A Preacher's Passion (16 page)

“Uh, hi, everybody,” Joni said, recovering first and answering in her generally bubbly tone. She immediately saw the resemblance between Princess and her parents. “This must be your mom and dad. Hi,” she continued, walking over with hand outstretched. “I’m Joni, and this is my boyfriend, Brandon.”

King and Tai introduced themselves as they shook Brandon’s and Joni’s hands. “Nice to meet you,” they all mumbled. Brandon made a hasty exit to his bedroom.

Joni tried for conversation. “That’s a nice outfit, Mrs. Brook,” she said. “How do you guys like California? Is this your first trip out here? Oh my goodness, listen to me ramble. Are you guys staying for dinner or going out or—”

“We were just leaving,” King replied.

“Oh, well.” Joni began backing toward the hall to her and Brandon’s bedroom. “Then I, uh, guess we’ll hang out next time. Nice meeting you!” she said before almost running around the corner.

Tai walked over to Princess and hugged her tightly. She held back tears as she rubbed her hand across Princess’s back, tears of remembrance, of how she was just a little older than Princess when she’d gotten pregnant with Michael. And how she too thought she knew everything when she’d made her choices.

“I love you, Princess,” she said as she broke the embrace and stepped back from her daughter. “I’ll be praying for you, for everyone. I wish I’d said more sooner, shared a bit more of my life. Maybe that would have affected a different outcome here, I don’t know. It’s too late for woulda, coulda, shouldas now.” She whispered one last comment in her daughter’s ear, then reached for her purse on the couch and headed toward the foyer.

King walked over and hugged his daughter. “Don’t cut us out, Princess,” he said. “Stay in touch with your mother, take her calls. No matter what happens, we’re family. Nothing is more important than that.”

King took a deep breath and walked over to Kelvin. “Don’t hurt my daughter,” he said simply, and exited the room.

Kelvin and Princess watched through the window as her parents got in their rental car and drove off. Princess slowly turned into the arms of her man. “You’re not going to hurt me, are you, Kelvin?” she asked timidly, sounding very much like the little girl for whom her parents were mourning the loss.

“Naw, girl,” Kelvin replied, hoping the scent of Fawn’s perfume was not on his clothes. “I got you, baby,” he said, pulling Princess into a tighter embrace. “I got you.”

Princess held onto Kelvin as if he were a lifeline, so tight that she couldn’t tell where his heartbeat began and hers ended. As Kelvin began to nibble on her ears, and caress her booty, her mother’s parting words fluttered into her thoughts.
Baby, I just hope that since you’re now embracing grown folk’s pleasure, you are also ready to handle grown folk’s pain.

Lavon repositioned Carla and entered her from behind with one smooth stroke. He remained still for a moment before resuming the timeless dance of love. Carla moaned her appreciation, pressing her buttocks firmly against him, joining him in the dance.

“Did you miss me, baby?” he whispered in her ear. “Did you miss this?” A deep penetration accompanied each word. He reached around and grabbed her breast, gently massaging first one nipple, and then the other. “I’m going to give it to you real good, nice and slow, make up for the weeks I’ve been gone.”

“Oh yes, baby, just like that, just like that!” Carla whispered. Lavon felt perfect inside her, putting her mind in a sex-induced daze.

After intense orgasms, both were quiet as they caught their breaths, marveling at the happiness they felt in each other’s arms. Carla had barely been able to contain her excitement as she got her kids off to school and Stanley off to his weeklong revival engagement in Seattle, Washington. She probably shouldn’t have, but she thanked God for the timing of Lavon’s return matching Stanley’s departure.

“Man, what have you done to me?” she asked, turning over and wiping a bead of sweat off Lavon’s broad forehead. She wondered what it was about this average-looking man that did such above-average things to her mind, body, and soul.

“Well, if you have to ask,” Lavon responded, “then I probably need to do it again.”

“I’m serious,” Carla said. She sat up against the bed’s headboard and covered herself with the top sheet. “This moment is all I’ve thought about since you called. You were on my mind the entire time you were away. What are we going to do?”

Lavon sat up beside her. He took her hand in his. “I honestly don’t know,” he said, looking down at her hand and rubbing it gently. “I’ve never felt this way before, not with my baby’s mother, not with my wife.” He turned to look at Carla. “I have no right to you, to interfere in your marriage and family, yet…”

“I know,” Carla said softly. “I’ve turned the situation over and over in my mind. I know we should stop seeing each other but…being with you has helped me become honest with myself. And the truth of the matter is, I haven’t been happy with my life for a long time. Don’t get me wrong; I love Stanley, my children, the church. But I’ve been using those things to fill a place in my heart that was empty until you came. I used the SOS ministry to try and fill the void in my heart and in my marriage.

“Stanley and I are good friends, and our marriage more like a business partnership. He makes the money, I take care of home and we co-run the ministry. I’d never want to hurt him, but I don’t know if I can go back to life before you. I just don’t know….”

