A Story of Now (31 page)

Moira smiles at her, her red curls blowing around her face. “Anything for you, kid.” She squeezes her arm. “As long as you promise you’ll come and take a look at the new centre next week and consider helping out this summer. We’re desperately short of volunteers for the holiday program.”

Claire laughs. She should have known Moi would be shilling for her help again. “Okay, I promise I’ll come and look when I get back from the holiday house.” Claire owes her at least that.

“Good girl.” Moira squeezes her arm.

* * *

She leaves Moira at the entrance to the hospital and traipses back toward the university. They’re having a “meeting” at the café to discuss the trip and what they need to bring. It was Robbie’s idea. Claire would never have thought of it. She would’ve slung clothes, books, and maybe a swimsuit in her bag and jumped in the car. But no, according to Robbie, they might need food and beer and petrol money for the trip, and they need to work out a time to leave and where to meet. And he’s right. She’s just happy someone else is willing to be the organised one. She doesn’t want to think. She wants to stare off into the great, delicious void of lazy days by the lake and let someone else do the planning. Besides, she’s providing the venue. Her job is done.

She enters the café and scans the room. It’s busy, but not as busy as usual. Now that exams are finished, all the students are probably as far from the university as they can get. She spots Mia at a table in the corner with her head over a book.

Claire stops in her tracks and slides her hands into her pockets as a wave of weirdness washes over her. She didn’t think that she might see Mia alone. She hasn’t heard from her since the party on Friday, when she disappeared with the girl in the dress. Claire has no idea what to say or how to talk around the fact that they barely saw each other at that party and why that might have been.

She goes to the counter to order her coffee to buy herself some time, hoping the others will arrive before she’s done. But they don’t, so Claire reluctantly makes her way over. Mia stares at her phone as Claire walks over to the table.

“Hey.” She says it as casually as she can as she sits down opposite Mia and rests her forearms on the table.

“Oh hey.” She holds up her phone. “Pete’s going to be late.”

“Where’s Robbie?”

“Not sure. He’ll be here. It was his idea.” She pulls her coffee a little closer to her. “So, how are you?”

“Fine. You?”

“Good. Glad it’s holidays.”

Claire nods.

And then there’s a silence.

And Claire doesn’t know what to do because they
never
have silences like this, so loaded and obvious. In the short time they’ve known each other, they’ve never once struggled to find something to say to each other. Their problem has been the complete and utter opposite. They always have too much to say, something Claire finds both awesome
and
strange, considering how little they actually have in common.

But right in this moment, she feels as though she’s flailing because she cannot find safe conversation territory that won’t lead back to the party.

“How’s your brother doing?” Mia finally asks.

Claire looks up at her, relieved. There’s always Cam to talk about. “He’s okay. He’s whining about being stuck at home, though.”

“It must be hard. Going from his kind of job to doing absolutely nothing.”

“I guess.”

And that stilted silence drops around them again as Claire stares into her coffee. She feels even more awkward now that Mia’s given her something to go on, and she can’t even manage the responsibility of running with it properly.

She sneaks a glance at Mia and she looks apprehensive, too, with the skin wrinkled slightly around her brows. It’s obvious that they are both fully aware of this fine thread of unease between them.

Claire plays with her spoon and wonders how to make this
not
uncomfortable. She wishes she could deliver a casual joke to let Mia know she knows about the girl, to break open this weirdness, and to let them be normal with each other again.

The little web of tension is destroyed by the arrival of Robbie. He drops his bag on the floor, kisses them both, and sits down in his usual flurry of Robbie energy.

“Question.” He puts down his coffee, pulls off his jacket, and rests his forearms on the table. “What do cats need?”

Mia scrunches her brows. “What do you mean?”

“Need for what?” Claire asks at the same time, relieved by this dose of Robbie randomness to save this uncomfortable meeting.

“You know, to live. I mean, they just need food and kitty litter and those little furry ball things to chase, right?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Mia shrugs. “But I have a question, too. Why the hell are you asking?”

He rests his chin in his hand and raises a dubious eyebrow. “All of a sudden I seem to possess a cat. A really, really fat cat.”

