“You’ll never lose me, darling. I’ve too much to live for.” His big, hard body, weak from his illness, tried to hug her tight. He bent his head and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Gosh, I’m as weak as a kitten.”
She smoothed his hair back from his gorgeous face, loving every tired line and rugged curve.
“I love you,” he finally said, his tempestuous eyes filled with emotion. “When I thought I’d got there too late, that I’d already lost you … God, I never want to have
that feeling of despair again. You must never leave me no matter how stupidly I behave or how angry I make you. I can’t live without you, my little firebrand.”
“I promise to be by your side always,” she murmured, drawing him to her.
They lay contentedly caressing each other and gazing into each other’s eyes. She kissed his forehead and then his lips, feeling the flare of desire ignite, but that would come later. Later, when he had his strength back, he would make love to her until she dropped from exhaustion.
She nestled down against his chest with a sigh, feeling that at last everything was right with the world. Knowing this was exactly where she belonged.
Soon he dropped back to sleep, and she stayed with him, holding him as he dreamed.
Chapter Twenty-three
A month later they were back in Dorset at Christian and Serena’s country estate. Sebastian was fully recovered and had his strength back.
He had proved it by spending the past week making love to her almost every minute of the day. If she hadn’t already been with child, a fact now confirmed by the ecstatic Dr. Jamieson, she would be now.
All the Libertine Scholars had gathered except, of course, Grayson Devlin, Viscount Blackwood, but at least they had received word from him. He would be landing in Deal, Kent, in a few days’ time. In addition, Sebastian had considered it prudent to bring Marisa, Helen, Aunt Alison, and Henry to Dorset too. Just in case.
Marisa had been distraught leaving Lord Rothburg behind, but he’d been invited too and would arrive next week.
The men were still puzzling over their joint enemy. Since Christina had killed Dunmire, they would never know how involved he was in the plot to kill Sebastian. However, the bullet they extracted from Sebastian’s backside seemed to match a bullet Arend had fired from one of Dunmire’s guns.
That evening they all gathered in the dining room, Christian sitting at the head of the table, his beautiful wife at the other end. He hated her sitting so far from him. He also hated the fact that their enemy was still at large while his wife was with child. He could not shake off the idea they were all in real and present danger.
At the end of the meal, thoughts turned to what they had learned and everything they had not.
“We are agreed that our enemy is a woman, a woman whom our fathers wronged in some manner. How exactly, we don’t quite know.” Christian looked at his wife’s face and quickly added, “But we can guess.”
He continued, “We know she has hired six different assassins, two of which we think are dead, Dunmire being the second assassin.”
“We are no closer to knowing anything about her, except that Serena has seen her at her father’s estate, when Serena was a young girl.” Christian’s voice wavered. “Making my wife a prime target.” He smiled at her. “I will not let anything happen to
you, my love.”
“I know that, darling.” She smiled at him tenderly. “However, I don’t think she would hurt any of the women. She could have killed Clarice, or gone after Sebastian’s sisters, but she didn’t. I think she hates men but won’t touch the innocent.”
Maitland spoke up. “I have to disagree. Portia Flagstaff.”
“What about her?” Serena asked.
Maitland cleared his throat. “I think her kidnapping was planned by our enemy. It got Grayson out of England. While our nemesis laid the groundwork to ensure he’s been blamed for her disappearance. According to Grayson’s first dispatch, Portia was sold into a harem. Portia’s reputation has been destroyed; worse still, Grayson might never have been able to get her out, leaving her to live her life as a captive. So much for not hurting innocent women.”
Silence descended and Beatrice and Serena looked at each other. Both women were with child and they worried that their enemy might try and destroy their happiness. Beatrice laid a hand on her stomach. She would never let any harm come to her child.
“Actually,” Beatrice said, “what I find more concerning is, what is she going to do next? Has she finished with Christian and Sebastian or will she keep trying to kill them?” She could not hide the fear in her voice.
Christian shrugged. “We don’t know.”
Sebastian bluntly observed, “It’s Hadley, Maitland, and Arend who must be on guard. They need to be wary of any situation where they might find themselves placed in a position of honor. It’s likely a trap.”
Arend had been very quiet but finally spoke up. “I’m taking Maitland with me, and tomorrow we’re going to Deal to meet Grayson’s ship. He sent me a separate missive. I think he’s in danger. From what he has pieced together, someone is chasing them and trying to kill him, and Portia Flagstaff believes she knows who it might be. If that is the case, then they are both in grave danger.”
“Why would he write to you about this? He said nothing to me,” declared Christian, hurt that his best friend had not trusted the knowledge to him.
“He didn’t want you involved. I told him of your marriage and all you’d been through already.”
Arend came straight to the point. “We need to know as soon as possible what
Portia has learned. I’m not risking the enemy killing them before they tell us.”
“I can accompany you if you’d like,” Hadley offered.
Arend shook his head. “No. With Sebastian’s sisters and Henry here, I’d like you to stay and help Christian and Sebastian, should the need arise. Maitland and I will leave here separately in case we are being followed. That way at least one of us should make Deal safely.”
Beatrice shivered and just wished this ordeal could be over. She’d almost lost Sebastian once. She refused to consider losing him again. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t.
Christian pushed back his chair. “I suggest we repair to the drawing room, and try and have an enjoyable evening. I refuse to continue to let this madwoman ruin my life.”
Everyone rose and followed Serena back to the drawing room. When they were all settled, the ladies on the two chaises, the men gathering in front of the fire, Serena agreed to play for them.
She selected a cheerful piece and soon the occupants of the room began to relax and let the joy of being safe and in each other’s company soothe them.
