A Sense of Duty: A Former Navy SEAL Falls in Love and Begins a New Journey with his Private Consulting Company: Dark Horse Guardians (20 page)

Once her shopping was completed, Lara strolled into Rudy's Chowder House where she had lunch with Eric the day before. As she opened the door to the pub she suddenly felt a body bump into her from behind. She quickly turned. "Hello, beautiful." Ben whispered surprising her. Lara hadn't seen him since the rant he gave her about holding hands with Eric on the porch. She asked with genuine surprise, "Ben, what are you doing here?" Ben smiled, "Having lunch with you." They sat at the table by the window. Lara looked into Ben's remorseful blue eyes as he pled with her, "I'm sorry…for last night…for putting you through an interrogation like that about Eric. I acted like an idiot. This has been frustrating for me, Lara."
This has been frustrating for me, too, Ben.
But, she didn't say it.

His intense gaze held Lara's, "I will miss you…" He tenderly held her hand. He was flying to Langley, and then out of the country early in the morning and would be gone until Christmas Day. "I sent a text earlier but you didn't reply. I thought you might be angry with me." Lara quickly looked at her phone and noticed she had silenced it. "Oops, sorry, I was shopping, and had my phone on silent…" A mischievous smile played on his face. "I saw your car pulling away...I followed you to the clothing store, not wanting to interrupt. By the way, the red sweater you purchased looks fantastic on you." Lara stopped breathing. "Ben, have you been spying on me?" He smiled, "I saw you walk toward Rudy's and thought I could catch lunch with you here. That's it!" He threw his hands up in the air with that dimpled smile she loved. She listened to Ben as he described watching her in the store. "I have never seen a woman so unaware of her own beauty. I could not take my eyes off you, Lara. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you." Ben was now the one blushing. He took her hand lightly, "Lara, I want to see you for Christmas." He had color in his cheeks, was unshaven, and smelled incredibly good. He was wearing the leather jacket and a black V-neck sweater. His pale blue eyes filled with intensity when they met hers. His smile was intoxicating; Lara suspected Ben knew very well the effect he was having on her.

He asked if it would be all right if he contacted her, texting and phoning periodically the next few days while traveling. Lara told him that would be fine. They agreed to spend Christmas Day together. He was flying out for the consultation at 6:00 tonight and she wouldn't see him for a week. Lara started missing him already as they parted and left Rudy's. She could sense Ben's eyes upon her as she walked toward her parked vehicle. Unlocking the door, she brushed her hair aside. She looked up and saw him leaning against a telephone pole staring at her. He smiled and waved. Then walked to his truck and got in. Still watching Lara he sat in the truck as it idled. He was waiting for her to drive away first. Lara's mind turned to how she would fill the empty days without Ben. She phoned her mother on the way home and planned her Christmas visit.

~ Ben ~

Driving back to the apartment Ben wished Lara could stow away on the plane with him. For the first time in his life he did not want to travel abroad for his consulting work. Even though the face-to-face visits would net him a great deal of intelligence in a short period of time, he knew he would miss Lara. The thrill of the chase used to be the intel, now it was her.
He had never been captivated by a woman like Lara. She was twenty-four but had the soul of someone much more mature.

Ben memorized every detail about her and brought her image to the forefront of his memory. When away from her, he would turn the details over repeatedly. Her eyes were a shade of emerald green that took his breath away; they gave away her deepest secrets. He felt he belonged to her when he looked into her eyes. She had delicate feminine features. Her lips were full, innocent and expressive and always had a faint stain of lipstick. He loved the smell of her dark silky hair. He had never fought the urge to kiss a woman so much in his life. She had a smile that dazzled him. He found himself working to make her laugh or smile whenever possible. Ben looked for excuses to touch her. He dreamt of holding her and pressing her perfect form close to his. He replayed the stolen French kiss on the porch over and over in his memory, thankful that he had gotten the chance to kiss her so he could reminisce while away. He remembered slow dancing with her at the roadhouse, and how she embraced him on the motorcycle. The memories of Lara would sustain him in the long days ahead.

~Lara~

Trying not to think about Ben, Lara packed Einstein up and brought him with her to visit her mother, Lillian O'Connell. Although every time Lara looked into Einstein's eyes, she knew he missed Ben as much as she. The drive would be good for both of them. She borrowed Ben's iPod and played his favorite music while driving. Lara's mother lived in a beautiful oceanfront condo on the mid-coast a two hour drive from Portland. The last time Lara visited her mother's condo was in August. She recalled it had been a sweltering hot day as her Fiat pulled into the guest parking space. She spotted her mother outside in the communal garden on that August day; she had been cutting flowers for one of the many large vases in her condo. That was something they had in common, both loved fresh flowers. Her mother's face was bronzed and lined from being in the sun, but in her youth she was an incredibly beautiful woman. Mother still had beauty and grace.

