A Question of Love (14 page)

`I'll try.
’ He grinned up at her, knowing they were both recalling the first time he had read her email. His smile faded. She had been writing to the unknown Rob. He'd almost forgotten about him and about the time passing. Was he there, sharing the flat now? Were they sharing her bed? He didn’t want to think about that. If they didn’t mention him he could block the fellow out of his mind, especially since Roseanne was still spending every weekend with him. He was thankful for that.

***

Simon Kershaw lost no time in booking flights back to the UK when the doctors eventually agreed his sister was fit to travel. He visited Euan at the first opportunity in the local hospital and told him his mother would visit as soon as she had recovered from the journey. Euan was pleased to see him.

`I think they may let me out of this place as soon as my mother is able to visit. I shall tell them there is someone at home to look after me – though really I should be looking after her. How is she really, Uncle Simon? Has she fully recover
ed from her operation?’

`The doctors gave her the all clear,’ Simon told him, `and she says she feels better than she has felt for years. It’s the travelling and she’s been anxious about you so it’s tired her out. Anyway I’m sure Roseanne will have been looking after you. She feels guil
ty for letting you get injured.’ Euan frowned.

`I don’t want her to visit me because she feels guilty,’ Euan snapped, frowning. `Besides
my injuries were not her fault,’ he added more calmly.

`I don’t think they’ll allow you home anyway until they’re sure yo
u’re right in the head, laddie.’ Euan grinned at his uncle’s turn of phrase.

`Some people might think I’v
e never been right in the head.’ He sobered. `The headaches are not as severe now, or as often. So long as I don’t do too much bending I think I can cope with them.’

`Well your mother reckons you usually get your own way, so I expect you’ll pester these pretty nurses until they let you out. I need to get back up to the factory and see what’s going on and relieve Roseanne a bit, give her a bit of time off to
get settled into her new flat.’

Roseanne felt she ought not to intrude now Euan’s uncle and mother had arrived back at Ashburn and were visiting him every day. He was dismayed when he realised she would not be coming down the following weekend as usual. His spirits plummeted. While he was ill and sedated he had lost track of time but now he faced facts. The unknown Rob must certainly be living at the flat by now. No doubt he was glad Roseanne no longer needed to spend her precious free time visiting her employer's nephew. Euan was aware Roseanne still blamed herself for his injuries despite his protests. He had taken advantage of her feelings to make the most of her company. He had lived for the weekends when she would be back to see him and she had answered all his emails once he got his computer at the hospital but he felt he must face the fact that guilt was probably the only emotion she had felt where he was concerned. Obviously it was the reason she had spent her precious weekends visiting him, especially since he knew no one else in Scotland. If her feelings had been deeper she would not have stayed away as soon as he had his mother and Uncle to visit.

Euan was enjoying getting to know his uncle and learning more about the workings of the meat processing operations but he was bored and despondent now he could no longer look forward to Roseanne’s visits.

`The doctor says Euan has h
ad a set-back since we arrived,’ Simon Kershaw told Roseanne. `We thought it would help him, having his mother to visit every afternoon but she says he seems moody and withdrawn and the doctors think it is too soon to discharge him in case his head injuries are more severe than they thought.’

`Are they sure he hasn't developed an infection in one of his wounds? Has h
is head injury healed properly?’

`I reckon the doctors will know about all that. They think he's been spending too much time on his computer. He seems to be in contact with
colleagues all over the globe.’

`I suppose he misses his o
wn friends,’ Roseanne said, chewing her lower lip. She longed to go down and see him for herself but she owed her loyalty to Robinia too. She was now installed at the flat but she had been restless ever since she arrived. Roseanne knew her sister had never liked being left alone in one place and she felt torn between her sister and Euan and her work. She had no excuse for spending weekends at Ashburn now though. Robinia was used to having plenty of people around her and she was not used to staying in one place for long. Even so Roseanne had a feeling there was more than that affecting her sister’s spirits and she wondered if she was regretting tying up her money in the new flat and giving up her job to take over one of their mother’s boutiques and start making her own name in the retail world. Her job had meant she was continually on the move and meeting new people. Giving it all up meant a big change to her lifestyle. Their mother had thought they should spend some time together before Robinia took over the boutique but Roseanne was beginning to think the sooner she had something to occupy her time and energy the better.

`There'll be no need for you to keep rushing down to Ashburn now that
the Hunk's' mother has arrived,’ Robinia said with satisfaction when she heard Mr K and his sister had returned from Australia.

`I’m not sure Mrs Kennedy
would welcome me there anyway,’ Roseanne said. `I can’t blame her if she holds me responsible for Euan’s injuries.’

