A Street Girl Named Desire: A Novel (21 page)

“Can either of you tell me what the fuck your problem is today?” Whip asked. Desire started to speak, but he put up his hand to stop her.

“We ain't singin today,” Chanel answered.

“And may I ask why not?” Whip demanded. Desire ripped off her headphones and put her hands on her hips, glaring at the other girls.

“ 'Cause we ain't really a part of this group,” Chanel said. “It's all about Desire. So let her ass sing the whole song.”

“This is a group effort, ladies,” Whip said. “Let me decide what's best for the music.”

“What's best for the music, or for Desire?” Chanel asked.

“You wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for me,” Desire spat. “Your ass would be singing in a raggedy-ass church uptown if it wasn't for me, crying to your uncle, married to one of the choirboys and spittin out babies. You just mad you ain't got the spotlight!”

“Despite what you think, Desire, you ain't the only one in this studio who can sing!” Chanel shot back. Tiah remained quiet, feeling too hurt that it had come to this between her and Desire. She took her anger out on Whip. Desire was shocked that Tiah was actually vocalizing the feelings responsible for the ice that now coated their relationship.

“Fuck you, Whip,” Tiah spewed. “You let Desire do whatever she wants, and when we complain, you don't do shit. Since she do whatever the fuck she want, I'm gonna do what I want! So fuck you, thank you.”

Whip for the most part took the insults on the chin, but as time went on, Tiah became more hostile toward him. She started to cuss him out like he had stole something. And then Whip got angry.

“You need to calm your little black ass down and remember who got you to this point,” Whip said. “Don't fuck around and fuck up the biggest chance you're ever gonna get in your life. In one second, I'll send you back to Harlem to live with your grandmother. All I gotta do is say the word.”

“If you fuck around and try putting me out the group, I'll sue your big black ass. I spoke to a lawyer.”

The mention of lawsuits or lawyers made Whip's hair stand up. Almost every artist that ever recorded for him was already suing.

“She said that if you try, motherfucker, you got to pay me to use our group name, since I invented it,” Tiah continued. “And if you even think of doing some grimey shit, I'm gonna do some grimier shit. I know about all the illegal shit you done to artists and I know how you been doing it. I bet a lot of your former rappers would love to see the shit too. And it don't stop there, I know all about your little secrets, and I bet your so-called wife and
her
lawyer would love to know them.”

Tiah had had enough, and she stormed out of the studio, with Chanel on her heels. Desire saw the girls' outburst as just another chance for her to get closer to her own goals.

“Whip,” she said, putting her earphones back on, “let's rehearse that song we wrote the other night.”

Whip called the producing team back in, and they did just that.

The stress and strife in Tiah's life began to take its toll on her emotionally. She became disenchanted not only with Desire and CBR, but with herself as well. Soon, she began to seek solace and relief in pills and alcohol. The first person who had ever given Tiah uppers and downers had been one of the other dancers at the strip club. After Whip took her and Chanel's threats as a challenge, and began to exclude them even more, Tiah spiraled into an anxious depression. She called up the former dancer and put in a request to pick up everything from cocaine to ecstasy from a reliable supplier. As soon as Tiah got her hands on the drugs, she started using them regularly. She also started arriving late or missing concerts and promotional appearances. In a couple of showcases, where industry and media executives were given a private party and performance, she was out of sync with her steps and forgot the songs' lyrics. She was always either drunk or high. It began to get so bad, they had to cancel shows because she could barely remain on her feet. Tiah's erratic and inconsistent behavior forced the promoters to pull the group from venues, just as their first self-titled album was hitting the record stores. Desire was furious.

Two months had passed since the album's release. Although an extraordinary amount of momentum had been put forth to make a name for the girls so the public would be dying to buy their album, sales were slow. The group had quickly gotten a reputation for being unreliable performers, so Desire, Cream, and
Dream missed many crucial concerts. Furthermore, a drug supplier had leaked the news that Tiah of Desire, Cream, and Dream was one of his biggest customers; it created a press scandal that caused many consumers who were concerned about their kids to not buy the album. A big meeting was scheduled between the group and Central Booking Records, at Whip's central office in Midtown Manhattan. Whip decided to cease and desist all their future dates and appearances until further notice.

Desire and Chanel were already sitting with Whip and his henchmen when Tiah, an hour and a half late, staggered in. Before, Tiah's long hair had always been styled meticulously, but that day her hair—now a mini Afro—was a mess. The unusual clothing she wore also raised a few eyebrows, as it sagged off her body. Tiah leaned against the wall and lit a cigarette, glaring at Desire the whole time.

Whip spoke first, while pointing to a chair far away from Desire. “You can sit over there if you want.”

“I don't want to sit down, motherfucker. Just give me my money so I can get the fuck out of here,” snapped Tiah. Whip had had her assets frozen to recoup monies lost as a direct result of her behavior. According to CBR's lawyers, Tiah's unpredictability and unreliability meant she had reneged on her contractual obligation to the company, and the money was no longer hers.

A small white man stood up. “Ms. Tiah, I'm an attorney for Central Booking Records. On behalf of the company, I must inform you that your contract, as of this day, is null and void, and CBR is relinquishing your services for any and all future recordings and performances. As it states in section seven of your contract, if the majority of the group find a member detrimental to
the group as a whole, each member can elect to vote said member from the established entity. You were voted out of Desire, Cream, and Dream on the fifteenth day of June of this year. It's out of the generosity of CBR's heart that we present this check to you. This will be the last money that you'll receive from the company.”

