A second chance...At first love (Second Love Series Book 1) (12 page)

"Don't, please. You are beautiful.  Just let me look at you." He took a step back and admired her. He had thought about this so many times and yet it those fantasies didn't even come close to the real thing.  She was the most striking thing he had ever seen.  No wonder he couldn't shake her and he didn't want to.  He stepped closer to her.

"Will you take them off for me please," he whispered in her ear. He normally didn't ask, he just told them what to do, but this was Isabella.  He would never want do anything to make her feel uncomfortable.  She willingly obliged and took off the lace garment that had prevented him from getting a full view of her.  He dropped his briefs and pulled her close. He dipped his head down and took one breast in his mouth and reached slowly between her legs, he could feel how hot and wet she was.  Izzie was so turned on that she had dampness starting to run down her leg.  He wanted to taste her, but his body begged him to get deep inside of her, his cock throbbed to feel the warmth inside of her. While he was still sucking on her breasts, taking his time with each one, he used a finger to stir up her wetness.  He slowly took one finger and slid it deep inside, but instead of pulling it right back out, he moved it around, feeling her insides, searching for her spot.  He felt her legs tremble and knew it found it.  He pulled his finger out, dropped the breast from his mouth and sucked her juices clean of his finger.

"Damn Iz, that's even better than I knew you would taste."  She shivered.  No man had called her Iz, since Timothy. 

"Lay down baby."  She did as he asked and lay back on her bed and he climbed on top of her.  He leaned on his elbow and dipped his head down again to pay attention her breasts, her nipples had grown hard and felt good in his mouth.  He took his other hand and slowly began to work it inside her pussy, one finger, then two, getting her wet and stretching her for him.  She moaned she hadn't felt this good in so long.  Her shower escapades were child's play compared to how he was making her feel.  When he had gotten her nice and wet, he took the tip of his hard cock and slowly put in the tip. She gasped, he slid in a little further, and she gasped even louder.  He took his time, pushing in further and further, slow and steady.  He pushed all the way until he filled her completely and could go no further.  She moaned and grabbed his arms.  She had never felt that full, and Timothy was not little by any means.  Slowly, he worked in and out.  When she seemed to get used to that he pulled out further and went in deeper.  She leaned up and bit his shoulder, the pain and pleasure of it all was so intense.  He picked up the speed just a little.  He grunted and growled at how good she felt.  She moaned, arched her back and took all he had to give.  They laid there making love until they both were spent.  Afterward she laid in his arms, her head on his chest.  He was kissing her fingers on each hand when he spotted the charm bracelet again.

"Oh, I meant to ask you earlier, do you not like the tennis bracelet?"

"I love it, why would you think I don't?"

"I just figured that you didn't like it because you still have on this charm bracelet."

"Oh, no, no, I love it.  It’s just...this was a gift from a friend and I don't normally take it off.  Actually I have never taken it off."

"Must be a very special friend, should I be jealous?" He chuckled, but his stomach tightened, was he jealous? Should he be?

"No, you have nothing to be jealous of.  It was a gift from a high school boyfriend?"

"Still got a thing for your old flame, huh?  I think I am jealous."

"I promise Ellington you have nothing to be jealous about.  When I was a junior in high school, I went to prom with a senior, named Timothy.  I had crushed on Timothy for years and years before he asked me to prom.  After prom we dated for a few months, during the time we dated, he gave me this charm bracelet."

"So you do still have a thing for him?" He felt himself getting more and more bothered.

"No, not in the way you think.  Ok so, Timothy was supposed to go to school in London.  We'd made plans to be together after I graduated. I was going to go study in London to be with him.  We talked marriage, kids all of that stuff."

"Ok," he couldn't say any more than that for fear of revealing the jealousy creeping in.

"Towards the end of that summer, we went to a party and ended up in a big fight.  We almost broke up that night.  He had done something really, unbelievably stupid and lied to me about it.  We had a long talk then he apologized and made up that night."

