A Reluctant Companion (19 page)

He stood up to come to her, leaning down so their faces were just inches apart. “You were nearly raped.”

She nodded. “Thank you—”

“Raped and murdered.” He spoke so ferociously the pulse in his temple bulged.

“I know.” A chill ran down her spine as she briefly contemplated just how close she’d come to both. If he and his soldiers had been even a few minutes later…

He pushed her back, hands on her shoulder holding her down. “Is that what you wanted?”

Blinking, she struggled to focus on him and suppress the thoughts of her attackers. “What?”

Tiernan shook her. “You’d rather be raped than stay with me?”

“No, but—”

His mouth on hers cut off her words, and it was rough, demanding she respond. He ground against her lips so forcefully that the cut on her mouth from when Bud had backhanded her started bleeding again. Copper filled her mouth, and she turned her head.

“Do you want to be hurt?”

She watched him warily.

“Is that what you need to realize you’re safer with me?” Scowling, Tiernan grasped the front of her white shirt and ripped it. Buttons flew everywhere, and she gasped.

“Stop this.”

“Would they have stopped?” With a wrenching motion, he tugged the blouse down her arms and dragged her against them. “They would have taken what they wanted and left you for dead.”

Tears streamed down her cheeks. “I know.”

“You left me.” He shook her again before laying atop her. Madison struggled to escape his hold, managing to lift one of her hands to rake her fingernails down his face. He hissed in pain, but didn’t retaliate in kind.

“Would you prefer those rapists to me?” He kissed her again as he grabbed her breast in a rough hand.

His anger fed hers, and she bit his tongue until the taste of blood, this time his, once again filled her mouth, and he withdrew is lips. She tried to shove him off her, and they ended up rolling off the cot and crashing to the floor. The impact jarred her, but she kept her focus on Tiernan. He gripped her wrists above her head and began tugging at the waistband of her pants. “What are you doing?”

“Giving you what you clearly want. Tenderness and indulgence mean nothing to you.” He glared at her as he worked her pants down her hips. “You’d rather take your chances on the road, being raped, than stay with me.”

She shook her head, torn between fear and outrage. “You wouldn’t listen to me.”

He had to let go of her wrists to finish tugging off her pants, and she reached out to shove against his chest. Madison gasped as his hand slipped between her thighs, his fingers pushing into her. She was shocked by his intrusion, but even more shocked by how easily he gained entrance. She was soaking wet and appalled to find his actions were turning her on. “You have to stop this.”

“I don’t listen, remember?” He pushed his fingers deeper, finding the spot that always made her lift her hips and silently plead for more. Even under the circumstances, tonight was no exception. “Do you think they would have listened if you’d begged them to stop?”

“Tiernan.” Madison shoved at his shoulders, trying to push him away more in a need to deny how she was feeling than to stop what he was doing. “You can’t.”

“Beg me to stop.” He settled between her thighs.

Madison grasped his shirt, somehow finding herself tearing frantically at the buttons as his erection pressed into her heat. “No,” she whispered. “Don’t stop.”

Tiernan grasped her ponytail, tugging her head back painfully to reveal her neck. Even the kisses he pressed there, somewhere between suction and biting, didn’t dampen her arousal. He surged into her pussy as his mouth moved lower, biting her breasts hard enough to make her yelp. To her embarrassment, she arched harder against him each time his teeth raked her flesh.

Madison dug her nails into his back, pressing hard to hold him against her as they thrust against each other. He gripped her arms painfully to hold her still beneath him. They thrashed and wrestled, both driven by their demons and the need for each other. Madison cried out as he came within her, making her orgasm, and dug her fingers so deeply into his back that wetness spilled down her hands. Even knowing she was making him bleed couldn’t compel her to release her grip for another minute or so, as the convulsions of her climax slowly faded.

With a sound of disgust, Tiernan suddenly released her and rolled away, his back to her. “I can’t believe I did that.”

“We,” she said in a raspy voice. She couldn’t deny she’d become an active participant soon enough. Angry desire on both their parts had swept away whatever lesson he’d planned to teach her. Feeling ashamed, she sat up near him, drawing her knees to her chest.

He shook his head. “I raped you. I should be branded and castrated.”

Madison hesitantly touched his shoulder. “No. You were angry and upset, perhaps not thinking clearly, but I was too.” Reaction was sitting in, and she shivered, searching for something to cover herself. His shirt was handy, and she wrapped it around her shoulders. “I could have asked you to stop, and I didn’t. In fact, I told you not to.”

He turned his head to look at her, scowling. “I told you to beg me to stop, but I wasn’t going to. I wanted to show you just what you could be facing traveling alone. It was supposed to teach you that you’re safe with me.” His cold laugh was sharp enough to scratch her ears. “That’s a lesson well learned, isn’t it?”

“Please stop. We both did this.” She touched his back, wincing at the gouges she’d left in his flesh that still oozed blood. “I think our fury with each other urged us to do this.” In retrospect, it felt an awful lot like fighting and making up all at once.

He arched a brow. “If that’s the case, you shouldn’t make me angry.”

Narrowing her eyes, she said fiercely, “Don’t you dare blame me for making you angry. You’re the one who started this.”

“Because I wouldn’t indulge your request to go home.” His eyes darkened with a shadow of what might have been pain. “I thought you were happy with me.”

