A Royal Engagement: The Young Royals Book 1 (26 page)

We rode in silence.
 
I couldn't even put into words what I was feeling.
 
Had I given Jordan signals that I had wanted that?
 
In my inexperience had I inadvertently led him on?

What he did was completely out of line and illegal if I wanted to argue semantics.
 
He had laid his hands on the royal person without permission or invitation, I could have him charged.
 
His attentions had been completely unsolicited and yet...I still felt responsible, like it was somehow my fault.

I hugged my arms close to my body, feeling chilled despite the heat of the afternoon.
 
All my self defence training had deserted me when I had needed it most and I was left feeling shocked, betrayed and violated.
 
I had let my guard down around him, had been lulled into a false sense of security because of our friendship and it had been to my detriment.

Any relationship we'd had, and feelings of friendship and affection had been wiped away by his callous act.
 
I couldn't trust Jordan, that had become abundantly clear, and it left me feeling so utterly alone.
 
I had thought he was the one person who had liked me for me, not for what I could do for him.
 
But he was just like all the rest, he only wanted me because he thought he could sleep with me.
 
All these months he had been whittling away my reticence, getting closer to me.
 
And it had all just been about sex.

I was an idiot.
 
A naive idiot.
 
I had so little life experience, was it any wonder that Parliament saw me as a joke?
 
How could I possibly lead this country if I couldn't even see through the apparent affection of a man who just wanted to get into my pants?

The cart came to a stop and I jumped out, not waiting for Carlos.
 
I strode into the palace and headed straight for my brother's office.
 
I needed to be surrounded by familiarity, by memories of the last person who I could trust implicitly.
 
I couldn't even trust my Ladies in Waiting, not completely.
 
They all had their own reasons for being here and I was pretty confident that if push came to shove, they would chose their own agendas over me.

I walked into the office and the first thing that hit me was the scent of my brother's aftershave.
 
It permeated the room and I was overwhelmed by the onslaught of memories.
 
I slumped down in his chair, pulling my feet up and wrapping my arms around my knees.
 
I dropped my head onto my arms and felt so completely abandoned.

I don't know how long I sat there, but when I finally raised my head, the room was dark and my cheeks were wet from crying.
 
I missed Jacob so very much and wished I could have one more conversation with him, one more afternoon to just spend with him, talking and joking and feeling secure and protected by him.
 
He had always made me feel that way and I suddenly realised that it was missing from my life.
 
Maybe if I'd recognised the hole in my heart I wouldn't have been so quick to fill it with Jordan.

I had latched on to Jordan because of his relationship with my brother.
 
The association had made him safe and I had tried to replace my brother with a cheap substitute.
 
But nobody could ever replace Jacob in my life.
 
I would forever have this gaping hole where he should be.
 
The challenge was to learn how to live with it, like an amputee learns to live without a limb.

With a sigh, I reached over the desk to flick on the lamp.
 
For the first time I noticed the disarray of the room.
 
When I had stumbled blindly in here, I hadn't taken notice of anything except the memories that assaulted me.
 
But now I took the time to look around.

I had spent a lot of time in here with Jordan whenever I was home.
 
Jordan's desk was always relatively tidy and I had expected it to look like he had just stepped away for a minute and would be back at any moment.
 
But that wasn't what was before me.
 
Papers were strewn across the dark mahogany of the desk, drawers where pulled out of the filing cabinet and his hard drive was missing.

"Carlos?" I called, "Are you there?"

The door opened and Carlos stepped into the room.
 
His eyes widened at the sight.

"Did you need me, Your Grace?" he asked.

"Has anyone else been in this room?
 
Has it been searched by the authorities or by our own security team?"

He shook his head, "No, Your Grace," he said.

"Then why the hell does it look like this?"
 
I jumped from the chair.

""You didn't do this?" he asked, taking a more intense look around the room.

I shook my head, "No," I said, "I was sitting in his chair, crying, I didn't notice anything until now."

Carlos clicked his cufflink mic and spoke into it softly.

I took in the complete disarray of the room and wondered how I had missed it when I first walked in here.
 
I picked up random bits of paper, reading their contents, trying to understand what had happened in here.

"I don't think you should touch anything," Carlos said, "Not until Benjamin and Von Bartham have had a chance to see it."

"Right," I said, setting down the piece of paper in my hand.
 
Why would someone do this?
 
What reason would they have for ransacking Jacob's office?

Benjamin strode into the room, closely followed by Von bartham and they both pulled up short.

"What happened in here?" Von Bartham exclaimed.

"I was hoping you could tell me," I said, "I found it like this."

Benjamin ran his hand through his hair and turned to Carlos, "Was Jacob working on anything of any importance that you know of?"

Carlos waited a beat and his eyes slid to me before he answered, "There was something he was looking into, but he wouldn't give us details.
 
Said he didn't want to tip anybody off."

They shared a look and I wanted to stamp my foot in frustration.
 
If they knew something, why wouldn't they tell me?

Benjamin stuck his head out of the door and spoke to someone on the other side.
 
Meredith stepped into the room and her eyes widened before she could school her reaction.

