A Tender Touch: A Donnelley Brother's Novel (Logan Point Book 4) (11 page)

My face heated and I struggled to remain calm, but with every passing second, my steady composure was slipping. “Mom...”

“Don’t mom, me, Ember.” She raised a brow at me. “Have you been seeing someone - without telling me?”

“I - no.” I shook my head.

My mom didn’t seem to hear me. She clapped her hands together loudly, and unlike the forty something woman she was, she started jumping up and down with youthful excitement. My mom wasn’t old - at all - but she didn’t typically act like a blushing teen either.

“Oh, Ember, you don’t know how happy I am to hear you’re finally dating.” She rolled her eyes. “I thought there would never be hope of grandbabies.”

“Mom, I’m not dating Luke - wait - grandbabies?” My mother’s mouth closed into a firm line as she regarded me seriously, obviously coming down from her moment of euphoric high. I continued before she could say anything else. “You want grandbabies? Since when?”

“Ember,” she shook her head.

When she didn’t say anything more, I prodded. “Well, since when have you wanted grandbabies?”

“What parent doesn’t want grandbabies?” She huffed. “You’re all grown up now, Ember. I’d say it’s about time you started dating, and I don’t know...” she flailed her hands. “Thinking about marriage and babies.”

I pressed my fingers to my temples, as though that might keep my swelling brain inside my skull. I mean, this was just too much.

“I’m confused.” I admitted breathlessly. “I don’t - I don’t think I’m hearing you right.”

She sighed. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, honey, you know that. Your life is for you to live, but since you’ve been gone, I’ve been praying you would maybe have a chance to live your life for you - rather than always trying to live it for me.”

“I don’t...”

“You’ve spent the last four years in University and never once did you go out on a date. I know for a fact that you’ve been asked, sweetie. You’re a beautiful, intelligent, thoughtful woman and any man would be considered lucky to have you - so I know you’ve been asked out.” She sighed. “So if you’re not denying the men because of me, then why?”

“Mom, I can’t talk about this.” I pleaded with her, with both my eyes and words. If she made me tell her the reason I’d never took a chance and dated, it would break her. My mother was a kind-hearted woman who buried herself in the animals she rescued. She loved with her entire heart and when she gave her love, she never reclaimed it. My mother was all these wonderful, amazing things, but she was also weak.

Actually, my mother was the weakest person I had ever known - and I knew deep in the marrow of my bones - that if I were honest in this moment - I would break everything that was left of my mother. I knew if I told her I was afraid of becoming her, that I was terrified of loving so completely and losing so unfairly, that I would become the weak woman she was.

I didn’t want to be my mother.

If she knew this, the little that my father had left of her in the wake of his abandonment would set to flame.

“Please.” I whispered again. “Not now.” I shook my head. “I need time to process.”

For a moment, sadness shone through her blue eyes that were so similar to mine, and then she nodded. “Okay, we’ll talk about it later.” She gave a small, uplifting sigh. “It’s time we start getting ready for this dinner anyway.”

I nodded. “Yeah, the dinner.”

Chapter 10

I pulled up next to Kyle’s truck in Luke’s driveway and frowned. Glancing across the center of my car toward my mom, I announced. “I think Kami is here.”

My mother’s blue eyes glimmered with excitement. “Oh, I’ve missed that girl.” She lowered her voice. “I haven’t seen her since she ran away.”

“She didn’t run away, mom, she moved on to better things.”

“Without notifying me.” She narrowed her eyes. “That girl worked for me for years, and she didn’t even tell me she was leaving.”

“She didn’t know she was leaving until she was leaving.” I pinned her with don’t argue eyes. “We’ve been over this.”

“I know.” She rolled her eyes. “I just wish she would have told me what was going on.”

“The best thing happened to her, mom.” I smiled gently, knowing that Kami had always held a soft place in my mother’s heart. For years, Kami had been my only real friend. For the longest time, I hadn’t had any friends, and then along came Kami. I’d never been a fan of Rhett, but I also never neglected to support her relationship with him - until he became a danger to her.

