A Song For Us (Fallen Tuesday Book Two) (A Brothers of Rock Novel) (16 page)

“Music will do that.”

“It’s not the music.”

“Then what…”

The door to the studio opened with
the laughter of voices.

Fallen Tuesday was here.

Gray felt his heart swell as the
moment passed. What was Carina about to admit to him? If it was what he
thought, then he would admit it right back to her. The way he felt about her
wasn’t just because of the music or because she had flown from Liering to spend
time with him.

This was feeling very real.

Gray met with the band and wasted
no time in introducing the new song to them.

“Wait, you sang?” Mack asked with a
grin.

“I did,” Gray said. “I’m nothing
compared to Luke, but I wanted to get the idea across.”

“And this is yours, Carina?” Luke
asked.

Carina nodded. “Yes.”

“You’re a songwriter?”

“I…”

“She is,” Gray said. “I think we
can get a lot from her. At the very least we can let Frank know about her so he
could throw some material to the recording company, right?”

Carina shot a look at him. “What?”

Carina just smiled and winked.

He played the song for the band and
they were in agreement of two things. First, Gray should seriously stick to
guitar playing and not singing. Second, the song would be perfect on the new
Fallen Tuesday album.

Gray explained his image of the
live shows with the song. The piano. The vocals. The band then began to think
of ways to bring in other instruments. Mack sitting on a milk crate with his
drumsticks tapping the sides, Trent playing bass during the chorus to add more
life. Jake even thought of maybe using a nylon string guitar as backing.

It came together fast as Gray stood
with his arm around Carina. He wasn’t sure what he loved more - watching the
band take an idea and run with it or the look on Carina’s face as she watched
her song take form.

Gray considered what his life
without music would look like. He had an addict for a brother, who was still in
a coma and would likely pass away sooner than later, and he had a mother who
walked the thin line of addiction. That was it. That’s all he had. Even still,
he would take that just to see the same look on Carina’s face over and over as she
fielded questions from the band.

An hour later, Fallen Tuesday had
taken over the studio, but during their writing session, not much got done.
Working day after day with such high energy had taken its toll creatively. No
one’s focus was really on new material. The look in Mack’s eyes told Gray he
had a long night wherever he had crashed the evening before. Luke couldn't stop
talking about Amy and Jake and Trent seemed to be staring daggers at each
other. Gray wondered what exactly was happening between them. The session ended
with only a handful of riffs and some solid ideas to chase down. They made a
pact that they would take a break the next day. No studio. No writing. No
recording.

Normally, the idea of no music for
a day would drive Gray crazy, but he had Carina already doing that. Plus, being
near her would put him near music no matter what. Gray had full intention of
finding out just how many songs Carina had written.

Once in the car, Gray told Carina
to pick anything she wanted for dinner.

She looked at him and smiled.

“Don’t judge me,” she said.

“I never would.”

“Is it wrong to want to order a
pizza, get wine… maybe beer, and watch a movie?”

Gray smiled. If the guys had heard
the request they’d probably laugh. Everyone except maybe Luke, who would probably
end up doing the same thing Gray intended on doing. Gray kissed Carina’s hand
and nodded.

“I love the idea. I’ll pick the
pizza if you pick the movie.”

“Even if it’s something really
crappy and romantic?” Carina asked.

Gray leaned toward her. “I don’t
care what it is… I don’t plan on watching much of the movie.”

Carina blushed as she instinctively
twirled a piece of hair.

Gray’s work was done for the
moment.

Thanks to his smartphone and GPS,
Gray managed to find pizza and beer without the hassle and embarrassment of
driving aimlessly around town. At the beer store, he went unnoticed. At the
pizza place, a little man with an Italian accent greeted him with a handshake
and a smile. The man’s ten gold bracelets jiggled and clanked together. He
begged Gray for a quick picture for his wall. Gray couldn’t say no, especially
when the man - who now identified himself as Lou - told Gray his pizza order
would be on the house.

Gray smiled with thumbs up and then
carried the pizza to the car.

“You mooched pizza,” she teased.
“Not impressing me at all.”

“I’ll go back in and pay,” Gray
said. “Hell, I’ll buy the place and name it Carina’s Pizza.”

