A Shift in the Water (29 page)

A quiet knock on his door had his heart leaping into his throat.

“Cade? Can I come in?”

He scrambled for his jeans, tugging them over his hips. He couldn’t face Mara half-naked. He reached for his balled up sweatshirt, but before he could find the sleeves, the door cracked open.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

The concern in her voice melted any resistance he had. He’d worried her with his nightmares. He had to fix this. “No.” The sweatshirt fell away and he pulled her close. Her cheek rested against his bare shoulder. She felt perfect in his arms. Cool skin, soft curves against his chest, the tickle of her long hair against the hand he pressed to her back. “I need you.”

Mara pulled away, filling him with disappointment. But instead of leaving, she laced her fingers with his and pulled him after her, into the hall and down to her room. He hesitated at her door, tugging at her hand. “Mara.”

“What? Is there some anti-werewolf force field around my bed? One that sprang up in the past two days?”

A chuffing laugh escaped his lips. “No. It’s not that.”

A single brow raised in question.

“We need to talk.”

“Goddess, Cade. Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to say that to a woman?” She dropped his hand and climbed into her bed—the one place he was desperate to be. She patted the spot next to her. “Come here and talk.”

He stared. Indecision stayed his steps. “If I get in bed with you, it’s over for me.”

“You’re the master of cryptic sentences, you know that? Fine.” She nodded towards the cedar chest in the corner of the room. “Go sit there and don’t move. Other than your mouth. Explain yourself.”

Cade sank down onto the chest. “I told you that alphas don’t have casual sex.” At her nod, he continued. “It’s been a long time for me. I dated in college. Nothing serious. After I left Seattle, sex was . . . an occasional release. I wasn’t an alpha. Never wanted to be. Never wanted anyone permanent in my life. I had a few one-night stands, trying to avoid who I was. This part of me that was born to lead. But I hated it.” At Mara’s raised brow, he cracked a wry smile. “Fine. The sex itself was good. I hated how I felt after. Once I moved to Bellingham and fell in with my pack, there was no one.”

“How long?” Her legs shifted under the blankets. They’d felt like home wrapped around his hips earlier. He wanted them there again. Without the barrier of her thin pants. Or his.

“Six years.”

Mara’s jaw popped open. Her pale pink lips formed an
o.
A mask of confusion slid over her face, and then fell away with a shake of her head. “Goddess. I thought
I
was a monk. I haven’t been with anyone in three years.”

It was his turn to be shocked. This beautiful, intelligent, and empathetic woman should never have been alone. He shoved that thought away. She wasn’t alone now. She’d never be alone again if he had anything to say about it. “There were women who flirted. Wolves passing through. Even a beta from another pack. She would have been a smart mating. But I felt nothing for her. Nor she for me. We didn’t even kiss. Once I found my place in the pack, it all changed for me.”

“Why?”

“Because I have responsibilities. Or I did anyway.” His shoulders slumped. “I don’t know if I’m still the alpha. I was gone for a long time. Liam should have petitioned to take over. If he did, I won’t upset the balance of the pack by challenging him. I have to do what’s best for all of them.”

“That still doesn’t explain why you can’t let me comfort you. You’re having nightmares so bad you were begging to die.” Her voice cracked a little. “Sleep here. With me. Nothing else needs to happen.”

The tension in the room was a physical presence, a thickness in the air, an electricity that prickled along Cade’s bare chest, raising the fine sandy hairs.

“I want more.” At his words, she took a single stuttering breath. “You’re mine. My wolf—he knows it. Hell. I know it. I can’t get into your bed, be close to you, without wanting all of you. Werewolves mate for life, Mara. I’m not afraid of it. But this isn’t your world and I can’t change who I am to give you what you want. If we do this, I’ll be yours. For the rest of my life. Even if you reject me. I’d leave if you asked me to, but it would be the hardest thing I’d ever have to do. Which is why I’m going back to my room.” He tore his gaze away from her face and got to his feet. “I’m sorry.”

“Cade, wait.” Mara got out of bed and caught him at the door. He drew in a sharp breath.

“If you don’t want me to take you right now, you’ll let me go,” he growled.