“This is the best thing that’s happened to you too.” My mom broke me of my thoughts and I startled.

“What?”

“This Ranch.” She peered outside the windows at the sprawling landscape and I watched a small, delicate smile touched her lips. “It’s the best thing that’s happened to you, Ember.”

“How do you mean?” I held my breath as I waited for her reply. There was a very large part of me that didn’t want to know what she meant, but I’d always been a curious creature - it was my downfall.

“You’re different now than you were when you left.” She smiled again, but this time, it was directed at me. “You’re stronger somehow. You’ve always been so strong, but now you seem less hard, and just strong. Like you know what you want.”

“That’s funny.” I snorted.

“How so?” She frowned and the skin between her eyes crinkled.

“I used to think I knew what I wanted - until I came here.” I shook my head and tightened my hand on the steering wheel. We weren’t driving, but it was something to grip - something to hold onto - to stabilize me. “Now I don’t know anything.”

“You know you don’t want to do another four years of schooling.”

“What?” I shook my head. “What makes you say that?”

“You never would have come here if you did. I know you, and I know that if you wanted to do the schooling, you’d already be enrolled.” She reached over to squeeze my hand. “You’re a smart girl, Ember, so do something I’ve never done and listen to your heart.” She sounded like she was going to cry. Her words wavered as she whispered. “I’ve heard that it won’t lead you astray.”

“Mom?”

She shook her head. “Don’t argue with me. Just this one time, Ember, listen to me. Please.”

“I’m listening.”

“Luke Donnelley is a nice man, baby.”

“Mom...” I protested - because I didn’t know how to hear what I believed I knew she was going to say.

“Ah,” she raised her hand. “You said you’d listen.”

Closing my eyes, I rested my head against the seat. “Okay. I’m listening.”

“He’s a nice man. I know you know he’s a good man - nothing like your father.” The air surrounding me felt suddenly thick - too think for my lungs to filter. She continued, entirely oblivious to my struggle to do something so simple as breathe. “He’s in love with you.”

My eyes flew open and I gasped. “What?”

“You can’t tell me you haven’t noticed. I spent less than a half an hour with the man and I know he’s in love with you.” She rolled her eyes. “You’re not oblivious, Ember. You’re the most perceptive person I know.”

“I...”

“No, Ember. Don’t protest.” She shook her head firmly and her voice rang loud in the small space of my car. “You’ve found something special that most people search for forever. Don’t punish yourself for the person your father was.”

“I don’t...” I pulled in a deep breath, focusing on the trees surrounding Luke’s large house. “What if I can’t trust him, mom?”

She smiled gently and for the first time in years, my mother became my
mother
. She became my caregiver and supporter. She became my counsel and my standing ovation. She became my
mom
.

“You have stellar instincts, my girl. You’ve never strayed from them before, so don’t start now.” She spoke softly - almost melodically. “It’s not about trusting another, it’s about trusting in yourself enough.”

I blinked, and when I did, a single tear fell. “You sound so wise.”

She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth to steady it’s trembling. “You’ve taught me so much, Ember.”

“Mom...” My voice broke.

“I know I wasn’t strong for you when I should have been. And I know your distrust in men is because of me.”

She was right...

I argued. “No.” I shook my head vehemently. “It’s because of him.”

She closed her eyes as though to find her center, before continuing. “It’s because of my reaction to his leaving. I’m not strong like you, my girl. I’ve never been strong like you. Don’t make my mistakes - love a man who deserves your love.”

“I don’t know if I can.” I whispered.

“Maybe you can’t right now - but promise me you’ll stop fighting it tooth and nail. Stop fighting it, Ember, and soon you will know you can love and be loved.” She gripped my hand tightly. “Promise me.”

Through my tears, I nodded. “I promise.”

