A Regimental Affair (21 page)

Ginny was watching Bob. Around her the party ebbed and flowed, but she was isolated by her thoughts and oblivious to the noise and activity that surrounded her. People were laughing and joking, chatting and bantering and Ginny was on a solitary island made up of dark thoughts. When she saw Bob and Alice arrive, she had almost fled the party. She didn’t think she could cope with being in a social environment with him, with the danger that they might be forced into any sort of proximity. She had been just about able to cope in Kosovo before she had flown back, and she was dreading it when work resumed after the holidays were over, but she hadn’t been prepared for meeting him again this evening. Ginny had been about to turn on her heel and leave when Debbie had caught her arm and whispered that it would cause comment. Ginny had felt a sudden shiver of fear – was she
so
obvious? Had anyone else noticed? Debbie had assured her that she had only noticed because she knew how Ginny would be feeling. She took Ginny to one side and told her to brace up, hold her head high, keep on the other side of the room, pretend she didn’t care, and think ‘Up yours, Bob’. So Ginny took Debbie’s advice and decided she would front it out. But fronting it out took courage and Ginny found that the easiest source of courage came out of a bottle. Luckily there seemed to be an endless supply.

There was still some time to go before midnight and Ginny knew she had had too much to drink. She was aware of feeling faintly tipsy but who cared? It
was
New Year’s Eve after all, and if a girl couldn’t let her hair down then, when could she? Besides, she had no one to give a damn about what sort of state she got into. If she made a complete fool of herself, she was only going to embarrass herself, no one else. The depressing thought made her remember her feelings towards Bob, so there she was, glowering malevolently at him across the room, and even more malevolently at Alice. What had that dried-up, charmless, humourless, cow got that she hadn’t? What hold had Alice got over Bob that he would choose to spend his days with her and not Ginny? Why was she excluded from long-term relationships? Why couldn’t she find love and happiness? She was dreading midnight. Everyone else would be hugging and kissing and making promises and having hopes for the new year, and what had she to look forward to? Fuck all, that’s what.

Ginny was so wrapped up in her own dark misery that she was unaware of Debbie approaching until Debbie grabbed her arm and steered her out of Taz’s drawing room and into the kitchen, which was mercifully empty apart from a couple of men from the village whom Debbie didn’t recognise. They were deep in a conversation about some local issue and barely glanced at the two women as Debbie propelled Ginny through the kitchen and into the scullery at the back.

‘What do you think you’re doing?’ she hissed at Ginny. ‘You couldn’t make how you feel about Bob much more obvious if you had a neon sign flashing on your forehead.’

This was the last straw for Ginny. She was already feeling utterly down and dejected, and to have her best friend bawling her out on top was too much. She dissolved into sobs. Huge, body-wracking gulps of sheer misery. ‘I-I-I-I’m s-s-sorry,’ she wept. ‘I-i-i-it’s just I-I-I-I’m s-s-so m-m-miserable.’ Debbie took her in her arms and hugged her, but this show of kindness only made Ginny feel worse. Not only was the party ruined for her but now she was spoiling it for Debbie. ‘I-I-I-I’m s-s-s-sorry,’ she repeated through her gasping sobs. ‘I-I-I-I’m j-j-j-just b-b-being s-s-silly.’

It was at this moment that Taz, wondering why the light was on in the scullery, came out to investigate and found them. ‘God, I’m sorry,’ she said, a little stunned at the scene. She wasn’t used to finding casual acquaintances having a traumatic time in her utility room. ‘Can I do anything to help?’

This further display of kindness brought on a fresh wave of unhappiness in Ginny. Debbie shook her head and Taz retreated tactfully. It was several minutes before Ginny’s emotional storm began to abate. Slowly she brought herself under control and her sobs were reduced to an occasional stuttering intake of breath.

‘You really are down in the dumps if that was all brought on by Bob,’ said Debbie.

‘No,’ said Ginny. ‘It’s not just him. New Year isn’t a good time to be single and alone. It just all got too much.’

‘But Bob being here hasn’t helped matters.’

‘Well, no. Not really.’

It took a while, but Debbie persuaded Ginny to rejoin the party and made sure that the slight smudge under Ginny’s eyes, where her mascara had run a little, was repaired.