She exhaled harshly. “I was, and you would have known that if you’d bothered to listen to me earlier.”

He seemed poised to make an irate retort, but then his chest rose and fell with a deep breath. “You’re right. I should have listened. I should have listened then, and I should have listened now, before attacking you.” Tiernan lifted a hand to brush the hair out of his eyes, and it was trembling. “When I saw that animal holding you, hitting you…well, I would have ripped him apart with my bare hands if Aidan hadn’t shot him first.”

His words made her smile, and she decided there must be something wrong with her. “I find that very sweet.”

He laughed, and it still held a sharp note, but was closer to genuine amusement. “That’s fucked up, Madison.”

She nodded. “I was just thinking something similar, but I do find it sweet. Can’t help it.” With a shrug, she said, “I’m just glad you showed up in time.” As he turned to face her completely, she looked down. “I think I knew you’d follow me.”

He frowned. “Was all this some kind of test?”

Madison looked up, annoyed at his assumption that she would play such childish games. “Of course not. I’d hoped to be home first, so you could see why I needed to go, why I need to be there.” Licking her lips, careful to avoid the salty tang of blood from the bleeding cut, she said, “I was going to come back afterward, if you still wanted me.”

He looked skeptical. “If that’s the case, why did you run off to go home when I denied permission?”

Resentment stirred again. “For one thing, I shouldn’t need your permission.” Sighing, she said, “My momma is worse, Tiernan. She might be dying, and I have to be there. Can you understand that?”

He groaned. “What a mess.” His hand made another inroad through his curls. “I should have taken the time to listen to you. The rest could have been avoided.”

Tentatively, she reached for his hand. “Why didn’t you?”

There was a hint of vulnerability in his expression that was almost discomfiting. “I reacted and followed my gut. When you asked, the thought of letting you go filled me with…I can’t describe it. It was instinctive to refuse to let you go. It might not make sense, but it was like a necessary act of self-preservation.”

“Oh.” How to respond to that? Seeing Tiernan so open, hearing him be so honest, left her speechless. She’d had no idea how profoundly his perceived abandonment by her had affected him. How deeply did his emotions go? He’d kept her in his room and at his side for the past two months, atypically of him. He’d discharged his other companions, with the exception of Cleo, and she knew he wasn’t sleeping with the other woman. Tiernan was rearranging everything to fit her into his life.

She was afraid to ask why, to probe too deeply. Reading too much into what he currently felt could be disastrous for her. After seeing how he’d dealt with Nina, she knew Tiernan’s interest could wane in a flash, and she couldn’t stand the thought of loving him completely but being sent away. Better not to probe his feelings. “Well, you might not believe it, but I left because it felt necessary to me too. I promised Rosie I would come home. I can’t not be there when my mother dies, if she does.”

He nodded. “I wasn’t there when my mother died, but it happened so quickly that it wouldn’t have mattered if I had been. Nothing would have changed. There would have been no time for goodbyes.”

Madison stroked his cheek. “That must have hurt.”

He shrugged. “We weren’t close.”

“I’m sorry.” Gently, she touched his lips. “That must be hard too. I’m very close to my family, and I can’t imagine not having them, not being there if Momma passes.”

He kissed her fingertips. “You have to be with them.”

She nodded. “Thank you for understanding. If you still want me when…after it’s over…I’ll come back to you.” He shook his head, making her stomach drop. Swallowing, she said, “In that case, I guess this is goodbye.”

Tiernan grasped her hand in his, clutching tightly. “No. I can’t imagine not wanting you. I just meant I’ll come with you.”

Her eyes widened. “Are you sure? Can you spare the time?”

He shrugged. “I’ll make time.”

Tears clouded her eyes, and she blinked them away. “Thank you.” It was difficult to get the words out through the sodden lump of emotion clogging her throat.

With a soft sound of distress, Tiernan brushed his finger lightly over a deep bite mark on the curve of her left breast. “I’m an animal.”

“Me too,” she said, touching the claw marks on his back.

“I’ll understand if you never want me to touch you again.”

Madison shook her head. “I don’t think that’ll be necessary.” She brought his hand to her lips to brush a kiss against his knuckles, hiding the wince of pain that flared when he brushed the cut Bud had left on her mouth.

“I don’t deserve you.”

Flashing him a bright smile, she nodded. “No, probably not.”

Tiernan chuckled. “Your modesty is refreshing, Madison.” He got to his feet before bending down to pick her up.

She snuggled against him as he carried her a few feet to the cot and laid her down gently. When he started to stand, she gripped his shoulders. “Where are you going?”

“You need your rest.”

Madison bit her lip before remembering the injury. “I’d sleep better with you beside me.”

He seemed hesitant. “I don’t think I have the right to be with you right now.”

Rolling her eyes, she grabbed his hand and tugged, trying to force him down beside her. “I’m asking you to stay. You once told me you’d give me anything I wanted. Are you a liar?”

He frowned, his mood remaining dark as his gaze roamed over her body, focusing on the bruises and bites. “Not a liar, but not a man with honor.”

She sighed, rolling onto her side. “Will you make me beg?”

After another pause, he shook his head, slowly lying down beside her. Their naked bodies pressed together, but he seemed determined to stay distant. Madison stroked his hip, leaning forward to kiss his chest. “Please forgive yourself, Tiernan. I have.”