A Soldier's Return (5 page)

“Carrie, are you going home because of me?”

“No. Yesterday was such a long day, and I’ve made plans for this evening, so I’m going to go home and have a bubble bath.”

She got her purse out of the desk drawer and waved goodbye. If she’d had any more excuses, she’d have used them. But she was all out. Fighting tears that suddenly appeared in her eyes for no reason at all, she hurried to her car.

Better to get away from the handsome man she’d dreamed about for months now. It was so tempting to throw herself into his strong arms. But that was her dream, not reality. She had to fight those dreams.

When she reached her apartment, she sat down on the couch, unsure what to do with herself. Finally she pulled out the paper and looked at the movies playing. She chose a romantic comedy showing near her apartment. That was how she would spend her evening.

Anything to escape reality. The Jim Barlow of her dreams was a wonderful, accommodating man. The real
Jim Barlow was a stubborn, difficult man. He was intruding into her world, making her life unsettled. But while she was still fascinated with him, he wanted her to keep her distance.

She was being torn apart by her unreasonable emotions, longing to feel his arms around her, but reading his resistance in his eyes.

Maybe the film she chose would relieve her frustration.

P
ER HIS WIFE’S
instructions, via the phone, Will asked Jim to come to dinner. He immediately said no.

“You have other plans?” Will asked.

“No, but I ate dinner at your house last night.”

“And it was so bad you can’t bring yourself to come again?” Will asked, grinning.

“Of course it wasn’t. Betty cooked it,” Jim said, laughing in response. He knew what Will was doing. “You’re not going to shame me into accepting. Besides, I need to look for a place to live. You yourself said it was too expensive to live in the hotel.”

“Well, yeah, but Vivian and Vanessa might know of someplace nearby. Besides, Rachel and J.D. are leaving to go back home in the morning. They’d really like to see you again.”

Jim stared at the man being so reasonable. Finally he said, “Okay, I’ll come tonight, but I can’t get in the habit of eating Betty’s cooking every night. I’d double my weight if I did.”

“I’ll warn Vivian that it can’t be a constant thing. Okay?”

Jim nodded. “Is Carrie coming?” He held his breath,
waiting for Will’s assurance that Carrie would be present. No matter how he wanted to deny it, he was attracted to Carrie Rand. She impressed him with her strength, but at the same time, he was bowled over by her femininity. By her sexy curves and shapely legs. No matter how much he tried telling himself it was because he was in the military too long and had spent endless days and nights with men, he knew that was just an excuse. It wasn’t any woman who attracted him. It was Carrie.

His disappointment was palpable when Will told him she wouldn’t be there tonight.

“Does she usually turn down your invitations?”

“On occasion. She’s allowed to have a life, Jim.”

Jim thought about that idea as they walked down to their cars. “So Carrie has a…significant other?”

“Not that I know of,” Will replied.

“So if you called her and said I wasn’t coming, would she change her mind?”

Will stopped and faced Jim. “No, I don’t think so. Carrie wants things to work out for you. There may be a slight adjustment period, but it will work out.” He clapped Jim on the back. “Put Carrie out of your mind and come enjoy your family.”

J
IM WAS TRYING
to do as Will had suggested, but as soon as he entered the Greenfield house, Vivian asked, “Where’s Carrie?”

Will frowned. “She told me to tell you she said she had plans.” He bent down to kiss his wife and launched right into the discussion Jim dreaded.

“By the way, Jim is looking for an apartment. Do you know of any in the area that have vacancies?”

Vivian stared at him with her big does eyes. “I was hoping you’d move here, Jim.”

He slowly shook his head. “I appreciate the offer, Vivian, but I’m used to being independent. I’d appreciate any recommendations you might have.”

“Well, we’d want it to be somewhere close. I’m not sure—”

Vanessa’s entrance interrupted their discussion. “Jim! I wasn’t sure Mom was telling the truth until now. I’m so glad you’re here! It brightens my day—and it needs brightening. I took a test today that I’m sure I failed!”

Jim frowned, concern in his eyes.

To his surprise, Vivian laughed. “You’ll have to get used to Vanessa’s dramatics. She probably got an A on it. She always assures me she did horribly, then she brings home a good grade.”

Jim looked at Vanessa. “Is that true?”

She gave a rueful grin and shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe.”

“You can’t do that to me. My heart can’t take it,” Jim said.

Vanessa looked stricken. “I didn’t mean to upset you!”