"Your Highness, why don't you go with Meredith.
 
She can take your statement as to what you found in here and I would also like you to debrief her about the incident this afternoon."

I rolled my eyes.
 
I hadn't really expected to get away without explaining what happened with Jordan was I?

"Fine," I said, crossing my hands over my chest and giving them my best royal look, "But I want a complete update about this in the morning."

"Yes, Your Highness," Benjamin replied and I swear he was trying to hide a smile.

Chapter Eighteen

We met in the conference room the next morning.
 
The mood was somber and no one would look me in the eye.
 
I knew that what I had told Meredith about Jordan wasn't in confidence, I knew that she would tell them what happened and I knew they would be disappointed in me.

But this morning wasn't about that.
 
This morning was about why Jacob's office had been ransacked.
 
His death and now this invasion of his personal space were not good omens.
 
If his death hadn't already been suspicious, then this would definitely make it so.

"Tell me what you know," I said, refusing to cower before them, refusing to let my naiveté become a reason for them to lose respect for me.

 
Benjamin blew out a harsh breath, "We know very little," he said, "Jacob's secretary assures us that nothing appears to be missing, but someone was definitely looking for something."

"Who and what?" I asked.

"I don't know," Benjamin replied, shooting a look at Carlos.

I looked between the two men.
 
There was something being said without words and I couldn't decipher it, but I very much wanted to.

"Look," I said, standing, "I know that my actions yesterday have shown me to be a silly girl."
 
They began to protest, but I held up a hand to stop them.
 
"But," I went on, "I don't intend to let it derail me.
 
I intend to be a good leader...to
learn
to be a good leader.
 
And for that to happen I need to have people around me that can be honest with me.
 
I don't need yes-men and I don't need to be molly coddled.
 
Please," I paused to look at Carlos and Benjamin, "Tell me what's going on."

Carlos grit his teeth, the muscle in his jaw jumping and he stared hard at Benjamin.
 
Benjamin returned his stare and then turned to me with a sigh.

"Jacob was having someone in the palace investigated," he said.

"Who?" I asked.

"They exchanged another look.

"We don't know.
 
He asked Sebastian to look into it."

"Sebastian?" I knew the name but couldn't place it.

"He was one of the body guards killed in the attack," Carlos said, resigned to telling me the whole story.
 
"Whoever it was that your brother was investigating, it was someone close to him.
 
He asked Sebastian to do it because he was relatively new and it would be less likely to tip off the target."

"He didn't confide in you?" I asked.

He shook his head.
 
"He told me he had suspicions about someone who had recently taken up a position in the palace but he didn't tell me who."

"So is it safe to say that whoever broke into Jacob's office knew they were being investigated and was looking for the documents that revealed his, or her, misdeeds?"

"That was our conclusion," Benjamin said.

"But we don't know if such documents even existed or whether or not our thief found them."

"Correct."

I exhaled harshly, frustrated at both my brother's subterfuge and that the intrepid thief may have just covered his tracks.

"There's something else we think you need to know," Meredith said placing a small box on the table.

I picked up the small red leather box and ran my fingers over the gold embossed design on the lid.
 
Cartier.
 
I flicked the lid and nestled amongst the red velvet was a platinum and diamond engagement ring.
 
I looked up at Carlos.

"Was my brother seeing someone?" I asked, surprised.

Carlos nodded, "Yes, Your Grace.
 
He was going to ask Lady Darkly for her hand."

I slumped back in my chair and gazed at the gorgeous ring that sparkled in the halogen lights of the room.
 
Jacob was going to ask Georgina to marry him.
 
I wonder if she knew?
 
She hadn't mentioned anything, and neither had Will.

"I take it this wasn't common knowledge," I said, not taking my eyes from the ring.

"No," Carlos said, "He was waiting for Lady Darkly to graduate."

"Did..." I cleared my throat that was suddenly thick with emotion, "Did Will know?" I whispered.

"I believe the Prince asked his permission to court her," Carlos said softly.

"Your brother was also working on something with Lord Darkly," Benjamin said, "A project of sorts."

"Oh?" I said, raising my eyes to him, "What project?"

Why had Will never mentioned any of this to her?
 
Had he thought she wouldn't honour any promises her brother had made?

"It's probably better if you look through the paperwork yourself," Benjamin said, "The Prince's secretary is waiting for you in his office if you have time now."

I stood, "Now is perfect," I said.
 

All of my appointments for this week had been cancelled so that my things could be moved to my father's wing.
 
The renovations on his rooms had been completed and the security team had been persistent in their urging to get me to move.
 
All of the palace's rooms had secrets, but my father's room's had been the best kept.
 
I knew that there was an escape tunnel from his bedroom to a small cottage on the edge of the property but there were other secrets that I had yet to be made aware of.
 
No doubt I would be fully briefed when I had been completely moved in.

"Let's go," I said, leading the way out the door and towards Jacob's office.

As we walked I turned to Meredith, "I need to speak with Georgina Darkly as soon as possible," I said.
 
Alex was busy coordinating the move, as were the rest of my Ladies in Waiting, and that left Meredith to fill in as my assistant.