They were silent a moment, finding comfort in each other’s embrace. Then Lavon kissed Carla’s cheek, rolled out of bed, and put on his shorts. He stood over Carla a moment, taking in all that he loved about her, before turning away from her. “I have something to tell you.”

Carla’s heart jumped.
Is this it? Is he going to tell me it’s over? Is this the last sex instead of the last supper?
Carla could barely get the word out. “What?”

Lavon turned and sat at the edge of the bed. “I slept with somebody else while I was here before, someone at your church. We didn’t have actual sex, but we were intimate. It happened the week you told me it was over between us, that you couldn’t see me anymore. Someone else was available, and I tried to forget about you by being with her.”

“Passion Perkins,” Carla said evenly.

Lavon’s eyes widened. “How did you know?”

“Haven’t you heard of a woman’s radar? That and the funny way she’s acted toward me lately. I’ve caught her staring at me with a strange look in her eyes. The first thing I thought was that you’d been with her or if you hadn’t, she wanted you to.”

“That’s not all.”

“Oh Lord, what else?”

“She knows about you, about us.”

At this news, Carla got out of bed. She reached for her teddy and covered her nakedness. This was not a conversation to have in the nude. “You told her?”

“She saw us, one night when you came to the hotel. She saw you come in, waited, and saw us when I walked you out. I didn’t deny you’d been at the hotel but I told her things weren’t always as they appeared.”

“And I bet she believed that as much as I believe in Santa Claus.”

“She didn’t make too big a deal out of it, said it was between us and God. But, Carla, I only spent the night once at her house. The moment you came back to me, I broke it off, told her my heart belonged to someone else.”

Carla’s eyes narrowed. Her stomach lurched. Not because Lavon had been with someone else; married women having affairs couldn’t demand monogamy. No, her reaction was because she felt something coming around the corner, and its name was trouble. “We’ve got a problem.”

Lavon sighed. “We’ve had a problem ever since I fell in love with a married woman.”

“That’s true,” Carla agreed. “And a married woman fell in love with someone other than her husband. What are we going to do?”

“What do you want to do?”

“Honestly? I want to divorce Stanley and marry you. There, I said it.”

“Spending my life with you would be my dream come true. But what about your kids and the ministry?”

“My life is not my ministry; Logos Word will go on. But the kids…I don’t know.”

“And then there are the Sanctity of Sisterhood conferences,” Lavon continued. “You’re one of the primary speakers. What will women say about one of their leaders, their examples, getting a divorce?”

“They’ll talk about me like a dog but I can’t worry about that. People talked about Jesus and He knew no sin. And He, not me, should be their example.” Carla went on, almost talking to herself. “That’s part of the problem—putting preachers on pedestals, expecting us to be God. We are all sinners saved by grace. And if I ever fall off the throne somebody has put me on, I’ll be the first one to ask for forgiveness.

“People are quick to judge. They see your glory, but don’t know your story. I’ve sacrificed who I am for ten years, experienced the loneliness, tamped down my natural desires to be physically fulfilled. And I don’t regret it. Stanley’s a good man. He just doesn’t understand intimacy and doesn’t like sex.” Tears welled up in Carla’s eyes as she continued to talk. “I’ve asked him about it, begged at times for us to get counseling.

“But it doesn’t matter. What’s happening now, between you and me, isn’t his fault. I should have pushed harder for me and him to get what you and I have now. But instead I focused on the kids, the church, and now…” Overcome with emotion, Carla couldn’t go on.

“Hey, baby, there now, don’t cry.” Lavon pulled Carla into his arms. “It’s gonna be all right. Everything’s gonna be all right.”

Carla desperately wanted to believe Lavon’s words. But she was a wife, mother, and minister in love with another man. She wondered if anything in her world would ever be all right again.

Lavon whistled as he walked down the boulevard near the home he’d found to rent in Studio City. He liked the ambiance of the area—cozy enough to elicit a small-town feel but large enough to maintain a city vibe. He especially liked being around the corner from Ventura Boulevard, a main road that featured shops, eateries, theaters, and other convenient businesses.

The surroundings, however, were not the reason for the song in Lavon’s heart or the pep in his step. No, that reason was a woman named Carla Lee. Lavon changed from whistling to singing the lyrics that had rolled around in his head ever since Carla had left his bedroom, a song from one of his favorite artists and fellow Minnesotans, Prince: “Until the end of time, I’ll be there for you; you own my heart and mind…” That, Lavon realized, was at the heart of the matter of his feelings for Carla—he adored her. And he’d do anything to make her happy, and to make her his.

Lavon pondered all this as he walked toward Bistro Garden, a quaint French cuisine restaurant he’d discovered shortly after moving into the area. He’d wanted Carla to join him for dinner but aside from having to get home to her children, she was paranoid about anyone seeing them. It was enough that Passion knew.

