A Sound Among the Trees (39 page)

But I don’t know if I am glad Will was the one to bring him to me. Will seems to regard me differently now, like I am not the same girl he chased with a lizard. And he misses that girl. But not like he misses Eliza. He has asked about her. His face grew most troubled when I told him she is imprisoned at Castle Thunder. He knows the place. Libby Prison was right down the street from it
.

It is nearly midnight. Time to check on John
.

Susannah

8 May 1863
Holly Oak, Fredericksburg, Virginia

Dearest Eleanor
,

Will there never be an end to this upside-down world of war, dear cousin? Yesterday a woman came to the door, a neighbor who
,
before she married, had been a good friend of Eliza’s. She carried a few dresses in her arms, told me they were dresses she had worn three years ago when she was with child. She said she would be happy to loan them to me. As she put them into my arms, she leaned in close and whispered, “You must get those Yankees out of your cellar. There is someone in town who suspects you of hiding them.”

Then she gaily bade me good morning and was gone before I could assemble my thoughts. I could not imagine how anyone could know of Will and John’s presence. Even Grandmother did not know. I tossed the dresses onto the couch in the drawing room and began to search the downstairs for Tessie
.

But I could not find her. I searched Cook’s room; I went to her old quarters; I searched the garden and the orchard, but she was nowhere. I went back inside the house and upstairs to search the bedrooms, calling her name. I found Mama in her bedroom with Samuel in her arms, rocking and singing him to sleep. She pressed a finger to her mouth to hush me
.

“Where is Tessie?” I asked, feigning a casual tone
.

“She had errands to run. Hush now, or you will wake the baby.”

She went back to her lullaby, my presence for the most part forgotten. I left my mother and began to pace the landing, contemplating the wisdom of a daytime escape. It seemed ludicrous. But what could we do? How long could I wait? Should I wait for Tessie to return? Grandmother was at the haberdashery. With my mother rocking Samuel behind a closed door, I might possibly be able to get them to the river without being seen. But what then?

As I pondered these questions, the front door chime rang and I froze. Was it the neighbor again? Was it the person she said suspected us of hiding Yankees? I couldn’t move. The door chimed again. I slowly descended the stairs. I steeled myself against my fear and fought to consider what Eliza would do. Eliza would be calm
,
Eliza would not shudder or shake. Eliza would display convincing resentment at such a ridiculous notion as us harboring Yankees
.

I crossed the foyer as the chime rang a third time and opened the door slowly
.

My fears melted in an instant. There on the other side of the door was Nathaniel. I fell into his arms in sweet relief he clearly misunderstood. He wrapped his arms around me and at once noticed the hard bulge at my abdomen
.

He pulled back and studied me as if needing to see with his own eyes the mound that was his unborn child. He broke into a wide smile, tears glistening at the corners of his eyes. He pulled me into his arms again, this time off my feet. “Susannah! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to tell you in a letter. I wanted to tell you myself,” I said, scanning the street behind him to see if there was anyone else lining up to ring the door chime at Holly Oak. No one else was in sight
.

“Are you well? Are you getting rest? Do you need anything?” He rushed his questions at me as I led him into the house. For the next hour, while I waited for Tessie to return, I spoke to my husband as if the day were an ordinary one, aside from his wonderful arrival. Mama came downstairs to greet Nathaniel with Samuel asleep in her arms. Grandmother arrived home for the noon hour, and I was happy to see she had put on a dress of cobalt blue that morning, the first dress she had put on in months that wasn’t black. She was, of course, distressed that Tessie was running errands when we had a guest
.

We sat in the drawing room while Nathaniel told us of the battles he had weathered and how Virginia was faring and where his parents were. As soon as I heard Tessie use the back door I jumped up and announced that I would have Tessie bring the tea in
.

But I was gone too long, Eleanor. I should’ve known it would only take a moment to ask Tessie to bring in a tea tray. When I didn’t return at once to the drawing room, my husband came looking for me. And I didn’t hear him coming. Tessie didn’t either. We were immersed in a hushed conversation about how to get Will and John safely out of the cellar when I suddenly heard Nathaniel’s voice behind me
.

“Who are you hiding in your cellar?” he asked, and it was plain by the distressed sound of his voice that he had heard quite a bit. He knew we were hiding two Yankee soldiers. He wanted to know who they were, because he couldn’t for even a moment fathom that the woman he loved could possibly be a traitor. He had to know the reason
.

It would’ve done no good to lie, Eleanor. He had already heard far too much. And I had wounded him as surely as if I had stabbed him in the chest. I could see that in his eyes. I had kept something from him. Something huge. Something dangerous
.

I rushed to him. “Nathaniel, listen to me. It is true I am hiding two men in my cellar. But they are not Yankees to me. Not to me! One is my cousin. The son of my father’s brother. He is family! My family is your family, dearest! And the other is the good friend who risked much to bring my cousin here after he was wounded at Chancellorsvillle.”

Nathaniel stared at me, absorbing what I was telling him without a word. I went on
.

