A Season for Family (10 page)

O
n the trip back to the shelter, Heath was glad to be at the wheel of his big Jeep again. Biddle's idea to drive it over and “loan” it for the day had been a good one. The last thing Heath wanted was to spend hours climbing in and out of Olivia's freezing old truck. Even with the vintage heater cranked up high, you could still see your breath inside the cab.

In the passenger seat beside him, Olivia sneezed. It was a girly sound that turned his reserve to mush and set him to worrying. She'd managed to dodge the flu bullet and didn't need to be flirting with an earache or a head cold.

“God bless you.” Heath meant it with all his heart.

She was snuggled deep into her coat with both arms folded close across her chest. She sneezed again. He pointed to the box of tissues he always kept in the console, a habit he'd picked up from his mom. He was giving her more credit every day for the good sense in his life.

“You warm enough? Don't sit in a heap over there shivering in silence.”

“I'm not.” Her body language shifted. She grabbed
a tissue, dabbed at her nose and then relaxed her hands into her lap.

“I guess I was physically hugging the day to myself.”

“In a good way?”

“In a very good way,” she assured him.

“I'm glad you aren't mad at me about the gallery thing.”

“How could I be mad? Heath, nobody's ever cared enough to go to bat for me as you just did. I mean, I had an advisor in college who helped me through all the red tape of applying for grants and loans because she knew I was on my own, but that was her job. You took it upon yourself to help me get this opportunity and now I'm even deeper in your debt.”

He dismissed her gratitude with a shrug and then adjusted the thermostat.

“I'm just payin' it forward.” Another half truth, a lie by any other name. Yes, he needed to start giving back the kindness he'd been shown, but mostly he wanted to make up for some of the lack in Olivia's life. Lack she didn't even recognize because her glass was always half-full.

She'd made the most of a terrible situation while he'd been complaining about the best adoptive parents a kid could hope for. What must his sisters have experienced going from one foster home to the next when he'd been with a family who wanted him? He'd been an ungrateful jerk and that's all there was to it. He had fences to mend, sins to repent for, bridges to build, and he was ready to get started.

“Being at your place with people who are in serious need has been an eye-opener,” he confessed to Olivia. “For all my griping, I've had it pretty easy. If I have even
one compassionate bone in my body I hope it's not so brittle that it can't be rehabilitated.”

“Well, I'm grateful that God's not only let me witness your change of heart, He's put me on the receiving end of your payback efforts.”

Heath held his palm outward, shielding himself from the praise. “Olivia, trust me when I tell you that I don't deserve your kind words. It was time for me to wake up and smell the coffee cake. This is a season for family and I need to make amends with my parents. I'm ashamed to admit that I don't even know what they have planned for Thanksgiving. I have to give them a call.”

She nodded but didn't speak for a long while, looking out the window at the passing cars. He saw her swipe the back of her hand at her face where something bothered her cheek. That
something
left a trail that gleamed when the sun glinted through the windshield.

Oh, man! I just had to go running off at the mouth about kinfolk when the people at Table of Hope are the only family Olivia's got and they're all sick. How am I going to fade out of the picture this time without looking back?

 

“Are you sure about this?”

Biddle nodded, agreeing that the plan they'd worked out while Heath was away would be the best way to go.

Heath looked from Biddle to Amos and back again. The three of them sat around a card table in the big room while Peggy was upstairs with Olivia giving a female opinion on her paintings.

“Amos is on board and I can't see dragging this out any longer.” Biddle's mind seemed made up.

Heath looked to Amos for confirmation.

“I'll bet you're thinking I'm nothin' but a broken down old man. But I've had my proud moments. I'd like to believe I still have a few left in me.”

“Amos, if you're thinking of sacrificing yourself for Olivia, don't go there. I'll find a way to protect her.”

“You know there's nothin' I wouldn't do for Miss Livvy, but this is bigger than her reputation or even the good work that goes on here at Table of Hope. I was a beat cop for over twenty years. I left because I was sick of ringing doorbells at night to notify mamas and daddies that their kids were DOA at the hospital thanks to recreational drugs. Some party, huh?”

