A Right Brain Mind in a Left Brain World (8 page)

Now as Jenny wait’s for someone to come and answer the Convent door, she finds herself feeling a little bit anxious and her tummy is rumbling. This is always a sign Jenny knows that she is nervous, but she is here now and hopefully in a short while she will have some answers regarding her Mother. As the door to the Convent opens and Jenny smiles into the face she is sure has to be Sister Catherine.
‘Bonjour Soear Catherine.’

‘And welcome to you too Jenny,’ Sister Catherine spoke English fluently and flawlessly and Jenny is envious.

‘I hope you had a pleasant Journey here, have you had time to visit our Church.’

‘Yes to be honest, I have spend the last hour sitting in there, it is an amazing place you can feel your spirits lift almost the minute you walk in the door. Those stain glass windows are so beautiful, it is magnificent the way they give out that blue glow around the church, you feel you should tip toe so as not to disturb anyone.’ Jenny Smiled, hoping Sister Catherine wouldn’t think her mad.

‘I agree, it’s a place that people come to with their problems, and sometimes just sitting in the church seems to give them some sort of peace. Well I’ll just seat you in here and Mother Maria will be with you shortly.’

‘Thank you Sister Catherine,’ Jenny says after Sister Catherine has taken her into a small cosy sitting room, covered from wall to wall in books of all kinds.

‘Hello you must be Jenny. I’m very pleased to meet you I’m Mother Maria.’

Jenny noticed right off the Irish accent and wondered for a moment, but decided not to jump to conclusions. This lady or nun Jenny thinks is in her late sixties; somehow she hadn’t thought her mother would be that age. But then again you’d never know.

‘What I’m about to tell you is going to be difficult, and I alone have had to decide whether I should be the one to tell you this.’

Jenny wonders what she means’s by her decision; surely that is her Mothers place. But she didn’t interrupt.

‘First of all yes your mother was a young Irish girl with no family, her mother died two months after she was born, from TB, she had no siblings and was reared by her Father on a little farm in the Village of Kildimo, County Limerick, until he died when she was just fourteen. There were no other relatives that anyone knew of. So she was taken in by one of the village family’s and given a good home,’

Just then there is a slight knock on the door, and Sister Catherine appears with a tray laden down with pastries and tea and coffee, she just leaves them on the coffee table and leaves again without saying a word only a nod to Mother Maria.

‘Where was I, oh yes, at sixteen she decided to join a Convent, Mrs. O’Conner and Father Brown had spoke to her at length, to be sure this was what she wanted. The O’Conner family assured her that she was now part of their family and that she was going to be treated like the rest of their children. But she was adamant that she wanted to join the same Convent as had Mrs. O’Conner’s oldest daughter, she was with a French Order. And that is how Jane ended up here.’

It is the first time Jenny heard Mother Maria, mention a name and it hit her with force; her Mother’s name is Jane. But if Jane joined the convent, how did she become pregnant? Maybe she left again? There is so much running through Jenny’s mind she is not sure what to think.

‘I can see this is puzzling you Jenny, but I will explain, Jane came here just after her sixteenth birthday. and stayed here for two years, until she was eighteen; she then decided to do her last year before taking her final vows at the convent in Limerick. She would be near the O’Conner Family who after all had become her only family. She was at the Convent in Limerick for just over a month, and enjoyed baking and cooking anything related to the Kitchen really,’ Mother Maria smiled now, obviously remembering her.

‘Anyway they were to have a new priest join their parish and there was to be a welcome feast. Jane had decided to do a fish dish that she had learned from one of the French nuns here. She had asked the Mother for permission to go to the fish monger. They would normally have all their food stocks delivered but as there had been little time Mother agreed.

Jane left the Convent that morning and by lunch time she hadn’t returned and by three o’clock the Mother was frantic with worry.

Mother knew the O’Conner family well and cal ed them to see if Jane had arrived there or if they knew of her where a bout’s. But no one had heard from her, the Guardia from Street in Limerick where cal ed, but they felt she had probably run off. But Mother Majella insisted that Jane would not have run off. At six o’clock that evening the Sergeant of Henry Street Guardia Station, arrived to the Convent. They had found a young girl very badly beaten in a little alley off the dock road, her cloths where torn to shreds and her face was unrecognizable, the hospital didn’t know if she’d pull through.’

At this point Jenny is beginning to feel like she might be sick, and removes her outer sweater.

‘Are you sure you want me to go on,’ Mother Maria asks Jenny.

Jenny just nods her head and sips some warm tea; she knows she has to hear whatever Mother Maria knows.

‘The Sergeant took Mother Majella to the hospital at Dooradoyle. And in the mean time Mrs. O’Conner arrived too. It was Mother who identified Jane she was so badly beating her face was almost totally unrecognizable. The doctor who had admitted her arrived and told them that Jane had so many fractures to her body it was impossible to say how bad things were. But it was the damage to her head and brain that was the most serious, and he didn’t think she would survive or ever be the same girl she had been again.

