A Paper Marriage (15 page)

They dined out again that night. Jonah had a part-time live-out housekeeper who saw to it that Yourk House was kept up to the mark. `Mrs. Allen would have come in this weekend, but I thought we'd manage fine by ourselves,' Jonah confided, going on, `Doubtless you'll want to organize household matters your own way when we return from our honeymoon. I'm sure Mrs. Allen will be pleased to work to suit you.'

`From what I can see, Mrs. Allen is doing a first-class job without any input from me. But I'll be glad to talk matters over with her,' Lydie replied, inwardly thanking him for trying to make the transition from daughter of one house to mistress of another smooth for her.

They returned to Yourk House after dinner, Lydie refusing the offer of coffee or any other beverage but offering to make coffee for Jonah if he fancied a cup. He shook his head. `How are you feeling now?' he asked, once they were relaxing in his drawing room. `You were a little strung up when I called for you yesterday.'

`It's amazing what a little over twenty-four hours can do,' she replied. `I must have needed to get away for a short while.' She smiled across at him. `If I get to feel any more relaxed, I'll fall over.' Jonah smiled too, his glance on her mouth, moving to her eyes, then back down to her lips again. Then Lydie was recalling the way he'd checked his mail in his study before lunch. `Is there some work you should be doing? Don't let me stop...'

`You're trying to get rid of me,' he accused. `Not at all!' she answered, but, having enjoyed being with him so much, she started to feel guilty about having monopolised so much of his time. `I think I'll make tracks for bed,' she decided, and wished she'd kept her mouth shut when he did not argue.

She got to her feet, and Jonah followed suit, walking with her to the door. When he stopped at the door but instead of opening it just stood looking down at her, so Lydie realised that because this weekend together had brought them closer, they were now `kissing fianc�s'.

'Er-goodnight,' she said, and took a step nearer to him, her heart drumming that new beat. She raised her face to his, and he bent, and he kissed her.

`Goodnight,' he answered gravely, and abruptly opened the door for her to go through.

Lydie took another shower before getting into her nightdress and climbing into the four-poster. She and Jonah would be all right, wouldn't they? He was kind, considerate and, while he did not love her-did love matter? And if it did matter that he would never love her, what then? She would still have to marry him. For her father, if not for herself, she would have to marry Jonah. She fell asleep knowing that above all else, when she and Jonah were married, she must guard against him learning of the love she had for him. Perhaps, given time, Jonah might come to care a little for her, but, remembering where his tastes lay- Freya whatever-her-name-was, for one Lydie didn't hold out much hope. He was happy to choose someone unsophisticated to be the mother of his children, but when it came to playmates women like Freya would win every time.

Having gone to sleep feeling not all that happy with her thoughts, nor with matters she could do nothing about, Lydie awoke with a start to find that it was morning, and that Jonah was in her room and had just placed a cup of tea down in her bedside table.

Instantly the sun came out for her and she struggled to sit up. `I thought you liked to lie in on a Sunday morning!' she exclaimed, and felt at once all fluttering inside when Jonah bent down and, his fingers scorching her skin, casually put her slipped shoulder strap back in place.

`You remembered.' He grinned. `I thought I should return yesterday morning's tea compliment.' And, while her heart played a merry tune within her, 'Hotch over,' he ordered, and as she moved over to make room he sat down on the side of the bed facing her. `Sleep well?' he asked.

`Like a top,' she replied, having no idea what a top was, but having heard the expression somewhere, and very conscious of the virility of him, the smattering of hair on his chest showing through the neck of his short robe. Br-it looks like being a nice day,' she said hurriedly.

`Which reminds me I have to be in London late this afternoon. I thought we'd have a leisurely morning and have lunch somewhere on the way back to your place?'

`Fine,' she agreed.

`I've a busy two weeks ahead of me and might be a bit pushed to see you. But if anything crops up, or you think of something you feel you may have a problem with, let my PA know. She'll know where to contact me-I'm on the move in foreign climes,' he explained.

