A Santini's Heart (The Santinis Book 10) (3 page)

Usually, though, she formed a friendship with patients who had moved through the program. Not with Carlos. She had a friendship, but there was always something more there, something that kept them growling at each other all the time. For her, it was the attraction. From the moment she had met him, she had this thing for him. And he wasn’t even her type. She usually went for sweet, funny men, much like his twin Brando. Carlos…well, he rubbed her the wrong way. Of course, that one thought had her thinking about all kinds of other rubbing.

She closed her eyes and tried to push him out of her mind. Adrian would be embarrassed by her thoughts. Hell, she was. She didn’t want to think what her brother would have thought of them.

Before she could get into the shower, her phone buzzed. When she saw the caller ID, she made a face. She loved her parents, but they tended to wallow on this date, especially her mother. She had no choice, so she answered.

“Hey, Mom.”

“Tia, sweetie, how’re you doing today?”

“Okay. It was a long day, but I’ve been promised red meat.” She paused and waited for her mother to talk. When she didn’t say anything, Tia went on. “How are you doing today?”

“Fine. Both of us have been fine.”

Her parents had been born and raised in Arizona, but her father had a lot of family in Mexico and South America. His business had been pulling them down there more and more, so her parents had relocated. They had tried to talk her into it too, but she would never leave this place. Arizona was her home.

“I don’t know why you couldn’t come down here.”

She loved her mother, but she knew how to lay the guilt on. “I told you. Carlos had to be out of town for a wedding; although, he did come back yesterday because of…the anniversary.”

She hated calling it that, but that is exactly what it was. Something so evil and horrible should never be associated with something good like an anniversary.

“Good. I’m glad you’re not alone. I’m sorry we won’t be there for the benefit.”

Damn, she forgot about that. Thanks to Marcella Santini, they were having a benefit to help the ranch. The running of the ranch was covered, but they wanted to create scholarships for people who couldn’t afford extensive equine therapy. It wasn’t cheap, and it wasn’t covered by insurance.

“It’s no problem, Mom. I wish you could make it, but I understand.”

She really didn’t, but it was best not to bring that up. There was no way to win a fight with Rachel Mendoza. She had been raised in a large Irish-American family, the oldest of six, and had always known how to win an argument. And besides, Tia was too tired today.

“Well, I guess I should let you go eat. I just wanted to check on you.”

“Okay. Love you, Mom.”

“Love you, Tia Marie.”

She clicked her phone off and closed her eyes. It took her a few moments before she felt steady enough to face the world again. She opened her eyes and saw the shimmer of tears. She blinked, forcing herself not to think about Adrian right at that moment. The need to just let the tears fall almost overwhelmed her. Every muscle in her body seemed to be screaming. She’d been up for over twelve hours, and most of it had been filled with hard work. Add in the depression that hit her today, and she was definitely in need of a good hard cry.

She could not fall apart. Not right now. That was for the bathtub, wine, and cake time she had scheduled later. She had only cried in front of Carlos once, and she would not do it again. She grabbed her clothes out of the guest room, then walked to the bathroom. After stripping out of her clothes, Tia started the shower and stepped under the hot water.

Her sore muscles screamed at first, but then they relaxed under the soothing heat. Grabbing the bar of soap and a washrag, she lathered it up. The musky, masculine scent filled the air around her. Oh, damn, it was his soap. The one she smelled on him day in and day out. And now she would smell of it—like him. It was bad enough she’d been having a lot of dreams about him lately. This was not going to help.

Knowing that a steak was waiting for her, she tried to pretend that the scent didn’t bother her at all. She would just think about it later. When she was in her bed alone.

She really did need some help.

C
arlos turned the steaks over
, then took another quick sip of his longneck. The day had started off cool, but it had certainly warmed up fast. Still, he would take the dry heat of Arizona over humidity any day of the week. How his brother and their cousin handled Hawaii all the time was beyond him, but he assumed since they married local women, they planned on staying there. Santinis believed in family, and that went hand and hand with
ohana
—the Hawaiian word for family. Anthony’s wife had a dance studio in Honolulu, and Marco’s wife handled a charity aimed at Hawaiians. So more than likely, they were staying put. At least, there would always be a place for him to crash if he wanted to hop over.

After checking the steaks, he knew they were done. Tia didn’t like a well done steak, and he didn’t want to get on her bad side. He chuckled. Yeah, he was a big bad Marine. Worried about cooking her steak just right.

Carlos turned off the grill and went inside to grab some plates. He piled on the sides, then headed back outside. He was setting the two plates on the table just as Tia stepped out on the patio.

He studied her a long moment and liked what he saw. When he had seen her walking from the barn, she had looked so defeated. The dark circles were still under her eyes, but her face was no longer pale, and she didn’t look ready to pass out.

“Well, aren’t you punctual,” she said, as she approached the table. “That is one thing I like about military men.”