He was right, Jane came out of a coma two weeks later but the brain damage was very evident. She didn’t respond to anything and was totally unaware of everything that went on around her. It was three months later that it was realized that Jane was actually pregnant, the doctors couldn’t say for sure if the pregnancy would run its course or if the baby won’t have some sort of damage too. But at thirty six weeks they took Jane to theatre and gave her an epidural and delivered a very fine healthy baby girl. It had already been decided that the baby would be put up for adoption.’

Jenny is sitting with tears flowing down her cheeks for everything her mother has gone through, she had been raped and almost beaten to death, and still somehow managed to have a healthy baby.

Mother Maria took out a small leather pouch and handed it to Jenny and quietly left the room. Jenny’s hands shook as she opens the strings of the pouch and takes out the contents from inside. Jenny finds a very small white gold ring like a wedding band, and some pictures that could almost have been of Jenny herself. There were pictures of Jane with a man and a sheep dog, Jenny thought this must have been Jane’s father. Then there was a Holy Communion picture and some pictures with a family, Jenny realizes this must be the O’Conner’s. As Jenny looks at it more closely she realizes there is a nun in the picture and the more she looks, she is sure it is actually Mother Maria.

Jenny sat for what seemed like an age before Mother Maria, came back into the room with an unsure smile.

‘Is this you?’ Jenny asks Mother Maria, as she hands over the picture Jenny is sure is the O’Conner family.

‘Yes Jenny that’s all my family with Jane just before she came here.’

Mother Maria and Jenny talked some more about Jane’s life, the things she liked, what she liked to read and how her love of languages had made it easy to settle into life here.

‘I’m sorry to tell you this but your mother was always destined to be a nun it was her life. She was one of the few who had the calling, she had handed herself over to Christ, fully.

‘So where is my mother buried.’ Jenny asks.

‘Jenny your mother isn’t buried.’

‘Well I’m sorry Mother but I didn’t think the Catholic Church approved of cremation.’

‘No Jenny I’m sorry what I should have said is your Mother is not dead, I’m sorry if I had you believe that.’

‘Well where is she then, is she here Jenny asks getting excited.’

‘No Jenny she is not, she never returned here again after she went back to Ireland at eighteen.’

‘Please tell me where she is?’ Jenny almost cried,’ she’s not still at the hospital is she?’

‘Jane is being cared for by our Convent in Limerick, they moved her there after they discharged her from the Hospital.’

‘You mean to tell me, all this time my mother has been nothing but a few miles away from me.’ Jenny can feel the emotion building up, she is trying not to cry, but the tears come anyway.

‘Yes Jenny love, but you must realize that Jane was never going to be your Mother. She still to this day can’t hold any attention. I go over once a year to visit, I wish it were more, but this convent is my responsibility, but every time I go she has no idea who I am.’

‘Will I be allowed see her,’ Jenny asked quietly.

‘Yes, but I need you to understand now Jenny, she will never be able to leave the Convent that’s her home, I have already contacted Mother George about the situation. She will be more than happy for you to visit anytime if that’s what you decide to do. I would urge you to think about it. This could be very emotionally upsetting for you; I just want you to be prepared and not get any false hopes.

Jenny leaves the Convent a few hours later not sure how she is feeling; she had planned to stay in France for the week. But all she wants to do now is get home, back to her parents.

So as soon she can, Jenny logs on to the internet in Madam. Franks’ little office and checks the ferry times. There is one leaving Cherbourg at midnight. So Jenny packs her few things while Madam. Franks organizes a packed lunch. An hour later Jenny is driving through the beautiful town of Vire and heading for the motorway. All the while thinking over what Mother Maria has told her, to think she has spent four years at the University in Limerick and her mother has been there all the while.

It takes Jenny another hour and a half to the ferry port, and an hour after that she boards. Jenny just makes for her cabin. She tries for hours to sleep; she just feels so restless, so she gets up and goes out on deck to have a walk and some fresh air, trying not to get too bogged down with all this new information, before heading back to bed.

Jenny must have drifted off eventually, because she woke to hear the captain announce they would be disembarking within the hour...

As Jenny arrives to their home off Kerry Head, she realizes her parents must have been watching out for her, because no sooner has she turned into the driveway when the front door opens and both her parents come running out. She has told them as much as she could on the phone last night, but right now she just feels over whelmed with emotion. Her mother makes her go straight to bed, when Jenny woke the next morning she could hear the rattle of cutlery coming up the stairs. Her Mother knocked and Jenny called to her now to come in.

‘Here you are love, a nice fry and the brown rolls you like, how are you feeling now?’

‘Not too bad, to be honest I don’t really know what I’m feeling, it’s just when I think of the life she has had compared to me I feel so guilty.’

‘Look Love beating yourself up over what happened to Jane isn’t going to help either you or her now is it? We have to be thankful that at least she is lucky enough to have had her family at the convent, whom I’m sure, have taken great care of her.’

‘I don’t think I could face it on my own, well not the first time anyway. Would you and dad come with me?’ Jenny asks her mother softly.

‘Of course Love we would be honoured if that’s what you want, she means just as much to us Jenny, because god love her without her we would never have been given you...’ Katie just hopes it won’t all be too much for Jenny, but at least if she and Ben are there with Jenny it might make it a little less daunting.