Lavon was just entering the restaurant when the loud, continuous blare of a car horn stopped him.
Carla!
A smile filled Lavon’s face as he turned.

“Hey, you!” Passion said as she ran toward him. When she reached him, she enveloped him in a bear hug, excited, out of breath, and talking a mile a minute. “I thought that was you when I was stopped at the light and saw you walking and I was hoping, praying for that stupid light to change so I could get over here”—Passion stopped and took a deep breath—“and make sure it was really you.”

She looked around. “Are you meeting someone? You looked like you were expecting somebody when you turned around.”

“No!” Lavon said, trying to recover from the shock of seeing Passion. He thought that living in the Valley, a good forty-five minutes from her Leimert Park neighborhood, would ensure they never saw each other.

“My goodness, what are you doing here?”

Lavon cogitated on his answer. To lie was unwise, while the whole truth was unnecessary. He decided to stay somewhere in between. “I’m checking out a job possibility.”

“Really? You’re moving here?” Passion realized too late how excited she sounded. “I mean, that sounds great,” she said a bit more demurely. Just then she remembered how she’d parked her car askew in the restaurant’s valet zone and hit the flashers. She’d told the attendant she’d be right back.

“Oh, dang, I need to move my car. But can I join you for dinner?”

“Well…” Lavon cringed inwardly. How was it, he thought, that the woman he
always
wanted to be with could not be with him and the one he
never
wanted to see again always showed up?

“Well, what?” Passion said with a hint of impatience. “Dang, Lavon. It’s just a meal. I asked to eat with you, not for you to eat me. Is there a problem?”

Yes…you,
is what he thought. “I guess not,” is what he said.

“Never mind,” Passion said, her countenance changing along with her happy mood. “I don’t have to beg anybody for company.” She turned to leave.

“Wait a minute,” Lavon said, tugging her arm gently. “Don’t be like that. Go park your car while I get us a table. I’ll explain over dinner.”

Just over an hour later, Passion was headed back to her side of town. She unbuttoned the top button of her size-sixteen slacks, feeling the roiling of indigestion. She doubted the discomfort came from the French onion soup or the marinated chicken breast. She was almost positive her sour stomach had come from the conversation during dinner. Lavon, and more specifically his conversation, had made her sick!

Not at first. Things were delicious in the beginning as they’d conversed generally about the various goings-on since Thanksgiving, Lavon’s potential new job, and how everyone at Logos Word anticipated the release of the
Eight Keys to Victorious Kingdom Living
DVD series at the first of the year. The camaraderie felt as it had when they first met, genuine and comfortable. It was one of the traits that attracted her to Lavon—he kept it real.

But talk of the Kingdom Keys series, and the subsequent talk about church in general and Logos Word in particular changed the vibe at the table. Passion found it odd that Lavon wasn’t planning on attending their church, that he seemed vague about attending church at all. Her pastor immediately came to mind, and when Passion mentioned her, Lavon seemed vague:

“Pastor Carla, that’s my girl!” Passion had exclaimed.

“She’s okay, I guess,” Lavon had responded without enthusiasm.

“She can really preach the Word,” Passion had continued. “She has ministered to so many young women. I know I’ve been blessed from her testimonies.”

“Uh, can you pass the rolls?”

And then he’d switched the subject to Kobe Bryant and the Lakers. Passion belched, rubbed her stomach, and undid another button. She didn’t even like basketball!

Passion wondered about the mystery that was Lavon and his reappearance in LA. Her fingernails tapped on the steering wheel as she waited for the light to change. There was only one way to find out—actually two, and the first attempt had proved less than successful. “I think I’m due for a little ministerial counseling,” Passion said firmly. “It’s time for a little talk with Dr. Lee.”

Passion tossed and turned throughout the night but by morning, she was resolved to get the answers she needed about the nature of Lavon and Carla’s relationship. She went into work early and promptly at nine, left her cubicle and went to an empty conference room to make her call. Carla’s assistant answered on the second ring.

“Thank you for calling Logos Word. Pastor Carla’s office, may I help you?”

“Hi, Jill, it’s Passion, Passion Perkins.”

“Oh, hey, Passion. How are you?”

“I’m good. Yourself?”

“Fine. What can I do for you?”

“Well, this is really short notice but I was hoping to get an appointment with Pastor Carla. Is she going to be in the office today?”

“Yes, she is. Can I tell her what this is in reference to?”

“It’s about something going on in my personal life. I would really like her counsel on the matter.”

“I’m looking at her schedule just now and she might have an opening this afternoon. Where can I reach you?”

Passion gave her the number and hung up the phone. The ball was now in Pastor Carla’s court. Passion wondered just how the first lady would bounce it.

She only had to wait an hour to find out. Jill called her cell phone and confirmed a two
P.M
. appointment at the church’s executive offices.