A Solitary Heart (25 page)

claws. He shook her, not once or consciously or hard, but in a fine

continuous tremor, and what it communicated to her in terms of his

depth of emotion and endurance was a corner-stone revelation. She

stared, transfixed, at his face.

'Yes,' said Matthew starkly. 'As you had me over the weekend.

Giddy, aroused, terrified, amazed, humbled. In hell. As you had me

from the very first moment I laid eyes on you. I came to your party

with everything planned, how I would approach you, what I would

say. It was to be such a reasonable conversation. I stood on your back

porch, and looked across the yard at you, and everything sane and

sensible blew up in my head. You were the most desirable woman I

had ever seen, and you were, as I thought then, engaged to be married

to my brother. God in heaven, you belonged to another man, and I

went crazy. I was terrified that I might have come into your life too

late.'

'Matthew——' she whispered, in awe and pity. She raised her hands

to stroke his transformed expression, to check the terrible beauty of

his words, but he was ungovernable.

'I love you,' he said from the back of his throat. 'I love you in a way

that has redefined the course of my life. I love you more than

anything else in the world, as if I've never known the meaning of the

word before—I couldn't stay away from you any more than I could

stop breathing. I thought the ache I felt for you was like nothing I'd

ever experienced, but it was nothing compared to the agony I went

through when I realised you might be in danger yourself, while I was

stuck in a soulless airport three thousand miles away. I only hope to

God I never have to go through that again.'

'Stop,' she breathed, touching him, straining towards him. 'Oh,

darling, stop.'

His introspective gaze focused on her with sharp, ravenous clarity.

'Never,' he told her quietly.

If before she thought she was starving, now her heart felt full to

bursting. She closed her eyes and exclaimed, 'You've made me so

angry. I've never been so furious as I have been with you. You shot

straight through all my defences as if they never existed, and from

that first moment onwards I seemed to spend every waking moment

thinking of you, swearing at you, yearning for you, denying you. I

thought I knew what I wanted out of life, and I was so smug and self-

satisfied with my plans—then you came along and, with hardly any

effort at all, you showed me how all those things I wanted— stability,

a proper home and family—were only reflections of the love I felt for

you.'

'That wasn't effortless,' said Matthew with a twisted smile, and a

new-born light in his eyes that warmed her to the depths of her soul.

'I worked as I've never worked before, trying to convince you in as

many ways as I possibly could how good we could be for each other.

I set out to seduce you, not just physically, but intellectually and

emotionally as well, holding my breath every time you backed away,

and wincing inside every time I put my foot wrong. I felt so desperate

after the first few days, I was reduced to inviting all your friends to

my place for the weekend, and, when it looked as if you were the

only one who wasn't coming, I felt a king-sized fool.'

'You never showed it,' she said drily. 'You were so cool, so

contained.'

He tilted back her chin and let his intent, heavy-lidded gaze fall to her

lips. 'Oh, no?' he murmured. 'I seem to recall a certain scene played

in a restaurant parking lot, and the follow-up scenario in your

kitchen. I couldn't keep my hands off you! I was a moth to a flame,

circling you, beating against you, singeing my wings and dying from

it.'

A dark wave of red colour stained the pale skin covering her

cheekbones as a flicker of remembered passion licked through her

body. He laughed, a slumbrous, smoky, satisfied sound.

She looked about them, embarrassed for the exposure and

vulnerability she felt, but nobody paid them any attention. Emotional

scenes in a hospital were everyday occurrences, and Malcolm, bless

his soul, had disappeared discreetly some time ago.

Matt had sobered at once, and with a dark, sombre look he said

quietly, 'Last Saturday, I felt on top of the world. You came to me,

and kissed me, and set my soul on fire. With every reason to hope, I

went to talk to Joshua, and he pulled the rug out from underneath my

feet. Sian, I can never tell you how sorry I am for those things I said

to you. I was out of control, and wild with the thought that you

weren't as caught up with me as I was with you. I regretted it almost

immediately, but I couldn't snatch the words out of the air. They

hung there, between us, and then, when you'd confessed how close

you had come to loving me, I knew that I'd cut my own throat with

my wilful anger.'

'But I didn't just come close,' she said, her green eyes wide and fixed

on his. 'I did love you, and I do love you. I never needed anyone as

much as I needed you in these last few days, and I've been so lonely

and scared -'

'Oh, darling,' he groaned, and bent to kiss her with slow fervency,

and the calibre of feeling in his caress was so deep that it swept away

any remaining cobweb of doubt in her mind.

