A Slow Burning Fire (17 page)

Katie sighed. “Yes, it's true. Yes, we should have broken up a while ago. For some reason, I couldn't quite let you go. You're special to me. You always will be.”

“I loved you.” Had that meant nothing to her? Being special, important to someone, was not the same as true, real love. Why hadn't he seen it before? Why did he have to let himself be so blind?

“I know you loved me. I never could figure out why exactly. Maybe that's why things never got to blossom in the way they should have. I never believed it was possible, not until now at least. Hunter has taught me a lot of things.”

Bryce squeezed his eyes shut, his heart beginning to pound in his chest and an angry pit forming in his stomach. “So you led me on. Why? Just so you could feel good about yourself? All of this time you've been interested, falling for another guy, but stringing me along enough to keep me around. Why? For your own sense of security? I just don't understand it. Are you that selfish that you couldn't have the decency to dump me before hopping into bed with another guy?”

“I didn't think it would last for long,” she said, her voice quavering. In the past, he'd always hated it when she cried. At that moment, he was glad she felt the same kind of pain he did. What she said next floored him. “None of the others went beyond a week or two. This one wasn't supposed to last for that long either.”

“There have been others?” he managed to choke out, shock stiffening his body and making him numb inside and out.

She squeaked out something that resembled “uh huh” but didn't say anything more. Not for a long while that felt like five minutes, but in actuality had only been about thirty seconds. “I was so scared of you hating me. Losing you has been hard, so hard. There are so many things I miss about us, but I don't love you in the way that I should to continue on in a relationship. You were
my
first love, too. If I couldn't make things work with you, after so long, how could I make them work with anyone else? I didn't want to be alone for the rest of my life.”

“So you cheated on me, repeatedly, until you found your security blanket elsewhere?”

“You used me as a crutch just as much as I did you,” she snapped.

“I didn't cheat on you!”

“You might as well have!”

His eyes narrowed as a quiet growl escaped his lips. “What are you talking about?”

“I notice things. Ever since your mom died, you got closer to Arial and further away from me,” she said. “It bothered me a lot that you wouldn't confide in me, but you would her. When she turned eighteen, you started looking at her differently, too. I'm surprised you stayed with me when you could have been with your best friend. You always did tell her more than you ever did me.”

Groaning softly, Bryce ran a hand through his hair. “Like I said, I loved
you
. All that mattered to me for the longest time was your happiness. You never acted like that was good enough, but I kept trying anyway. As for telling her more…” He shook his head, unsure of how true the accusation was. “I didn't want to bother you, and you never wanted to talk to me about any of that… not really. That wasn't anything I resented you for, either, for the record. There are some things that are hard to talk about, and my mom is one of them.”

He didn't even remember talking to Arial too much about the details of his mother's death. Somehow she knew and understood all the same. She had some kind of sixth sense when it came to him. So much of what he felt was regret, whenever he thought about his mother. If he could have done more for her, then maybe the divide in his family wouldn't have been so large. It might have ruined his career, but he could have stayed home and done his share of caring for her. He'd been so focused on getting her money to pay for the bills that he missed out on a lot of crucial moments. When it came time to say goodbye, he needed more memories with her. Nothing would have been enough for him, though.

Katie huffed. “Fine. I can accept that, I guess, but I still notice things. Are you with her now? Is that where you've disappeared to? Because nobody in California has seen or heard anything from either of you. Are you two shacking up now?”

“Excuse me?” He blinked, startled by the outburst. “Yes, we're hanging out. We aren't in California, which is probably why no one has seen us. She invited me back to her hometown so I could get some air after everything
you've
done. If I was back home right now, I'd be getting slammed with phone calls and attacked by photogs. I needed space. The farm is a good place to get it.”

“The farm?” Katie laughed. “This I want to see. You, on a farm.”

He rolled his eyes. “It's not as crazy as you think. As for your other question, no, we aren't shacking up. I respect her as well as love her.”

“So you do love her…”

“You know what I mean,” he mumbled.

