A Regimental Affair (18 page)

Ginny smiled. ‘It’ll be good to be back. Even if it’s not for long. You know I’ve asked for a posting?’

Debbie stepped back so she could look at Ginny properly. ‘Yeah, Richard said. Why? You’ve only just got here.’

Ginny shrugged. ‘It’s just not working out. Personalities and stuff.’ Debbie didn’t say anything. Ginny shuffled and then picked up her luggage. ‘Come on. Where’s the car?’

Debbie settled Danny in the baby seat while Ginny stuffed her kit into the boot. She slammed it shut and plonked herself into the passenger seat as Debbie got in and switched on the engine. ‘I hope you haven’t any plans for tonight,’ said Debbie. ‘I’ve got a casserole in the oven and a couple of bottles of red that need dealing with.’

‘As long as I can have a bath first, I don’t care what I do.’

‘Fine, I’ll drop you at the mess. You can sort yourself out then come on over to my place.’

‘That’ll be great. Now, tell me what’s been going on while I’ve been away.’

Debbie drove and chatted and filled Ginny in on all the wives’ gossip and quizzed Ginny about what all the men had been up to. She was longing to ask Ginny about the accident and the real reason behind her request for a posting, but she decided that to broach difficult questions like that might best be done later, over a couple of glasses of passable claret. Behind them in the child seat, Danielle dozed, and under the wheels the miles passed.

It was mid-afternoon by the time they drove into the barracks. When Ginny had left, the trees had been in full leaf and the sports pitches had been bright green. Now the trees were bare and the grass looked drab. The place looked dreary and lifeless and somewhat unkempt. Ginny felt irrationally disappointed. She’d been so looking forward to coming back, but this bleak, wintry scene wasn’t what she’d had in mind.

Debbie dropped her at the front door of the mess and Ginny promised she’d be round in a couple of hours as she dragged her luggage up to her room. On her way up the stairs she listened for sounds that there might be someone else in the mess, but the silence was as deep as the carpet. Her room was as she had left it but it smelled musty and damp. She dropped her bags and wandered over to open the window. A bit of fresh air would help remove the staleness. Despite Debbie’s effusive welcome, despite the happy chat in the car – despite everything – Ginny felt very lonely.

She looked at her pile of belongings, she looked at her other possessions that she had been separated from for six months, and thought that it wasn’t much to show for thirty-odd years on Earth. She asked herself what she had achieved. And if she disappeared off the face of the earth tomorrow, who would mourn her passing? Netta was wrapped up with her family in the Isles of Scilly. Her parents she only saw once in a blue moon. Yes, they would be sad for a while but then they would carry on and she would slowly fade out of everyone’s memories. It would be as though she had never existed. And if she didn’t disappear tomorrow, what had she to look forward to? Well, that was almost more depressing – a lonely old age was all she could envisage. No significant other. Ginny grimaced to herself. She didn’t want that, but somehow she didn’t seem to have a knack for finding the right sort of man. Most of her friends had managed it. Debbie had managed it. God, even Alice had managed it. Why couldn’t she? She kicked her bag full of dirty washing out of her way and went to run a bath.

She was feeling more upbeat by the time she got round to Debbie’s. Danny was already in bed, Debbie had candles lit in her sitting room, there was a delicious smell of something wafting from the kitchen and she was greeted with a glass of wine.

This is more like it,’ she said appreciatively after she had taken a sip of her drink. ‘The mess is like a morgue. Not a soul around.’

‘No one else back?’

‘I was the only officer in this group. I think most of the rest are coming back next week with Richard and the CO.’

‘Home in time for Christmas, that’s something anyway,’ said Debbie, settling herself on the sofa and putting her feet on the coffee table.

‘I suppose.’

Debbie caught the hint of sadness in Ginny’s voice.

‘Your parents staying in Australia for the holiday?’

Ginny nodded. ‘And it’s too risky to go to Netta’s at this time of year. If the weather gets too bad, the choppers don’t run and I could be stranded for days. Besides which, it’ll take me the best part of two days to get there, and two days back, and the holiday is only a week.’

‘Well, join us for Christmas.’

Ginny took another sip of wine as she considered this offer. ‘I couldn’t, really. You don’t want an outsider around on a family day.’

‘But you’re not an outsider. You’re one of our oldest friends. And anyway, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the festivities if I thought you were languishing all alone in the mess.’

