A Reason to Kill (Reason #2) (13 page)

Once the food was prepared, we set the table with an assortment of gels and edibles that helped enhance your sex life. As we arranged the items, Maxine handed us a box saying it was “Party favors.” Inside were individually boxed vibrators that glowed in the dark. Green Willie’s, made of PVC jelly, had a seven-inch long by one and a quarter inch wide dong, with multi-speed vibration. It was soft, pliable, and easy to use on all parts of your body the packaging said. It took two double-A batteries to operate the vibration and power its magical glow and that it was sure to please even the most discriminating men and women. Again, so the packaging said.

“Here,” Maxine mumbled as she pulled two out and handed them to Lucy and me. “They’re easy to find in the dark.”

“Thanks,” we both answered.

One could say that Lucy and I teetered most of the day between thinking this was the coolest shit we’d ever seen and wanting to laugh. I mean, two women in their late sixties, running a sex toy business was beyond cool, but you had to admit there was an element of humor. In addition, when you threw Max into the mix, with all his rumbling and brooding, the fact his mother sold sex toys ratcheted up the comical to damn near hysterical. That being said, we had to know.

“Maxine, I’m curious, what does Max think of your side business?”

“He ignores its existence, of course. When his father died ten years ago, I was still in my sexual prime. Kids, especially boys, don’t like to think their mothers are sexual creatures. I wasn’t dead yet and I knew I’d never remarry, so I looked for quality toys and found them with a company that sold them through home parties. I figured, what the hell, why not sell them. I needed somethin’ to keep me busy now that Tom was gone. Martha was intrigued—her husband gone as well—so she jumped on board and we’ve been the Passion Queens for about eight years now. As for Max, he knows better than to think he can stop me from doing what I want. He just grumbles if it’s brought up and walks away,” she laughed.

“What’s Mad Max’s story?” Lucy asked.

“Max? He’s just like me. He doesn’t like to admit it, though. He's stubborn, likes to run things, bossy, I guess you could say. Wants what he wants, won’t settle for anything less and as hard a working man as you’ll ever meet. My husband, God bless him, was the opposite. Just as laid-back, as the day was long and rolled with the punches. Max, on the other hand, likes order, control, doesn’t like surprises. I imagine that’s why he’s been so irritable. You blew into town and he’s lost control,” she explained, looking right at me.

“His number was in my phone, I didn’t mean to involve him,” I lied, “I dialed him by accident.”

“Oh, I’m not talking about that, I’m talking about the fact he’s barking orders at everyone where you’re concerned. He’s never done that before. And seein’ the hold he had you in last night explains his behavior the last few days.”

“Hold? Somebody left out some details this morning,” Lucy accused.

“It was nothing,” I assured Lucy, “and it won’t happen again. I’m here to do my work and then go back home that’s all.”

“We’ll see,” Maxine mumbled, “but I know my son, darlin’ and what Max wants, Max gets, just so you know.”

“Not this time,” I mumbled.

Maxine’s smile grew and then she patted my arms as she turned to leave the room.

“I’m not looking for a relationship,” I somewhat lied.

She turned back, grinning, and told me “Even better, Max loves a challenge.”

“Oh, she’ll be challenging all right,” Lucy chuckled following Maxine. “Hey, what can you tell me about Jake?” she inquired as they left me standing with a green jelly vibrator and an uneasy feeling.

“Swear to God this trip keeps getting weirder and weirder,” I told the room.

“Thesaurus,” Frank replied as he passed by, heading towards the kitchen.

“What?”

“Never mind, if I have to explain it’s not funny. Trust me, it’s funny,” he replied over his shoulder.

“Green Willies,” I shouted back.

Frank stopped, turned, and asked “What?”

I held up my glowing dong and wiggled it. “Definitely funny,” I chuckled and then turned, shoved it in my pack, and headed towards my room.

I came to Alaska to do research. Three days later, I was the only suspect in two murders and the proud owner of a Green Willie with three-speed vibration. Yes, I’d say my prediction this trip would be a disaster was coming to fruition. Time to make the phone call I’d been avoiding. I needed to inform my superiors that not only had Donald gone rogue and gotten himself killed for it, more than likely, all our research for the past five years was in jeopardy. At this rate, and the way my luck was going, I figured I’d be jobless by the end of the day.

“Oh, God, the peroxide twins are here,” I moaned as Maxine opened her door and let in the bimbos from the bar. So far, every woman I’d met since arriving in Trails End had attended, including the blonde who seemed on a more than friendly basis with Max.

Annie, as Maxine had introduced her, seemed nice enough, but it wasn’t lost on me if she was here and she and Max had a thing, then she was here to stock up for that thing.

And that made the almost kiss I had with Max the night before confusing.

If he had a relationship with her, then why was he almost kissing me? That didn’t say good things about him and it bothered me more than it should.

Lucy and I stayed on the outskirts watching everyone. There were young and old conversing, eating, handling toys, and laughing with each other. Unfortunately, since I’d been the one to find Curly, there were also questions concerning his murder.

When the twins caught sight of us, they made a beeline for me while sucking on one of Maxine’s penis suckers. Blonde number one bit into hers when she arrived and peppermint cream spilled out, running down her mouth like, well, you get the picture.