“What?” Claire sits up. “Where did you find a cat? And why the hell do you want one?” She thinks of their old cat, an irritable, suspicious thing who, in that annoyingly contrary way of felines, hated everyone in the house but her mother.

“I didn’t want one. I just kind of got one. It was the neighbour’s. Well, it is the neighbour’s. This little old lady who lives across the hall. She went off to hospital a couple of weeks ago, and her son asked me to feed the cat. So I did. But she doesn’t seem to be coming back any time soon. The son didn’t leave me his number or anything, so I haven’t been able to ask him if or when she’ll be home. Or what he wants to do with the cat, who has kind of moved into my apartment. So…” He sips his coffee. “I kind of have this cat.”

“How fat is the cat?” Claire pictures a furry barrel on legs.

“Oh my God.” Robbie shakes his head, eyes wide. “So freaking fat. Hang on a minute.” He rifles through his bag and pulls out a small digital camera. He turns it on and flicks through it. “Here.” He holds the screen out to first Mia, who starts laughing, and then Claire. “Behold, Patty.”

“Oh. Wow.” That is all Claire can think to say as she takes in the sight of this massive tortoise-shell beast, her head a tiny sphere against the furry generosity of her body. A barrel on legs was not far off, it turns out. Except Claire can’t actually see her legs.

“So, anyway, that’s all they need, right? Food, water, litter, toys?”

“Yup, pretty much, I think,” Mia says.

“I’m thinking
less
food.” Claire holds on to his sleeve as he goes to take the camera away, just so she can take in the spectacle of Patty a moment longer. She giggles again and lets go. “And maybe a treadmill. Can that thing even walk?”

“Yeah,
just
.” Robbie takes a last look at the screen and puts away the camera. “Every day is a struggle for poor Patty. I think Helena fed her every time that cat so much as looked at her.”

“Who’s going to take care of her while we’re away?” Mia asks.

“A friend.” He picks up his coffee and shakes his head wearily. “God, it’s like having a child I suddenly have to worry about.”

Mia laughs. “Robbie, I’m pretty sure feeding a cat a couple of times a day is nothing like having a child.”

“Whatever. It feels like it.” Then he leans back in his seat and claps his hands excitedly. “So, where are the others? Let’s plan this freaking trip!”

CHAPTER 39

Later, Claire walks down the darkening streets on her way to work when her phone rings. She stares at it for a second as her stomach does a nervous lurch. She shakes her head. Come on, it’s just Mia. She picks up.

“Hey, it’s me.”

Claire can hear the muffled sounds of the café behind her. “I know. Hey.”

“I’m on a break, and I wanted to tell you…guess who came in?”

“I don’t know. Michael Jackson?”

“Yeah, Claire, Michael Jackson came back from the dead because he really wanted a soy latte, and he just had to have one from here.”

“Well, don’t ask stupid questions.” Claire grins as she moves to avoid a handful of joggers. “So, who was it then?”

“It was Josh.”

“Josh?” Claire wrinkles her nose. “As in Nina’s former Josh. King Douche?”

“The very one.”

“Why do I need to know this?”

“Because, grumpy,” Mia tells her impatiently. “I saw something Nina might like. But I figure you would know better if Nina would enjoy it or if maybe it’s too soon?”

“Okay,” Claire says slowly, still slightly confused. “What did you see?”

“He came in with this girl and ordered coffee and sat near the window. I only just recognised him. You know, when you do that thing where you ask yourself, ‘How do I know that person?’ Anyway, next thing I know, I am making coffee and there’s someone yelling. Like full hysterical screeching. And I look just in time to see this girl jump from her seat, yell something at him, and then dump an entire extra-large mocha over his head. Everybody was staring.”

“No way.” Claire raises her eyebrows and wishes she’d been there to witness that little tantrum.

“I mean, who actually does that? I felt like I was in some really bad romantic comedy. Only it was kind of funny because it was Josh, and all I could think was how happy this might make Nina.”