‘You look fine,’ Debbie assured her. ‘Honestly. I tell you, if I’d cried my eyes out like that my face would be all red and puffy and my eyeballs would be so bloodshot that my friends would worry that if I opened them too wide I’d bleed to death.’ Ginny smiled wanly at Debbie’s attempt at humour. ‘Attagirl,’ said Debbie. ‘Now head up and think “fuck ’em”.’ She pushed her out of the scullery and into the kitchen and towards the noise of the party.

They had barely gone two steps when the kitchen door was pushed open and Taz led Bob in.

‘I’m so sorry about that,’ their hostess was saying as she led Bob across to the sink and picked up a cloth. ‘Someone caught my elbow just as I was pouring and … well, you got the benefit. I hope it won’t stain.’

From the angle where the two were standing, they did not immediately see Debbie and Ginny who were stopped in their tracks, unsure whether to proceed or retreat. Taz began to mop some spilt red wine off Bob’s jacket. As she did so, he looked up and saw the two women standing staring at him. He also saw the fleeting look of longing flit like a shadow over Ginny’s face. His smile slowly faded.

‘Good evening,’ he said to them. His voice was cold and unfriendly. He hadn’t wanted this encounter. Taz glanced up from her ministrations and took in the look that passed between Bob and Ginny. She didn’t know its significance exactly, but significant it certainly was.

‘Something wrong?’ she asked brightly, pretending to ignore the sudden tension she felt in Bob through the sleeve of his jacket and the change in atmosphere.

‘Nothing,’ said Ginny, squaring her shoulders. She walked out of the kitchen followed by Debbie.

Outside the kitchen Ginny leant against a door jamb. ‘Fuck,’ she said, exhaling slowly. Debbie raised her eyebrows.

‘Not the most welcome of meetings.’

‘Do you think Taz guessed anything?’

‘No. I mean, why should she even suspect anything in the first place? And if she did notice a slight animosity between you, well, he’s your boss and it’s not unknown for superiors and subordinates to fall out.’

‘Yeah. I’m just oversensitive at the moment. Sorry. Come on, let’s party.’

And Ginny, over her tears and determined to put her unhappiness behind her, plunged into the noisy crowd.

In the kitchen, Taz, having finished with Bob, was putting another batch of sausage rolls in the oven. Not only had she seen the look between Bob and Ginny but she had also felt Bob stiffen with tension. Something was going on between Bob and Ginny, and Taz was sure she knew what it was.

Having only been interested in Ginny’s unfortunate liaison from a personal point of view, things had suddenly taken an unexpected turn. The news that Colonel Car Crash had not only been involved in another smash, but had also bonked a junior officer might have any amount of mileage in it. She’d have to find out a great deal more. She thought perhaps, as Ginny was going to be on her own in the mess for the remainder of the holiday, she might appreciate a bit of home cooking. She considered inviting Ginny to supper but then dismissed the idea. She didn’t know Ginny well enough for the implied intimacy that was involved in a supper invitation. No, it should be lunch. Lunch with lots of booze should do the trick.

New Year’s Day brought a quiet morning at Montgomery House. Megan was still in bed, not having got home from her babysitting job until the small hours. In the kitchen, Alice was rereading the previous day’s New Year’s honours list, checking that she hadn’t missed some old friend or acquaintance to whom she should send a congratulatory note. Bob was nursing a cup of sweet tea and a hangover with equal care.

Alice lowered her paper and studied him. ‘Headache, Bob?’ she asked without a trace of sympathy in her voice.

‘Not really, my dear,’ he replied, hoping she hadn’t noticed the wince as the sound of his words crashed and reverberated through his throbbing temples.

‘You deserve one.’ She folded the paper and put it on the kitchen table.

‘Do I, darling?’

‘You know very well that you were quite …’ Alice paused. She wanted to say drunk. That’s what he’d been, for heaven’s sake, but it was an ugly word with ugly implications. ‘… you were quite merry.’

‘Only a bit,’ said Bob weakly, wishing she would shut up and go away. He had gone beyond being afraid he was going to die and was now afraid he wasn’t. It would be a happy release under the circumstances.

‘Well I must say you showed a remarkable lack of self-control. I don’t know what people like Richard and Alisdair thought of your behaviour.’

‘They wouldn’t care. They were pretty well-oiled themselves.’

Alice sniffed. ‘I think you ought to put a stop to your officers drinking to excess.’