‘I’d have plenty to keep me busy. I thought I’d volunteer for duty officer. There’s no point in anyone else doing it.’

‘You can do duty officer from here. The guardroom can just as easily ring our number as the mess one if they need you. Please.’

‘Well, only if you let me help with the cooking and clearing up,’ said Ginny, weakening.

‘Done. Now you sit here while I dish up.’ Debbie handed Ginny the remote for the television and pottered out to the kitchen to serve up supper. Ginny didn’t much want to watch the TV. She’d done without it for six months and hadn’t really missed it. She put the remote and her drink on the table and stood up. She wandered over to the mantelpiece to examine the photos displayed there. She couldn’t help noticing one of Alice’s engraved cards. It was addressed to Richard, Debbie and house guests. ‘At Home. Drinks. December 25th, 12.00-1.00 p.m. Casual.’ For a ghastly moment Ginny thought she’d have to go along too if she was Debbie’s house guest. But then she remembered that if she was duty officer, she should visit the cooks preparing Christmas lunch for the other duty personnel. It would be the ideal excuse to get her out of the embarrassment of seeing Bob anywhere other than the office. And she didn’t think she could face seeing Megan either.

‘That was scrummy,’ said Ginny appreciatively as she mopped up the last of her gravy with a forkful of mashed potato.

‘Easy-peasy,’ said Debbie. ‘I just did as the recipe book told me.’

‘All the same. It was the best meal I’ve had in six months.’

‘That doesn’t surprise me. You’ve lost an awful lot of weight. You look positively anorexic.’ Debbie had been bursting with curiosity as to the reason for Ginny’s sudden decision to leave the regiment. A discussion stemming from Ginny’s weight loss might be the gambit that would succeed.

‘I could have done with losing some.’

‘No you couldn’t. You’re like a rake anyway.’

‘Well …’

Debbie gave the discussion another prod in the right direction. ‘So what’s bothering you? Is it Netta?’

‘Netta?’ Ginny was flummoxed.

‘Oh, sorry. It’s just that Richard said …’

‘Richard said what?’

Debbie took a sip of wine. She felt she was just about to make a
faux pas
. ‘He phoned me from Kosovo. He was really worried about you. He said that he thought it was something to do with the accident, but then when you asked to move on and you were ever so miserable, he thought that it had something to do with Netta.’

‘Oh. Well, I did say it was for personal reasons.’

‘Is it?’

‘Sort of.’

Debbie looked at her, a small frown creasing her forehead. ‘Ginny, I’m only asking because I’m your friend. Whatever it is, you can tell me.’

There was a silence while Ginny thought. ‘I’m just miserable, that’s all. I don’t seem to fit in. It’s my fault, I suppose, but I feel I’d be better off elsewhere.’ She glanced up at Debbie to see if the lie had been accepted.

Debbie hid her disbelief as best she could, but she thought it sounded like a monster whopper. ‘But everyone loves you. You’re the most popular person I’ve ever met.’

‘Not really. It’s all a front.’

Debbie didn’t understand. ‘That doesn’t make sense. You can’t fake being popular. Either you are or you aren’t. And you are.’

Ginny shrugged. ‘OK, so perhaps they do quite like me. But it’s only because I work so hard at it. And for what? It’s all very shallow – meaningless really. I still don’t really fit in. I’m not right here.’ She still didn’t look at Debbie.

Debbie twiddled her wine glass by its stem and willed Ginny to meet her gaze. ‘So why don’t you tell me the truth? And don’t tell me it’s something to do with the accident, as I simply won’t believe you. Someone has said or done something to hurt you, haven’t they? That’s what’s at the bottom of this.’

‘No,’ lied Ginny, still staring at her plate.

‘Have it your way.’ She topped up their glasses and then put their plates on a tray. ‘Pudding? Cheese?’ she offered.

‘Nothing for me. I’m stuffed.’

Debbie took the laden tray out to the kitchen. When she returned she brought with her a fresh bottle of red. ‘So tell me,’ she said, putting it on the table by the nearly empty one, ‘how did the accident happen? All I heard was that you were run off the road and ended up halfway down a mountain and were lucky to escape with your lives.’

‘That sounds a bit more dramatic than it really was,’ began Ginny, and she launched into a description of the events. ‘And the only thing that was really damaged,’ she finished, ‘was the Land Rover. It was a write-off.’

‘And you? Weren’t you hurt?’