“No, of course,” Jim said, and, to even his surprise, he put an arm around Vanessa and hugged her. “I just want the best for my sisters, that’s all.”

“Wow,” Vanessa said in surprise. “He’s going to be an even tougher taskmaster than you, Mom.”

“Good,” Vivian said with a smile.

Vanessa looked at Jim. “Even when I was little, Mom always said if I did my best, it was okay. It always made me feel guilty if I hadn’t.”

“She’s a smart lady.” Jim smiled at Vivian.

“Well, now that we’ve got that settled, maybe Vanessa knows of some apartments,” Vivian suggested.

“For whom?” Vanessa asked.

“For me, honey,” Jim said. He raised a hand when Vanessa opened her mouth to protest. “I can’t live here. I’m used to taking care of myself. So, do you know of any apartments in the area?”

A huge smile lit up Vanessa’s face. “Actually, I do know of an apartment. And if you move into it, you’ll have Carrie as your neighbor!”

It wasn’t Jim’s fault.

Since last night Carrie had been telling herself those words over and over again. And she believed them. She knew whose fault it was that she’d eaten a hot dog at the theater and watched a silly movie, instead of dining on one of Betty’s wonderful dinners and enjoying good conversation.

It was her fault.

She needed to stop reacting to Jim as if he were a long-lost lover instead of a stranger. When she’d gone to bed, she’d tossed and turned, trying to deal with her dreams and reality. She should’ve known better.

Promising herself that tomorrow would be different, she’d finally drifted off to sleep around one o’clock. Then she’d overslept and had to scramble to get to work by nine.

To her surprise, she was the first to arrive. She checked her desk to be sure everything was in its correct place. Then she chastised herself for being so possessive.

She made a fresh pot of coffee for Will and Jim, and
got a soft drink out of the small refrigerator. She hadn’t had time for breakfast this morning.

The phone rang and she slipped into her chair to answer it. “Greenfield and Associates.”

Will had decided on that name because it made his office sound bigger than it was.

“Oh, yes, Mr. Michaels. How may I help you?”

She twisted her chair around to turn on her computer as she listened to the man’s complaints.

“Yes, I’m so sorry. We’ve had a particularly heavy load the past couple of weeks, but Will has added a new associate. I think he’ll be terrific at helping lower the wait time.”

After a pause, she said, “He’s more than competent. He just got out of the marines and he’s quite capable of handling any situation. His name? James Barlow.

“Yes, as soon as he’s had a chance to study your files, I’ll have him call on you so you can meet him. I think you’ll be impressed.” Another pause. “Yes, Mr. Michaels, I appreciate your calling. Goodbye.”

“Nicely done, Carrie,” Will said, standing in the doorway, Jim beside him.

Carrie recovered quickly. “Thank you. Jim, Mr. Michaels is with Liberty Insurance, one of our most important customers. He’d like to take you to lunch as soon as you’ve looked over his files.” After a quick glance at Jim, she trained her eyes on some of the files on her desk. Pulling six of them out of the pile, she offered them to Jim. “I’m sure Will won’t mind if you use one of the chairs in his office to look them over. And the coffee is ready.”

Will added his consent, then said to Carrie, “I bought doughnuts. Bring your drink and come into my office.”

Carrie would’ve preferred to take a pastry and return to her desk, but she’d joined Will too many times for him to accept that she was too busy.

Acting on her resolution from last night, she squared her shoulders and picked up her drink. Then she followed the two men to Will’s office.

“We need to bring you up to date on some changes,” Will said as he sat down.

Carrie’s stomach heaved and she braced herself. He might have decided that she had to go. Jim was certainly a better risk than she because he was a big man.

“We decided to go ahead and order another desk and computer and whatever else is necessary for another investigator. We’ll need it whether it’s Jim or someone else, so it seemed silly to wait.”

Carrie swallowed carefully. “I agree.”

She could feel Jim’s gaze on her, but she stared at Will, waiting to see what else he had to say.

“We ordered the desk this morning and paid a bonus to get it delivered this afternoon.”

“Oh, good.”

Will smiled at Jim. “See? I told you Carrie wouldn’t be upset. Now, I think you and Jim should go get all the supplies he’ll need, including some filing cabinets.”

“I could do that by myself, and Jim could use my computer while I’m gone,” she suggested, careful to keep the panic out of her voice.

“No. He may have some preferences that we don’t know about,” Will said with a grin. “I’m going to work
on my computer while you’re gone. Then I’ll go out this afternoon when you’re here to accept delivery on the desk and anything else you’ve bought.”