“Can you make a pizza?”

“Probably as well as I sing.”

Carina smiled. “Let’s just stick to
our original plans for tonight.”

Gray laughed. He wasn’t sure it
that was a jab or not, but coming from Carina’s sweet lips, he didn’t care.

Back at Mack’s place, Gray found
the townhouse dark. He tried calling Mack but he didn’t answer. Knowing Mack,
he was probably at a local bar, buying drinks, enjoying the attention and
company of women. Gray called Luke and he was with Amy. Luke said he’d track
Mack down.

Carina took the pizza and beer
downstairs. Gray found her waiting on the couch with the pizza box open and two
beers. He never pictured himself domesticated, but looking at Carina on the
couch made him want to stay in the basement for about a week to be with her.

They ate and drank with the
television in the background. The threat of a crappy romantic movie came and
went because Gray couldn’t keep his eyes off Carina. And Carina couldn’t do the
same with Gray.

 Just as Gray predicted, they
barely made it halfway through whatever the hell movie Carina ended up putting
on the television. The interest in the movie was gone long before they started
to kiss, but as they kissed, the heat grew fast, forcing Gray to stand with Carina
in his arms. He took her to the bedroom and just like that the night was over…
or in some ways it was just beginning.

His hands were everywhere on her
body. He couldn’t contain the way he felt and the way he acted. On his knees,
Gray tore at Carina’s shirt, not giving up until it was on the floor. He unhooked
her bra next. Hovering over her body, Gray gently cusped her breasts, his lips
tingling to taste her. He brought his eager mouth to her Carina’s ample chest.
He teased her with his lips, flicked her nipples with the tip of his tongue. He
even used his teeth, grazing Carina until she cried out in a mix of pleasure
and perhaps mild pain.

Gray smiled. He loved to be in
control like this, especially over Carina.

She reached down and touched him,
signaling what she wanted next.

But Gray wasn’t quite done yet.

Gray reached across the bed and
retrieved protection. He then slithered down Carina’s body until he got to her
pants. He opened the button and quickly slid them off. Without her knowing,
Gray opened his own pants. As he kissed at the top of her panties, even biting
at them, he managed to get out of his pants and boxers. He was thick and hard,
ready for Carina’s body again.

He stared at her delicate skin once
he took her panties off. She stared at him and Gray could only flicker a quick
smile before bringing his mouth to her body. As he kissed her and savored her, Carina
thrust at him, letting out a long sigh. Exploring her with his tongue, Gray
used his hands to open the condom wrapper and slide it on himself. He then
touched Carina’s inner thighs, which made her arch her back.

“Gray… Gray…”

Hearing her call his name was all he
could handle. He moved from her center, kissing along bare skin. He then lifted
his body from hers and climbed forward until he touched her.

Carina cried out, her fingers
curled and her nails dug into his back, demanding Gray to enter her. A second
later, he thrusted deep into Carina. The feeling of her clenching him from the
inside threatened to end their lovemaking way too soon. But Gray couldn’t take
himself from her because Carina had begun to climax. She throbbed and called
his name. He allowed her body to command him.

Faster… harder… slower…

Gray loved her with every ounce of
emotion that had been built between them. When he climaxed, Gray thrust deep
and brought his mouth down to Carina’s. He remained there long after his climax
came and went. They continued to kiss as her hands slid up to his hair. She
held Gray in a way no other woman had ever come close to.

When the kiss finally did end, Gray
hated the idea of leaving Carina’s body, but he could feel his life changing by
the second with Carina in his arms. He never believed that he would find something
- or someone – that would be as important to him as Fallen Tuesday. But he’d
found it.

Gray hadn’t realized that he had
drifted off to sleep, so when he heard a phone ringing, he thought it was a
dream. As it got louder, Gray jumped and grabbed his cell phone. He opened his
eyes and looked at the clock. It was just before six in the morning. Carina was
in the same position as when she had fallen asleep. Gray tried his hardest to
move without waking her. He stood, naked, and left the bedroom to find his
phone.

The call was from his mother and
her words left him numb. He wasn’t sure if he actually heard her words or
understood what they meant. After giving one word answers, Gray ended the call
and dropped his cell phone.