Today as Lara approached the building it was December, a few days before Christmas. Lara opened the door of the main
lodge and saw her mother placing freshly cut boughs on the mantle in the community room for Christmas. She was serving cocoa to all who came by the table. She moved through the great room coordinating the decor of the Christmas tree. Her dark hair was in a French twist and now had shades of silver. As she looked up and saw Lara approaching, her mother threw her arms into the air, "Hello, Lara!" Lara walked toward her and she was smiling. Her mother had perfectly applied lipstick, another thing they had in common. The two sat in the atrium for a while and spoke about the coming holiday season. Her mother helped prepare the flower garden for the coming winter. Her interest now turned to oil painting. This was new.

Lara retrieved Einstein from her car and walked to her mother's cottage to have tea. Her mother was delighted to see Einstein and petted him with affection, curious about his owner. Lara looked at some of the sketches her mother was working on. She was now painting on canvas but sketched everything first. Lara liked the subject matter, still life, landscapes, fruits, flowers, and garden scenes. She definitely had talent. The flower petals in her paintings looked so real you could see the dew drops on them. In her cottage the conversation turned to Lara's life. Lara knew she had to fill her mother in about Eliot, Eric, and especially Ben. Lara's mother was fascinated with the details. When Lara asked her opinion, her mother said she could not give an opinion as she had never met any of them, except for Eric. "Lara, I will only tell you this: when you marry, choose the man that you are madly in love with
…the guy that makes you feel secure. Marry the man you trust, who makes you laugh, who wants to be with you every minute of every day…that's how it was with your father. I have been so lonely since he died…even though I have friends, it's not the same. It's like part of me died with him." Lara could relate to the lonely feeling her mother expressed. Just now Lara was beginning to understand what her mother was talking about.

Lara talked the most about her relationship with Ben. "You had Thanksgiving in his condo. He's the one I met at the piano recital and he has been calling and texting me ever since. He is not only handsome, but a man of integrity. He's a Navy officer, actually a Navy SEAL Lieutenant, retired now. He spent six years in the Middle East. He's teaching at the university. He owns a consulting firm and travels a lot. He's legally separated and has a son. It's complicated, Mom." she sighed. But, her mother surprised her when she said, "Lara, when you speak about Ben, your face lights up. Your eyes are dancing with excitement. I think he sounds like a wonderful person. Is he handsome?" Lara took out her phone and shared photos of Ben and his newly decorated office. "Oh my goodness, Lara!" she exclaimed, "He is very handsome, gorgeous, in fact!" It was amusing to hear her mother describe Ben that way. Lara suddenly realized that her relationship with Ben was the once-in-a-lifetime type of love that she yearned for.

Lara stayed for lunch and gave her mother a cashmere sweater for Christmas, a beaded necklace, a lovely pair of silver starfish earrings, and some new books to read. Her mother gave Lara the beautiful painting she had just finished, the roses with dew drops on the leaves. Lara wrapped it in tissue paper and packed it into the Fiat.  It occurred to Lara, although she had plenty of busy activities, her mother needed a male companion in her life. Her thoughts immediately turned to Rusty McManus. "Do you remember Rusty at Thanksgiving, Mom?" she asked. Her mother smiled and said, "Yes, he said he would like to see me again…I really enjoyed his company." It had been a long time since Lara had seen her mother smile like that. Lara told her she was having a New Year's Eve soiree and wanted her to come and spend the night. Her mother eagerly agreed.

Lara's mother had never really understood her even though they had a close friendship all of their lives. They were two very different people. Lillian O'Connell was now a young widow, only fifty-two. Lara's father passed away two years earlier at the young age of fifty-six in an auto accident. Both women missed him terribly. Living in the house alone was not a good option for her mother as she was a social butterfly, the total opposite of Lara. Mom was in her element here. There were lots of people and activities. Relatives lived nearby. Today she was happy and excited to see Lara. She chatted about all of the day trips she had taken. She was also involved in charity work in the small surrounding community. But, she was too young and too beautiful to be alone. Rusty McManus would be a good match. Lara knew she needed to work out the details. She added this task to her checklist. Lara hugged her mother and kissed her goodbye. The next stop was Rusty's cottage on the pond. She started driving late in the day planning to be there by early evening. Rusty was expecting Lara. Einstein snored in the passenger seat as she listened to Ben's favorite songs on his iPod…"American Soldier" by Toby Keith; "I Just Got Back
from a War" by Darryl Worley; "Riser" by Dierks Bentley.