“All right. Just let me make a couple of calls. Then I’ll be ready to go.” With a smile, she took her soft drink back to her desk, without ever having touched a doughnut.

Good thing. Having to play the role of disinterested person where Jim was concerned made her stomach a little queasy.

W
ILL LOOKED AT
J
IM
, a smile of pride on his face. “See? I told you it was your imagination. She was selling you to Michaels when we came in. And she didn’t object at all to our plans.”

“And you think she was just having an off day yesterday?”

“Sure. We all have one every once in a while, especially ladies. But don’t tell Vivian I said that.”

“No, I won’t. Nor Carrie.”

“Right,” Will agreed with a big grin. “You’re catching on.”

“We have women in the military now, too, Will.”

“Oh, I guess so. Okay, here’s the company credit card. Give it to Carrie.”

“What limit do I have?”

“Get what you need. If you’re worried about the price, ask Carrie. She handles everything for the office. That’s why I want her to go with you. Bring back what you can carry and get the rest of it delivered today. Pay extra if you have to.”

“Okay. By the way, Carrie didn’t get a doughnut. Mind if I take one to her?”

“Of course you can. Take one for yourself, too.”

“Nope. I had breakfast. I don’t want to overdo it.” Jim took a napkin and picked up a doughnut for Carrie. Then he went back to the outer office.

Carrie was on the phone, and he set the treat in front of her without a word. Then he leaned against the wall and scanned the files she’d given him, waiting for her to finish her calls.

She hung up the phone and picked up the doughnut. “Thanks, Jim. I’m a little hungry.”

“Too bad you don’t live with Will and Vivian. Betty would feed you.”

“Yes, she would,” Carrie said smoothly, not adding that she’d had many a breakfast at Vanessa’s house.

Jim also handed her the credit card. “Will said to give this to you. He said you’d know what we could afford.”

“Yes. Are you ready?”

Jim nodded, keeping an eye on Carrie’s face. He still didn’t believe she wanted him there. “Shall we use my rental?”

“No, I’d prefer to take my car.”

He followed her out of the office to the parking lot.

“Did you have fun last evening?” he asked casually.

“Yes, thank you.” Neither her tone nor her facial expression gave him any clue as to what she’d done with her evening.

“Vanessa was upset that you weren’t there.”

Carrie got behind the wheel of her little car before
she answered. “I guess that means I’ve been going over to their house too often.”

“Why would you say that?” His knees were against the dashboard. As soon as he was sure he would have a job, he was going to buy a car. One big enough for him.

“I’ve been worrying about that lately. It’s so easy to accept. Vivian and Vanessa are so welcoming, and Betty acts like you’re two-timing her if you eat anywhere else.”

“So what’s the problem? They obviously enjoy your company.”

“But I never invite them to my apartment for dinner. So I’m sponging off them.” She turned on her blinker and pulled into the parking lot of a busy office-products store.

Jim got out, glad to stretch his legs. “I kind of thought you were avoiding me.”

After one quick look his way, she started walking toward the store. “Of course not.”

“I got the impression yesterday that you didn’t want me here,” he persisted, catching up with her so he could see her face.

She gave him a smile and a shrug. “I’m afraid I don’t do change well. I’ll adjust. You’re going to be quite a help to us. In fact, if I don’t mind my p’s and q’s, Will may shove me out the door.”

“Is that what you’re worried about?” he said, catching her by the arm. Feeling her tense up, he removed his hand. “You know better than that, don’t you?”

“Yes. It was just a bad joke.” She entered the store and grabbed a cart, immediately discussing supplies. For almost an hour, she kept the subject on business.

Jim had to admit he wouldn’t have done the shopping as thoroughly or as efficiently without her. Soon she had a salesman walking the aisles with her. When they checked out, she didn’t even bat an eye at the total.

The smaller items were in two big sacks and Jim picked up both of them. The rest would be delivered.

“I can carry one of those,” Carrie protested.

“You’ve done all the work so far. This is the least I can do.”

After they loaded the sacks into the backseat and got in the car, he said, “I can see why you’re so valuable to Will. That shopping trip was impressive.”

“Yes, it’s a woman thing.”

Jim eyed her sharply. “I wasn’t implying that you couldn’t do the rest of your job. I would imagine you’d be much better at certain deceits than me.”

“Yes, women lie better than men, don’t they?”

“Damn it! I was trying to pay you a compliment, not insult you.”

She said nothing.

“I swear I didn’t have this much difficulty getting along in the military with either men or women. What’s the problem?”