'I'm so glad you came!' she whispered against his warm mouth.

He sighed, and drank her words in with open lips. 'I'll always come.

I'll always be here right beside you, always. No matter what.'

'But what about your work?' she asked, pulling back to stare at him

worriedly. 'You've got so many people depending on you, I'll

understand if you have to go back. I'm just happy you managed to

come at all, and—well, there's no telling how long I'll have to stay.'

It hurt her deeply to say it: to admit in words that Devin's condition

was so unknown, to free Matthew from any sense of obligation when

all she< wanted to do was to cling shamelessly and beg him to stay.

Matt's head raised and he said shortly, with a savage frown, 'You

must be joking. Do you honestly think I'd leave, with your father in

hospital, and God knows what kind of danger you might be in?'

'But there isn't any danger!' she exclaimed. 'Honestly.'

He looked at her in frank disbelief and replied coolly, 'Your father's

friend certainly thought otherwise.'

Sian waved an impatient hand. 'Malcolm's been under a lot of strain.

He blames himself for what happened to my father, but the people

responsible are already in gaol. You don't have to worry about me.'

'If it's all right with you,' he said drily, 'I think I'll find that out for

myself, thank you very much. And as far as my work is concerned,

there's nothing I left that can't be taken care of when I get back. No,

Sian—you can't put up any more barriers between us. Life's too short

for that. By the grace of God, and despite our own idiotic behaviour,

we've managed to find each other, and we'll just have to rearrange

our own lives accordingly, because now that I've got you, I'm not

going to let go again. Ever. You're looking in the face of a lifetime

sentence, so tough luck.'

'I'm just going to have to learn how to handle it?' she asked, her eyes

alight with memory and laughter.

His impatience melted away into a sexy grin. 'You got it.'

'Lassie!' Malcolm's urgent shout from down the corridor made her

jump violently, and stark fear bleached away all signs of the growing

happiness that had sweetened her face. She and Matt looked at each

other for one grim moment, then she turned and nearly fell to the

floor in weak relief at the sight of the beaming smile on Malcolm's

face. 'It's yer da—he's awake and asking for you!'

'Matt!' she turned to him with a smile of such blinding loveliness that

his breath caught in his throat.

He whirled her around and grabbed hold of her hand. 'Come on!'

They ran swiftly through the corridors, and people turned to look,

and nurses frowned, but nothing could eclipse the huge perfection of

the joy that washed over her in waves so tangible that it was nearly

visible light.

She pointed the direction out to Matt, and he thrust open the door for

her to rush through. At the sight of Devin's clear, lucid gaze, she

smiled and cried at once. She came up to his bedside to take his hand

tenderly, and she said, 'Oh, Daddy. I've been so worried. How do you

feel?'

'Sure, and how else do you expect me to feel?' said Devin with a

weak grin, as his eyes lit up with love. 'Like I've lost an argument

with a brick, of course. And don't you go scolding me, mind. I know

I've been a stubborn fool.'

'I'll scold you if I want. Don't you ever, ever do that to me again!' she

said, but gently, as she stroked his hand.

'No, lass,' he said meekly, then he caught sight of Matt standing

silently behind her. 'What's this? And here you've been telling me

there's no man in your life.'

'There is now,' said Matt as she opened her mouth. His hand settled

on to her shoulder.

'Sure, and now he'll be expecting me to play the stern father, and here

I am with my head wrapped up like an Indian prince,' said Devin

with a dubious scowl, to which she laughed. 'And just what are your

intentions towards the most beautiful lassie you're ever likely to see,

me young lad?'

'Strictly honourable,' said Matthew, who then added, 'And far too

explicit to be telling her father on his sickbed.'

At that, he surprised Devin into laughing so hard that Sian grew

alarmed and leaned over him. 'Aye, darling,' said her father

complacently when he could catch his breath. 'It looks like you've

caught yourself a live one.'

Matt's firm fingers tightened on her shoulder, running threads of

sensual warmth and promise throughout her body, and a vital,

unspoken message of commitment. Of course he would always be

there. Hadn't he wooed her from a different State and chased her

across two countries and an ocean? She said with deceptive placidity,

while a twinkle was born in her eye, 'Why, yes.'

She was thinking of a story her father had once told her, about the

devil and an Irishman.