‘Not really. I got a cut on my head that bled like a stuck pig, but then, head wounds do.’

‘Weren’t you frightened?’

‘If I’d been on my own I might have been, but Colonel Bob was there.’

Debbie grinned. ‘Better him than a spotty subaltern. I mean, if you’re going to be in a fix, at least you picked someone fanciable to be in a fix with.’

‘What do you mean?’ asked Ginny angrily.

Debbie was surprised at the sudden ferocity of her reaction but she’d had a glass of wine too many to realise she ought to back off. ‘Well, you’ve got to admit that he’s a great looking guy. If I wasn’t married to Richard, I would fancy him myself.’

‘Well, I don’t. Understand?’

Debbie took another gulp of wine. ‘OK, OK. But all I’m saying is that if I’d been stuck with him all night …’

‘Well, you weren’t. I was, and you can keep you smutty innuendoes out of it.’ Ginny slammed her glass down on the coffee table with such force that she was lucky it didn’t break. As it was, some wine slopped over on to the polished surface.

Debbie’s eyes were wide with shock at Ginny’s outburst and she leaned back defensively. ‘Sorry, sorry. I take it all back.’

Ginny breathed deeply a few times. ‘No, I’m sorry. I overreacted.’

Despite Debbie’s slightly befuddled state, cogs began turning. ‘Ginny, when you were stuck on this blasted mountain, did he have a go at you? Is that what has made you so upset and angry? Did he assault you?’

Ginny, calmer now, almost laughed. ‘No, he didn’t “have a go at me”, as you put it.’

‘Oh.’ She sounded almost disappointed. ‘I just wondered if that was why you want to get away from here so badly?’

‘No.’ She said the word with finality, hoping that would be an end to Debbie’s interrogation.

But Debbie wasn’t to be deflected that easily. ‘So what really happened to upset you? Something or someone did while you were out in Kosovo, because right up to the moment you left here you were having a ball.’

‘Nothing. As I said, I don’t fit in and I’m fed up with being the only woman in the mess.’

Debbie snorted and nearly lost a mouthful of wine. ‘You? Hating being the only woman in the mess? Christ, this one’s got bells on! I wish you’d be straight with me. I’m your best friend and if you can’t trust me, who the hell can you?’

‘Indeed,’ said Ginny.

‘So?’

‘I …’ She hesitated. ‘No, I can’t.’

Debbie felt a puff of elation. Ginny was weakening.

‘Why can’t you?’

‘If I told you that, you’d work everything out. There are too many implications.’

Debbie might have had a bit too much to drink but she was still in full possession of her woman’s intuition. Besides which, she suddenly remembered Sarah’s deduction about what might have happened while Ginny and Bob had been stranded, and she put it all together with Ginny’s reaction a few seconds earlier. ‘So if the colonel didn’t have a go at you – was it mutual?’

Ginny sagged, defeated, her body language confirming Debbie’s suspicions.

‘Oh, Ginny.’ She found it hard to believe how stupid Ginny had been. ‘You didn’t?’ Ginny nodded. ‘And it’s ended in tears.’ As if an affair with a married man who was also your boss could end any other way.

‘It hardly even started.’

‘What? You came on to him and he told you where to go?’

‘No. It was mutual. In fact, it was me that tried to resist. Not very hard, I admit, but I did try. No, it was hearts and flowers when we were stuck on the mountain – and for a while after – but then … well, something put the wind up him, and he decided that it wasn’t such a good idea after all. So it was bye-bye, Ginny, and close the door behind you on your way out.’

‘You mean he told you to ask for a posting?’

‘No, that was my idea. I got an ‘interview’ in his office and he told me that he couldn’t lie to Alice. There was no way we could carry on seeing each other and that whatever had happened between us was to be forgotten.’

Debbie longed to play devil’s advocate and ask Ginny how on earth she thought it would have been possible for them to carry on. If the wives didn’t gossip, the soldiers would. Privacy was almost non-existent and an army barracks was more close-knit than a Norfolk village.

‘Do you love him?’

‘I thought I did. In fact, after that first night together, I thought he felt the same way about me – he said he had since he first met me. And, do you know something, I actually believed him. I’d adored him from the beginning, but it was only after he said that that I realised I might have been in love with him But now …’Her voice trailed into silence and her eyes looked suspiciously moist.

‘Oh, Ginny.’ Debbie knew Ginny was foolish and misguided, but she was also aching with pain and Debbie felt for her.