A Sense of Duty: A Former Navy SEAL Falls in Love and Begins a New Journey with his Private Consulting Company: Dark Horse Guardians (18 page)

"I miss your visits to my office late in the day, my dear, but I know you've been visiting Ben and Einstein, just down the hall." He began slowly. "Lara, I want to talk with you about Ben…" here it comes. She was expecting this. "You know Ben is married and has a child." Her heart skipped a beat but she sat still and listened. "But, more importantly, you need to understand that Ben is married to his work. He is a unique individual; a bit obsessive, maybe even compulsive, in regards to his work. I think he finds his consulting cases to be a safe haven from his personal problems. I never had a son, but Ben has filled that void. I brought Ben here to Maine and arranged for him to bump into you at the recital reception. I had a strong sense that the two of you needed to meet. I'm not playing matchmaker, mind you," he puffed, "but I think you make the most handsome couple."

Lara looked into her professor's dark eyes. Oddly, she had sensed Harris was instrumental in her meeting Ben. Harris went on, "Lara, over the last few weeks it has become obvious to me that Ben is really taken with you. This is not a casual type of thing; it's the love that comes along once in a man's lifetime. He has spent countless hours talking with me about you, plotting to make you his wife." Trying to maintain composure, Lara knew she could not disguise the joy that must have lit up her eyes. He continued, "There's only one wrinkle. Even though Ben is getting a divorce from Sienna he will always be required to travel to Canada to see William, and these visits may be difficult for your relationship. Sienna is an evil woman. Under normal circumstances Ben never would have married her. But he did marry her at a very young age because she was pregnant. He tried to make it work but now he is divorcing her. But, here's the rub: by divorcing Sienna, Ben is losing William." Lara thought for a moment. "But, won't Ben have parental rights? Ben would be sacrificing his relationship with William to be with me?" It was as if Lara had to repeat the sentence in order to fully understand its magnitude. Harris looked down at the floor and said, "Yes, this is the choice Ben is wrestling with. If he has the strength to make the choice, I hope he has the fortitude to live with the results."

He shifted in his chair and took a series of puffs on the pipe before he spoke again. "There is another thing about Ben that you need to know, Lara." She watched his demeanor change. He was no longer looking in her eyes, but now focused on the pipe in his hand. "Ben's consulting group does secret government work and you must never speak of his work to anyone. He is a professor here at the university, but the bulk of his time is actually dedicated to consulting. Whenever you speak of Ben, you need to talk about him being a professor, nothing more. I am not at liberty to tell you more than that, except to warn you, the consulting work Ben does is risky. It will take a special woman to understand him and tolerate his unstructured life. I just want you to know what you are getting into." Harris rose and moved toward the doorway saying with finality, "I want you and Ben to be happy together. But I also want you to go into this relationship understanding everything there is to know about Ben. If you need to talk, you know you can always find me in my office, my dear."

The faint smell of his pipe hung in the air. He touched her arm lightly before closing the door behind him. This conversation was very difficult for Harris to carry out. He prepared his words carefully. Lara quickly rewound back to the part where he said Ben was "taken" with her, wanted to make Lara his wife. Sitting back on the ottoman Lara took a long deep breath and attempted to collect her thoughts. She knew she could not stop seeing Ben now, at this juncture. She felt compelled to be with him. This type of relationship with a man, for Lara, had always been elusive. She had never been taken by surprise in this way. Her relationships, her life, every tiny detail, was planned and put on a daily checklist. Lara's plan was to be married and have a child by the age of thirty. She was now twenty-four, almost twenty-five. Was Ben the guy to fit into her plan? He seemed to appear in her life overnight. There were moments when Lara was terrified by the intensity of her feelings for him. Then there were moments when she felt exhilarated and completely alive in his presence. Professor Harris had arranged the meeting and thought she was the perfect woman for Ben.
If only Ben wasn't married.

Excited to have Ben in her life for Thanksgiving and Christmas, the holidays took on special meaning for Lara. Being an only child Lara typically visited her mother and closest friends the week of Christmas. The holidays always magnified her grief
of her father's sudden death. Lara's widowed mother, Lillian, at the age of fifty-two, moved into a condo community on the coast of Maine. She had friends, played cribbage, and traveled extensively. Lara kept in touch with her and visited whenever she could. She usually invited her mother for Thanksgiving and drove up to visit her for Christmas.

