A Star is Born (14 page)

As a passenger in first class I was allowed to board first, which I did. I found my seat—it wasn’t very hard—and settled in with my book and my cup of iced tea. I quickly discovered that I needn’t have bothered to bring my own beverage—anything I wanted was available during the flight. They wined and dined us all the way across the Pacific to Hawaii.

I transferred to my inter-island flight, which left right on time and was blessedly short. I was tired of flying and wanted to be where I was going—and to see my guy! And when I exited the security zone of the Maui airport, there he was, looking all bright eyed and super studly. We threw caution to the wind and embraced each other right there in the airport.

Bill had, of course, been recognized by a few people coming and going, even though he was in his usual ratty jeans, T-shirt, sunglasses, and baseball cap. His latest approach was to always have a folded newspaper with him so that he was always looking down at something, hoping this would give people less opportunity to see and recognize him. It sometimes worked, but not always. The price of fame.

We didn’t linger at the airport since he had pulled off his sunglasses and cap to greet me, which of course meant that a lot of people recognized him immediately. As his work became more widely known and more and more people came to like his acting and the roles he played, the interest in him as a person expanded as well.

Unlike a lot of Hollywood actors, Bill had never made any attempt to hide the fact that he was gay. It was who he was. He had worked too hard to come out of the closet, and he had no intention of ever going back into the closet. His thinking was that if people couldn’t handle him as a gay man, then to hell with them.

Evidence, however, would indicate that not many people seemed to have an issue with him being gay or being a part of a same-sex couple. People still turned out in droves to buy tickets and watch his movies. We had talked many times about why so many actors were terrified to come out and admit who they really were. We dreamed of a day when everyone could just be who they were and not have to worry about the morality police being out to get them.

Bill had driven his rental car to the airport to pick me up, so we made our way out to the parking lot so that he could drive me to his new rental place. The condo he was living in was very nice. It was by no means as glitzy or as glamorous as Derrick’s house had been, but it provided Bill with everything he needed in a home away from home. The place had been set up to serve as a vacation rental for people who were staying for more than a few days. Bill’s rental of the condo for three weeks was exactly what the owners liked.

By the time we got there, it was getting late, even by Hawaii standards, so I was tired, and all I had done was sit and eat and read for five-plus hours. Bill had worked that day, which was tiring. Even though I was falling over, after I took a quick shower I asked him to fill me in on how his day had gone. I was pleased to hear that his original estimate of them having about three weeks of work left was holding true. They now had about two weeks left, and he was counting the days until they were done and he could go home.

Since I only had one day, Saturday, with Bill, we started our day early. (Damned time zone changes!) After showers and breakfast, Bill drove us to a part of the island I had never seen before. I was getting a bit concerned, as the condition of the road continued to deteriorate. When the road finally ended, I saw a number of cars parked haphazardly (or so it seemed at the time).

Bill told me that he had found a great place to hike, and after making the hike with him, I absolutely agreed. There was a trail that we more or less followed. Regardless of where we were, the scenery, the view looking north toward the ocean as we walked along the side of tall, ancient rock mountains—former volcanoes, he told me—was simply incredible.

We saw others during our day hiking, but fortunately they were all well-behaved, and no one bothered us while we explored. The vegetation was lush. The humidity in the air from the ocean, which seemed to be everywhere, made the vegetation just that much more “real” for us.

When we happened to come upon a blooming orchid that had sort of embedded itself into a crook in a tree, I was ecstatic. I had always adored flowers; I just didn’t know anything about them. This one, however, I had seen once before, so I actually knew the name of this plant. To find it just randomly growing in an unlikely place was so exciting for me. I could barely contain my excitement, which seemed to make Bill happy.

Our day hiking was the perfect choice. We covered a lot of ground, saw a lot of the island you just couldn’t see by car, since there were no roads in this part of the island. If you wanted to go where we were, you had to go by foot and really want to go there.

When we got back to the car, later that afternoon, we were both beat but happy. Back at Bill’s condo, we showered away some of the sweat and dirt we had acquired during our hike. We lay down for a few minutes and both fell asleep, nestled together in the dappled late-afternoon sunlight. When life was good, life was good.

We went out to a restaurant that Bill had discovered earlier in his time on the island. I didn’t ask for the details, but rather just relished the moment. The place was small and seemed to be mostly for locals. I know that I certainly would not have found the place on my own if I had gone hunting for a place to eat.

The fish we had that evening tasted like it had leapt from the ocean directly into the frying pan before coming to our table. It was simply prepared, but the taste was wonderful. Wild-caught fish really did seem to have better flavor and taste than farm-raised fish. Maybe someday the wild “taste” could be replicated by fish farmers, but we were not there yet.

After we finished eating, I was so wrapped up in Bill and what he was saying that I failed to notice people gathering behind my chair. Bill saw, though. I wondered what he meant when he gave a simple nod while looking at someone behind me. And then I knew.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear Mark, happy birthday to you!” A beautiful birthday cake appeared in front of me with a single candle burning. Whoever had made the cake had done a first-rate job—it was beautifully decorated. A couple of balloons appeared by my side as well.

Bill raised his glass of iced tea and said, “To the man I love. May you have many, many more birthdays in the years ahead, and may they all be wonderful.” We toasted and enjoyed a couple of pieces of the cake. It was an extravagance, but we enjoyed it nonetheless.