`Don’t be silly, Ros,’
Robinia said briskly. `No one can blame you. Euan Kennedy most definitely has a mind of his own from what you tell me. Now cheer up. We’ll spend your first free Saturday shopping together and maybe have Sunday afternoon with our Mother.` Roseanne smiled in response to her sister’s suggestions but inwardly her spirits felt unusually low and she knew it was the prospect of not knowing if, or when, she would see Euan again. Simon Kershaw had told her his mother visited the hospital every afternoon but she had refused to drive Euan’s sports car. She had already bought a small car of her own so that she could be independent and drive herself to the shops or the hospital when it suited her.

`It sounds as though she's
planning to stay indefinitely,’ Robinia said with satisfaction when Roseanne told her the news. `Maybe she’ll settle in this country.’

Mr
K was happy to be back in harness but he divided his time between the factory and his sister at Ashburn for the first couple of weeks. He had known both Robinia and Roseanne since they were children, so he guessed Roseanne would feel she should spend some time with her restless sibling. He knew Robinia had always made her base with her mother in the past if she was in Britain for any length of time, but Roseanne had told him they had bought the new flat between them and Robinia had moved all her personal possessions from her mother’s down to the flat. It seemed she was intending to make her home permanently with Roseanne. Simon Kershaw frowned at that prospect, although it was none of his business. He knew the two of them had always been close in spite of the differences in their temperaments, but he knew better than anyone how much Roseanne valued her own space and privacy. He wondered how they would get on living together and whether Robinia would be bored staying in a small town, even if she did travel to Edinburgh every day. Roseanne also wondered. She spent as much time at the flat as she could but she sensed that her sister was not happy. When questioned she replied sharply.

`
I’ve scarcely seen you, what with your work and the time you've spent visiting your precious hunk. When will he be well enough for us to try some of our old tricks on him?’

`
I don’t think we should try anything when he has been so ill,’ Roseanne said quickly. Robinia looked up at her swift response. She eyed her sister thoughtfully. She knew Roseanne well enough to realise Euan Kennedy must be more special than her usual male friends. She had never been so attentive, or so protective, with anyone before. Rob was beginning to suspect it was more than guilt, or a sense of responsibility, which made her sister so concerned and attentive. This must be a man who mattered. Robinia couldn't remember her elder sister ever being deeply attached to anyone before, except family and Uncle K. She might say she felt responsible for Euan’s accident, she might blame herself and convince everyone she owed him a debt; but Robinia knew there was more to her sister’s feelings than that, whether Roseanne realised it yet, or not. Maybe she was seeing things more clearly herself? For the first time in her life she understood now what true love really means, and it was not all laughter and having a good time together as she had once imagined.

Eleven

`Euan keeps asking when you're coming down to Ashburn
for the weekend,’ Simon Kershaw told Roseanne as another weekend approached. `Could you manage to come, lassie, even if it's only for a night. I think he needs some young company to cheer him up. He gets on well with young McIntyre. They talk about computer programs and such like but it's not the same. Surely Binny can amuse herself for once?’ he asked. Roseanne smiled. He had always called her sister Binny when they were children. All shortened forms of their names annoyed their mother but Rob herself had refused to answer to Binny since she became a successful model. `It makes me sound like a dustbin man,’ she declared.

`Well yes, I suppose I could com
e down for the day on Saturday,’ Roseanne agreed slowly.`Robinia seems to be in brighter spirits this week for some reason. I don't want to intrude at Ashburn though when your sister is staying there.’

`But Ashburn is your home, lassie. It is where your heart belongs. I’ve always known that. If Aileen decides to stay in Scotland, and I hope she will, then she thinks she will settle up here, nearer my work. When Euan is better she’ll probably move into the empty flat while she looks around for a place. Anyway she is eager to meet you. She'll be as pleased as I am if you come to Ashburn. Better still if you stay all weekend. Besides the cattle records are getting behind
,` he added with a twinkle in his eye. `You know I can never understand that damned computer program the government insist we must use to register all the births.’

Roseanne explained to her sister about needing to go to Ashburn to catch up with the cattle records. Robinia smiled and gave her a quizzical look.

`It's not worth going all that way for one night. Why don't you go on Friday and come back Monday morning.’ Roseanne was astonished at her sister's suggestion.

`If I didn’t know better I’d think you were t
rying to get me out of the way,’ Roseanne teased. She was surprised when Robinia’s cheeks coloured. `Why don’t you come with me?’