She held on tightly. “I’m not afraid of you. I’m scared of a lot of things,” she admitted. “I’m scared that I’m going to wake up tomorrow and my hands will be shaking. That in three days the dark circles under my eyes will come back. That I’ll need a transfusion in a week. That I won’t be able to get out of bed in a month. That this is my last Christmas, my last New Year’s. My last . . . everything. But I’m not scared of you. Never of you.”

“Fuck it.” He swept her into his arms. “Tell me to stop. If you tell me to stop, I will. I’ll walk away. But if you don’t, I need you naked. Right now.”

Her body melted against him. The barest curves, cool skin, and a refreshing summer’s rain. A tear shimmered in her eye. “I can’t promise you anything. I want this. You. More than anything. But I’m still getting used to the fact that
I
might have a future. I can’t promise it to
you
yet. All I can give you is right now. Today. Tomorrow. Next week. After that . . .”

“My eyes are open, Mara. You had to know. Before it went beyond a kiss. Before I let myself hope . . . for more.” His cock strained against the press of her body. He spun with her and pinned her down on the bed. She ripped at his zipper and shoved his jeans down around his thighs. His boxer briefs did little to contain his erection. Frantically, he tugged at her silk pants. A tangle of legs foiled him, but the pants soon sailed across the room.

Mara’s arousal was a steamy summer rain that surrounded him. Her skin glowed with dew. Fire burned down his arms from her touch, igniting a need in him that couldn’t be denied. His gaze roved over her body, cataloging every dip, every angle, every spot he wanted to kiss. “You smell like home,” he told her, running a rough hand over her hair. “I could lose myself in it. In you.”

He knelt between her thighs and pulled her up. That shirt had to go. He took his time, drinking in the toned muscles of her stomach, the curve of the bottom of her breasts, the tight, dark nipples, and the delicious hollow above her collarbone. He dipped his head and worshiped the bud of her right breast, tasting fresh rain, cocoa butter lotion, and hints of salt. Her back arched, offering him better access. He bit down lightly, scraping his teeth against the sensitive skin. She shuddered and moaned, clutching at his arms to keep herself upright. His teeth nipped at the throbbing pulse of her neck, up to her ear. Cade bit down, and sucked the sensitive lobe between his lips.

“Goddess. Don’t stop that.”

“If I don’t stop, I can’t do this.” He moved the flat of his hand against her mound in a small circle. She gasped and her hips jerked against him. “Still don’t want me to stop?”

Her reply was lost to his greedy mouth on hers, the fierce flare of need spurring him on. They fell together, Cade’s lean body covering Mara’s and his hips and cock replacing the pressure of his hand. The thin barriers between them did little to dull his pleasure. If he didn’t enter her soon, he was going to come in his boxers like a teenager. It had been too long.

She dragged her mouth away. “Cade, inside me. Now.”

He growled and sat back, panting. Sweat glistened on his bare chest. “Protection.”

“I’m on birth control. I haven’t had sex in so long, I don’t have any condoms.” Her cheeks turned a bright red and her lower lip found its way under her teeth.

“Werewolves can’t carry diseases,” Cade said, battling the lust and desperation raging inside of him to force the words from his lips. “When we shift, any illnesses we have go away. We don’t even get colds. But all I can offer you is my word.”

“I trust you,” she said hoarsely. She tugged at his boxers. Her fingers were damp with her element, desperate. Short nails scraped along his hips and dug into his ass.

He ripped away the pale blue panties that covered her to find her reddish triangle of curls beckoning him. “I want to make this last. I want to see you come.” Fastening his rough hands behind her knees, he slid her down on her back. The move brought a fresh waft of Mara’s scent over him. She laughed and trembled when his stubble tickled her thighs but she stopped breathing completely when he tasted her.

Spring rain. Honey. She was an oasis in the desert. He’d never tasted anything so perfect, so life-sustaining. He lapped at the singular spot he knew would send her over the edge. It was almost instantaneous. Her body bucked against his mouth. He drank in her essence, quenching the thirst that had plagued him since he woke up in Mara’s bed.

“Cade, please.”