She sighed. “I do, but I think you know, too, there's more than just friendship going on.”

Bryce didn't say anything, knowing any words he uttered would be a defensive lie. She was right; there was more going on, but it wasn't as malicious as she was painting it either. The feelings he had for Arial had always been present but buried. He'd only begun entertaining the thought of being with her once they arrived in Ohio.

“I want you to be happy like I am, so it's okay,” Katie added.

“Thank you for being honest with me,” he said.

“Thank you for calling. I needed this, too. I was just too afraid to do it,” Katie said. Her voice was barely audible on the other end.

Slowly, he drew in a deep breath and then exhaled. “Goodbye, Katie.”

Bryce doubted she would understand the true meaning of his words. All he knew for certain was that he had to cut her out of his life for good. Despite the good times they’d had with each other, there was no trust between them. Even as friends, he would have a hard time believing anything she told him. They had truly grown too far apart. He didn't recognize her, and he doubted she recognized him.

He laughed a little.
I barely recognize myself. Who am I kidding?
So much had changed in just a month without her, most of it for the better. The pain of the breakup had been almost unbearable initially, but the time apart had stitched up his broken and bleeding heart. At first, he was afraid that talking to Katie would rip it open again. Oddly, the conversation had the opposite effect. Rather than hurting more, his entire body relaxed. A tension in his chest that had persisted since the breakup was now loosened. He was free of Katie.

“I didn't do right by her, did I?” he asked the empty room. Secretly, he hoped that maybe his mother would appear before him with all of the answers in some kind of ghostly vision. That wasn't reality, however. He was on his own. It was time for him to face all of his mistakes, for better or worse. Katie had done wrong by him when she cheated and lied, but he had done wrong also when he lied to himself about his real feelings.

He shouldn't have stayed, that much was certain. Thinking about how much time he had wasted because of fear made him feel pathetic. It was all too reminiscent of his family. Who was he to tell Arial to go forth boldly and make amends when he was terrified of doing the same?
I have to start doing the right thing.
Calling up his brother and father to apologize for aggravating the distance would be too easy a thing for him to do, however. Somehow he had to make things right. Not only for his mother, but for himself as well. He needed his family, now more than ever.

Hesitantly he pulled out his phone, ready to take a step forward and call, but he chickened out. Instead he sent a text message to his brother, Riley:
I’m sorry.
If his brother wanted him to elaborate, he'd be more than happy to, but he didn't want to push it. His brother was too temperamental.

Restless, Bryce got up from his bed and grabbed his laundry basket. Mrs. Henderlite had a tendency to come into his room while he was out and do it for him during the days. The small pile he had was only the outfit he had worn for the day before changing into something he could sleep in. There wasn't enough to warrant doing a load of laundry, but he could find something else to throw into the washing machine if need be. Between three people, there had to be dirty towels or something.

Sure enough, in a nearby hamper were some dirty jeans and fuzzy floor mats he stuck into the wash with the rest of his clothes. The distraction was nice to have. Unfortunately for him, it was also short lived.

“Bryce, honey, why are you doing the wash so late?” Mrs. Henderlite asked, entering the room.

He shrugged. “Just felt like it.”

Mrs. Henderlite seemed to have a good read on him, because she frowned. No matter how many times he'd tried to pretend everything was fine, she was always able to see through it when he wasn't. Which didn't happen often. Ohio generally left him as a happy-go-lucky person. She'd barely known him for a month, and he could already tell the two of them would have a lifelong relationship. In a lot of ways, she and her husband were like his parents before cancer had destroyed his family. His heart sank a little. He didn't want a replacement family. Would it be possible for him to adopt them but also keep his own?

“Something is troubling you,” Mrs. Henderlite said.

“Yeah,” he admitted.

She walked up to him and gave him the biggest hug he'd gotten in a long time. Her small frame wrapped around his, and she gave him a small kiss on the cheek. “Come and eat the dinner you skipped earlier and tell me all about it.”

“Okay,” he said, half smiling.