“Yeah,” Claire agrees. “It’ll probably make Nina pretty damn happy. I’ll tell her when the customers start driving her crazy at work tonight. It will cheer her right up.”

Mia laughs. “Kind of revenge by proxy?”

“Yeah.” Claire crosses the street.

“What are you up to?”

“Walking to work.”

“Oh fun.” Mia sighs. “I’ve got two hours to go, and then I have to go home and prep for my interviews.”

“Oh yeah, the interview.” Claire nods. Mia and Pete both have interviews for their postgrad medicine course Thursday morning. Then they’ll drive up to meet them at the cottage. “Are you nervous?”

“Yeah. Not as nervous as I was about exams but still kind of.”

“You’ll be fine. Just be your usual charming geeky self.”

“Yeah, yeah. Listen, I better go back to work. Tell Nina for me?”

“Of course. And I’ll see you on Thursday, up at the lake.”

“Yes!” Mia sounds immediately excited. “Don’t have too much fun until we get there, okay?”

“I’ll do my best.” Claire smiles. It feels good to be able to just banter again. “See you.”

“Bye.”

Claire immediately feels better, lighter even, at having found this plane of normality with Mia again. Now she wishes she hadn’t been so awkward at the café.

Why was she so uncomfortable? If it had been a guy Mia’d left the party with, Claire would have just asked her about it. Or at least cracked a joke. In fact, she probably would already have messaged her the next day and made some silly teasing comment about Mia seeing some action. But this, for some reason, has rendered her speechless. Why? For a second, she wonders if she is just being weird and homophobic. She knows that can’t be it. She will never give a crap who people choose to sleep with. Unless, of course, it’s someone
she
wants to sleep with herself.

And it’s that thought that makes her stop in the middle of the path.

No
. She steps blindly out of the way of a frowning woman carrying several shopping bags. The woman shakes her head as she passes as if Claire has ruined her day. But Claire doesn’t even react. She’s far too busy asking herself what is suddenly a very pressing, very urgent new question.

Claire, do you have a thing for Mia?

But of course she doesn’t answer it. She can’t answer it. She doesn’t know
how
to answer it.

But she doesn’t dismiss it either. Because now, suddenly, she’s aware there’s a question begging to be answered. And the rapid flush of this realisation warms her neck and cheeks against the cold night. She slowly starts to walk again as she holds up this new possibility in her mind and thinks about what she
does
know in order to get her closer to answering this question.

One thing she knows is that the thought of having a crush on a girl has never
ever
occurred to her in her life. She also knows nothing has made her consider the possibility, either. Not until this unsettling preoccupation with Mia and that girl. It has taken up far more real estate in her mind than it should. But does that really mean anything? Couldn’t she just be uncomfortable because what she thought she knew about Mia might be wrong, when Mia has so quickly become her closest friend?

Claire takes a deep breath, slows her step, and gives herself a moment before she reaches the rude reality of work. She runs through a list of all the things she knows in her mind.

She knows that there’s some sort of pull between them, a palpable attraction she’s felt since they first met. It’s something that turned them so quickly and easily from being strangers to being so damn very important to one another. Until now, she’d just assumed this instant connection was the beginning of a friendship, one of those intense types she has never had before. And it was—
is
—such a good feeling to know someone like Mia wants to be
that
close to her, to be
that
important to her.

She knows she likes Mia more than she’s ever liked anyone before. From the moment they met she never even thought about how she felt about spending time with her. And that was because she simply wanted to be with her. That part was simple.

She also knows she feels a freedom to talk to her in a way she has never been able to talk to anyone. It’s as if there’s no translation needed between them ever. Mia
gets
her. And she feels as if she
gets
Mia. And that’s exactly why today at the café was so weird. She misses that effortlessness.

So why would this one new piece of knowledge about Mia change that? Could it be jealousy?

Claire wonders if something might have happened without her noticing it was happening. When she thinks of Mia, she knows she wants to be around her and that sometimes that feeling is even a need. She thinks of when Cam was in the hospital and Mia was the only person she just wanted to have around her. It became almost a necessity to survive that awful week when her parents left.