A Reluctant Queen (5 page)

Esther’s heart felt as if it was thundering in her chest. It was unbelievable, but they were serious.

Mordecai went on, “I was furious when your mother ran away with a Persian noble, and I have always tried to ignore his very existence. But it is in my mind now, Esther, that God allowed that marriage for a reason.”

“What reason?” Esther asked, dreading the reply.

“You have the two things necessary to become queen. You have extraordinary beauty and you are an Achaemenid. Believe me, Esther, it is excruciatingly painful for me to ask this of you, but I have come to believe that God has a purpose for you. I believe that God has chosen you to be His instrument to save His people.”

Esther raised her voice. “This is all because of that mad dream, isn’t it? Well, I am not going to allow myself to become incarcerated in a Persian harem because you had a dream, Uncle Mordecai. I am not!”

Rachel’s father leaned toward her. “You have the right to refuse, certainly, but we have discussed this at length and we have prayed about it. I beg you to consider your decision, my dear.”

Esther stared at him. “Would you ask your daughter to do such a thing?”

He smiled a little. “Rachel has not the qualifications. You are the only one who does, Esther. That is why we are asking you.”

She shook her head. “You are wrong. They will never accept me if they know my mother was a Jew.”

The priest answered, “We understand that. Our plan is to keep your Jewish blood secret. We will say that your mother was a Babylonian. That will not hinder you from being a candidate.”

By now anger had completely washed away Esther’s fear. “No one is to know that I am a Jew? That is your plan?”

“That is right.”

“Suppose we imagine that the unlikely happens and the king actually chooses me to be his wife. How am I supposed to represent Jewish issues to him if he doesn’t know I am a Jew? Or am I supposed to reveal myself on my wedding night? I hardly think such a revelation will so endear me to my husband that he will listen to my advice. In fact, he will probably put me away even faster than he got rid of Vashti.”

“I told you she was smart,” Mordecai murmured, a flicker of life in his shadowed eyes.

The priest held her angry eyes with his grave ones. “You cannot tell anyone, Esther, not even the king. I will give you permission to ignore Mosaic Law and follow Persian ways. Remember, Moses lived as an Egyptian until the time came for him to answer God’s call. So will it be with you.”

“I am no Moses!” Esther cried.

“Perhaps not,” Shimeon agreed. “But you may be called by God in a different way.” He leaned forward, bringing their faces closer. “Listen, my child. God gave you the gift of great beauty. Extraordinary beauty. It was given to you for a purpose, Esther, and we believe that this mission we have asked you to undertake is what that purpose is.

“Will you at least think about it?” Shimeon concluded, extending a pleading hand in her direction.

All Esther wanted to do was to get away from here. “I will think about it.” She turned to her uncle. “Right now I just want to go home.”

“Of course I will take you home, chicken,” he said, standing as well.

Don’t call me chicken!
Esther longed to shout those words at him. How could he have done this to her? How could he have put her in such a position? She had thought he loved her, but he had betrayed her. This was all his idea. She knew that, even though no one had said it. This idea belonged to Uncle Mordecai.

Ignoring all protocol, Esther stood, turned her back on the men, and walked to the door.

Esther felt as if an earthquake had hit her. She did her household chores, fixed her uncle’s food, answered his attempts at conversation with short sentences, and all the time her brain was in a whirl of anger, outrage, and fear.

Uncle Mordecai had betrayed her. He, who had told her she could wait before she decided to marry a man of her own people, a man who cared about her, was ready to sacrifice her to the horrors of a Persian harem. He actually wanted her to be chosen queen. To sleep with an uncircumcised pagan, a man who had no respect for women and would most certainly have no respect for her.

It was impossible. They were asking too much. She would not do it. She could not do it.

She was sitting by herself in the courtyard on the second night of sleeplessness, watching the first light of dawn brighten the sky, when she began to think of what it would mean to refuse to do her uncle’s bidding. Tiredness swept over her like a heavy cloak. She had never felt so weary in all her young life. Could she bear to continue to live her ordinary life, knowing that she had failed to answer the call of her community in their time of need?

Her eyes fixed on the sky, just where the light was starting to peek over the horizon.
Father in Heaven
, she prayed.
What am I to do? Shimeon our priest is a very holy man, and he wants me to do it. Uncle Mordecai is a very holy man and a brilliant man as well. Would he have asked me to do this if he did not think it was Your will?

Slowly the sky began to lighten and a thought for escape began to form in Esther’s mind. If God was looking for a savior for His people, He would not look to a simple Jewish maiden. He would surely have someone else in mind. However, the men had become so enamored of their idea that they would not even try to search for the true savior if they continued to think that she was the one.

Their idea of getting her into the harem would never work. Esther had her mother’s polished bronze hand mirror, so she knew what she looked like. She knew she was pretty. To be honest, she was probably the prettiest girl in their small community. But the Persian women who would be presented as candidates to the king would be soft and lovely, with skin like ivory and eyes like does. Their hair would be curled and they would smell like exotic spices. They would know all the protocols of courtly behavior and would fit into their place as smoothly as rare silk from Damascus.

They would not have a heavy mass of black hair that was straight as rain and impossible to curl. They would not have skin still browned from the summer sun and hands rough from outdoor work. They would not have muscles in their shoulders and arms from carrying heavy buckets of water. They would all be far more beautiful and presentable than she.