Part of him wanted to fight her on it, but he knew he'd never win. Not only was his stomach grumbling, but he got the feeling she was more stubborn and wouldn't back down. It was his own fault. He'd opted out of eating dinner and gone straight to his room to focus on the tabloid article. He’d also had to kill time until he could call Katie. She was still in Hawaii and several hours behind him. As mad as he was at her, he didn't want to inconvenience her while she was working either. At the time, his appetite had been gone. With the dust beginning to settle, he knew he needed to eat something. Some wisdom might be helpful to him as well.

Bryce followed her into the kitchen as soon as he got the laundry going and sat down at the table. She fixed him a plate of slow-cooked barbecued ribs and mashed potatoes. Then she took a seat across from him and didn't say a word. It took him a moment to realize she was waiting for him to begin.

“Seven years ago, my mom died from cancer,” he said. And then he told her everything: his family, his relationship with Katie, and, of course, Arial.

Chapter Fifteen

Upstairs in the attic, Arial played her guitar, venting all of her feelings into her music. The words weren't coming to mind, but the tune was vivid. Creating music was her therapy. The vast majority of her songs unleashed her insecurities about not being good enough to those she cared for most, or getting caught up in the fluster of the Los Angeles way of life. Hopefully, some of those songs would make it onto her album. She wanted the world to see just how hard she tried to maintain her integrity. She wanted her family to see it, too.

A couple of songs she’d written about her past relationships as well, and there was a song or two about Bryce. One of which she should have been working on then and putting the final touches on, but her mind couldn't focus on finalizing their duet for the talent show. Too much anger was rushing through her veins.

How could Katie do such a thing to him? That was assuming the rumor of her cheating on him was true, of course, but Arial wasn't blind. She'd seen the flirtatious texts Katie would send to the hunky co-stars from her films. Even if it had started as innocent fun, that kind of behavior almost always led to a downward spiral, ending in an affair. The two young women had been friends once upon a time. All three of them had been close back in the day.

When Arial was a teenager, she’d admired Katie so much. The closer they’d become, the more Arial had realized Katie's actions were more selfish than moral. She’d enjoyed Katie's company and had shared a few secrets with her even, but the young woman had become the kind of Hollywood gal Arial did not want to be. Katie was a prime example of all the stereotypes. Still, the two had gotten along well enough. Arial had plenty of friends who didn't live the kind of life she would choose. In a lot of ways, Katie's betrayal of Bryce felt like a betrayal of Arial as well. She was angry for him. He deserved so much better.

“I could rip out all of her hair,” Arial sang while she played her guitar.

A soft cough brought Arial out of her creative zone. She had to suppress a groan. In the doorway of her attic hideaway was Caroline. Of all the people who had to come up and check on her, it had to be the sister who hated her guts.

“What is with all of the angry strummin'?” Caroline asked. “I listened to it all last night and now all day again today.”

“Just working on a song,” Arial said and put her guitar down next to her.

“It's kind of loud.”

Arial’s jaw tightened briefly. “I'll try to be more aware of my volume, then.”

Caroline didn't move from her spot. Arial could feel a lecture coming. Her sister folded her arms in front of her. “I heard you are going to be singing in the talent show next week with Bryce.”

“Mom tell you?”

“No, I saw it on a poster outside. On several posters, actually. Billy said Kevin's daddy, Mr. Brewster, got a call from Bryce himself, askin' if it was okay to be a special guest. You remember Kevin's family owns the music shop, right? The one you two seem to visit regularly every time you're in town.” Caroline's eyebrow rose.

Arial couldn't hold her tongue any longer. “You say that like it's a bad thing. We go there a lot because Bryce is a music geek, and he's finding a lot of stuff he enjoys. It was his idea anyway to sing in the talent show. I didn't realize it would be all over town already. We only just decided to do this yesterday.”

“Oh, you better believe it's all over town by now. As soon as he got the call, Mr. Brewster printed off brand new posters and hung them up everywhere. He even called the news.”