“Was Curly killed the same as the hippie?” blonde number two asked upon arrival.

“Mmm,” was all I said.

“I’m Suzy and this is Joanne by the way. Pete over at the diner said the chief arrested you, but he released you when Max came charging in and threatened the chief. So . . . are you fuckin’ him or what?”

“Whoa, you ladies don’t beat around the bush,” Lucy chuckled.

“Just bein’ friendly s’all, besides, I’d love to see someone knock Annie off her “Max is mine” pedestal,” Joanne informed us.

“Um, no, I’m not doing anything with Max.”

“So Max and Annie are an item?” Lucy asked, looking back at me.

“Only in her eyes! She lets Max think it’s just friendly swapping of spit, but everyone in town knows she’s holdin’ out for him, except Max, that is,” Suzy whispered.

“So they aren’t exclusive, they see other people,” Lucy inquired as I found my eyes drifting to Annie against my will.

“Max thinks they’re just friends. Annie is hoping for a gold band,” Suzy answered.

“He isn’t the type to settle down. Fair warning if you go there.”
Annie’s warning from the day before ran through my head.

My eyes snapped back to Annie and I caught her watching me. I didn’t know whether to be relieved that he wasn’t the type of guy to settle down or disappointed he wasn’t the type of guy to settle down. I went with neither and resolved myself into staying away from him. It didn’t matter what he did or didn’t do with me or any other woman in this town I was here for a few weeks then going home.

“All right, let’s get started. Everyone please take a seat and we’ll begin the demonstration of Cockzilla,” Martha shouted to the room.

We made our way to our chairs and sat while Martha and Maxine pulled out the night's main attraction.

“Cockzilla can be used by either man or woman. It expands to fit a waist size up to sixty inches so you won’t have any trouble there, Jolene. Francis, you tell Ned it’s meant to be worn over his erection this time, we don’t want him hurting himself again,” Martha explained to members of the party.

I saw women nodding their heads as Maxine pulled out a rubber penis the size of an elephant. It was connected to a harness that wraps around your waist and between your legs. Maxine helped Martha into the strap-on and then Martha began parading around the room like a runway model. Women reached out to touch the rubber penis, commenting on its softness of texture and likeness to their husband’s former youth. When she made her way around the room to Lucy and me, I lowered my eyes to keep from laughing. The whole demonstration had me on the verge of hysterics, but I knew they took their work seriously, so I had to bite my tongue.

Then Maxine commented, “Now, the size of this particular model is on the large size so you ladies need to remember to lift your hips for full penetration.”

“What about from behind, Ned’s got a bad hip so he prefers standin,’” Francis, a plump woman with a cherub face and silver hair asked.

“Martha, let’s show the ladies,” Maxine jumped in.

Martha nodded and then headed towards her as women ducked from the protruding appendage. When Martha walked up to Maxine, she bent at the waist and put her hands on the side of her couch as Martha moved in behind her.

I grabbed Lucy’s hand for strength and we both coughed to cover a laugh that broke loose. Needing something to keep from laughing further, I grabbed two of the cock-o-late suckers and we both shoved them in our mouths.

“Tell Ned to bend at the knees, and then you lift your ass just so,” Martha explained to Francis.

Then Maxine lifted her ass, Martha bent at the knees, and I bit down on the sucker, the cream pouring out in an attempt to control my laughter.

As Francis replied, “Oh, I get it, it’s all in the knees,” the front door opened, slammed, and then a rumbling voice growled, “Jesus, what the fuck,”

Max, with a pale horrified look on his face, scanned the room as everyone called out “Hey, Max, how’s it going?”

As he took in the room and then took in his mother’s position, he looked as if he would roar in male indignation.

Then his eyes landed on mine.

I couldn’t help it, the cream was pouring out of my sucker so I had to do something. Therefore, I licked the length of the chocolate cock as he watched. Okay, I may have closed my eyes a bit and moaned at the tasty goodness, but who wouldn’t?

Max’s jaw clenched as he watched my tongue slide down the length of it and then back up. Then he bit out “Fuck me,” as he turned and was gone, slamming the door on his way out.

Maxine started laughing, hell, we all started laughing as Martha hooted, “And that, ladies, is how to make a man lose his mind.”

Somehow, after the party ended, Lucy and I found ourselves in the Jeep following Suzy and Joanne to Last Call for a drink. As we entered, heads turned but no applause was heard. It seemed everyone was here in silent remembrance of Curly.

The four of us headed to the bar and took a seat. Ralph Potter, who I now knew, was Curly’s cousin, made his way over and stopped in front of me. I looked up and gave him a sad smile as he leaned in and asked, “Did he suffer?”

“No, I don’t think so. I’m so sorry, Ralph.”

“He lived a good life and he’d get a kick out of knowin’ he was the center of a murder investigation,” he chuckled.

Reaching below the bar, Ralph pulled out shot glasses and put one in front of me, filling it with tequila. Then he poured one for himself, raised it, and I picked up my own.

“To Curly, the blindest pilot this side of the tundra.”