Lara had a special feeling about the holidays. If she had to define the spirit that filled her she would describe it with one word: hopeful. She was hopeful for someone to come into her life to alleviate the aching loneliness in her heart. Not belonging to any particular religion, Lara found her connection to God in the natural world. She never felt closer to a higher being than when she was immersed in nature. Her cathedral was a wide open field of wildflowers or a quiet pond at sunset.

Lara schemed to make a Thanksgiving feast for Ben that Martha Stewart would envy. Not used to cooking, she had to follow recipes and tackled meal preparation with the careful study of a scientist. She wanted to impress Ben. Stuffed turkey breast, roasted vegetables and gingerbread muffins with cream cheese frosting; this seemed to be the perfect meal. She invited her mother, Don and Olivia Henderson, Rusty, and Professor Harris to join them. The dining table could easily hold a party of seven. Everything seemed to be in order until she received a last minute phone call from Ben. In an exhausted voice he said that he had to urgently leave for Canada as his son, William, was in the hospital. He would, hopefully, return in a few days, if the situation was not serious. He apologized profusely for missing Lara's Thanksgiving meal. He promised to text her. He flew out without saying goodbye. Lara's heart sank.

She had the Thanksgiving dinner, minus Ben. As planned, it was in Ben's lovely dining room. Lara offered to take care of Einstein while he was away. Her mother was due to arrive any moment. Lately, she had become a slower driver. Don and Olivia called last minute and asked if they could add Eric to the guest list. He just arrived from Boston unexpectedly. Lara said, yes, of course. Don, Olivia and Eric arrived first. Lara helped them put their coats away in the entry. Rusty and Professor Harris arrived moments later. Harris politely asked if he could light his pipe and all agreed it would be fine. The aroma of cherry tobacco wafted through the room. Lara's mother, Lillian, arrived last and Lara introduced her to each person. Rusty's demeanor changed the moment he laid eyes on Lillian. Lara sensed her mother was unaware of Rusty's keen interest in her. Once all had assembled, Lara took the guests on an informal tour of Ben's large beautiful Victorian apartment and they marveled at the beauty of every little detail. It was obvious to Lara that Rusty had taken a special interest in her mother, and it was sweet how he deliberately sat next to her at the table. Their conversation was quiet and steady. Lara paid close attention to their body language.

Thanksgiving was a dreary, rainy day, but the fresh flowers brightened the room bringing fragrance and life. Lara filled Ben's apartment with flowers, knowing her mother would love them. White roses in the bedroom and bath, a mixture of mums and sunflowers placed in low glass containers on the dining table, with tiny pumpkins and gourds on the buffet. Peonies brightened the kitchen. The food was perfection. Einstein was delighted to have a house full of people petting him.

Lara felt Eric closely watching her throughout the meal. He purposefully sat directly across from her at the table and kept up a running conversation about his life and work. It had to be obvious that Lara's heart was aching for Ben. The conversation around the table was all about Ben. Lara could not stop herself from babbling on about her admiration for Ben and his work, decorating his office, and their daily walks with Einstein. Lara's mother said she could not wait to meet Ben. She was hoping to get the opportunity today; it was too bad he was called away so suddenly. Harris chimed in saying Ben was like a son to him and how much he respected Ben's service to the country. Don and Olivia spoke about meeting Ben at the restaurant and said he made a very good impression. Rusty put his two cents worth in, in his own inimitable way, "Here's my take on this guy: if he makes Lara happy, then I like him. If he makes Lara unhappy, ever, then, I will make him pay." The guests laughed, but sensed he really meant it.

After dinner the guests sat in the large parlor enjoying gingerbread muffins and fresh coffee. Sitting next to Eric later in the parlor he filled her in regarding his latest bonus and promotion at work. Eric helped Lara collect the empty coffee cups to put them into the dishwasher, allowing them to be alone for a few brief moments in the kitchen. The guests were busy finding their coats when Eric whispered, "Would you join me for a shopping trip tomorrow? I thought it might be a good time to start the treasure hunt, so to speak." Lara agreed to meet with him the next day to visit a few antique shops and salvage yards spread across the southern Maine area.