He turned and found Carina standing
just inches away, the bed sheet wrapped around her body.

“Gray, what’s wrong?”

Gray stared at Carina. He needed to
say it to believe it.

“It’s my brother,” he said.

“Oh, Gray… did he…” She swallowed.
“Did he pass away?”

Gray shook his head. “No. He woke
up.”

(16)

Gray had to move fast. If he were
alone it would have been ten times easier, but he had Carina to consider.
Trying to keep her involved and feeling like she wasn’t neglected, Gray asked
her to help by packing up his stuff, along with hers.

The first call Gray made was to
Frank to ask for a private jet to be ready as soon as possible. Frank showed
enthusiasm that Peter was awake while Gray wasn’t sure how he felt about it
yet. Wasn’t it just a short while ago his mother hounded him that she would
have to make the decision to pull the plug on Peter? Gray tried not to think
about it too much, but that was clearly impossible. The next phone call he had
to make was to Luke. Gray asked him to tell the rest of the band.

With their bags packed and a
private jet arriving within the hour, Gray stood in the kitchen with Carina.
She leaned against the table while Gray kept moving. He had to keep moving.

“I feel like I should ask you what
you’re thinking,” Carina said.

Gray stopped. “My mother told me
she was going to pull the plug on him. That it was time to let him go. Am I mad
about that? No. He was just a body kept alive by machines. Now, it’s all
different. He’s awake. That body came alive on its own. What do I do with
that?”

“That’s why you’re going to see
him,” Carina said.

“And what? What do I do or say to
him? It wasn’t like he was in a car accident or something. He did this to
himself. He let himself get to this point. And he has no idea what I’ve been
going through, no idea what our mother has been going through.”

“Maybe you can tell him,” Carina
said. “Maybe this can be the wakeup call.”

“There is no wake up call with
Peter,” Gray shouted. “He does what he wants…”

Gray saw Carina’s face. She was
afraid. He’d scared her with his own anger and fear.

Gray collected himself and
approached Carina with his hands up in defeat.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” he said. “I
shouldn’t get upset like that. Not at you.”

“I’m sorry you have to go through
all this,” Carina said. “I want to believe that it’s good your brother is
awake, but your eyes are telling me something different.”

Gray nodded. “I’m afraid, baby. I’m
angry too. I love my brother, but he needs to take care of himself. I thought
maybe if he just died then there would be no more worry. But how can I think
that without feeling terrible?”

Carina touched his face. “You can
think anything you want, Gray. You can confide in me.”

“Baby,” Gray whispered. He put his
head to Carina’s. Words that would change his life and Carina’s. Words that
would change both of their lives lingered on his lips. They had nothing to do
with his brother. They had everything to do with the feeling he got staring at Carina.

“I have to tell you something,”
Gray said.

“Okay.”

“I…”

Forty-five thousand, five hundred
twenty five. That was the biggest crowd Fallen Tuesday had ever played to, as
the opening act for Chasing Cross. This moment was more nerve-racking than
standing on that stage in front of all those people.

“I… think… no. I don’t think. I
know. I…”

The front door to the townhouse
opened with a quick squeak followed by a slam.

“Gray!”

It was Mack.

Gray moved from Carina just as Mack
turned the corner. He dropped a bag to the floor and threw his big, bear like
arms around Gray and hugged him.

“Shit, brother,” Mack said. “Luke
told me. I don’t know what the hell to say about this.”

Gray patted Mack’s back. “Thanks,
man. It’s okay though. I’m flying out to take care of things.”

Mack held Gray’s shoulders. He
looked like hell.

“Damn,” Mack said. “It’s not going
to be easy. I’m sure you know that. There’s no right answer to all this. I just
wanted to come see you before you left, man. Just know we’re all thinking about
you.”

“I appreciate that, Mack,” Gray
said. “I’ll figure it out once I get there. I want to be pissed, but I’m sure
I’ll hug the dumb son of a bitch when I see him.”

Mack laughed. “Drugs, man. I don’t
get it.”

“Neither do I,” Gray said.