He couldn’t wait a moment longer. He vaulted up to his knees, grabbed her hips, and brought her to him. Her legs wrapped around him and he was right. He was home. “Mara. God. I won’t last.”

Once. Twice. At the third thrust, he lost himself to his mate.

The scraping at her front door dragged Mara from the best sleep she’d had in weeks. Cade’s arm draped over her waist, and his shaggy hair obscured his forehead. She brushed a lock of it away. Their first coupling had been frantic and desperate. And short. But after they’d each found release, exhaustion had claimed them. First Cade, then Mara. She’d stayed awake for a bit, listening to him breathe, savoring the feel of his arms around her. Having him in her bed soothed her. He slept easily, relaxed in a way he hadn’t been since he shifted back into a man.

A fresh round of scraping drew her attention. Livie. Mara slid out from under Cade’s arm, donned her robe, and crept quietly to the front door. It was barely six a.m. The female wolf padded inside, sniffed the air, and growled.

“What?” Mara asked. Livie sniffed again. She headed for the guest room, looked inside and walked back to Mara’s bedroom doorway. She growled, and used her massive head to gesture for Mara to follow her.

In the guest room, Livie sat on her haunches. Her eyes changed first. They glowed brown, gold, and then narrowed and softened, turning a soft blue with flecks of bourbon. Her pelt bristled. The fur disappeared from her breasts, her belly, and her cheeks. Her dark snout lightened, shrank, and formed a perfect upturned nose. The skin on her face tightened and red scars ran down her cheek, her neck, and her entire left side. Her back broke and a soft whine escaped her lips. Her ribs narrowed. Her pelvis cracked and reformed. When the shift finished, she lay naked and panting on the floor. Mara approached, but Livie glared and held up her hand. The feral sound that rumbled in her chest sounded a lot like her wolf.

“What did I do?” Mara asked.

“I smell him on you,” Livie panted. Her limbs shook as she climbed to her feet and pulled on her maternity jeans and sweatshirt. “He claimed you.”

“I don’t understand.”

Livie stood toe to toe with Mara. “He. Fucked. You. Understand now?”

“We had sex. Yes. I don’t see how that’s any of your business. He’s not allowed to have sex?” Mara wanted to shove Livie back, but her burgeoning belly made that a bad idea. Even if she was a werewolf and could probably take it.

“Allowed? Sure. Has he once in the five years he’s been our alpha? No. And now he’s gone from years of celibacy to mated in the course of a couple of days. With a fucking elemental no less.”

“Hey!” Mara stepped back and tensed, preparing to defend herself.

Livie’s eyes flashed with gold. “I’ve got one question for you. Don’t lie to me.”

Those glowing, wolfish eyes stared her down. Mara had a good four inches and a few years on Livie, but she felt like a child under the wolf’s harsh glare. “What do you want to know?”

“What are your intentions towards him?”

“I . . . Cade is important to me.”

“No shit he’s important to you. But that doesn’t answer my question. I want to know if you’re going to break his heart. Because if you leave him now, that’s what’s going to happen. Werewolves mate for life. You know that, right?” Livie’s stomach growled.

“Come on. Let me get you something to eat.” Mara turned to head to the kitchen, desperate the diffuse the tension, but Livie grabbed her arm. Her fingers dug into Mara’s flesh through the robe.

“No,” she said, her voice a low growl. “Answer me.”

Mara wrenched her arm from Livie’s grip and sat down on the bed. She was going to have a bruise. “Yes. I know. Cade told me. I didn’t lie to him. I can’t promise him a lifetime. Not yet. I don’t even know if my own lifetime is going to be longer than a month. But he matters to me. I can’t explain it. I shouldn’t care this much about him after only a few days, but I do. I won’t hurt him. Not if I can help it.” A tear rolled down her cheek.

Livie sat next to Mara. “He’s falling in love with you.”

A wave of panic washed over Mara. Her palms dampened and she rubbed them on her robe. Her element pulsed against her skin, itching to escape. It seemed now that she’d learned how to work with her element, she couldn’t control it. She forced air into her lungs. Livie wrapped an arm around Mara’s shoulders. Stiffly at first, then with warmth Mara didn’t expect.