A Sinful Calling (14 page)

T
hree days had passed; it was bright and early Tuesday morning, and Dillon and Raven were sitting at the island eating breakfast. Reluctantly, Raven had scrambled some eggs, cooked tiny turkey sausage patties, and made oatmeal. Then she'd toasted a couple of pieces of whole-wheat bread and set a glass pitcher of orange juice on the table. She did this because she knew Dillon liked a full breakfast in the morning, but the only things she ate were a slice of toast and some oatmeal.

Raven spread a large linen napkin across her black sleeveless sheath dress. “I don't mean to complain,” she said, “but I can't wait for the day when we can afford to have a full-time cook, seven days a week, and not just someone on the weekends. Cooking is for the birds.”

Dillon nodded in agreement, but he never looked up from the newspaper he was reading. It didn't bother him that they didn't have a full-time cook, but as a result of what he'd done to Raven on Saturday, he was still in yes-man mode.

“Gosh,” she said. “I don't know why, but I'm already getting nervous.”

“Why?” Dillon asked, still reading his paper. “You never have a problem speaking in front of anyone. You'll do fine.”

“I guess, but I've never had to present myself for something so important. Telling the elders that I've been called to co-pastor is huge. Do you think they'll want me to speak for a long time or just get to the point?”

“I think you can say whatever you have on your heart. Tell them why you want to be co-pastor and why you'd make a good one.”

“What did Levi say?”

Dillon spooned up a helping of oatmeal and looked at her. He wouldn't dare tell her that he hadn't as much as mentioned to Levi that she was coming to the meeting until yesterday. “He was fine with you attending, and I'm sure he's looking forward to hearing you share with them.”

“Is there anything I should mention in particular?”

“Not that I can think of. I mean, I wouldn't go telling them you're planning to start some Christian women's pole-dancing class or anything like that,” he said, laughing.

Raven pursed her lips. “You're being silly, and, baby, I'm trying to be serious. This is important to me.”

“It was only a joke, and it's like I said, just speak from your heart. You've said that God has called you, so I know He'll give you the right words.”

“I'm trusting that He will, but I'm still nervous. What if some of the board members are against the idea right out of the gate? What if they say no without giving me a fair chance?”

“None of those men are like that.”

“What about Elder Freeman? He questions everything. He even questions you, and you founded New Faith.”

“But he's only one man, and majority rules.”

Dillon longed for this whole process to be over with, because he was tired of trying to appease her and pretending he wanted her to be co-pastor.

Raven ate some of her toast. “Maybe I should tell them some of my new ideas.”

Dillon looked up at her again, wondering what she meant. “Like what?”

“Well, first, I think it's time we start having two services. When the membership finally grows to the number you're projecting, we'll need to have two anyway. We could do the first at eight, and I'm more than willing to deliver the sermon for that one.”

Dillon didn't like the idea of her already trying to incorporate something they hadn't done before. He was all for eventually starting a second service, but he would deliver both sermons every Sunday. The only way he wouldn't was if he was ill, out of town, or too exhausted. Still, he told her, “That's a great idea, baby.”

“You wouldn't have a problem with it?” she asked.

“Not at all. That would mean less work for me.”

“That's what I was thinking. We could still work together, though, just so we can make sure we speak on similar subjects on the same days. I was also thinking that since some people work on Sundays or have other obligations, it might be good for us to start having service on Saturday evening also.”

Dillon wasn't interested in holding service on Saturday. To him, this was the one day everyone should be able to enjoy with family and friends. But once again, he agreed with Raven. “I hadn't considered doing anything on Saturday, but I definitely see your point. That's another great idea.”

Raven beamed with excitement. “And I have a few others, too, but I'll wait to tell you about those after the elder board gives me the go-ahead.”

She went on and on for another twenty minutes, and mostly Dillon nodded, said “uh-huh,” or tuned her out altogether. But the good news was that they were just about ready to leave for the church, and once the meeting was over he could begin picking up the pieces—after she learned that the entire board had unanimously voted down her request.

On most days, Dillon and Raven normally arrived at the church at different times, so they drove in separate vehicles. But now they walked side by side down the carpeted hallway. Raven adjusted the single-strand pearls around her neck and stroked her hair back toward her chignon. Then she and Dillon walked into the conference room. Levi and the other eleven elders were already seated, and interestingly enough, Alicia sat at the end of the table. As COO, she rarely attended the weekly elder board meeting. So Dillon knew that Levi had told her about Raven's desire to speak to everyone, and she wanted to be there.

