A Real Disaster (7 page)

Chapter
Seven

The first day of classes…

Dreadful.

Usually I would be jumping up and down,
ready to start learning. I was one of the few who loved school, loved learning,
and didn’t mind getting homework. All the way through high school I would do
the assignments given to me and then some. I handed in extra credit on things
that the teachers didn’t ask for. I would read text books for fun and write
essays on literature that was well over the high school level. Why? I had no
idea. It was fun to me. Sure, on the weekend I would hang out with my friends,
but if I was honest with myself I would say that I would have rather been at my
house, alone and studying, then out with other people.

Today, though, I was not excited for
classes to start. My nerves had been on edge ever since the night with Nash and
Turner. Turner tried to get a hold of me but every time he called I would
ignore it and whenever we bumped into each other, which
was
more than I liked, I would think of some kind of excuse. He was getting
suspicious, that much I knew, but I couldn’t be around him or Nash.

They were both corrupting my mind. I
knew I needed to keep all my concentration on school if I wanted to keep my
scholarships.

I packed my backpack with great care,
mostly stalling, while Sabrina fixed up her make up in the mirror. She, as
usual, looked perfect while I still felt like a child playing dress up. I knew
I would get used to wearing my new clothes sooner or later. Somehow they
attracted Nash and Turner and I didn’t need to attract any more guys.

“What’s wrong?” Sabrina suddenly asked.
“You look sick.”

“No I’m fine,” I said but frowned.

“Right, because you look so fine. You
look amazing actually.”

Sarcasm dripped from her words as she
turned to me. She stuck her make up in her pocket and went to her own bag.

“Why have you been
cock
blocking Turner?” I nearly choked on the gum that I was chewing.

“Excuse me?” I asked, stunned. “What are
you talking about?”

“You’re cock blocking him,” Sabrina
accused. “You went on the one date with him, got sick, and now you’re not
talking to him. Are you embarrassed or something?”

“Embarrassed of what? What should I be
embarrassed about?”

“I don’t
know,
the fact that you got sick or the fact that you can’t hold your liquor. You
could be upset about anything…”

“I’m not embarrassed or upset.”

“Then what is it? Why aren’t you
returning his calls or anything?”

“Maybe I don’t want to give him false
hope,” I told her. “Maybe I’m just not into him like that and I’m trying to let
him down but he’s just not getting it. Maybe I just need to concentrate on
school.”

“No that’s not
it.
You’re attracted to Turner, I can tell, but something is holding you back. What
is it? Are you ashamed of being a virgin?”

“Yeah,” I said, finding my way out.
“He’s probably been with a ton of girls.”

I prayed that it would be the end of the
conversation. I was hoping that, since Sabrina got answers she obviously
needed, she would drop the subject.

No such luck.

“Well then obviously you don’t know guys
very well.”

Sabrina walked over to me, her skirt
swishing against her waist and thighs.

“Guys
love
to be a girl’s first. It makes them feel more important or
something. You tell Turner you’re a virgin and he’ll cum in his pants before he
even sees you naked.”

I had a feeling that Sabrina was being a
little eccentric but I didn’t want to ask.

“Seriously, Lily, tell Turner you’re a
virgin and you will have him wrapped around your finger in no time.”

“Jesus Sabrina. That will be
my
decision. Please don’t go gossiping
to Turner about what I told you. I don’t want him to know anything unless I
decide to tell him, okay?”

Sabrina ran her fingers over her lips in
a zippered motion.

“You’re secret is safe with me,” Sabrina
said.

Yeah but for how long?

I didn’t want to imagine what would
happen if Sabrina told Turner what I told her. Not only was it too personal for
anyone else to know, it was also a lie. But I didn’t want anyone to know how I
lost mine.

“I have to go or I’m going to be late,”
I said and I zipped my backpack up. “See you tonight.”

“See
ya
,”
Sabrina called out as I left the room, closing the door behind me.

“Hey.”

I jumped and turned to my left only to
see Turner staring at me. His hair was wet and his eyes were shining.

“Damn Turner, you scared the shit out of
me,” I said.

Dear God I hoped he didn’t hear our
conversation.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“Waiting for
you.
I thought I would walk you to class.”

“Why didn’t you knock?” I asked.

“I just got here,” Turner said. “I was
about to knock when I noticed the door opening.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. If Turner
truly did just get to the door then there was no way that he could have heard
anything.

“Sorry for scaring you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “But I
didn’t expect you here.”

“I know,” Turner said, “But you’ve been
so busy lately that I figured that this was the only way that I could see you.”

“Yeah, sorry
about that.
Getting ready for classes and all.”

The two of us stepped into the elevator
and rode it down in silence. When the door opened I gasped. Standing in front
of us was Nash. He was talking to a girl and they were laughing animatedly. My
stomach knotted in jealousy… A walk back to the dorms with him and this was
happening to me.

I’m not going to be jealous.

I’m not going to be jealous.

I’m not going to be jealous.

Who was the girl and why was he laughing
with her? Was he involved with her? No strings, no problems, I reminded myself.
I wasn’t looking for a relationship. It doesn’t matter who she is or what
they’re doing together.

I was jealous.