She would never be accepted into the harem—the Head Eunuch would take one look at her and send her straight home. Esther smiled as the idea grew in her mind. This was a way she could make everyone happy. She would tell the men that she agreed to the scheme and she would tell Uncle Mordecai to present her as a candidate for the contest. She doubted she would even make it in the door.

Her smile broadened into a grin. She would be returned to Mordecai, and her old life would go on as usual, and everyone would be grateful to her that at least she had tried. The sun was brilliant now in the eastern sky, and Esther rose to her feet and stretched her arms over her head, rising up on her toes as far as she could go. Maybe she would marry Abraham after all, but in her heart she was still angry with Uncle Mordecai for putting her in this position.

The sun rose even higher in the sky and soon Mordecai came out into the courtyard looking for her. She turned to him with downcast eyes and said softly, “I have been thinking about your request, Uncle Mordecai, and I have decided that I will obey your wishes and those of the synagogue council. I will seek to become a candidate for the king’s hand.”

Mordecai reached out and took her into his arms. “I am glad, Esther,” he said.

C
HAPTER
F
OUR

E
sther spent the three days she had left at home cleaning. She was determined that she would leave her uncle with a house that shone like a jewel. When Mordecai protested that her labor was unnecessary, she raised her voice to disagree and he let her alone. Once the house had been cleaned to her satisfaction, Esther set about getting a woman to come in to cook and clean for her uncle. Again Mordecai protested, and again he rebounded off the hard shell of Esther’s determination.

The hard work had kept Esther too busy to think much, which had been her plan. It seemed sudden when she discovered herself riding through the streets of Susa in a covered box on her way to an appointment with the powerful Head Eunuch of the king’s harem. Mordecai had made all the arrangements through Filius, the Deputy Treasurer, for whom he worked. As the synagogue council had planned, no one in the palace knew that she was Jewish. Their story was that Mordecai was introducing her as a favor to a friend.

The box was enclosed by a curtain, so Esther saw nothing until her uncle pushed it open and assisted her in descending. She glanced around at the cobblestone courtyard where she stood and then to the towering sinister bars that formed the Harem Gate. A tall, golden-skinned young man was standing beside Mordecai. Esther cast a quick glance upward and saw that his expression was haughty and that he had no beard.

He must be a eunuch. Esther had known that the Persians gelded the men who were to guard their women, but she had never seen such a creature before. He was speaking to her uncle in a slow, careful voice. “You are Mordecai, from the Treasury?”

“Yes. And this is Esther, the daughter of my friend; she has an appointment to see Hegai.”

“I am Hathach,” the eunuch replied. “I will take her to Hegai, then I will come to your office to let you know if she has been accepted or if you must come to collect her again.”

“Thank you,” Mordecai said, and turned to Esther. “I wish you good fortune, my dear.”

I can’t do this
. She stared over her veil at her uncle and she knew he must see her terror.
Please
, she begged him with her eyes.
Take me home. Don’t let me do this
.

But he was smiling at her, his face under perfect control.

“This way, lady,” the eunuch said, and took a step toward the Harem Gate. She had been told that no man was allowed to enter through that gate save the Great King. The thought struck her that this might be the last time she would ever see her uncle.

“Good-bye,” she whispered.

He didn’t reply, but for the first time his face looked old and drawn. She waited a moment, but he made no motion toward her. He was not going to take her home.

Esther stiffened her back.
So be it. They have all left me on my own and I will just have to take care of myself. This Hegai will never accept me into this horrible harem
.

However, despite her brave thoughts, she felt her stomach heave as she followed the tall eunuch through the Harem Gate. She repeated to herself the prayer she had been saying ever since she had agreed to this masquerade.
Father in Heaven, let me be rejected so my uncle will realize how impossible this plan of his really is. Let me be rejected so the way will be open for the true savior of our people to show himself
.

Just inside the gate was a ceramic-tiled waiting area. They passed through this into a large columned courtyard, with a lovely marble fountain. A number of beardless men sat on the stone benches that surrounded the fountain, laughing and talking among themselves. Esther peeked at them out of the side of her eyes as she followed her escort through the courtyard and into a garden. Next they arrived in another lovely open-air garden, where Esther had a glimpse of several unveiled women walking amid the autumn flowers.

The women all turned to look at her as she followed Hathach across the garden. “Are those some of the candidates?” she asked him.

“Yes.” Clearly Hathach was not inclined to talk.

They stopped at a large, carved wood door. Hathach’s knock was answered by a small boy with jet-black curls and large blue-green eyes. Esther looked at the beautiful child and was horrified to think that he may have already been gelded.

They stepped into a small reception room with the most magnificent rug Esther had ever seen. The little boy went into the next room and returned to announce, “The lady may enter. You are to return in an hour, Hathach, to hear what Hegai’s decision is.”

A strange calm descended upon Esther. She was here and soon it would be over. She glanced around the room, which was furnished with silk divans and elegant, low wine tables. The rug was even more magnificent than the one in the first room. Then another door opened and a man came in. He was tall and heavy, his nose slightly crooked, his lips full. His skin was not young, but it was beardless. He was dressed in a long embroidered robe made of fine wool dyed to a rich shade of blue and girdled around his ample middle by a soft leather belt.