He spotted something sticking out
from Mack’s pocket. It was obvious he had thrown himself together before bolting
from wherever the hell he ended up the night before. Gray plucked the object
from Mack’s pocket. It didn’t take a genius to know it was a picture. Gray knew
it had to have been the picture he caught Mack staring at the other day at the
kitchen table.

Gray unfolded the picture so only Mack
could see it.

“Take care of yourself too,” Gray
said.

Mack looked at the picture then at
Gray. “Someday, brother. Someday.”

He took the picture and folded it
back up, keeping it in his hand now.

It was time to leave. Gray offered
his hand to Carina and she was by his side.

“Sweetheart, it was great to meet
you,” Mack said. “Hope we get to jam again soon.”

“Thank you,” Carina said. There was
still a glimmer of awe in her eyes. “Thank you for everything you and the band
did for me.”

“You did it all yourself,” Mack
said. “Take care of that pretty voice and keep writing.”

“Okay,” Gray said as he stepped
between Mack and Carina. “That’s enough. You need a shower before you can start
flirting with my girl.”

Mack laughed again. “I’ll miss you,
brother.”

“I’ll be back soon. No matter what.
We have an album to finish and shows to play.”

“Amen.”

Gray and Carina left the house.
They took the car to the airport and Gray didn’t give a damn about how the car
would get to the rental place. Someone would take care of it for him. He hated
to act like a rockstar snob, but there were more important things to deal with.

He watched Carina climb the private
jet’s small set of steps and it all came rushing back.

“Carina?” he called out.

She looked over her shoulder. The
sun shined behind her. Her eyes were twinkling and her natural beauty stole
Gary’s breath.

Gray charged up to Carina and put
his hands to her waist.

“We can’t leave for Liering until I
say this,” he said. “It’s not a romantic moment or a romantic place… it’s not
even a romantic situation. But I can’t do this any longer.”

“Do what?”

“I can’t hold back from telling you
that I’m falling in love with you.”

Carina didn’t blink. Her mouth
opened but nothing came out. Gray didn’t expect her to say anything. He was
just a rockstar. A rockstar with baggage and heavy commitments thanks to Peter
and the upcoming Fallen Tuesday album. A life with Gray wouldn’t be a normal one,
but that didn’t change the way Gray felt.

“Are we ready?” a voice asked from
the private jet.

“Yes,” Gray said. He kept his eyes
to Carina. He smiled. “I’m sorry. I just had to say it before we left. I don’t
know what’s going to happen when we land.”

Carina kissed Gray. She communicated
with her lips in a way Gray never felt a woman do before. And when the kiss
broke, she spoke.

“I love you, Gray,” she whispered.
“I do. Getting to know you as a rockstar, as a friend, as a lover, I’ve fallen
for you.”

Gray kissed Carina and said, “We
better get inside before they take off with us standing here.”

They boarded the private jet and
sat facing each other. When the jet took off, Carina looked out the window. She
was worried. Worried about him. Worried about them. Gray knew it wasn’t his
place to really step in, but that didn’t mean he was going to hold back.

“You know, there’s something special
about the road,” he said as he looked out the window. “It’s hard to explain.
Sometimes it feels like home. Sometimes it doesn’t. I never settled in New York
like the rest of the guys because in my gut I wasn’t supposed to. Luke will
never leave because of Amy. Mack will forever be the wanderer until he finds
what he’s looking for. Jake and Trent are so far apart except when it comes to
music. That leaves me. Standing. Watching. I make hotels my home because I’m
not sure where I belong.”

Gray looked at Carina and saw her
eyes were glossy. She understood everything.

“I will say this,” Gray said, “the
traveling hurts a lot less when you have someone you care about with you.”

“Thank you for saying all that,” Carina
said.

“Why don’t you get some sleep?”

Carina nodded and within a few
minutes she was sound asleep. Gray moved to a different seat and took out his
cell phone. He placed a call to Frank.

Frank answered on the second ring.
“Tell me the plane was there and everything is okay.”

“I’m in the air as we speak,” Gray
said. “Thank you for getting this done so quickly.”

“Hey, of course. You guys have the
record company smiling ear to ear right now. The songs are amazing. Dates are
already in talk, but I’ll make sure to work around you, okay? Whatever you need
to do with your brother…”

“I don’t want to talk about that
mess right now. I want to talk about music.”