"Mmm hmm..."

"When he dropped me off that night, it was late, really late.  There was a college party not too far from my house and some of them were leaving as he dropped me off.  The kids had been drinking.  Timothy had the right of way at a light.  The kids in the car didn't stop and hit him.  He died instantly." She started crying as she always did when she told the story. Ellington's heart dropped, he wrapped his arms around her and told he was so sorry for her loss. 

Holy shit!
he said to himself, how did he not know that.  When he really researched Isabella, he found out everything he could about her past.  He knew what high school she went to, her childhood address; her parents still lived there, he even knew about a pet parakeet she had when she was eight, how did he not know this? 

Shit, I have to tell her about my past, but she would never forgive me.  She lost her boyfriend to a drunk driver, how can I tell her that I was that stupid and it resulted in me taking the life of a mother and her unborn child?
He thought.  He kissed the top of her head and held her until she fell asleep. He had to go, he couldn't stay.  Not only did he feel guilty, he knew if he stayed he'd have a nightmare and he couldn't explain that to her, not now.  He slid from under her as slowly as possible so that he wouldn't wake her.  He sat on the edge of the bed gathering his clothes when he felt the bed shift, he looked over his shoulder and she was reaching for him. 

"I was trying not to wake you baby.  I have to go."

"Oh...umm, ok"

"Iz, it’s not like that," he laughed.  He couldn't blame her for thinking he was leaving because he had gotten what he wanted, but that wasn't it at all.

"No, its ok, I understand."

"Baby, look at me.  I just told you I'm falling in love with you. I wasn't kidding.  I wasn't saying it to sleep with you.  I said it because it’s true.  It's just that I get up really early to work out every morning and I have to go into the office tomorrow.  You aren't getting rid of me that easily."  She smiled.

"Ok."  He leaned in and kissed her forehead, nose and lips.

"Good night Bella Donna. Sleep well, don't get up, I'll let myself out."

"Good night Scotty," she giggled, he bit her shoulder playful, kissed her lips once more and left.

Ellington

What the fuck am I doing?
He said to himself. 
I need to let her go, I knew she deserved better than me. This is exactly why I don’t do this shit!

He sat in the back of the car and berated himself the whole ride back to his house.  He hadn't had a drink in fifteen years.  He kept a bottle of Woodford Reserve Bourbon in the kitchen in the back of a cabinet as a reminder to himself.  Sometimes, when things got rough he would take it out and hold it, as physical reminder when he needed more than his tattoo.  There had been times over the past fifteen years, when he wanted a drink.  Like social gatherings or after his nightmares but he always fought the urge.  Tonight he grabbed the bottle, poured a shot and held it.  He wanted it so badly.  This is what he fought against for the last fifteen years.  He put the shot glass on the table and rolled up the sleeve to his dress shirt and ran his hand over the tattoo.  He had gotten it three months after the accident, it was an intricately designed compass with the coordinates “40° 42' 29.6 N•74° 00' 41.7 W," the location of the accident.  He designed it to remind himself that he needed to take his life in a new direction from the point of the accident.  He could never again let himself be the man he was that day.  He picked the shot glass back up and put it to his lips, that smooth, sweet nectar just waiting to be tasted.  He shook his head, poured out the shot and put the bottle away. He was not going to give in to this, he wasn't the same person.  He was a better man now.  Sure he slept around, who didn't, but that didn't make him a bad guy.  There was no point bringing up the past, a past that was already painful to him.  Bringing up again would do nothing but add to the pain, for both of them.  He decided to drop it, he was happy and he intended to stay that way. He went into his bathroom, took a quick hot shower and jumped in the bed.  He laid there and replayed the latter part of his evening with Isabella, thoughts her playing over and over in his mind.  Her eyes, her smile, her lips, the sound of her moans, her body when she moved with his, her scent and he hardened instantly.  He reached for his phone.

Ellington: I miss you.

Izzie: I miss you too.