Amos closed his eyes for a few long seconds, like the memories were too harsh to face. Heath considered how his law enforcement path compared to Amos's. Amos left because his heart wouldn't harden, then never found another place where he belonged. By contrast Heath's ticker was so calloused over that he'd lost what little empathy he might have had at one time. He just didn't see any fulfillment in sticking with police work. Worse still, he suspected he might eventually feel the same way sitting behind a desk in Silicon Valley. Would it be different if he let God direct his steps instead of leaning on his own pitiful understanding?

“Heath.” Biddle broke the silence. “If we get the sick folks out of here pretty quick, the shelter can be back in business that much sooner. The three of us working together can break this case in the next seventy-two hours. With more freezing weather on the way, our importers will be anxious to settle up and head for a warmer climate.”

“But when word gets out that a WPD detective and his wife are volunteering here, that'll drive the action away.” Heath challenged the logic.

“Exactly. Then we can finish this somewhere else and keep Table of Hope in the clear,” Biddle explained.

“Makes sense,” Heath agreed, then turned to Amos. “I'm glad you're on board with this. I thought about talking to you myself after Olivia told me you'd been a cop, but first I called Biddle in to check you out and make sure you weren't dirty. I hope you'll forgive me if that offends you.”

Heath felt Biddle staring, knew the expression on his friend's face. It would be the same gaping look he'd given Heath the last time he'd said something remotely sensitive. That apology just now probably had Biddle's eyes bulging, but Heath wasn't gonna turn his head to find out.

Amos scratched at the stubble on his face. “No hard feelings. Any cop with good sense would do the same thing.”

“You got any idea who our inside guy could be?” Heath changed the subject.

“Actually, I have suspicions about a lot of the characters who come around here. But there is somebody in particular I keep my eye on.”

Feminine chatter grew. The men exchanged glances and clammed up.

“In here, Miss Livvy,” Amos called. His voice was stronger, and Heath noticed that the fits of coughing seemed less intense.

Olivia stepped through the doorway and her gaze locked briefly with Heath's. His insides shuddered. Even being apart for a short while made him anxious to see her.

Not worried anxious, hardly able to think anxious.

His mind ping-ponged on this new sensation, not at all convinced it was a good thing. Did matters of
the heart pass as quickly as they struck? Or could this intensity possibly hang on, become constant?

Heath still remembered
the talk
during the summer he was fifteen. His dad confided that he fell in love with Heath's mama when they were in a college study group together. He claimed that after only a few weeks the longing in his heart was downright painful, made it impossible to function apart from her. He'd said, “That's how I knew she was the girl I'd waited for, the only one I'd ever want to share my life with.” And today, even after thirty-seven years of marriage, Heath's parents couldn't bring themselves to spend a night apart.

He'd always thought their story was a bunch of baloney. But not anymore. Not since he'd experienced that same painful longing for himself.

I don't have any business being in love, Lord! Why me and why now?

Heath figured he'd find a nice woman one day, but never dreamed it would overpower him, and out of the blue like this. He wasn't ready. There had to be a way to distance himself from this feeling. It was too… Too everything!

Work was what he needed. He'd get his head back in the game and his heart would follow.

Wouldn't it?

“That's wonderful news!” Olivia shouted over Heath's thoughts. She was smiling, hugging the Biddles. They must have told her the only part of the plan that she could hear. In a couple more days they'd be able to reopen the shelter if all went well. She radiated with happiness. At the thought of serving others the woman was even more beautiful.

His heart was hosed.

“You do understand we have to relocate our sick folks till they're better.”

“How is that going to happen?” Olivia asked Biddle.

Peggy answered for her husband. “When the mayor heard how you were struggling to take care of a staff with flu and still keep homeless people out of this dangerous weather, he stepped in to get you some relief. Waco General is going to double up in private rooms until the epidemic is over. And the best part is they're going to start by taking in the cases you've been caring for so Table of Hope can get back to the business of being a shelter.”