“They became separated from their unit! And my cousin was shot. He needed help and they came here. I could not turn them away! I stitched my cousin’s wound, and I have been caring for him. They will leave as soon as my cousin can travel. They will leave tonight, I promise you!”

Nathaniel still had not said anything. I pleaded again with
him. “Please, Nathaniel! Say nothing! They will leave tonight. I will make sure of it.”

“I will make sure of it,” he finally said, very quietly. And I felt my heart sink to my toes
.

“Nathaniel, please …”

Then he took my hands and kissed them. “I will make sure of it. I will make sure they escape safely. I promise you they will make their getaway tonight, as soon as the sun sets. You are not to give it another thought.”

His voice was so sincere, Eleanor. So kind. I almost could not believe it. He turned to Tessie
.

“Better bring in a tea tray, Tessie. Susannah’s grandmother and mother will be expecting it,” he said
.

Tessie nodded, wide eyed, and began to bustle about the pantry
.

Nathaniel still held my shaking hands in his. “How long have you been hiding your cousin and his friend?”

“Only a few days,” I whispered. “But Nathaniel! A neighbor came by just before you arrived today and said someone in town suspects they are here. And Tessie and I have told no one! Not even my mother and grandmother!”

He placed a finger gently on my lips. “Do not worry. I will take care of everything. They will be borne safely across to the Union lines tonight.”

Eleanor, could you even bear to read a word from my wicked hand? I do not deserve a man like Nathaniel. I never will. I threw myself into his arms and thanked him, over and over. He stroked my hair and back and told me to think no more of it, to compose myself so that he and I could make our way back to the drawing room. He assured me that when I woke tomorrow my only concern would be what color to have the nursery painted
.

He was as good as his word. When Will and John emerged from the cellar at nightfall, I hugged John good-bye, careful of his stitches. I could only give Will a polite peck on the cheek, as if he were nothing more than a compassionate soul who took pity on a wounded family member. I wanted to kiss him the way I had at the prison infirmary, wretch that I am. And God in his mercy—or perhaps in his punishment—saw to it that I could not, as Nathaniel stood right beside me
.

As I stood watching Nathaniel shake Will’s hand, gentleman to gentleman, it became clear as glass to me, Eleanor. Will is fond of me as I am fond of Nathaniel. But he loves Eliza as I love him. As I have always loved him
.

As Nathaniel helped John mount his horse, Will smiled at me, an approving smile, a remorseful smile. He was wordlessly telling me he had been wrong to assume I had married for less than admirable reasons. What could I do but smile back? Will shall no doubt come to the conclusion that, aside from being a rebel Confederate, Nathaniel Page is a decent fellow. The girl Will is fond of shall be happy with this man. As he mounted his own horse, this smile still on his lips, tears sprang to my eyes for so many lost reasons. Nathaniel stepped back to my side and at once put his strong arm around me, kissed my cheek. Then he got onto his horse and told me not to wait up
.

Tessie handed Will and John the provisions she had packed, and then they headed for the woods, the three of them—my cousin, my husband, and the man I must stop loving. When I could no longer see the backs of their horses in the mangled woods, I listened for the pat-a-pat sound among the trees of their quiet departure
.

I fear I shall never see Will again, Eleanor
.

Morning
.

Nathaniel returned in the middle of the night. I tried to stay awake and could not. He told me he found me curled up on the
couch in my room with a candle still burning, an open book on my lap, and a cold cup of tea on the table next to me. He carried me into my bed—our bed—and when I awoke this morning, the warming rays of the sun were stretched across us; I had forgotten to draw the curtains closed. The day outside my window seemed triumphal, even in its infancy, though my bedroom was still swathed in shadow. I laid my head upon Nathaniel’s chest, and his arm was around me in an instant
.

“I don’t deserve you,” I whispered, before even considering how that must’ve sounded
.

But he just grinned and rubbed my shoulder. “You don’t have any other cousins in the Union Army, do you?” he said
.

“No.” I looked up at his head on my pillow. “Are they safe?”

“As safe as a soldier can be when he is at war, my love. I am quite sure they are now across Union lines.”

I reached out my hand and touched his cheek. “Thank you,” I murmured. And a tear slipped out of my eye and landed on his nightshirt
.

He kissed the top of my head. “They are good men. They didn’t seem like Yankees to me either, my sweet. Not last night. But today, my darling, you must know, that is who they are.”

And I nodded. I know who Will is. He is the man on the other side. Will is the man I must let go
.

15 May 1863
Holly Oak, Fredericksburg, Virginia

My dearest Eleanor
,

Nathaniel did not stay here three days as he had hoped. The battle at Chancellorsville had been fierce and claimed the
life of Gen. Jackson. Nathaniel was called away after only one day
.

We had visitors to the house the hour before he left, however. Two officials from the mayor’s office came to Holly Oak announcing they had received an anonymous message that we were hiding Yankee soldiers. Both of these men had been arrested and jailed during the occupation last year. They asked to see Grandmother, who of course showed all the necessary indignation at such an accusation
.