Tiah stood speechless as his words registered in her mind. Chanel ran out the office with tears running down her cheeks. She had not been in favor of this decision. Desire and Whip had threatened to find action against her as well if she didn't vote against Tiah.

Desire had her head lowered. Tiah's eyes fell on her sister.

“Desire …” Tiah said as tears welled in her eyes. “You gonna let them do this to me?”

Desire kept her eyes on the floor.

Tiah yelled, “Look at me, Desire!”

Desire slowly lifted her head and looked Tiah straight in the eye. “Yeah, I voted you out, and it's your own fault! You was the one who started fucking up, not me. I wasn't the one getting fucked up and missing dates.”

Tears flowed freely from Tiah's eyes as she listened to her sister cut into her. “You was the one who made me start doing that shit in the first place, Desire.”

“Started you doing what, Tiah?” Desire snapped. “I wasn't the one forcing you to shoot up and snort up. I know by now you got a glass dick in your mouth!”

Ashamed, Tiah shook her head. “If you knew I had a problem, Desire, why didn't you offer to help me?”

Desire rolled her eyes. “I've been helping you your entire life,
Tiah. I'm tired of covering your ass. That shit was turning into a fucking job and I resigned from it.”

“But we're sisters, Desire. Sisters. And that's what family do for each other,” cried Tiah.

Desire threw her hands in the air as she stood up and said, “Family? I ain't got no fucking family. We're only make-believe sisters, and …”

The words cut through Tiah like a knife. And Desire was fighting back tears.

“Only make-believe sisters?” Tiah asked. “After all the shit you told me and everything we been through, we're only make-believe sisters? Well, fuck you, Desire!”

Tiah surveyed everyone in the room. Her stare settled on Whip. “As for you, motherfucker, I ain't finished with your ass, cause I know you the snake behind all this shit. And since you fucked me, I'm gonna fuck you. I know this guy who takes pictures, and he got some of you that he will sell to the highest bidder.” Tiah held up the check in her hand. “I'm about to cash this bitch and go picture shopping. Or maybe I'll just drop off the ones I already have to your wife.”

Tiah started to storm out the room, and Whip summoned his henchmen to go after her. They grabbed Tiah and brought her over to Whip who snatched the check out of her hand.

“Bitch, I was being nice giving you some money. Now you ain't getting shit!” He ripped the check up before her eyes and threw it in her face. “Show my wife that, bitch!”

Tiah gritted her teeth and kicked him in the groin. Whip bent over in pain. Then, fighting for control, he stood up straight, and
punched her repeatedly in the face, showing no mercy. Overcome, Tiah pleaded for Desire to help her, but Desire sat frozen. Memories of the beating from Dollar flooded her, and she was afraid of having Whip's vengeance turned on her. She stayed in her seat and watched the revolting beating. Desire had forgotten how the two girls had met in the first place, with Tiah rescuing her from receiving a like beating in Brooklyn.

The henchmen took hold of Tiah, and each took turns kicking her. Tiah tried in vain to escape their clutches. Desire put her hands over her ears. She could not stand to hear Tiah's cries. She finally couldn't take it any longer.

“All right, y'all, that's enough!” Desire finally attempted to help, grabbing the henchmen, who refused to stop their assault on her feeble sister. Tiah was still trying to fight them off, calling them every bitch and motherfucker in the book. But she simply could not keep them from overpowering her. Finally, Whip grabbed Desire and led her out of the boardroom. Desire knew there was no use trying to talk him out of whatever he had planned for Tiah. So she left. Whip watched Desire walk down the hall. She was silent, and took small, slow steps, as if she were in a trance. Finally, when she had turned the corner leading to the building's exit, he started back toward the boardroom. Tiah's cries for mercy had stopped, and the henchmen simply held her down until they got further orders from Whip.

Whip walked back into the room, took off his belt, and looked down on a beaten and broken, Tiah. “Now beg, bitch.”

J
unior's Restaurant in Brooklyn was already crowded when Desire arrived that evening. She walked briskly past a hostess with a huge smile.

Desire went toward the back. She lowered her glasses when she came to the table of a disgustingly fat white man digging heartily into a whole roasted chicken.

She had little doubt that it was the man she was meeting, even though he hadn't described how he looked. Over the phone, he'd told her she would know it was him, and to bring fifteen thousand dollars in cash.

As she stood before him, she asked cautiously, “Are you the Camera Man?”

The grotesque man didn't even bother looking up. He
only kicked out the chair front of him. It was his way of gesturing to her to sit down.

Desire was there to purchase some explicit photos of her performing unspeakable sexual acts on three men during her stripping days. Desire had been contacted about a year and a half ago by the infamous Hip-Hop Camera Man, but had paid it no mind at the time. The Camera Man was well known in the industry, and recognized as a square dealer, willing to give the person in question first dibs on purchasing his photos of them.

Desire sat a full five minutes and watched him tear into the bird as if he hadn't eaten in weeks. Finally, he grabbed his napkin and wiped the residue of chicken grease and sauce from his mouth.

“You got the money?” he grunted.