Ellington:  Were you sleeping?

Izzie:  Yes but you can wake me up anytime.

Ellington:  I'd like to wake you up another way.

Izzie:  Oh really, and what way is that?

Ellington:  I can show you better than I can tell you.

Izzie:  I can't wait to see...again.

Ellington:  I can't wait to show you...again. Good night beautiful Isabella.

He smiled to himself, still hard at the thoughts of her, he stroked himself to climax and drifted off to sleep, content with the thought that he might finally allow himself to be happy.

Ellington

When they weren't working they were almost inseparable over the next six months.  Dinners, theater, movies, lunches in the park, nights at home and always topped off with his favorite activity, making love to his Isabella, became part of their normal routine. Izzie noticed after a few weeks that they always seemed to end up back at her place at the conclusion of the evening and Ellington never stayed.  She brought it up a couple of times and each time he would use the excuse of his schedule.  He didn't want to disturb her because he had to get up early, foreign markets and different time zones, etc.  She dropped it because he always made the most of the time they had together and apart so she never really worried about it. 

He spoiled her any chance he got and enjoyed every minute of it.  She would always tell him that it was too much and that he was over doing it, but he didn't care. After a long week, Ellington couldn't wait for Friday night, he was exhausted.  He really wanted a quiet night in with Isabella, to curl up on the couch and watch a movie. About six o'clock, he was packing up to leave the office when Izzie called his cell phone.

"Hey baby," he answered.

"Hey you, how was your day?"

"It's been a long one baby.  I can't wait to just curl up with my arms wrapped around you tonight."

"Me too, but I was thinking we could do something a little different.  I want to cook for you, but at your house.  You always come over and have to leave early.  I want you to be at home and comfortable.  If you are worried about me getting home, I can always take the car.  I already have it planned out and the shopping is done, you can't say no."

"Ha, ok baby, you know I rarely say no to you. I'll meet you there."

"Meet you there."

"See you soon bella donna"

"See you soon."

When he walked in, the smell of dinner cooking was fantastic, it made his stomach rumble.  She had let herself in the with the key he had given her a few weeks before and started cooking about an hour before he got there. He dropped his briefcase and his keys on the hallway table, took off his jacket, and loosened his tie as he walked into the kitchen.  She was bent over looking in the stove, engrossed in cooking so she didn't hear him walk in.  He snuck up and grabbed her from behind and kissed her neck.  She turned and kissed him.

"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes baby," Izzie said.

"Take your time, what did you make?"

"Puff Pastry Chicken Pot Pie, I found it in my Williams-Sonoma cookbook."

"Sounds terrific, Julia Childs," he teased.

He went into the living room turned on the sound system and pulled up the playlist "Old School Motown," on his Spotify.  When he walked back into the kitchen, Isabella was dancing to the music.  He leaned in the doorway and just watched.
God she's so beautiful,
he thought.  She turned and caught him watching her.  She grabbed his arm and pulled him to dance with her. He shook his head, she pouted playfully.  He shook his head but acquiesced.  He couldn't believe he was dancing but it made her smile.  She had never seen him dance to something other than the soft jazzy stuff that was always played at dinner events, he was adorable.  She laughed as he spun her around. He loved her laugh. After their impromptu dance session, she set the table for them to eat dinner.  After dinner, they sat on the couch to watch a movie.  Their tradition had become the classics, watching AMC most times.  Tonight Ellington suggested "Five Came Back," because he knew Izzie was a big Lucille Ball fan.  About halfway through the movie, while Izzie was lying on his chest she heard his breathing get heavy.  She knew he'd had a long week and didn't want to disturb him.  She got up and went into the kitchen to clean up, before she left.  She was just finishing up when she heard something behind her.  It was him, watching her again.

"Getting ready to sneak out on me?" he said.

"No baby, well....I mean, you looked so peaceful and you had such a long week I didn't want to disturb you."

"Baby, you never disturb me."