`I think my mother's got most everything the way she wants it,' Lydie answered, already starting to feel desolate that he would be out of the country for the next two weeks.

`Apart from your bouquet,' Jonah teased.

`And the invitation list my mother wants closed but keeps thinking of other people we just have to invite. Your mother's doing the same, apparently.'

`So I believe,' he commented, revealing to Lydie that she wasn't the only one on the receiving end of motherly gripes. Though his expression had suddenly become stern when he said, `My mother showed me the latest update to the invitation list your mother faxed her.' His tone had altered and Lydie knew something was wrong, even before he said, `I wasn't going to bring it up-mainly because I couldn't believe my suspicions. But, since we're talking invitations, who's this Charles Hillier you've invited?'

Lydie stared at Jonah, her spirits taking a dive. `You know quite well who he is,' she replied solemnly.

`I thought we agreed you were going to dump him?"

'He's my friend!' she protested. `And I never agreed to "dump" him, as you call it. He's Donna's brother and-'

`And your one-time lover!' Jonah cut her off, somewhat aggressively she thought. `He's not my lover!' she denied sharply, pulling the bed covers up over her shoulders defensively.

'He was!'

`He never was!' she retorted, outraged.

`You've slept with him!' Jonah replied, his eyes glittering a darker blue.

`Who told you that?' she demanded, feeling amazed. All this because she hadn't obeyed orders and `dumped' a good friend?

`You did!' Jonah answered curtly, his chin jutting at an aggressive angle.

`When?' she challenged hostilely.

`You said, and I quote, "I stayed over with Charlie"-which meant you'd slept over at his place with him.'

Lydie felt a touch awkward as she recalled how she had known at the time that Jonah had thought Charlie was her boyfriend but from some peculiar sense of pride she had declined to put him straight on that issue.

`If you remember that then you'll also remember I told you people are always misinterpreting me!'

Jonah studied her, his expression unsmiling. `You're saying now that you did not spend the night at his place?"

'I'm not saying that at all!' she denied. `I've stayed over at Charlie Hillier's place several times when I've been in London and it's been late or more convenient to stay over with Charlie in preference to driving to wherever...' She shrugged. Love Jonah though she did, she did not want this conversation. `I know you said we should talk of all sorts without embarrassment,' she told him coldly, `but I'm not happy with this conversation.'

His look said Tough and his voice was terse when, clearly not a man who enjoyed being messed about, `Tell me straight, Lydie Pearson,' he demanded, `have you ever had sex with this man?'

She resented his question. The day had seemed to start off so wonderfully-how had it become so ghastly? `It's none of your business who I had sex with or did not have sex with before you and I became engaged!' she told him haughtily. `And I'd be glad if you'd get out of my room!'

'I'll get out when I'm ready,' he gritted icily. `And I'm making it my business!'

`On what basis?' she challenged angrily. Love him she might, but honestly!

`On the basis that there'll be no one in that church a week next Saturday with whom I've slept. I should have thought common courtesy would decree you'd do me the same honour.'

Any further argument she might have found collapsed without trace. It was a pride thing! He was doing her the courtesy of not putting her in the position of having to shake hands with any of his bed-friends; pride demanded that he did not have to shake hands with any of her lovers.

Oh, Jonah! `I had-when I stayed at Charlie's place-I had my own room,' she admitted at last. `Charlie and I were never lovers. I slept alone. He is what I told you he is-a friend.'

Some of the aggressiveness left Jonah's expression, but he still did not seem totally convinced. `You're a very beautiful woman, Lydie,' he commented, and, as if it was the only conclusion that would fit, `Does this Charlie, your friend, have some kind of a sexual hang-up?' Lydie was about to tell Jonah of Charlie's extreme shyness, but as if remembering her reaction, her consternation of yesterday when she had touched his naked chest, fingered his nipples, plus his surmise that she had not had many lovers, all at once Jonah was staring at her as if with new eyes. `Or, Lydie, is it you?' he asked.

`W-what?'

`Do you have something against sex?' he pressed.

In view of the fact that they were to be married in under two weeks' time, Lydie supposed it was a fair question. That still did not make her feel any more comfortable with the subject, though.