When we were finished, the owner of the place wrapped up the cake for me to take home with me, along with a couple of balloons. Back at the condo, I fell over from the rich food, the physical activity of the day, and the time zone change.

I flew home the next day in the late morning. With the time change, I didn’t get home until late afternoon. It was difficult, parting, but I knew we were in the final stretch and Bill’s work would soon be finished and he would be coming home in just two weeks. While we didn’t have a specific target date for his return yet, I was starting to count the days, hoping that it would be sooner rather than later.

The Academy Awards

B
ILL
got home two weeks and one day later, pretty close to what he had originally estimated. With filming now completed, the movie moved into the editing phase, which took months. He was called back to read one line again, because somehow it had become garbled in the original recording. But fortunately that was all that was required from him in that phase. The movie was scheduled for a fall debut.

We were both surprised when the Academy Award nominations
were released. Both Bill and Derrick were nominated, one for best actor and one for best supporting actor, for their film from last Christmas. The movie was also nominated for Best Picture, as well as a few other awards.

On the big afternoon, when all of Hollywood showed up in their Sunday finest, we were there as well. This was a new experience for both of us. Derrick and his wife were there too. This would be the first time since the big blowup that I saw Derrick. I was not looking forward to seeing him again, but both Moira and Bill repeatedly told me that it was essential that I maintain proper decorum at this event. I was to smile and be polite at all times. So I did.

Bill and I walked in together, hand in hand, both of us dressed in our tuxedos. I really did like the way we looked in those things. We both wore matching sunglasses, tasteful and refined while being functional as well. Bill was interviewed by a half dozen different people as we made the slow walk in from the car to the theater where the awards ceremony was held.

We were stopped so frequently by people standing on the sidelines that it took forever to get into the theater. Moira was with us, encouraging Bill to work the crowd and to talk with as many people as possible to build goodwill. When we finally made it to the theater, we were walking with Moira in the middle and us on both sides, each holding an arm. We posed for countless pictures, and I just prayed that my hair looked good and that everything was in place. I knew that Moira and Bill looked great, and I hoped that I looked half as good.

The theater was massive and grand beyond belief. There were more personalities and big names present than I had ever seen anywhere in my entire life. And it seemed like Moira knew all of them. She had a constant stream of people stopping by to shake her hand and say hello. She made sure to introduce us to everyone, but, quite honestly, the names of many of them were starting to blur together for me.

Bill’s category of Best Supporting Actor was the fourth award presented that night. They did the usual clips of the movies. I knew it was coming, but to see my boyfriend, the man who was seated beside me, holding my hand, suddenly appear on the giant screen, I was in awe and was once again blown away by his talent and performance. They had picked a good clip of him, but then I wouldn’t expect them to show a bad clip.

He had some huge competition. We had all assumed, since he was a newcomer to the business and had only been in a couple of movies, that the other, bigger names stood a
far
better chance of winning. We were so sure, that when Bill’s name was read as the recipient, we were all dumbfounded. None of us moved. We looked to Moira, who stood and hugged him. I stood and did the same, and then Moira pushed him toward the stage.

On stage, Bill received a round of applause along with his little golden statuette. We had been so sure that he wouldn’t win that we hadn’t prepared any remarks. But I shouldn’t have worried—Bill was good.

He stood quietly for a moment, just looking at the statue. We were starting to get worried when he showed us that we had nothing to worry about. “I didn’t expect to be standing up here tonight. I accept this award with gratitude on behalf of all of the young men and women out there who are in trouble, who are in desperate situations, who are just about out of hope, who don’t see any reason to go on.

“This award tells us that we should never give up. When it seems most hopeless, please, please, please hang in there. Please don’t give up. I know it’s a cliché, but it really does get better. You may not be able to see it at the moment, but I promise you that it will get better. Please hang on, because someday I want to be sitting out there watching when
you
get this award. And if you give up now, you won’t be here to show us what you’re really made of.”

Bill was speaking with a level of emotional intensity that had been missing from everyone else’s acceptance remarks prior to his. I was worried that the music was going to start playing and that he would be cut off, but fortunately someone somewhere read the situation and knew that they were seeing something special. No music started to play. Bill had the spotlight.

Bill was now talking, not to those of us in the room, but to those outside the walls of this room, people scattered all across the globe. “I was where you are now. I was beaten down, physically and emotionally. I had broken bones. My face was swollen from being punched so many times that I couldn’t even see. Everything hurt. I was embarrassed. I was humiliated. It was awful. I wanted to die. And at my lowest point, in my darkest hour, a guardian angel appeared out of nowhere and saved me. Mr. and Mrs. M., Mark, this is for you. You gave me back my life when I was ready to give up. Thank you so very, very much for saving me.

“Please, if you are standing on a chair with a noose around your neck, please don’t do it. If you are holding a bottle of pills, please close it up and get rid of them. If you’re holding a gun in your hands, please put it away. Please, everyone, don’t ever give up. The bullies win when you give up. You are stronger than they are. You’re going places. I know it because I was where you are now. I wish I knew all of your names to be able to tell you how proud I am of you.” He held up his statue and said, “This is gonna be yours someday. I was where you are now. I did it. I made it. And so can you. Tonight I’m the happiest guy in the world. Thank you all so much.”