When Dillon closed the door, the chatter among the attendees quieted down, and Dillon took his seat. Normally Levi sat adjacent to him at his right, but today he'd moved down a space, leaving that seat open for Raven.

Levi opened the meeting. “Before we get to the items listed on our weekly agenda, Lady Raven would like to address the board.”

Raven smiled and stood up. “Well, I first want to thank all of you for allowing me this opportunity. This is a pretty big day for me because not even a year ago would I have thought I'd be standing here for the reason I've come. God has called me to minister,” she said, pausing. “I wasn't sure at first, but I've prayed about it for six months, and the more I prayed, the more he revealed everything to me. So not only has he called me into the ministry, he's called me to become my husband's co-pastor.”

Dillon scanned the room, waiting for facial reactions, and of course Elder Freeman didn't let him down. He raised his eyebrows and looked as though Raven had told a funny joke. Dillon waited to see who else might give some indication as to what they thought, but not a single person moved or said a word. At first he was shocked, but then it dawned on him. None of them knew how he felt about his wife becoming co-pastor, and they didn't want to fight against something he might be okay with. They respected him and didn't want to make any unnecessary waves.

Their silence didn't deter Raven, though, and she continued. “I know this likely comes as a huge surprise to all of you, because for a while I was surprised myself. But I finally realized that there was no way I could ignore God's calling on my life. So with that said, what I can promise you is that I will make this ministry my priority, and I will follow God's direction with every decision I need to make. I'll do the same with every sermon I give. The other thing I thought about, too, was that God's calling is in such perfect timing. We're not there yet, but as the church grows larger, we'll be needing a co-pastor. And with my being called now, it means I'll already be in place, and we can focus on the ministry's vision as a whole. We'll be able to do it together.”

Raven paused again, but no one said anything. They didn't as much as turn to look at the person sitting next to them on either side. But the one who openly displayed the overall climate of the room was Alicia. She sat texting on her phone, totally ignoring Raven and making it obvious.

“Anyway,” Raven went on, “that's my news, and my prayer is that you will support me and approve my becoming co-pastor here at New Faith. Thank you so much.”

“Thank you, Lady Raven,” Levi said. “We'll discuss everything you've shared with us, and either I or Pastor Black will get back to you very soon.”

“That'll be fine, and thanks again. I really appreciate it.”

Dillon looked at Raven. “Thanks, baby. I'll see you when we adjourn.”

“I have a lunch meeting, but I'll see you as soon as I get back.”

When Raven left the room, Dillon purposely didn't say a word. Instead, he waited for Levi to handle everything—just like he'd asked him to yesterday.

Levi leaned back in his chair. “Does anyone have any questions?”

Elder Freeman raised his hand. “I don't mean any disrespect to you, Pastor, but I'm not sure it's good for any pastor to work side by side with his spouse. I mean, working here at the same place in different capacities is one thing, but what if the two of you have an argument or a major dispute at home? You'll still have to work together as pastors like nothing's wrong. What will that do for either of you when you're dealing with church business, attending meetings together, or doing anything else church-related that requires the two of you to interact? Won't it be uncomfortable to not be speaking at home but then have to come here pretending? I mean, I'm no expert on any of this, because I've never worked with my wife, but I'm just wondering.”

Normally Dillon would be irritated by the good elder trying to take charge of something, but not today. No, today Dillon
wanted
Elder Freeman, Levi, and anyone else to speak their minds so he didn't have to. That way when he broke the unfortunate news to Raven—that the board was in total disagreement with her becoming co-pastor—she wouldn't be able to blame him.

Levi scanned the room. “Does anyone have anything to add to Elder Freeman's opinion?”

“I tend to agree with him,” Vincent said, and Dillon silently thanked him. Dillon had already told him, yesterday, too, that he didn't want Raven being co-pastor.

“Well, let me just say this,” Levi began, “and, Pastor, please know that I have nothing against your wife, because I love Raven. But I also don't think this is a good idea. I have a number of reasons that I could share, but in the end, I just don't think it's a good move for the church right now. Not when we have so many other items to focus on.”