She dropped her eyes down to the coverlet. `I w-wouldn't know,' she replied huskily.

There was a pause and, when she would not raise her eyes, movement. And the next Lydie knew, Jonah had moved close and had taken a hold of her hands in his. `You wouldn't know?' he questioned quietly. And, when she couldn't find her tongue, `I know you're embarrassed with this subject,' he went on, `and that traces of the paralysing shyness you've fought so valiantly to overcome still occasionally trip you up, but I honestly think this is a subject we should air.'

`I know you're right,' she whispered. `And, and I've wanted to tell you because, because I felt you should know-' She broke off. Even her ears felt a fiery red.

`Know what?' Jonah asked, any aggressiveness gone completely, only understanding there in his eyes when, placing a hand beneath her chin, he raised her head and made her look at him. `What is it you felt I should know?" 'Oh, Jonah,' she wailed, `I feel such a fool.'

`Share it with me,' he coaxed gently.

And at his tone, knowing if she went any redder she would burst into flames, Lydie found the courage to tell him. `I've no idea if I've a sexual hang up or not, because I've-er-I've-um never tried-um-sex.'

Jonah's reaction was to at first look totally taken aback, and then, still appearing shaken, a warm melting look came into his eyes. `Oh, sweet Lydie,' he murmured. `Are you saying you have never-ever-made love with anyone?"

'D-does that make me a freak?'

He smiled. `It makes you a joy,' he answered, and just sat looking at her for ageless moments until, a wealth of good humour there, `Given that this is still a non-committed weekend, how do you feel about a little experimenting?' he queried.

`Oh, J-Jonah,' she stammered nervously.

`There's nothing to worry about-I won't let it go too far,' he assured her. And, that smile playing around the corners of his mouth, `Did we have our morning kiss?' he asked.

Lydie swallowed. `You've forgotten already?' she attempted, and heard his light laugh. Then, unhurriedly, Jonah was reaching for her.

It was a gentle kiss, at first. She felt his warm touch as he gathered her to him and their lips met. And, more because she wanted to meet him all of halfway in this experiment, Lydie placed her arms around him.

Jonah raised his head to look deeply into her green eyes but, seeing no fear there, only shyness to be nightdress-clad and in his arms, he tenderly laid his mouth over hers again.

Lydie felt his hands warm at her back as they stroked in gentle rhythm. Then his kiss was starting to deepen. It was a heady kiss, and for a moment Lydie was terribly unsure and held back. But because she adored him, and was starting to love these moments of close intimacy, when his arms firmed about her and he held her closer so she moved that little way forward, and held him close.

Excitement started to spiral upwards in her, mingling with love and tenderness for him. He traced delicate kisses down the side of her face, then to her throat, and she clutched at him when he trailed more kisses down to her shoulder.

When he moved the strap of her nightdress down, kissing over her shoulder and down to the swell of her breast, and she felt his lips on that part of her breast that was uncovered, so love for him tangled with modesty and shyness, and she pushed at him slightly.

Immediately Jonah raised his head, drawing back a little, his eyes on her eyes. `You're still not ready for my kisses, Lydie?' he asked, reminding her of the way, when she had agreed to marry him, she had said she didn't think she was ready for his kisses just yet.

`It isn't that,' she replied honestly. `I'm just well-feeling a bit-all at sea. Perhaps I should go and put some clothes on.'

His answer was to smile a teasing kind of smile, `Oh, Lydie, Lydie,' he murmured softly. `I don't-hmm-think you're quite getting the hang of this.'

Naturally, as the implication of that remark hit her, Lydie felt pink again. Jonah was meaning that in this instance she should be thinking more in terms of taking clothes off than in putting clothes on. She took a shaky breath and, looking at him, felt her heart swell with love for him. `Teach me,' she whispered, and for long, long, rapturous minutes knew utter bliss when tenderly Jonah drew her to him and, after first burying his face in her tousled dark hair, showered her with gentle, exquisite, kisses until she felt she would literally swoon away.