Later Sebastian found his wife in Henry’s room, standing by his cot, looking down at him with fierce protectiveness in her eyes, her hand resting on her stomach that still was not showing any signs of the new life growing inside her.
“I won’t let anything happen to you, Henry, or the girls, you do know that?”
She turned into his embrace, tears in her eyes. “I know, but I’m sick of being scared. I almost lost you once. I can’t bear it if I lose you now. I just want this to be over.”
“Come, let me take you to bed and love you, sweetheart. You’re exhausted and overwrought.”
He picked her up, hugging her tight against his chest, and carried her to their room. He put her gently on the bed and returned to close the door. “Now I can have you all to myself.”
She smiled for one long moment, lost in his eyes, thankful that he and she were here, alive, damaged a bit, but still breathing. She briefly closed her eyes against
the fear that kept pushing at her soul.
“Don’t, Beatrice. Don’t let the enemy in here, in our bed. This is our place. Ours alone.”
She sat up and began to take down her hair, using the moment to gather her wits, her courage, her words.
“I’m scared because I know what I could lose.” She held up a hand when he would have spoken platitudes of safety. “When I first met you, I was terrified. Terrified because you were larger than life. I thought you a wicked man who slept with loads of women, had slept with another man’s mistress, and then coldly killed my brother in a duel.” Before he could interrupt, she hurried on. “You could never imagine my surprise and dread when you accepted my proposal.”
She dragged in another breath, let it out on the words “And then on our wedding night, you were so kind, so gentle, you sensed how scared I was and made the night magical, introducing me to such pleasure I thought nothing could be better.” She looked at him and smiled. “I fell in love with you that night, but thought a man such as you could never come to love a woman like me. All I knew was that I would spend the rest of my life trying to earn your heart, because love is all need, and want, and desire. It’s a hunger like no other, and once I’d fallen, once I’d had a taste, there was no choice but to throw myself into the feast.”
Shifting closer to where he sat silently on the edge of the bed, she brought her hands to frame his face, looked deep into his midnight eyes. “So what scares me to death is that if I lose you, I shall starve, wither, and die.”
She pressed a kiss to his sensuous mouth. “I wake each morning to the sight of your handsome face lying next to me and I have to pinch myself that I’m not dreaming. I feel so lucky to have had you come into my life that I lie awake at night wondering what I did to be so lucky. And panicking that one morning I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone, and I’ll be on my own again.”
“Oh, sweetheart, how long have you been feeling like this?”
“Since you recovered from your gunshot wound. I still have nightmares that the fever took you and I could not stop it, no matter how much you cried for me to help.”
He searched her green eyes. “Why did you not tell me you were feeling like this?”
“What could you do? You’ll tell me for the millionth time not to worry, but
there is a madwoman out there who wants to take you away from me.”
He bent and placed a kiss on her lips. “There are no certainties in life, Beatrice, bar one, and that is I love you and always will. If something should happen to me, I will live on here”—he placed his hand over her heart—“and in our children.”
He took a moment to gather his thoughts. He’d obviously taken for granted that his strong, intelligent wife had gotten over his near-death experience, but it was festering inside her, breaking her spirit, and he couldn’t bear to watch her pain.
“I think it’s natural that when you love someone, you worry about them. I used to constantly worry about my sisters, about ensuring their safety, comfort, and future. I still do. I know Rothburg will likely ask for Marisa’s hand, and the thought of handing her into his care scares me witless.”
He took her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. “Then there is you and the baby. When I married you, I ranted about wanting an heir. Now … all I want is for you to get through the pregnancy and our child to be born safe and well.”
He placed his hand on her stomach. “You were the one to teach me the meaning of love. Love is selfless, caring, but it also takes courage. I was such a coward when I first met you. When you stood there dripping wet, looking more like a drowned rat than a woman, a part of me recognized you were my other half, the half that would make me whole, and I fought to keep you out, scared of what loving you would do to me and my family.”
His lips twitched into an angelic smile. “But I was brave enough to open my heart and let you in. I drew courage from you and now all I want is to live by your side and protect you and our family. I just want to live the rest of my live with you, no matter how long or short that is. Are you brave enough to do the same?”
At her silence he added, “If you let the enemy destroy or mar what we share, she wins. Do you want that?”
She shook her head and her shoulders straightened.
“Beatrice, you’ve been the brave one in this relationship from the start. Now that I’ve caught up, don’t lose that courageous spirit of yours.”
“You always know the right thing to say to fire me up,” she said, and laughed, an exuberant, glorious sound.
“I want you to laugh more. The sound is beautiful, like you.” He dropped his forehead to hers. “We will win, I know it, for doesn’t love conquer all?”
He kissed her then. A kiss that lingered, a kiss filled with tenderness, a kiss
that slid smoothly, seamlessly into a long exchange of whispered endearments, promises of safety and shared desires and pleasures.
Sebastian loved her as the night rolled on; desire surged, then peaked and waned, only to return again. He couldn’t get enough of her, and with their enemy still at large he was taking nothing for granted.
At the end they lay entwined, his arms around her, their legs tangled, and they defied their situation by making plans for the future: how many children, where Henry would be schooled, where they would spend most of their time, and how wonderful their life would be once their enemy was defeated.
Beatrice’s last thought was that perhaps she owed their enemy everything. If not for this stranger’s dastardly plan, she would never have met Sebastian. Through all the pain and suffering this mystery woman inflicted, Beatrice had gained something far greater than she ever could have imagined. She’d gained the love of a handsome, honorable, courageous, and passionate man—something she never dreamed possible.