A Real Disaster (4 page)

I don’t know why the words came out of
my mouth and the moment that they were out I wanted to pull them back in.
Turner was cute and funny. He had a great personality. So why wasn’t I jumping
at the chance to go out with him?

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “I’m sorry
Turner.”

Putting my head down, I blindly walked away
from him, only slightly aware that he was calling for me to come back.
So much for the new me.

*
         
*
         
*

“You actually said that you didn’t want
to go out on a date with him?!” Sabrina screeched as we sat at the café across
the street from the college.
 

I winced and covered my ears with my
hands. Passerby’s looked at us, frowning, and continued down the street.

“I actually said it,” I told her. “The
words were out of my mouth before I could stop them really.”

“But why would you say no?” she asked.
“I don’t understand. Turner is hot… Really hot! Plus, he’s a great kisser. You
could definitely pick someone worse to be your first boyfriend.”

“You kissed him? And he should be my boyfriend?”
I questioned. “Who said anything about a boyfriend? I don’t have time to worry
about a boyfriend.”

“We kissed at a party, so what? And you’re
pathetic. You’re not in high school anymore, Lily. You can’t hide behind your
denim jumpers and converse high tops. If you want things to happen in your life
you have to make them happen. There’s no more sitting on the sidelines. It
doesn’t work like that.”

I wasn’t sitting on the sidelines…or at
least I didn’t think I was. I was shy, what was so wrong with that?

“I can say the same to you. What are you
doing except drinking and partying late at night. What do you want to happen in
your life as a college student?”

Sabrina shrugged.

“I’m a freshman, I don’t have to figure
that stuff out right now. And let’s face it, it doesn’t matter what I do. I’m a
trust fund baby and my parents will always be there to pick me up if I screw
up.”

“If only the rest of us could be so
lucky,” I murmured as I drank my tea.

My mind kept flashing to Turner staring
at me, asking me out.

Was I an idiot to say no? What if he
really
is
as great as Sabrina says?
Did I screw up my chance? I didn’t want to think like that. Was I supposed to
just say yes? I barely knew him. But I could have given him a chance. I could
have gone out on one date with him and it wouldn’t have been a big deal.

“Turner works at the bakery two doors
down,” Sabrina said with a smirk.

“Yeah, and?”

“Don’t try to tell me that you’re not
thinking about him. You think you made a mistake, don’t you?”

“Well…Yeah,” I admitted.

“So go make it better,” she suggested.
“Go into the bakery and tell him that you were just shocked at his question.
Tell him that you actually do want to go out with him. It’s not that hard.”

Yeah, for her
maybe.

“Just walk up to him, all
willy
nilly
?” I asked. “Isn’t that
a little… Bold?”

“We’re not in the 1950’s anymore. We
don’t have to sit in skirts, clean the kitchen, and then wait for a boy to call
us.”

“Are you going to stand up and start
charging now or is this the end of your speech?”

“Shut up,” Sabrina hissed. “If you don’t
want to ask the boy out then don’t ask him out. But if you don’t, then I don’t
want to hear you complain about any of that.
Nut up or shut
up.”

“Classy,
Sabrina.”
I stood up anyway and brushed the crumbs off my lap. “I’ll be right back.”

Clenching my hands into fists, I left
the table and walked down the block to the bakery that Sabrina pointed out. My
heart was racing and I felt like I was going to faint. I was never asked out by
a boy, let alone asked one out. I had no idea what the protocol was for this
type of thing. I was flying in there, blind.

Bells jingled as I pushed the door open
and stepped inside. The air conditioner cooled off the shop and I found myself
wrapping my arms around my body to keep warm. Turner was behind the counter,
talking animatedly to an older woman. As he talked, she smiled and patted his arm.
The hat she wore flopped over one eye and every few minutes he would push it
back with his free hand. Finally Turner rang the woman up for her order and
waved goodbye. I stepped to the side, letting her walk out of the bakery.

“Hey,” Turner said.

“Hey yourself,” I said, trying to sound
casual.

“How did you find out that I worked
here?”

“I have my ways…” I said, smiling.

“So Sabrina told you?” Turner asked with
a knowing grin.

“Yeah,” I admitted. “We’re having some
coffee down the block and I thought that I would come and say hey.”

“Oh?” Turner said. “That’s the only
reason why you’re here?”

My heart stopped. He was trying to flirt
with me again and, again, I was struck dumb.

“Well maybe not the only reason,” I said
when I finally found my voice again.

“So why are you here?” Turner asked one
more time.

I stared at him, losing myself in his
dream like eyes, as I desperately hoped that a customer would walk in. No such
luck. It was just Turner and me, alone. My knees
tremored
and I sat down in the nearest chair.

“Look I don’t do this type of thing,” I
admitted, looking at the ground. “I have no idea what I’m doing or what I’m
supposed to be doing.”

“Uh, okay.”

Turner was obviously confused and I
couldn’t blame him.

Here I was, visiting him at work, acting
like a complete freak. I could only imagine what he thought of me.

“What type of thing are you talking
about?”

“Dating, you asked me out earlier-”

“I am aware.”

“And I said no.”

“Again, I’m aware.”

As I looked at Turner I could see his
brow furrowing and his lips pointing down into a frown. Great, I had made angry.
That was a brilliant idea.

“I didn’t mean to say no,” I said,
finally able to spit the words out. “I got nervous and flustered. No came out
of my mouth faster than yes did.”