She stopped at a red light. “I’m sorry, Jim. I’m not used to—to sharing. I’ll try to be more agreeable.”

She spoke in clipped tones, no emotion in her voice.

Jim couldn’t figure out what the problem was. But he warned himself to be on his toes.

When they got back to the office, Jim spent half an hour organizing the supplies. He put them in a pile on the floor to await his desk.

Around noon, Vanessa arrived. “Carrie, how about lunch?”

“I’d love to, Vanessa, but someone has to stay here to await Jim’s desk and supplies deliveries. Maybe another day,” she added with a smile.

Instead of accepting her excuse, Vanessa stepped to Will’s desk. “Can you and Jim stay here while Carrie and I go to lunch? Then she’ll come back and wait for the deliveries while you two go?”

“Sure, that’s fine with me.” Will called out, “Is that okay with you, Jim?”

He agreed to the plan.

“Good!” Vanessa exclaimed. “Because I want to hear all about Carrie’s new boyfriend!”

Jim stared at Carrie and wished he was going with them. He’d like to know that information, too!

T
HOUGH SHE WAS
practically busting, Carrie said nothing until they reached Vanessa’s Honda.

“I can’t believe you said that!”

“What?” Vanessa asked, surprise on her face.

“That I had a new boyfriend!”

They got in the car before Vanessa replied. “Wasn’t that why you didn’t come to dinner last night?”

“No! I never said such a thing.”

“You said you had other plans, didn’t you?”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean a boyfriend,” Carrie said, wishing she’d never said anything because now she knew what the next question would be.

“So what were your plans?”

Since finding each other again, Carrie and Vanessa
didn’t keep secrets. Now Carrie wished that wasn’t true. After all, the problem was Jim—and he was Vanessa’s beloved big brother.

“I didn’t think I should intrude on a family dinner,” Carrie said stiffly, staring straight ahead.

Vanessa stared at her, not bothering to start the car. “What? But you come to family dinners all the time.”

“I think I’ve been sponging off of your family too much, Vanessa. I never return the favor.”

“Carrie, you can’t expect to invite the entire family over to your apartment. Where would you put everyone?”

“I know I can’t do that. But you could come over to eat once in a while.”

“We had pizza at your place last week, didn’t we?”

“Yes, but I didn’t fix anything.”

Vanessa said on a laugh, “I don’t fix anything when you come over. Maybe you should invite Betty and Peter over instead of me.”

Carrie gave her friend a cool look. “Maybe I should.”

Vanessa turned toward her, her lips caught between her teeth, as if she was holding back the words. Finally she asked in a somber voice, “What’s gotten into you? Are you trying to get rid of me?”

“No, never! You’re very important to me, Vanessa, but—” She ran a trembling hand through her hair. “I don’t know. Everything has changed.”

“What’s changed, Carrie?”

“You have a huge family now, Vanessa. You don’t need me.” It pained her just to say the words.

“There will always be room for you in my family no matter how big it grows, Carrie.”

Her eyes filling with tears, Carrie looked out the car window. Her throat felt so tight suddenly, she couldn’t speak, though Vanessa called to her.

Finally Vanessa touched her arm, and Carrie turned to her. She could see the hurt in her friend’s eyes as she said, “I love having my sisters. And Jim coming home is wonderful. But none of them replaces you. The twins are both married, and I don’t think Jim will be interested in hanging out with me. But you…you know me—” she gave a forced grin “—and you love me anyway. Our friendship is so important to me.”

“It’s important to me, too, but I don’t want to feel like I’m intruding.” As much as she didn’t want to hurt Vanessa, Carrie knew she had to carry through her decision. There was nothing left to say except the blunt truth. “We can still do things together, but I won’t be coming to any more family gatherings.” She tried to discreetly wipe away her tears, but Vanessa reached out and hugged her.

Through her own tears, she said, “Whatever you say. But don’t think I’m going to tell Mom. You’ll have to do that yourself.”

Carrie nodded. “I’ll find a way to explain it.”

After another hug, Vanessa started the car, and Carrie turned to face the road.

She was determined not to feel sorry for herself. It was her decision, and she felt it was the right one. She’d spent too much time in a fantasy land. It was time she ventured out into the real world.

W
ILL ASKED LATER
, when he and Jim went to lunch, “So you and Carrie got along all right this morning?”

“We managed,” Jim said, staring into his Coke. “I think I’ve figured out the problem. She feels threatened because I’m a man. She’s afraid you won’t need her anymore.”