The woodpiles at Rusty's cottage were neatly stacked. This was standard procedure for him. Usually, by December, he had his woodpiles assembled neatly around the cottage to help keep the wind and snow drifts down. His cottage was on the water on Panther Pond in Raymond Maine, beautiful and secluded; it reminded Lara of the cottage in the movie "On Golden Pond." His home had rustic charm, yet all the comforts of a city dwelling. The windows were energy efficient; he had a wind mill, a generator, and solar batteries to keep everything running if the power went out.

Rusty was widowed several years ago and Lara met him at a point in her life when she missed her father tremendously. He became a father figure. Rusty McManus had just celebrated his 58th birthday, but you'd never know it to look at him. He was in fantastic shape, constantly physically working. Rusty knew Lara was coming and warmly greeted her at the door with his usual bear hug. "Lara, dear, come right in and join me by the fire." Einstein bounded out of the Fiat and Rusty rubbed his ears. The cottage was toasty warm. She removed her coat and placed it on the peg in the mudroom, then slipped off her boots. It was natural for Lara to visit Rusty at his cottage. It was a short drive from Portland and she spent a great deal of time with him on the pond, swimming, boating, fishing, and just plain talking. Whenever she had free time, the two would be together at his shooting range.

Immediately, Rusty began to ask questions about Ben. Lara explained Ben was in Langley then going abroad consulting and she would see him on Christmas Day. "Divorced yet?" Rusty asked. Lara said, "No, not yet." His brows knit together as he listened intently taking in every word. He nodded as she spoke occasionally adding a word here or there. After Lara's delivery of events there was a lull in the conversation. She sensed that Rusty was about to share his deepest thoughts with her. "Well, Lara, you've got your hands full with Eliot, Ben and Eric. But you need to know I am in Ben's corner even though he is still married. And, knowing Ben as well as I do I'm glad you have set some boundaries with him. I knew right away that he would pursue you. Being a good looking guy, he has plenty of women throwing themselves at him, but he's not interested in those types. But I knew the fact that he was married would be a roadblock. I knew you would set limits with Ben to protect yourself. You are an independent woman with strong values and a good head on your shoulders. I am proud of you." Lara's heart swelled with the praise he lavished upon her. His opinion really mattered.

Lara probed Rusty for more information about Ben and Dark Horse. She asked if he had ever heard of the group before Ben's background check. He said he knew of it. Dark Horse was well known in the intelligence community. Lara trusted Rusty more than anyone. She shared her most intimate thoughts of Ben, "When I am with him, I'm happy, safe, content. I have tremendous respect for what he does for a living. Although he doesn't share details with me, I feel as if Ben is making a positive difference in the world….he is passionate about his work…. he is driven by a sense of duty." Lara spoke with unbridled passion.
Rusty knew she was hooked.
He made a mental note to push Ben about getting the divorce wrapped up as soon as possible.

Rising from his chair, Rusty retrieved two cold ginger ales from the fridge. The pair sat on the three-season porch overlooking the lake. Even though it was a cold December evening the porch was heated by the fire roaring in Rusty's wood stove. The pair always did their best thinking looking at the water, sitting side by side, drinking ginger ale. Lara and Rusty sat in silence for a long time. Then, he spoke. "Lara, I understand why you want to be with Ben. It's normal to want that. It's not normal for a man or a woman to live alone. There are some days I get mighty lonely up here by myself. It's not that I want a woman to take care of me it's just that I miss female companionship. I wanted to ask about your mother. We had a great time at Thanksgiving, and I have been thinking about her ever since." Lara's heart warmed and she smiled. "Rusty, I think it's high time you had a date with my mother!" He laughed and asked if she really thought her mother would be interested in him. Lara said, "I
know
she would be. I just came from a visit with her and she mentioned how much she enjoyed your company, funny thing, eh?" Lara and Rusty shared a simple dinner and had their usual burping contest after drinking too much ginger ale. Laughing with Rusty was the relaxation Lara needed. They made s'mores and talked well into the night. Finally, Rusty hauled the sleeping bag out of the closet and laid it gently on the sofa for her as he had done so many times before. "Goodnight, Lara. Get some rest. You will need to be at the top of your game to beat me at target practice tomorrow."