“So…”

“So I came here to see if the offer was
still open. I want to know if you want to go to the concert with
me?
”

“Sure,” he said and started to wipe down
tables.

Sure. It was so simple and yet it
changed everything.

“I’ll pick you up at seven.”

“Sounds good.”

I stood up and turned to the door.

“I’ll see you later okay?”

“I’ll be here.”

Then I left the bakery.

I have
have
a date.

Suddenly the words sank in.

Oh. My.
God.

I have a
date
this weekend.

Chapter
Four

“This is why I never go out on dates,” I
told Sabrina.

My side of our dorm room, which was
usually pristine and perfect, looked like a bomb exploded. Clothes were
everywhere; on the chair, on the bed, and strewn all over the floor. I couldn’t
move without a threat of tripping and breaking an ankle. But, if I was honest
with myself, breaking an ankle would be welcomed if that meant that I didn’t
have to go out on the date. I was overly anxious and stressed.

“It’s too much work, too much stress.
Who the hell wants to be this stressed out?”

“You’re only stressed out because you’re
letting yourself get stressed out,” Sabrina told me. “You need to take a few
deep breaths and relax. Dating is not really that hard.”

“And you know this because of all the
dates you went out on?”

Sabrina was constantly telling me how
easy everything was and how I was such a worry wart. But she had only been on
only a few dates herself.

“Harsh,” Sabrina huffed. “Why are you
being such a bitch?”

“
I’m
the bitch? I’m not being a bitch. I’m nervous and worried and you keep being so
flippant about it all. Maybe it’s not so easy for me and such a happy
experience. I know lots of girls that get this way.”

“Why? You are top notch meat. Any guy
would be happy to sleep with you.”

“Sleep with me? Am I supposed to be
having sex with Turner tonight?!”

“You’re not supposed to, but that’s
usually how dates end, Lily.”

That wasn’t going to happen. I knew
nothing about sex or having sex. Sabrina knew Turner… And that he would expect
sex…

“I can’t go on this date. I’m going to
call him and cancel.”

 
I
went to go pick up my phone but Sabrina batted it out of my reach.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Stop being such a prude, go on the
Goddamn date. If you do it, you do it. Don’t over think
things,
it’s not helping the situation. Go with the flow…Don’t you know how to do
that?”

She didn’t know my past so there wasn’t
any way she would understand.

“Do I
look
like the type of person who can go with the flow?” I hissed.
“I can’t have sex with Turner. I’m not going to have sex with somebody I hardly
know because that’s what
usually
happens. If he thinks he’s going to get in my pants then he’s going to be
disappointed.”

“Then tell him no!” Sabrina exploded.
“If you don’t want to, then say no. It’s as easy as that!
God!”

Sabrina jumped off her bed and stomped
to the door.

“I can’t deal with you right now.
There’s too much crazy here for me.”

With a growl, Sabrina left the room and
slammed the door behind. I was left alone, in the middle of the room, with no
idea as to what to wear.

What a great way to start the night.

The date seemed so daunting.

I slipped on a fire engine red skirt. I
matched it with a block halter top with a deep V that left little to the
imagination. Slipping on the pair of knee high boots that Sabrina insisted I
should wear, I gave myself a look over in the mirror. My hair was mussed in
waves around my face. Even without make-up I still didn’t recognize myself. Here
goes nothing.

Eight o’clock on the dot there was a
knock at the door. I opened it to see Turner standing on the other side,
flowers in his hand, and a grin on his face.

“Am I late?” he asked as I ushered him
into the room.

There was still no sign of Sabrina but I
was okay with that. For once I embraced my solitude.

“No, right on time,” I told him.

Turner handed me the flowers.

“Those are for you,” he said.

“They’re gorgeous. Thank you.”

Filling up a pitcher with water, I
placed the flowers in them, pulling the stems apart to separate the bunch. It
was the first time I ever got flowers before.

“Are you hungry or anything? Do you want
something to drink?”

“To be honest I’m too nervous to be
hungry or thirsty.”

My heart melted at his comment. He was
nervous?
To go out on a date with me?
It was adorable
and relaxed my nerves too since I felt the same way.
 

“Don’t be nervous…” I said to him. “I’ve
been telling myself the same thing so we’re both in the same situation. I don’t
want our nerves to get in the way of the two of us having some actual fun, you
know?”

Turner gave me a grateful smile.

“I hear that this is supposed to be the
biggest concert of the year. A great kick off… Is that true?” I asked, trying
to change the subject.

“Yeah,” Turner said. “Last year there
was a bond fire and carnival rides. It’s not just a concert, it’s a whole big
to do… Just so we have a bit of fun before the hell begins.”

“Sounds like everyone is going to be
there…”

“They are. Everyone wants to say that
they were there at the big kick off. If you aren’t there, you’re kind of lost
the rest of the year. People talk about the kick off for at least the fall
semester.”

“So be honest with me… Is there a lot of
drinking at this thing?”

Turner cocked and eyebrow and his smile
faltered.

“A lot… No,” Turner said slowly. “But
there is drinking. Is that a problem?”

“No… Of course not,” I said with a
laugh.

I wasn’t about to tell Turner that I
didn’t drink; that I only had a couple drinks in my whole life. Nothing could
turn him off more than that, I figured. I didn’t want to sound like a complete
loser right away.