Dillon was proud of Levi for giving his honest opinion. He'd told Levi yesterday to do just that, because he knew how much the other elders respected him, which also meant that once they learned that Levi didn't agree with Raven being co-pastor, they wouldn't, either.

Alicia locked her hands together and spoke from a COO standpoint. “That's my thinking exactly. Maybe sometime down the road we can reconsider Raven, especially with her saying that God has called her. But I don't even think we can revisit this before the end of next year. The overall business and vision of the church has to be our priority, and we have to stay on track with that. Also, just because I don't think Raven should be named co-pastor doesn't mean she still can't become a minister and even go to seminary school. But again, I think we need to leave things the way they are in terms of who leads the church.”

When Levi asked for final comments and no one else spoke up, he called for an official vote. As expected, everyone said no. Dillon couldn't smile externally, but he smiled on the inside. He would still have to deal with much drama later today, but it wouldn't change anything. He was New Faith's founder and only senior pastor—and he would be from now on.

A
licia walked into her office, and Levi followed behind her. She sat on the edge of her desk. Levi sat down in a chair in front of her.

“Wow,” Alicia said. “Was that awkward or what?”

“Yeah, but it had to be done. And it was unanimous.”

“Well, unanimous or not, Raven isn't going to simply take no for an answer. I could tell from the look on her face that she really wants this. Which means she's going to do everything she can to get Dillon to veto the board's decision. Just wait and see.”

“Maybe,” Levi said. “But trust me, it won't help.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I just am. Your brother doesn't want that, and he'll never allow it.”

“He told you that?”

“Yes, and I'd rather we just leave it at that.”

“Well, I hope you're right, because we don't need these kinds of issues. We have too many other things on our plate.”

“I agree.”

“As a matter of fact, we're meeting with the new marketing firm this afternoon at three.”

“I saw the email reminder this morning,” he said.

“This company comes highly recommended, so I'm hoping they have lots of great ideas that will coincide with and even enhance our new vision.”

“I'm sure they will,” Levi said, looking her up and down and smiling.

“What?” she said.

“I really do love you. You know that?”

“I love you, too, but where is all that coming from?”

“I just felt like saying it. I'm happy, and I'm grateful for the way things have shifted around for us. It's been five days since you took the afternoon off and made dinner for me. It was a huge turning point.”

“I'm glad you're happy, because that's all I've ever wanted,” she said.

“Ever since you talked to your mom, you've seemed so much more at peace.”

“I am,” she said.

Things were good, but Levi still didn't know about the voice or the gun it kept reminding her about. He also didn't know how hard she'd prayed or how she believed Satan was the one who'd been trying to destroy her. Satan had tried to speak to her again on the Fourth of July, right after she'd broken down on the phone with Curtina, but Alicia had ignored him and he'd left her alone. She hadn't heard a voice of any kind for the last three days, and she'd also gotten a lot more sleep. After hearing from her mom, she'd begun to feel a lot less stressed, and she believed that had made a difference for her. She still had regrets and she missed her dad and other two siblings, but mentally, she was so much better. She felt more equipped to deal with her problems, and she didn't feel as sad or depressed.

“So,” Levi said, “did Melanie's doctor suggest someone for you to see?”

“I never called her, but I'm fine now anyway.”

“That may be true, but I still want you to see a specialist.”

“You worry too much.”

“Baby, after what we've been through these last two years, I have reason to. Now, promise me you'll call her.”

“I will. Right after our marketing meeting.”

He got up and kissed her on the lips. “I hope you're telling the truth this time.”

“I told the truth before,” she lied. “I just didn't think I needed to call her anymore. But if you insist.”

“I do.”

“Okay, I hear you.”

“I need to get to my office, but I'll see you this afternoon.”

“Bye, baby.”

“See you,” he said.

Alicia smiled, walked around her desk, and sat down. Then she called her mother.

“Hey, Mom.”

“Hey. I was just getting ready to call you.”

“Really? About what?”

“Just to see how you were doing and also to ask if Thursday will work for you and Levi.”

“For dinner?”

“Yes.”

“I'm sure it will, but I'll ask him. I don't think he has anything going on, though, and I know I don't.”

“Good.”

“So what time did you and Dad James get home last night?”

“Our flight out of New Orleans was a little delayed, so by the time we got to O'Hare, grabbed our luggage, and made it over to the parking garage, it was after ten.”