Thanksgiving was over, but Lara was not thankful for the misery she was feeling missing Ben. The house was quiet with guests gone, and she worked expertly cleaning Ben's dining room, the kitchen counters, and starting the dishwasher. She shut off the lights in the other rooms and she ended up in the kitchen with Einstein. She locked Ben's apartment door and brought her canine companion to her parlor.

~Lara~

Lara was exhausted. The hour was late by the time she finally stretched out on the sofa. Her phone rang. It was Ben. "Happy Thanksgiving." he said in a muted voice. It was midnight, but he was in Canada in a different time zone. She was happy to hear his voice, but not the news he had to share. He reported that William had a seizure and the physicians at the hospital could not determine what caused it. A number of tests were conducted to rule out various possibilities. Ben sounded dreary when he spoke of Sienna. "She is here at the hospital. It is unbearable." he moaned. "How long do you think you will be there?" Lara asked, afraid to hear the answer. "William is stable. It's Sienna who is making this into a circus. She is fighting with the doctors and she has William frightened. A seizure is no small thing, but it could be the result of William's hockey game two nights ago. He was roughed up badly and suffered a mild concussion. Sienna pulled him off the hockey team and William is now furious with her. I am not a father but a referee between these two. I will try to catch a flight home tomorrow morning." Ben said tentatively. Lara said goodnight but hung up the phone with a feeling of apprehension. Would this be Ben's life? Running to Canada at Sienna's beck and call? Going to Canada to see William because Sienna demanded it? Leaving constantly to travel to far away lands for his consulting work?

~ Lara ~

Eric picked Lara up the next morning at the pink Victorian. It was black Friday. What was she thinking? Traffic was snarled everywhere. As they tried to find a parking space in the city Lara said, "This place is mobbed. Let's head out to those off the beaten path places I told you about. Eric agreed. "Where should we start?" Lara looked into his eyes and smiled, "I think I need to drive. It's just that I'm familiar with all of these back roads." Eric willingly complied and pulled over; they swapped seats. Driving for forty minutes to the Lakes Region, the first shop was housed in an ancient brick building, once part of a farm. Filled with rare vintage pieces, she took Eric's shopping list and immediately found a perfect gift for Don and Olivia. Eric was like a fish out of water in the store, but Lara guided him through some breathtaking selections. He purchased whatever she suggested. Then, back in the city she found a lovely vintage silver tea service. "Your aunt collects these." she explained. Eric hardly paid attention to the gift and quickly had it packed up, "Let's grab lunch." She had the distinct feeling that the shopping trip was a ploy to spend time with her alone.

They walked to Rudy's Chowder House, a quaint mid-sized pub just down the street. Seated next to a huge window in a tall wooden booth, they watched the frantic shoppers making their way through the streets in search of the perfect black Friday deal. Listening to Eric was easy. He had a self-deprecating sense of humor and a sharp wit. Lara laughed as he observed passing shoppers analyzing them as they walked by the large glass window. "Oh, that guy looks angry. His wife is forcing him to Christmas shop, but neither is happy." He ordered another beer then turned his dark blue eyes to her, "Lara, why have you been avoiding me for the past month? Is it this Ben Keegan guy that moved in next door?" Lara felt the need to explain, "My work at the architectural firm has been keeping me very busy. Also, I took on the task of decorating Ben's office at the university, which was a monumental project. Then, I was physically attacked by a contractor on another project and I'm pressing charges. That pretty much covers it." Eric's demeanor changed, "What did you say about being attacked by a contractor?" Lara explained the harrowing incident with Stephens. Eric listened attentively. "God, Lara, I had no idea all this had happened to you. Why didn't you return my calls?" Not knowing what to say, Lara exhaled. "It was a difficult time for me, Eric." He touched her hand, "I hope you are feeling better now…that you are with me." Lara smiled. "I'm fine. I'm a lot tougher than I look. Since the incident I've been working out more. Maybe it was a good thing it happened. It woke me up."