`Not on your life. You know I never liked staying at the farm. I admit I’ve been a bit grumpy since I came home. I wondered if I was doing the right thing buying this flat with you, committing both of us to a substantial mortgage, as well
as giving up a job I’ve loved.’

`And now?
Are you still unsure?’ Roseanne asked anxiously. `I’d hate you to be unhappy, Rob.’

`I think things are going to work out bet
ter than I could have believed,’ Robinia said with a dreamy sort of smile Roseanne had never seen before. `You said Euan would be getting out of hospital soon, didn't you?’

`Yes. If the tests are all satisfactory he expects to get out next Thursday so long as there is
someone to keep an eye on him.’ Roseanne raised her eyebrows at her sister's speculative gaze, unaware that Robinia was making mental plans of her own. So far Rob had not mentioned her own particular friend, Jonathan Weston, to Roseanne but if she had the flat to herself for the whole weekend they could stay here together. He had landed back in Edinburgh three days ago. She hadn't realised how unhappy and restless she had been until he phoned her from the airport to say he had arrived in Scotland and couldn't wait to see her. She had travelled up to town as soon as Roseanne left for work the following day, and again the next, arriving back just before her sister got home from work. She couldn’t explain why she wanted to keep Jonathan a secret, except that she cared for him more deeply than she had ever cared for any man in her life before. Until she heard his voice and felt the warmth of his embrace again she had been filled with doubts. Even now she wondered if she was being selfish to allow Jonathan to give up a job he loved as a fashion photographer just because the time was coming when she would be forced to give up her own career as a model, or at least a model who could almost pick and choose her assignments. Besides her mother was getting older and several times she had hinted that running all three boutiques was too much for her on her own. She had been delighted when Robinia agreed it was time to quit her modelling career while she was still in demand, and take over one of the boutiques. She had also promised to help with the buying for all three boutiques, and she knew this was the part she could really enjoy.

When she had first explained to Jonathan that she was buying a flat with her sister he hadn’t seemed bothered, but when he realised she would also be giving up her modelling and settling down to run a boutique in Edinburgh he had gone very quiet. He had barely spoken to her for days. She had been so miserable. They cared deeply about each other. They were good together, as friends and as lovers. She had asked herself a dozen times since arriving home if she was a fool to throw it all away before she was forced into changes. It was true Jonathan had insisted on accompanying her to the airport and when she was almost ready to board the plane he had taken
her in his arms and told her he didn’t think he could live his life without her. She knew he had meant it at the time but afterwards she’d had time to ponder. Saying good bye was always emotional. Would he still feel the same when she had been out of his life for a few weeks? Now here he was in Scotland, asking her to marry him, planning to change his own job and set up in a business of his own so that they could settle down together. She simply couldn’t believe all her dreams were coming true. Jonathan would have no difficulty getting other photographic work because he had built up a large portfolio and he had an excellent reputation with the glossy magazines both in the UK and abroad. Her big worry now was the flat she and Roseanne had bought together so recently.

Her mother had been adamant it was her duty to encourage Roseanne to buy a bigger and better flat, in a more residential area, but her elder sister had always kept her affairs to herself so neither of them had any idea whether she could afford a more expensive place. As usual Robinia had gone along with her mother’s suggestions, but she had not known then that her decision to settle down would set so many other changes in motion. The flat was lovely. How could she expect Roseanne to put it on the market again so soon? How else could she sort out the new complications which would arise if she married Jonathan? Yet, she knew now, that was what she wanted more than anything else.

***

Roseanne was delighted to discover Aileen Kennedy resembled her brother both in looks and nature. She greeted her with a warm hug as though they had known each other for years.

`I feel I know you, Roseanne,’ she said with a smile. `I’ve heard so much about you from Simon. I believe he regards you as the daughter he never had.’

`Thank you. He has been very good t
o me since my grandfather died.’

`From what I hear you have more than repaid him with your help and loyalty. He tells me you have a business brain as
sharp as your grandfather had.’

`I suppose things have turned out to be to our mutual benefit,’ Roseanne agreed. `I’d have hated having to sell the farm but I couldn
’t have made it pay on its own.’

`But together the
two places make a viable unit?’

`Yes, they do, and it has been good for the reputation of Kershaw & Co to have some organic meat from our rare breeds. It seems to make a difference to some of the large London stores. A marketing image you know. How is Eua
n progressing?’

`He’s looking forward to seeing you. I know he sends you an email every day but h
e says that’s very restricting.’ She gave Roseanne a shrewd look which brought the ready colour to her cheeks.

`I er… I expect he means we can’t argue in email
s.’