Olivia's mouth formed a silent and beautiful “O” as she stood with both hands clasped over her tender heart.

“Detective Biddle, are you the man I have to thank for carrying that message to City Hall?”

Biddle shrugged off the praise with a shake of his head. “I just mentioned it to the chief when I phoned to tell him I'd be taking a few days off to help out here. He took it from there.”

Her eyes filled up and fat tears dribbled over Olivia's dark lashes. Heath glanced at Amos to the right and Biddle to the left. If he hadn't been trapped between the devil and the deep blue sea, Heath would wrap her in his arms and hold her heart next to his until the waterworks dried up.

Fortunately, Peggy stepped in. She flung a motherly arm around Olivia's waist and they leaned close.

“Let's get started, Miss Livvy.” Amos, bless his heart, spoke up and broke the weepy spell. “The bus will be here before we know it. I need to talk to Bruce and
Nick about this and you have to get the ladies ready.” He shuffled toward the hall.

“Are you going to the hospital with the others, Amos?” Worry resonated in Olivia's question.

“Not on your life. I'm sticking around here if you'll let me. I'm well enough to manage the laundry while we get the place cleaned up. Maybe Emeril over there can help out in the kitchen.” Amos smirked and jerked his chin at Heath.

“Thanks for the nomination, but we all know I'm better with a plunger than a potato masher. Let's find another sucker for KP.”

“If you need kitchen help, I'm the woman for the job.” Peggy laughed as she volunteered.

“I look a little silly in pink rubber gloves, but my wife's taught me to do a fair job of scrubbing pots and pans.” Biddle offered his services.

“You two don't mind staying on?” Olivia looked like the tears might flow again.

“Honey, it's no hardship for either of us.” Peggy comforted Olivia with another hug. “We're blessed to be a blessing, so let us do what we can.”

Heath stole a look at Biddle. The admiration in his eyes as he studied his wife was undeniable. Was it worth all the effort they gave to their marriage to have such a connection?

Was it truly worth risking everything to love like that?

F
or the first time in days, Olivia breathed a sigh of relief. Her friends would be in good hands at Waco General and she could start getting things at the shelter back to normal. She tucked sheets and smoothed blankets over the freshly sanitized beds in the women's dorm and pondered what
back to normal
meant now that a man had flipped her world on its ear.

How was it that her outlook could change so much in such a short time? She'd been content for years to take each day's trouble as it arrived, knowing there would always be plenty of problems. And now she was dreaming about possibilities for the future, definitely expecting good things to happen.

It was all because of Heath.

An uncomfortable thought struck, slowing Olivia's hands from their efforts. She'd been pointing out his negative way of thinking and all that time she hadn't really expected new blessings for herself! Oh, she had a positive attitude and perspective on life, but that was easy when you didn't set yourself up to be disappointed by people who had so little to give.

Heath had a rough way of looking at the world and
maybe he was more right than she knew. But his toughness had turned out to be no deeper than his skin, and she loved that about him.

She loved everything about Heath Stone. But what was she supposed to do with that knowledge?

Pray!

Father, forgive me that I haven't been on my knees about this already. You alone have seen me through all the valleys in my life. How could I expect to be on a mountaintop and not share it with You? Thank You for bringing Heath into my comfortable little world to shake things up in a way I'd never have been brave enough to do on my own. Show me how to affect him in the same way, Lord. Give me the opportunity and the words to tell him how I feel in what little time we have left together.

“You seem to like him a lot. Does he know?”

Olivia's head snapped up, wondering if she'd uttered her silent prayer aloud. “Excuse me?”

Peggy was on her knees, making up a nearby lower bunk. An indulgent smile made her face glow younger than her sixty-some-odd years. “I asked if you've told Heath how much you care about him.”

