A Simple Christmas Wish (13 page)

“Oh?” She blinked. “Sarah did not tell me about a birthday party.”

Rachel just shrugged as she reached for the dishes to set the table. “She didn’t tell me either. Neither did Holly. I think it was supposed to be a surprise. I doubt it will be much of a party. Don’t worry.”

The table seemed quieter than usual, and Rachel could tell that Holly was still out of sorts. After dinner, Holly barely said a word as they helped in the kitchen. If Rachel didn’t know better, she would suspect Holly was getting sick.

“Will you read to me?” Holly asked her when they were done.

“Sure.” Rachel nodded eagerly. “I’d like to.”

“Can we read in Sarah’s room?” Holly asked Lydia.

“
Ja.
It is all right. This time.”

Holly took Rachel’s hand and they went upstairs together. “Sarah said that Aunt Lydia likes children to read downstairs after supper, because it’s family time.”

“Oh,” Rachel said.

Up in Sarah’s room, Holly started to gather up her toys, packing them into the various bags she’d brought them in.

“What are you doing?” Rachel asked suspiciously. Did Holly think she was going to be able to slip away with her, like thieves in the night?

“I want to send my toys home with you,” Holly explained. “Sarah said I can’t have them here, and if you don’t take them with you, Aunt Lydia will just throw them away.”

“Oh.” Rachel nodded. “Okay, I can take them.”

Holly picked up Bunny and looked into his face. “I’ll miss you,” she whispered. “But you’ll be safe at home.”

Rachel wondered how much of this she could possibly take. Eventually, everything, including Bunny and Ivy, were carefully packed and Rachel promised to deliver them to Holly’s room, where they could have a happy reunion with the other toys. What would happen to Holly’s things on down the line remained to be seen, but it wasn’t a question Rachel needed to answer today.

Rachel couldn’t remember a more miserable birthday. If not for her promise to Holly, she would’ve much preferred to be on her way by now. Still, a promise was a promise,
and every moment she had left with Holly seemed precious. To pass the time, she helped Lydia with various chores and packed the car and even wandered out to the barn to pay her respects to Buttercup and her calf.

“Hello,” Benjamin called out as she came into the barn.

She greeted him back, then asked why he was over here.

“Just checking on the new mom,” he told her. “I wanted to see if she was ready to go home yet.”

“Go home?”

“
Ja.
Buttercup actually lives next door. She’s Mamm’s cow. I only brought her over here on Saturday night because I knew she was close to calving and our barn was scheduled for church the next day. I didn’t want her to interrupt their service, and I didn’t want to leave her outside in the bad weather. Daniel said it was fine for her to calve here.”

“Oh, I get it.” She reached over to pet the calf. “Well, I came out here to say good-bye to Buttercup and her baby.”

“Cocoa,” Benjamin supplied.

“Then Holly got her wish.” She smiled sadly.

“How did you know they were leaving?”

“What?” She turned to look at him.

“You said you came out here to tell them good-bye.”

“Oh.” She nodded. “Well, that’s because
I’m
leaving.”

“Really?” His brow creased. “So soon? What about your birthday party?” Now he put his hand over his mouth. “Oops. I wasn’t supposed to let the cat out of the bag.”

“It’s okay. That cat’s long gone now. I promised Holly I wouldn’t go until after the party.”

“I see.” He gave her a half smile. “Well, then, happy birthday.”

“Thanks.” She turned away, suddenly feeling close to tears again. Why couldn’t she be stronger?

“Are you going to be okay?”

“Okay?” she asked in a squeaky voice. “Sure. Why not?”

He put a hand on her shoulder. “I mean leaving Holly behind. I know it’s not easy, but are you going to be okay?”

Without looking at him, she shrugged. “Sure. I’ll be fine.”

“I know how you had hoped this would go differently, Rachel. I’ve seen you with Holly, and I can tell what you have with her is really special. I’m surprised you’re just leaving . . . like this. Are you really okay?”

She turned to look at him with tear-filled eyes. “Let’s just say I’ve had better birthdays, okay? And leave it at that.” She turned away and hurried out of the barn.

Rachel’s afternoon cry probably helped her with keeping up a brave front for her birthday party. By the time Holly led her downstairs to the dining room table, which Sarah and she had decorated with some paper flowers they’d painstakingly made and a few other things, Rachel felt stronger. She was slightly surprised that both Benjamin and his mother were there, but she tried to take everything in stride as they all pretended to be happy eating the lopsided cake that Sarah and Holly had baked last night. Finally, the simple party came to an end and Rachel thanked everyone and announced it was time for her to go. She could see the gratefulness in Lydia’s eyes, and she felt relieved too.

“I want to walk you out to the car,” Holly told her. “And I’ll give you my present out there. Okay?”

“Okay.” Rachel took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “That was a lovely party. Thanks.”

Once they were outside, Holly produced a small, roughly wrapped package. “Here you go.”

Rachel slowly opened it and was surprised and slightly hurt to find the silver locket she’d given Holly on her sixth birthday inside. “You don’t want this anymore?”

Holly’s eyes were filled with tears. “Sarah said we can’t wear jewelry here, Aunt Rachel. It’s not allowed. So I want you to have it.”

Rachel knelt down and gathered Holly in her arms. “I will keep it safe for you.
Always.
” She was fighting to hold back tears. “And I will love you always, Holly. If you ever need anything, you just call me. You understand?”