Bob sighed. ‘Why, for heaven’s sake? We work hard, we play hard. What on earth is your problem with that?’

‘You should set an example.’

Bob wasn’t feeling well, and this lecture from Alice was beginning to grind down his seriously reduced supply of patience. All he wanted was to be left in peace. He knew he’d overdone things the night before, he was painfully aware of it and he didn’t need her nagging on and on about it.

‘I was off duty, we were all off duty, it was a splendid party, we all enjoyed it. Whether or not I had too much to drink is irrelevant,’ he said quietly. ‘My officers know that I am a good CO and they know that I only demand of them the same standards I set for myself.’

‘Huh,’ sniffed Alice. ‘Some standards, if last night was anything to go by. Take Ginny Turner …’

‘I don’t think Ginny Turner has any place in this discussion.’

‘Oh no? I think she has. She was disgustingly drunk. She was reeling.’

Alice had gone too far. What had happened between him and Ginny was still a raw and tender memory. He’d seen her reaction when he’d arrived at the party and he had a fair idea why she and Debbie had disappeared. He’d pretended not to watch her but he’d been conscious of every move and gesture she’d made, and of her long black stares that seemed to swing between malevolence and longing. It had unsettled him because he knew he was the cause, and the guilt he felt at his adultery was now compounded with guilt over what he had done to Ginny. She had enough to contend with, without Alice having a go at her too. He lashed out.

‘So what if she
was
drunk? At least she’s got more life in her than some I could mention. At least she’s natural. At least she’s not shit-scared she’ll let something slip if she gets pissed. At least she can let her hair down, which is more than can be said for you. You never enjoy yourself because you’re frightened you might forget your elocution lessons and revert to your roots. But that doesn’t mean the rest of us have the same hang-ups. And the sad thing is, no one would give a stuff if they found out your father was only a staff sergeant. It doesn’t matter. You’re the only one with a hang-up about rank. No one else gives a flying fuck.’

‘Lose a house point for bad language, Dad,’ said Megan, yawning and sleep-dishevelled from the doorway. ‘And he’s right, you know,’ she said laconically to her mother.

Alice had gone completely pale, an expression of horrified disbelief etched on to her face. She had never been spoken to like that before and Bob had done it in front of their daughter. How could he? And, not only that, Megan had supported him. She felt betrayed by them both. They had ganged up against her. They knew how vulnerable she felt about her background, that she hated anyone referring to it; that it was taboo. She felt humiliated but, more than that, she felt angry. How
dare
they? How dare they mention that her father had never been commissioned?

Suddenly she felt she couldn’t bear the sight of either of them. She had to get away from them both but Megan was in the doorway and Alice was afraid that if she went close to her daughter she might strike her. There was only one route of escape and, banging her chair backwards, she headed for the back door.

‘Damn you both!’ she snarled at her family with such uncharacteristic force that she succeeded in shocking them both as, dragging her cardigan around her, she stormed out into the grey, damp morning.

Alice had no plan of where she was going, she just knew she couldn’t stay in the house. She was close to tears and shaking with suppressed rage. She stamped down the path and on to the pavement. She nearly bowled someone over in the process.

‘Hey!’

Alice looked up. It was Sarah. ‘Sorry,’ she mumbled. Part of her was terrified she was going to burst into tears and have to explain, but part of her wanted hugs and sympathy.

‘Is something wrong?’

‘Nothing.’

Alice was aware that Sarah was studying her. She was nobody’s fool; Alice knew that. No coat, no make-up. She would guess that Alice wasn’t out for a constitutional or planning on going visiting. Sarah would surely realise that she had left the house in a hurry and might even work out that she had rushed out because she was upset. But Alice was so numb with the shock of Bob’s dreadful outburst that she wasn’t sure if she cared if Sarah knew or not.

‘I don’t know about you, but I’m gagging for a cup of tea. Would you like one?’ she heard Sarah ask.

Although Alice had lived on the patch for the best part of nine months, this was the first time anyone had invited her for tea or coffee on a whim. Feeling raw from her recent set-to with her family, and suddenly grateful for this unexpected gesture of friendship, Alice accepted. Besides which, she was suddenly aware that it was too chilly, and she was too inappropriately dressed, to stay out of doors for long, and she couldn’t return home until she’d calmed down thoroughly.