Olivia ran her hand across the mattress, chasing wrinkles to buy time. She needed advice and with Velma gone there was no one to share girl talk. That was probably fortunate, since Peggy's guidance in the romance department would be more reliable than anything Velma might contribute on the subject.

“I understand if you don't want to answer my nosy question. It's none of my business anyway,” Peggy apologized.

Olivia tucked one foot beneath her and dropped into a
cross-legged position on a braided rug beside the bunk. She reached toward a basket of towels waiting to be folded.

“I don't mind your asking. In fact, I could use some guidance.”

Peggy moved closer to help with the laundry.

“So, you really are smitten with him, huh?”

Olivia nodded, still afraid to confess her heart out loud. “It's probably one-sided, but we did share a kiss the other night.” It was too embarrassing to admit she'd initiated the intimacy. “Nothing's happened since.”

“He seems like such a nice guy. Has he told you much about himself?” Peggy's soft voice was encouraging. “Indirectly.”

Peggy's brows tipped together and she cocked her head to one side. “How's that?”

“Heath's made some comments about being adopted as a small child but never really feeling connected to his parents. I think that's also the story of his religious experience.”

“That he was adopted into it but never chose to be part of it?”

Olivia nodded. “Exactly. But in the past few days, I've seen him pick up the loose thread and start to weave God's presence into his thinking.”

“I shouldn't be repeating what Bill's told me,” she confided. “But my husband is a strong judge of character and he thinks Heath has more potential than what he's lived up to so far.”

“Oh, you mean the Intranet prank that landed him here for community service.” Olivia presumed. “He's so intense that I can't even imagine Heath wasting time doing something like that. It's out of character for the man I've gotten to know.” She shrugged and reached for
another towel. “But guys will do lots of stupid things on a dare.”

“Tell me about it. In '79 Bill had to shave his head when the Cowboys lost the Super Bowl. I think my husband is the most handsome man on earth, but for those few weeks that he was bald I felt like I was married to a Conehead.” Peggy laughed, a contagious sound that made Olivia join in until the fit of giggles ran its silly course.

“So, what are you going to do about Heath?” Peggy swiped at the tears of laughter that leaked down her face.

“That's where I need guidance. This place is my life.” Olivia glanced around the women's quarters. “He has a home and a career in Austin. What's the point in telling him I care when he'll be gone the minute I sign his community service papers?”

“He doesn't live that far away.”

“I'm not looking for a long-distance romance no matter what the mileage is, and I work 24/7 so my weekends aren't even available.”

Peggy shrugged, both shoulders rising momentarily to meet her ears. “Given all that, I don't see where my advice would make a difference. Sounds like you've made up your mind already.”

“Yeah.” Olivia's agreement was like a weight on her chest. “I guess I have. And now with the possibility that I could show and sell some of my canvases, I really won't have two minutes to rub together.”

“Then I'd say you should just take things as they come and trust God to work out His plans for both of you. Enjoy whatever time you have with Heath and if the moment seems right to share your heart, do it. No matter what the outcome is, don't be sorry for it.”

Olivia nodded agreement. “Thank you, Peggy. I already have more ‘what ifs' than the law allows. I don't need another one dragging me down.”

“Woulda-shoulda-coulda's are dead weight, aren't they? I'll always regret that my daddy never said he loved our mother in front of us kids. We knew he did, of course, but he was from an era where real men didn't talk about emotional things. If I had it to do over, I'd press him to tell me how he felt about Mama so I'd have those words to treasure now that they're both gone.”

Olivia understood only too well. There was precious little left of her past and she was busy with the present. All by herself. Thanks to Heath there was new promise for her future. If possibilities were all she had to remind her of Heath after he went home, then he'd given her a wonderful treasure indeed.

 

“Wanna take a ride, get some ice cream or a doughnut?” Heath waited nervously in the doorway to Olivia's office that night. He'd grabbed her heavy coat from the hall tree, and stood ready to help her into it. He had to be alone with her again. Had to have her undivided attention, at least for a while. His feelings were growing stronger by the minute and precious time was slipping away. A voice inside that he didn't recognize and couldn't explain was urging him on.