Suddenly Nash turned and our eyes met. I
could hear Turner yammering on about something next to me but the words were
muffled and incoherent. My gaze went into tunnel vision as Nash and I stared at
each other.

“Hey, you’re Lily, right?” Nash said
finally.

I furrowed my eyebrows but Nash winked
secretly.

“Yeah that’s Lily,” Turner said for me.
“What’s it to you?”

“It’s nothing,” Nash said smoothly. “I
just remember her being with you the other night and I wanted to say hi.”

“Well you did and now you can leave,”
Turner hissed.

I rolled my eyes at Turner’s anger. The
other girl looked at me and I shrugged, feigning ignorance when it came to the
two boys.

“Come on, Lily, let’s go. I don’t want
to be late.”

“What class do you have?” Nash asked.

He stepped in front of me, blocking me
from moving on with Turner.

“Introduction to
Psychology.
We both have it, Turner and
I
.”

“What a coincidence, I have it too,”
Nash said and my jaw dropped.

He had to be kidding me.

“I was walking Anna over there back to
the dorms and I was going to go. I guess I’ll see you there.”

“I guess so,” I muttered.

Nash stepped out of the way and let me
pass which I did quickly. When Turner and I finally made it through the doors
Turner growled.

“I hate that son of a bitch,” he said.
“He’s so cocky and sure of himself. Did you see how he was trying to hit on you?
He thinks he can have any girl he wants!”

“He’s probably not really like that,” I
found myself saying. “I know you have issues with him because of your sister
but I don’t think he’s some kind of Casanova. Maybe he really did care for your
sister.”

“Like hell he did,” Turner muttered. “He
used her just like he uses every other girl. She was a notch on his belt and
that’s it.”

Turner looked at me.

“Why are you defending him? You don’t
know him and you don’t know his past.”

I didn’t know why I was defending him.
For all I knew Nash could have been lying.

“I just think that whatever happened in
high school should stay in high school,” I finally said. “We’re in college.
Don’t you want to shake off all the anger and resentment and enjoy college? Or
would you rather spend the next four years cursing Nash like you have been?”

“He's a sophomore so it's only a couple
of more years. But I hate him. I hate him and I want to strangle him until the
life drips from his body. He hurt my sister and my family. We treated him like
another son and brother. He repays us by fucking my sister. How can I get over
that?”

“Maybe he loved her,” I said and closed
my eyes.

Those words should have never left my
mouth.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“No, tell me what you said.”

Turner grabbed my arms and turned me to
him. We were face to face.

“What did you say?”

“Maybe he loved her,” I repeated. “Maybe
he truly loved her and never got a chance to explain that to you.”

“Are you saying that I overreacted? That
I have no right to be angry?”

“I’m not saying any of that!”

I was falling quickly off the ledge.

“I’m just saying that there might be
some things you don’t know or understand. Things that, maybe, you didn’t think
of back then. It’s possible, isn’t it?”

Turner paused.

“Possible, maybe,” he said. “But not
probable. He’s an ass, Lily, and if you knew him as well as I do you would see
that.”

Thankfully the conversation ended as we
stepped into the large lecture hall.

“I’m sitting in the back, care to join
me?”

“No, I do better in the front.”

“See you after class?”

“Sure,” I said.

Turner waved to me and went to the back
of the lecture hall while I picked a seat dead center in the front row.
Students trickled in and sat in the middle and back rows. So far, I was the
only one who was sitting in the front row. I bent down in my seat, rifling
through my bag for a notebook and a pen. When I sat back up, Nash was sitting
right next to me, tapping a pen against the desk.

“I knew that you would be sitting here,
in the front row.” Nash said.

Nervous, I turned back and saw Turner
frowning at me. I shrugged helplessly. I didn’t ask him to sit next to me. I
was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Why did it matter? Turner acted like
he owned me, like we were already a couple.

I was single and I could talk to whoever
I wanted.

I liked Turner when I met him. He seemed
cool and fun. But the issue with Nash and the looks he gave me every time I was
around him were starting to annoy me. He didn’t like
Nash,
that
I understood, but that didn’t mean that I had to stay away from him
too.

“Are you trying to piss him off?” I
asked as I nodded my head towards Turner. “He thinks that you want nothing to
do with me unless it has to do with sex.”

“Turner’s being a baby,” Nash said. “I’m
not trying to piss him off. Sorry that he put you in the middle of us. I really
wanted to
come
sit and talk to you.”

“Sorry,” I said, my voice low. “I didn’t
know what to say and wasn’t sure that you wanted me to talk to you...”

“Why wouldn’t I want to talk to a sexy
girl like you?”

Sexy?

He was hitting on me like the other
night.

Why didn’t he just bother all the girls
that were glaring at me from behind us while he talked to me?

“Because it was
just a walk back to the dorms.
What did you want me to do obsess over
you like all the other girls do? I'm just not that type of person. Sorry if
that's what you wanted.”

“I don’t give girls my number if I don’t
want them to call.”

I looked at Nash warily. Before I could
answer the professor walked in and slammed his bag on the desk.

“This is
Introduction to Psychology.
I don’t take any crap from any student
so if you think you can sit on your butts and do nothing, leave now. The rest
of
you,
shut the hell up.”

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