“Music it is then,” Frank said.
“Talk to me.”

“We have a good amount of songs
coming along. I really think the album is going to be huge.”

“Everything I like to hear.”

“There’s a song though… I’m pretty sure
the guys are on board with it. It’s slow. Mostly piano.”

“The one with the female vocals?”

“Well, yeah. How did you…”

“Luke sent it to me late last
night. Hell of a song, Gray. Who wrote it?”

Gray looked at Carina and smiled. “That
would be my... my girlfriend. My girl.”

“Your girl,” Frank joked. “Okay
then.”

“Let it go. Back to the point. That
song… she wrote it all. I caught her singing it and I took her to the studio. I
really think that can be a big song.”

“It’s got more potential than
anything you guys have ever done,” Frank said. “The question is... what do we
do with the song? And with the woman?”

“Her name’s Carina. And what’s
wrong?”

“Are we going to pay her for the
song?” Frank asked. “Are we paying for more material? Is she part of the band?
Will she sing it live?”

Gray thought for a few seconds.
“I’ll be honest here. I think you should meet and talk with her. She wants to
be a songwriter. Well, no, that’s wrong. She is a songwriter. She wants to make
that her career. I think she’s good enough to get on stage and perform, but
that’s up to her, not me. As far as this song goes, we need to take care of
her. I doubt the band will argue that fact.”

“You’re sure about this?” Frank
asked. “I mean, mixing business and pleasure?”

“There’s no mixing,” Gray said.
“That song needs to be on the album. It will be a monster hit for us.”

“What about the live shows?”

“We cross that bridge then. We can
bring in guest vocalists. We can have people tryout to be in that night’s
show.”

“That’s a really good idea,” Frank
said.

“Of course it is,” Gray said. “I
always have good ideas.”

“So what’s the next step?”

“If you know anyone looking for a
song or a songwriter…”

“I got it,” Frank said. “I’ll pass
the word around. Now, as far as paying her…”

“I just want her to be taken care
of. She deserves this. I say get the song ready when we can and release it to
see where it takes off to.”

“Will she sing on the studio
version?”

“I’ll have to ask,” Gray said.

The call ended and Gray looked at Carina.
He shook his head. Man, he’d never been in real love before. There had been
other women he thought he loved, but it was nothing like this.

Gray closed his eyes to think and
fell asleep.

*

Carina heard the entire
conversation. Each time she was about to open her eyes and say something, Gray
said more. And more. And more. She heard Gray talk about paying her, getting
her more work, and live shows. It was so much at once. Carina had always
dreamed of writing a song that would end up on the radio, but never did she
think she’d end up recording with Fallen Tuesday, or fall in love with the
guitarist. Going back to Liering wasn’t going to be easy for either Carina or
Gray.

When she finally opened her eyes,
she realized she had slept a little bit. She thought about her apartment in
that damn building. It made her shiver as she pictured herself having to sleep
in that bed again. To be in there was nothing but memories she wanted to forget.

It hurt Carina to know that when
the private jet landed she and Gray would have to split up. There was no way
she could go with him to deal with what he had to deal with. She needed to
stand tall and strong, to make sure Gray didn’t have to worry about her. At
least Carina knew she could call Angie and get together with her. She was so
excited to tell Angie about all. Fallen Tuesday… the studio… the songs…
the
sex
…

Carina felt her cheeks burn as she
looked at a sleeping Gray. She hoped whatever happened with his brother would
be quick and painless. The time she had to spend in Liering would cause her to
doubt herself and her talents. Being in Mack’s basement with Gray empowered her
music. Being in the studio made her feel like she actually had a chance to
write music for a living. Now, as the private jet made its descent into
Massachusetts, Carina had all those same feelings corrode her mind and heart.
Her hands were shaking as the plane touched down. Gray woke and looked at her.
He rushed to her, perhaps sensing her discomfort.

“What is it, baby?”

“I’m just going to miss it,” Carina
said. “What we were doing.”

Gray hugged her. “We’ll be back
soon enough. It wasn’t a dream, Carina. It was reality.”

“Please take care of things,” Carina
said. “With your mother and brother. I’ll keep my phone with me if you need
someone to talk or vent to.”