“You can't be serious.” Olivia glanced up from the paperwork on her desk, then checked the time. “We just locked up for the night.”

“So? That's the best part about running your own place. If you wanna take a break, there's nobody to stop you.” He held up her coat in one hand, her scarf and familiar old cap in the other.

“What about Amos?”

“
What about him?
Do you honestly think he can't handle an empty building by himself for an hour?” Heath asked.

“Should we invite him to join us?” The tiniest grin twisted the corners of her mouth.

“Very funny.” Heath dropped his arms by his sides, tipped his head to the left and bit back further comment while he waited for her to take him up on his offer. He wouldn't accept anything less than yes for an answer. “Look, let's go enjoy ourselves while we can. Tomorrow you'll be up before the chickens to get ready for a visit from the gallery guy and then you'll start cooking for Thanksgiving. I'll be busy from sunup to sundown on that to-do list of yours because I want to make as many of those repairs as I can before my time here runs out.”

She stopped fiddling with the pencil in her right hand. Her lips pressed together, all sign of teasing gone. A crease settled between her dark brows as if a new worry wrinkle had moved into her brain.

“What is it, Olivia? Your whole face just went sad, like you got bad news.”

“I realize there's something I need to take care of before it gets any later.” She pushed up from her chair and reached toward Heath for her things. “I'll be ready to go as soon as I tell Amos we're leaving.”

“He already knows, said have a nice time.”

Heath watched her loop her knitted scarf in a way that turned it into a warm collar. Then he held her coat open while Olivia slipped first one arm and then the other into the sleeves. It was a courtesy he'd seen his father show his mother a hundred times but Heath only now realized it wasn't a favor, it was an act of love.

His heartbeat raced at the discovery.

“Thank you,” she murmured over her shoulder as she wrestled with the zipper.

Heath was grateful that she couldn't see what might be showing on his face as the tender thought raced through his mind. How much of life had his selfish brain failed to process properly? What else would become clear if he saw more of the world through loving eyes?

“Let me grab my purse from upstairs.”

“Don't be too long. I'm warming up the SUV.”

When she was out of sight, Heath dropped down into the chair she'd vacated. He pressed his face into his palms and his mind cried out in the quiet place.

God, if You're listening, how about some help here! What am I supposed to do? I can't take back what's in the past. She'll never understand, never forgive that almost everything she believes about me is fake. Do I keep up with this farce and let her think she's loved by a jerk who just can't share her future because he's so wrapped up in his own life? Or is it better to keep my feelings to myself and not let Olivia know she's loved at all? How do I do the least damage?

Heath heard footsteps too heavy and slow to be Olivia's. He raised his face. Amos swore under his breath as he took the office side chair.

“Awww, I saw this coming,” the old man complained. “For her sake I'm askin' you to leave that girl alone. You cain't do anything but break Miss Livvy's heart and it may already be too late.”

“Why are you so sure that's what'll happen?”

“Because when I look at you, it's like seein' myself in the mirror forty years ago. A leopard don't change his spots, boy. Not permanently. Oh, we may put others first for a time, but we always slide back into our selfish, pessimistic cocoons. And let's face it, we like it in that
comfortable place because it's predictable and easy. If you don't get invested in other people you don't have to deal with their problems, put up with their mess.”

There was no point in arguing with the truth. Amos's harsh words sank into Heath's gut like a punch to the belly. The honesty of it made Heath's stomach churn.

“Besides, she's out of your league.” Amos let the final arrow fly.

Heels clicked as Olivia passed through the doorway.

“Okay, I'm ready for that doughnut. The Jack and Jill bakery is open late and they have espresso.” Her voice was happy, excited.

She rubbed her hands together, anticipating the treat he'd offered. But now that Heath had been force-fed a load of guilt, he'd lost his appetite. As much as he hated to admit it, Amos was right.

Selfish was easy compared to the ache in Heath's chest that came from loving Olivia.