`Maybe that’s what he meant, though I don’t think so. I do know he has enjoyed some stimulating discussions with you. He’s impatient to get out of hospital now that I’m here to keep an eye on him and he’s feeling so much better. The headaches have almost gone and I gather they were what caused concern and why the doctors insisted on
keeping him in for observation.’

Roseanne was surprised when Euan’s mother and Uncle both opted out of vis
iting while she was at Ashburn.’

`I told you
he’s needing some young company, lassie. There’s not much fun in seeing two old fogies like us,’ Simon Kershaw said with a grin.

Euan was sitting in a chair by the window when Roseanne arrived. He still had a room to himself which surprised her. He also had an extra table and chair with his computer set up ready for use.

`How did you manage all this?’ she asked, gesturing around the room.

`Oh a few strings here and there did the trick,
’ Euan said waving dismissively. `I suppose there’s an advantage in being in a small local hospital where rules can be bent a bit. But never mind the room. Surely I deserve a greeting from you. I haven’t seen you since my mother arrived.’ He beckoned her closer and clasped her hand the moment he could reach it. She was surprised how strong he was as he drew her close and lifted his face for a kiss. As soon as she bent towards him he put his hand to the back of her head while his lips sought hers in a long kiss which left them both breathless.

`Y-you’re certainly recovering,’
Roseanne gasped, blushing furiously.

`I have not forgotten how quick and cool your kisses can be, Roseanne. I have to make the most of any
opportunity which comes my way,’ Euan teased, grinning broadly. `How long can you stay?’

`Until the end of visiting, unless you turn me out,’ Roseanne said but her green eyes danced with mischief and Euan felt his heart lurch.
God he wanted her.

`You know very well I meant how ma
ny days will you be at Ashburn.’

`I’m staying until Monday morning and driving straight back to the office from Ashbu
rn.’

`And Rob doesn
’t mind you being away so long?’ he asked carefully, his eyes never leaving her face.

`Apparently not,’
Roseanne shrugged, her thoughts flitting back to her sister. Robinia was up to something. She had always been able to tell but so far she had been unable to work out what it could be. She knew she had been up to town at least once this past week because their mother had telephoned Roseanne at work to say she had seen her walking past the boutique with a man but they had not called to see her and they had disappeared by the time she was able to leave her client. She looked up to see Euan frowning at her. He didn’t care for her going off into a reverie at the mere mention of the unknown Rob. He vowed he must make the most of the little time and opportunity he had.

`What have you
been doing with your computer?’ she asked, `apart from sending me emails?`

`I have to restrict myself where you’re concerned, remembering how scrupulous you are about personal emails at work – we-ell er most of the time.` His grey eyes lit with golden flecks and she knew he was remembering the private email she had sent off to Rob which he had intercepted when he had first arrived. `I do love the c
olour in your cheeks, Roseanne.’ He chuckled and Roseanne wished she didn’t blush so readily.

`So? What else do you need your computer
for? It looks very up to date.’

`Of course it is. What else would you expect considering my business is computers? As a matter of fact I have been able to keep in touch with most of the projects my company are working on and things are going very well. I’m makin
g plans for some major changes.’

`I see. I suppose that means you will be moving on as soon as the
doctors give you the all clear?’ Roseanne couldn’t believe how depressed that made her feel. They would probably never see each other again once he resumed his travelling far and wide. When the bell rang ending the visiting time her kiss was more lingering than usual and Euan made the most of it.

`You will come back again this evening, won’t you Roseanne?
’ he asked and her heart filled with tenderness at the vulnerable look in his eyes. She felt like a mother deserting her child as she turned back to wave from the door. Her heart ached. She was going to miss him terribly when he was fully recovered.

They both made the most of each visiting time during the weekend. On Sunday evening when she was ready to leave Euan mentioned again that he had some serious decisions to make
regarding his own business but Roseanne was too preoccupied to pay attention. Their parting kiss was long and passionate, only brought to an end by the gentle cough of the nurse.

It was only later, lying in bed, that she wondered what he had meant about his business. What had he been trying to say? She knew he was restless and often irritable on account of his lack of mobility. He had said there was still a lot to discuss before anything could be arranged. `I need to get
on my feet again for one thing,’ he had muttered impatiently. As soon as his leg was healed and he had had the physiotherapy he would be off on his travels. Roseanne’s heart filled with despair. She would probably never see him again once he resumed his own projects.

When Roseanne arrived home from work on Monday evening she was feeling flat and depressed. She didn’t want to face Robinia’s teasing questions about Euan and the weekend so she fired off a few questions of her own instead.