  My dear housekeeper told me I was a fool if I didn't 'go for it' with Tim; but I didn't really know how to go about that.  Then, I got the idea to try to scare him off.” 

    
"You see; I have only been widowed about four years, and having Timothy around made me extremely panicky.  I wasn’t quite ready to be courted by a man like Tim Rain.  I thought that if I put him to the challenge, he would back off and go away.” 

    
"I thought that a man like Tim would be disgusted if I tried to compromise him.  I thought it would end … my torment.  Of having him near.  Of his ideas that we should be married."  

    
Tasha looked at her hands, and steadied her nerves.  She could feel the blush spreading up her cheeks as the audience murmured their shocked reaction.   "I wanted him to back off, and I was finally ready to take the risk that he’d take me up on it.  I was betting he wouldn't.  I was at a place where I knew I was in love with him, but I was afraid to get married again.  I was afraid of any deep commitment.  It was a calculated risk, and I lost.  I really thought I could scare him away, if I came on to him."

     “
Well, this is fascinating,” Norman guffawed.  “So you are not that awfully interested in Timothy Rain?”

     “
I did not say that, at all.  It’s just that he came into my life very suddenly.  I was extremely alarmed.  And as I explained, I really wasn’t ready to tangle with any man.” 

    
"Tim is really kind of overwhelming to me, in many ways.  I truly hoped to shock him into giving me some space.  I was just scared.  I figured either he'd take the bait, or else leave.  Either way, I thought it would ease the pressure I was feeling.  To be perfectly honest, I knew that Timothy wouldn’t take the bait.  I thought he’d back off.  That's all I could think about, at the moment.
”

     “
You didn’t look scared in those photos,” Norman accused.  “But you ended up in an argument, so I understand?”

     “
Not an argument, really.”  She denied.  “Well; actually, I guess we did.  Tim just did not react as I anticipated.  He rebuked me strongly for coming to his room.  He didn’t back off.  I was shocked to find that he wasn’t at all intimidated by the sight of me in my nightie.”

    
"I was very ashamed and confused, and embarrassed.  I of course figured he would be displeased,  but I had no idea how humiliating and painful it would be, to suffer his displeasure.  I didn’t know until that moment that … that he could hurt me with his words, and his displeasure.  I didn’t know that I cared so much.”

    
No one who could see Tasha’s face or hear her voice, doubted that she was telling the absolute truth.  The stain of humiliation remained on her face as she spoke about that moment.  The studio was absolutely silent.

     “
He could see that I was not dealing with the harshness of his words.  He truly did not want to hurt me, and he could see that something was not adding up.  He could see that I was sorry, so he followed me to my room, to settle things.  He felt, rightly, that it had to be dealt with immediately.  If he had not done that, it would have been the end of our relationship.  I was very upset.  And although it wasn't exactly proper for him to follow me to my room, believe me...”

    
She swallowed hard, before she was able to go on.

     “
Tim had absolutely no intention of making love to me.  He'd already seen me in that get-up when I went to his room, and he threw me out.  It was no big deal for him to follow me back to my room and see me in it, again.  I was totally humiliated.  He wouldn't even let his eyes stray from my face.  Everybody who's seen those pictures has seen more of me, than Timothy ever saw saw that night."
     Tasha bent her head.  “I had laid down on my bed, and I was crying.  He came in, and took me onto his lap as if I were a child.  He just held me for a long time, while I cried.  That's the only reason the bed cover was mussed.  And, as Tim said when he did his interview, he did not close my bedroom door behind him.  He left it open, to allay any temptations, or any suspicion that he was doing anything inappropriate.”

    
"Pattie had to wait a long time to get a picture of him kissing me.  He is the most patient man I’ve ever met.  When I began to pull myself together, he began talking to me.  He told me many things that night, but not one of them had to do with 'fornication'.”     

     “
He began by explaining to me why he’d rebuked me, and he asked my forgiveness for hurting my feelings.  He had only come to my room to try to mend the damage.  Of course, then he kissed me.  He loves me.” she admitted with clear agony in her voice.  "When I had calmed down, he wanted to reassure me that he loves me, and that he wasn't angry at me." 

    
"While Pattie stood outside waiting to catch Tim in a compromising position, Tim was telling me that Jesus will always be first in his life.  He was begging me to understand his dedication.  It made me angry; but even after all that, he still wanted me to marry him.  He is totally innocent in this.  I was not."

    
"At one point during our discussion, I got up from his lap and walked to the windows to look out at the deck and the city.  I'll bet that gave Pattie Danniels a start!  I sure wish we'd seen her skulking around on the deck.  But anyway, Tim followed me, and held me in his arms.  He tried to reassure me that he loves me and that he simply couldn't take any shortcuts in our relationship.  That's all that went on.” 

    
"When Tim refused to put me first in his life, I showed him the door.  The next morning he left, and I ..."  tears choked Tasha.  "I wouldn't even say goodbye to him."

    
You could have heard a pin drop in that studio.  Tasha took a deep breath and went on. 

     “
The ironic part of this, is that Tim really doesn’t care what Pattie Danniels, or anyone else thinks.  He wants to walk as purely as he can … because he loves God, and for no other reason.  He knows that only God is his true judge.” 

     “
But he does long to be used to touch the hearts of people of all nations, and bring them to restoration with the Father.  What has happened because of my foolishness,
must
not hinder that work.  What Tim is doing must not stop, just because I pulled a childish stunt.  He is a man of incredible integrity and devotion.  What Pattie Danniels caught on film, was only a test that Tim Rain passed through with flying colors.”