He grabbed another beer and handed it to her. “Complain and I’ll take it away.”

“Thanks for the beer, but I will cut you if you come between me and my food.”

He chuckled. The woman had a warped sense of humor, but then, most Santinis did too.

After twisting off the top of her beer, she took a long drink and swallowed. The sigh of appreciation that followed sent little sparks over his nerve endings. It wasn’t the least bit sexual, but it didn't mean his body wasn’t listening. Heat flared low in his belly as he tried to remember they were partners. He was the controlling partner and she technically worked for him. So it was wrong to think about hearing her sigh like that as he kissed down her neck—

“How is it that you have never married, Santini?” she asked, interrupting his wayward thoughts.

He cleared his throat and tried to get his head screwed back on straight. “What do you mean?”

“A cold beer, a steak that from the looks of it is cooked perfectly…I’m surprised some little woman hasn’t snapped you up.”

She was smiling at him, and he couldn’t help but respond in kind. The darkness that seemed to have clung to her the last few hours of the workday seemed to have evaporated. And truth was, he always loved to see her smile a real smile—one that showed off her cute dimples.

“Someone has to keep the dream alive. They’re dropping like flies in my family.”

“True. What is it, four married in just the last year?”

He nodded and took a long pull of his own beer. “I never thought Anthony would marry.”

She blinked. “Like ever?”

“He’s not that good with people all the time, and he’s got kind of a grumpy personality.”

She snorted. “Pot…kettle.”

He frowned. “I am not grumpy.”

“Yeah, you are. Sometimes. And remember, I was your trainer. You were not the most pleasant person to be around a few years ago.”

He shrugged. “Well, I’m not grumpy anymore.”

She said nothing as she cut into her steak.

“Tia.”

“What?”

“I’m not grumpy anymore.”

She glanced up at him, then back down to her plate—but not before he could see the amusement in her eyes.

“Dammit, Tia, I am not grumpy.”

She snorted again, then took a bite of her steak. “Oh, lord have mercy. You do know how to grill a steak.”

“Don’t try and change the subject.”

Tia finished chewing and swallowed before she answered. “First, I’m not about to tell the man who just cooked me this fantastic steak that he’s grumpy. Especially not after he threatened to take it away. Second, shouting you aren’t grumpy sort of defeats your argument.”

Good lord, he was being an idiot. He was actually trying to make a woman say he wasn’t grumpy by yelling at her. And why did he worry that Tia thought he was grumpy? Sure, he was attracted to her, but he knew nothing would happen. In fact, it would be best if she thought he was grumpy and stayed away.

“Okay, you have a point.”

“Plus, you have jet lag.”

He nodded. “Yeah. Coming back this way is always worse, and Anthony warned me. But, I wanted to be home today.”

Her expression softened. “I appreciate it, but you don’t have to take care of me, Santini. I’m a big girl. Still, it’s good to be with someone who knew him.”

They ate, taking their time to talk about the memories of her brother, the pranks he pulled at the ranch, and the way he had made her life hell growing up. They didn’t have a lot in common past the ranch, other than their love of her brother. Carlos knew that without Adrian, he wouldn’t have made it through the program.

“He loved you like a brother.”

He looked at her to see if she was screwing with him.

“No, I’m not lying,” she said, voicing his inner thoughts. “It had always been just the two of us, and well, I was a good substitute for a brother. But he thought of you as his brother. I know that.”

“What do you mean you were a good substitute?”

She shrugged. “I liked to do things that not every girl likes to do. I fish, I hunt, and I ride horses. It isn’t that uncommon here, but I guess I was a little more gung ho about it than other girls.”

“You sound like Elena. She was always right there in the thick of things with us.”

“She had to keep up with you Santini boys. Otherwise, you would have run right over her.”

He smiled. “That’s true.”

She said nothing for a long moment, and the air around them seemed to still. There was a hitch in her breath, before she looked back down at her empty plate.

“Well, that was the best meal I’ve had in a long while.”

“You should eat better.”

She made a face. “I eat well enough, but the heat has gotten to me lately. I don’t like to eat or cook in this heat.”

“You don’t like to cook any day.”

She shrugged and looked out at the landscape. Tia had always been so self-contained, alone. The only person she had seemed to be connected to was Adrian. When he had died, Carlos knew her parents had been worried about her. She had closed in on herself for several months. They’d hired people to take care of the ranch because Tia hadn’t been able to come out there to work. After a long discussion with her parents and his, he had proposed to buy out part of the ranch. Then, he had bullied her to come back to work.

“I love Arizona. Always have. It is in my soul to be here. The desert…it pulls at something in me. Adrian came back here because I was here.”

He heard it in her voice, the guilt. He knew only too well what that could do to a person. From the moment the IED had been set off several years ago, he had lived with survivor’s guilt. It had left him angry and sad and just a little bit self-destructive.

“He came back to be with you. He could have cared less where you were. You were his family.”