“But there’s no phone here, remember?”

“Uncle Benjamin has a phone. Out in the barn.”

“Oh.”

“And you know my cell phone number, don’t you?”

Holly recited the number and Rachel kissed her. Worried she wouldn’t be able to keep up this strong front for one more minute, she told Holly she had to go. She waved and blew kisses and slowly drove away, careful lest she drive off the road with her vision blurred by her tears.

12

Rachel only made it to the nearby town on the first leg of her journey, yet it felt like a world away—as if she’d traveled through time. She checked into the small hotel, marveling at the modern conveniences like light switches and a thermostat control, and then fell into bed and cried herself to sleep. The next morning she felt stronger and slightly better and even turned on the TV long enough to hear the local news, which was relatively uneventful. Then, after breakfast at Cathy’s Café, she was just getting ready to leave for Chicago when her cell phone rang. The number looked unfamiliar, but she answered it quickly.

“Rachel?”

“Yes? Who is this?”

“It’s Benjamin Schrock.”

“Oh. Hello, Benjamin. How are you?”

“I’m fine, but Holly isn’t doing too well.”

“Holly?” Panic rushed through her. “What’s wrong with Holly?”

“She fell apart after you left yesterday.”

“Oh no. Poor Holly.”

“I know. Lydia thought she would settle back down after a good night’s sleep, but Holly was still just as upset this morning. She refused to get dressed or go to school.”

“Oh dear.” Rachel’s heart twisted with guilt and grief. “This is all my fault.”

“Your fault? Why?”

“Oh, it’s a long story, but if I’d handled my life differently seven years ago, none of this would be happening now.”

“We all have regrets, Rachel.”

“I know, and that doesn’t help Holly. But why are you calling me? What can I do about this?”

“Holly is begging for you to come back.”

“Come back?” Rachel closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. As badly as she wanted to see Holly, she did not want to return to the Miller farm. It was just too hard.

“Yes. Holly begged Lydia to let you come back long enough to be here for her birthday and Christmas. I think that might help her to make this transition.”

“Maybe . . . but Lydia doesn’t want me there, Benjamin. She’s made it obvious.” Rachel looked across the street at the hotel. “Although, I could just stay here in town. Then I could come out and visit Holly after school, spend some time with her each day until Christmas. Do you think that would work? To help Holly adjust?”

“I think that sounds like a very good plan. And very generous on your part, Rachel.”

“Or selfish. I’ll bet your mother would call it selfish.” She instantly regretted this comment. “And maybe she’s right.”

Fortunately, he just laughed. “
Ja.
That sounds like Mamm.”

Suddenly she was curious about him again. How did he really fit in there? He looked Amish, but he never really sounded or acted particularly Amish. How was that okay with his family? Perhaps if she was going to be around a few more days, she would find out more about him.

“So what should I do now?” she asked. “Come back and spend the whole day with Holly? Or will that just aggravate Lydia?”

“I have an idea. How about if I go tell Holly that if she lets me take her to school, you will be at the house by the time she gets home? That way Lydia can’t hold it against you.”

“Thank you. That sounds perfect.”

“See you later, then?”

“Yes,” she told him. “I would like to see you later.”

“Really?” He sounded surprisingly hopeful.

“Yes. I have a feeling you can shed some light on the Amish thing, Benjamin. That is, if you’re willing to talk openly. There’s a whole lot that I don’t understand about your people.”

“You’re in good company.”

Again, he was being so cryptic and mysterious. Would she ever get him to open up? “There are questions I have about Miri too,” she continued. “Why she left and all that. Would you be willing to fill me in?”

“Happy to. Do you have any plans for lunch?”

“For lunch?”

“
Ja.
I thought I could come into town after I drop Holly at school. I have some errands to run anyway.”

So it was agreed they would meet for lunch at the same café where she’d just had breakfast. In the meantime, she had
some of her own errands to run. If she was going to stick around until Christmas, she would need more than one pair of jeans to wear, and it wouldn’t hurt to have a sturdier pair of boots. On her way out of the café, she asked the waitress if there was a place to shop for clothes in town. “The only place is Anne Marie’s, just two blocks down,” she told her. “But don’t expect much.”

After shopping about an hour, Rachel thought the waitress’s warning was warranted, but she did manage to find a few pieces to extend her very minimalist wardrobe. She wasn’t sure if it was the Amish influence or the limited selection, but everything she picked out was relatively plain and simple. From the black sweater to the gray trousers. Even the dress, which she forced herself to buy out of respect for their culture, was a somber green color, but at least the cut was flattering. Then she went across the street and found a pair of lace-up boots that looked as if they’d stand up to some snow.

Then she returned to the hotel, checked herself back in, and proceeded to unload her car for the second time in less than twenty-four hours. She returned to Cathy’s Café to wait for Benjamin. For some reason she was surprised to see him arriving in the horse-drawn buggy, which he parked in front. It was as if she’d forgotten he was Amish.

She waved to him, and he came in and made himself comfortable in the booth, removing his dark broad-brimmed hat and setting it on the seat beside him. “Holly is happily in school,” he informed her. “Greatly relieved to know that you’re not really gone.”

“Thank you.” She smiled.

After they ordered, she jumped right in. “Excuse me for not beating around the bush, but why did Miri leave?”

“Do you want my opinion or would you like Lydia’s version?”

She considered this. “I’ll go with your opinion.”