"I put the leftovers in the fridge, so you will have lunch for tomorrow."

"Thank you my bella donna, but I'm not worried about tomorrow.  I'm more worried about right now."

"What do you mean?"

"Stay."

"What?"

"Stay with me, tonight. I want you to stay."

"Baby, I know you get up early and I know you need your space, I'm ok going home, really."

"No, I don't want you to go. Stay with me tonight.  I need you.  Please."

"Yes."

He walked over, picked her up and carried her to his bedroom so that he could make love to her until they passed out with bodies entwined.  That night the thing he had feared happened, the dream, rather the nightmare came.  Since he and Isabella had gotten more serious, the dreams lessened but still haunted him.  It was usually the same nightmare he'd always had, but for the last few weeks, sometimes Abby was replaced with Izzie. He always tried to stop himself from getting in the car, from driving off, but of course, it never worked.  It always ended with the same outcome, death by his hand.  That night as the car screeched and hit Izzie, he screamed out. "Noooooo, Isabella, no!"  Izzie woke up and saw Ellington in the midst of his nightmare.

"Baby, wake up you're dreaming! It’s just a nightmare.  Baby, please, wake up." Izzie said. 

She pulled his head to her chest and kissed his forehead.  He woke up in shaking and in a cold sweat.  It took him a few seconds to realize he was in his bed, safely wrapped in Izzie's arms.

"Shh...baby, its ok, it was just a dream."  He reached up, grabbed her face and kissed her.

"I love you Isabella."

"I love you too.  What were you dreaming about? Do you remember?"

"It's a nightmare that I have often, its nothing."

"It didn't sound like nothing. You screamed my name."

He sat up on the edge of the bed with his face in his hands.  He had to tell her.

"Isabella, there's something I have to tell you," he started. "First let me say that I'm a totally different person than I was when I was younger.  I used to be wild and reckless but I grew up.  I'm not him anymore.  I used to hang with a bad crowd, Iz, really bad. Second, I have spent many years making changes to myself and I know that I can't change what I have done, but I have tried to make things better for others.

"Um...ok, baby.  You're scaring me, what's wrong."

On the night of my twenty-first birthday, I was out with someone I thought was a friend, we partied hard that night Isabella, alcohol, drugs.  You name it and I was probably on it that night. After we partied, he dropped me back off at my car.  I knew I shouldn't drive that night but..."

He saw the look on Izzie's face change from concern for him to horror and disgust as she already knew how this was going to end.

"As I pulled out of the parking lot of the club, my phone rang. I was reaching for my phone and I looked down for a split second and by the time I looked back up it was too late.  There was a woman, Abby, that was walking across the street heading to work that morning.  I couldn't stop, I tried to swerve, Iz, it was too late.  She died almost instantly.  She was eight months pregnant at the time."

"Oh my God!" she screamed.

"Please, Iz, please.  I'm not that person anymore."

"Why didn't you tell me this before now?  You knew what happened to Timothy? When I told you that, why didn't you tell me?"

"Isabella, I couldn't.  I saw the tears you shed for him and the look disgust for the driver of the car and I didn't want to lose you.  I'm not that guy anymore.  I gave up drugs and don't drink anymore ever.  I got this tattoo, three months after the accident to remind me of the person I never want to be."  He ran his hand across the tattoo.

"I can't believe you would keep this from me. I...I just don't know what to say to you."

"Isabella please, I'm sorry!"

"You should have told me!"

"I know, I know. I'm so sorry"

"I have to go!"

"Please Iz, don't leave."

"I just...I have to go." She jumped out of the bed, he grabbed her hand.

"Please baby, I'm so sorry.  I should have told you, I just didn't want to lose you. I gave up on the idea of falling in love a long time ago and then you came along. I was just scared."

"Ellington, please, I need some time."

She called the driver, and walked out.  He followed to the car begging for her forgiveness the entire time.  He pled with her to stay and talk to him.  She left.