“That wasn't too bad, but I know what it's like when you're ready to get home and your flight doesn't leave on time.”

“Exactly. No matter how much you enjoy yourself, when it's time to head home, you can't wait to get there.”

“That's for sure.”

“So did you speak to your dad over the holiday weekend?” Tanya said.

“No. Charlotte called me, and she let me talk to Curtina, but that was it. Why do you ask?”

“I spoke to him right before we left, and I told him he should call you. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to get your hopes up.”

“Well, he didn't. Charlotte told me she was going to talk to him, too, but I'm not expecting his feelings to change.”

“You don't think so?”

“No, because let's be honest, Mom, you and Daddy didn't end your relationship with me. I ended it with both of you because you wouldn't accept Levi. So if I were to call Daddy and never talk about Levi or go visit him and never bring Levi with me, he would like nothing more than that. He would be fine. But I wouldn't.”

“I told him that we were all wrong, and that I apologized to you.”

“And what did he say?”

“Not a lot. Mostly he was just quiet. But I know he misses you.”

“I doubt it.”

“He does, and the reason I know that is because he said it. Not talking to you or seeing you is tearing him apart.”

“Then why won't he accept that I have a husband?”

“I don't think it's so much that he doesn't like Levi as a person, because he liked Levi before you met him. Even when Levi was a drug dealer, he gave money to the church and went to your father for advice. But you already know all that.”

“Well, if he doesn't dislike Levi, then why won't he have anything to do with him?”

“Because he somehow believes Levi is the reason Phillip is dead. I felt the same way, but it's like I told him, we were wrong and it's not our place to judge Levi.”

“No, it's not. Especially when I was the one who was married to Phillip, and I was the one who chose to have an affair on him.”

“I'm going to talk to your dad again.”

“I appreciate it, Mom, but I'm not sure it'll help.”

“Let's hope it does.”

“We'll see.”

“Okay, well I need to get going, but text me and let me know what Levi says about dinner.”

“I will. I love you, Mom.”

“I love you more.”

Alicia set her phone on her desk and signed into the email account she posted on her website for readers. She'd been so busy that she hadn't checked it in a while. Every now and then someone expressed their dislike for one of her books or characters, but the majority of the messages were very thoughtful and kind.

She read through a few of them, responding to each one. When she opened another, however, her smile vanished. It was from a reader who'd recently read an old article about Phillip's death.

Alicia sat back in her chair, dumbfounded. But soon her heart began to race, and she felt hot. Then she pictured Phillip's body lying on the ground on that awful night he'd died. She remembered how deranged he'd become and how he'd pointed a loaded gun at her head. She also replayed some of what he'd said to her: “I did everything I could to make you happy. Everything.” “Why couldn't you just be faithful to me? Why did you have to turn into a worthless tramp?”

“Oh God, what did I do?” Alicia said out loud.

You know exactly what you did
, the voice told her.
You slept around on your husband, and now he's dead. He loved you, and he tried to give you everything, but it never mattered. All he wanted was for you to be faithful, but you wanted Levi. You slept with another man and broke Phillip's heart, and now he's gone.

Tears flowed down Alicia's face, and she felt like she was cracking up. But then she remembered what she'd done the last few days and how it had helped her. She closed her eyes. “Satan, I rebuke you in the name of Jesus. I reject and renounce everything about you. Satan, I rebuke you in the name of Jesus. I reject and renounce everything about you. Satan, I rebuke you in the name of Jesus. I reject and renounce everything about you.”

Alicia felt her nerves somewhat settling down, but she wondered when this was going to stop. She'd been doing so well until today, and why on earth would anyone send her such a scathing email? Yes, the situation had been similar, but why was this woman contacting Alicia about her brother's death? Alicia didn't even know these people.

She closed her eyes again. “Lord, please help me. Please give me what I need to overcome this. Please help me find peace. In Jesus's name, Amen.”

When she opened her eyes, she waited for a few minutes, and thankfully, the voice no longer spoke to her. But when another twenty minutes passed, it whispered to her again.

You'll never be happy. Phillip is dead and so are those people that lady wrote to you about. So the only way to fix this is for you to go get your gun and end all of this. But deep down, I think you already know that. You've known it since the very night Phillip died.