She looked at him and smiled. It wasn’t the kind of smile that had anything to do with happiness. It didn’t reach her eyes. All he saw there was sadness and loneliness. She missed her brother, and he felt like an ass because he wanted to fix it for her, but there was no bringing Adrian back.

After a long moment, she finally spoke. “Don’t start being nice to me, Santini. Our relationship is built on nastiness and snarky comments. If it changes, I won’t know what to do.”

He chuckled, but he didn’t say anything. They sat in companionable silence for a few moments.

“I guess I should offer to clean up,” she said. He opened his mouth to tell her not to worry, but she didn’t wait. “But, I worked hard and I need some sleep.”

He laughed. “You do need to bring your plate in, and I’ll call that even, considering all the work you did today.”

She nodded and stood, then picked up her plate. He followed her in, trying his best to ignore the swing of her hips. The woman was going to be the death of him. Anthony had been right about one thing. He needed a woman.

He pushed those thoughts aside and followed her down the hall to the kitchen. She set her plate on the counter, then tossed her beer bottle in the trash.

“Thanks for dinner, Santini.”

He nodded. “No problem.”

Then, they just stood there. The easy silences during dinner were nowhere to be found. They stared at each other as the air thickened around them once again. He felt it, that sensual vibration. It hummed between them. Her eyes darkened and she flushed. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but that seemed to nudge her into action.

“Well, I better get home.” Did he imagine her voice was deeper? “Early morning. Thanks again for dinner.”

She grabbed her bag and headed out the door before he could even respond. If he had blinked, he would have missed her. Shaking his head, he got to work on the dishes. She had been acting strangely the last few months, but he hadn’t thought she was attracted to him. Or, had it just been a strange day?

Depression could always make people do things they wouldn’t normally do. She wasn’t depressed on a regular basis, but this had been a hard day for Tia. He had five siblings, and he didn’t know what he would do if he lost one. To lose the only sibling…well, that had to be hard.

There had been times, though, that he had thought she might be attracted to him. With just a look, he would forget his own name for a minute or two. Carlos had chalked it up to wishful thinking. Add in the business aspect of their relationship, and it caused all kinds of problems for both of them.

He shook his head and started to rinse off their dinner dishes to load them into the dishwasher. Carlos wasn’t sure what it all meant, but it definitely gave him more to think about.

* * *

T
ia woke
the next morning at the buzz of her alarm. It sounded as if an explosion had been detonated in her head. She slammed her hand down on her alarm clock, then rolled over onto her back. Her head pounded and her mouth was dry. It was her own fault. She should have known not to hang around the ranch the night before. He had been too hard to resist. The whole package was. A beer, some good food, and a good looking man. A grumpy man, but attractive nonetheless.

She shouldn’t have lingered there, talking about Adrian. Part of it was good for her. Other than her parents, no one loved Adrian as much as she did, except Carlos. The short time they had been friends had forged a connection she knew would have lasted decades. So she had stayed and talked. Then there had been that moment in the kitchen. No more late-night meals with beer and laughter for her. She needed to keep her eyes on the prize and her hands off the grumpy man.

By the time she had gotten home, she had been ready to collapse, and worse, there had been messages on her phone she had ignored. All well-meaning, but she didn’t need people to sympathize with her. She had ignored all the messages. It was a dick kind of move, but she had learned not to allow that to bother her. Her grief was personal. The fact that she felt comfortable letting Carlos see her pain, or at least share in it, should bother her. Except, it didn’t. Their mutual love for her brother was the one thing that kept her from punching him.

She sat up, stretching her arms over her head. Damn, she ached. She knew yesterday she had worked hard on the stalls and her lessons with clients because she had been trying to keep her mind off of her brother. Then, dinner had seemed like a good idea, and it went well…until that long moment in the kitchen. It was those times that made her want to run away and hide, and Tia was not a woman who ran away from a challenge. But, he had those sleepy bedroom kind of eyes that made her want to sigh every time he looked at her.

She shook her head and slipped out of bed. She didn’t need to be thinking about Santini or those gorgeous eyes of his. He was a sexy man and, while she ran the ranch with him, he was essentially her boss. Add into the fact that he acted like he was still in the Marines, it made him off limits. She didn’t like anyone telling her what to do and, sometimes, Carlos couldn’t help himself. She needed to put their relationship back to normal today. Erecting the wall between the two of them was the only way she would keep from making big mistakes.

After a quick trip to the bathroom, she dressed, and went to the kitchen for her coffee. She thanked the good Lord for timers on coffeepots. It was the only thing that saved her. It was still dark outside, but she had work to do. After filling her travel mug with coffee, she stepped out onto her porch, locked her door, then turned to find her truck with a flat.

“Dammit,” she muttered to no one in particular. With a sigh, she unlocked her front door, set her coffee just inside the door on a table, then she went to work on her truck. She was just happy that she had a regular size spare.