A laugh sounded from deep in my mother’s chest. It was an odd sound, broken and beautiful all at once. It was the song of blissful joy, relief, and agony.

“Let’s get cleaned up.” She nodded. “We have lasagna to look forward to.”

I nodded. “That sounds really good right now.”

***

I knocked awkwardly on Luke’s door with my mom standing, or rocking on her heels, excitedly at my side. When the door swung open and Luke appeared, looking delectable in a dark pair of jeans and a crisp white t-shirt, my breath caught.

“Ember.” His eyes were pinned on my face, filled with questions his mouth didn’t ask. Then they flickered to my mother, who smiled brightly.

“Is Kamilla here, Luke?”

Luke nodded. “She’s in the kitchen.”

“Great, I’ll just go find her.” My mother patted my arm before stepping around Luke, into his house.

Luke glanced back, before grabbing my arm, and pushing me onto the deck. He closed the door behind him and demanded. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I assured without much commitment.

“Ember, please,”

I cut him off. “I just had a heart to heart with my mom.” I shrugged, feeling my eyes well once again. “It was a little emotional, is all.”

Luke didn’t say anything. Instead, he pulled me into his arms, pressing my front against his chest with a firmness I couldn’t have fought even if I had wanted to. As soon as my body connected with his, all the fight inside of me drained and I sagged against him. My heart felt so heavy, and my promise continued to ring in my mind.

Slowly, I circled my arms around his waist. For a moment, he stiffened against me, and then I felt his arms tighten as he dropped his head to mine. He kissed the top of my head once again and my breathing shortened as his hands rubbed tiny circles into the small of my back.

After standing like this with him, in silence, for minutes, I pulled away. Wiping at a stray tear, I forced a smile. “Sorry about that.”

Luke caught my chin in his hand, tipping my face up to his. “Don’t ever be sorry for feeling, pretty girl.”

My breath caught as he lowered his head. My heart pounded in my chest as I fought my sudden need to run, but as he pressed his lips to my forehead, kissing me softly and slowly, I breathed a sigh of relief.

This man was so gentle and patient with me - I knew that any other would have given up on me long ago, but not Luke. Luke was determined and although I hadn’t the faintest idea why, I was also very thankful for his never-ending persistence.

“Thank you, Luke.”

“For what?” He cocked his head.

“For still being here.”

He frowned. “Where would I go?”

I shook my head. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

He grinned, but I could see sadness behind the usually happy gesture and my heart clenched in my chest. “Do you want me to give up on you, Ember?”

“I,”

“Be honest with me.” He commanded in a low tone.

I allowed the silence to pulse between us for another moment as I pondered his question and my promise to my mother - to myself. Finally, I shook my head. “No. I don’t want you to give up.”

He smiled, wiping another renegade tear from my cheek. “Then I’m not going anywhere.” He vowed. “I promised to chase you, pretty girl, until you couldn’t run any longer. I always keep my promises.”

Closing my eyes for a moment, I pulled in a deep breath. “You’re better than anything I ever imagined I’d find. But I still can’t promise you more.”

He nodded. “You don’t have to promise anything to me, Ember. Even if all I ever am to you is your friend, I’ll always be here, running beside you.”

“Why?” I whispered though the emotion building up in my throat - threatening to choke me.

He smirked. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s dangerous to run without a partner?”

I laughed at the absurdity of his reply and air burst into my starved lungs. “No.” I shook my head. “No one has ever told me that.”

“It is.” He nodded firmly. “So, I’ll be your partner for as long as you’ll let me.”

“Okay.” I smiled up at him, seeing him for the first time as someone I could possibly trust in - one day. “I’d like that.”

He placed his hand against the small of my back to guide me to the door of the house. “How about we eat some of the lasagna I slaved over all day for you.”

I beamed. “How about we do that.”

***

Dinner was lovely. It was obvious that Kami had missed my mother just as much as my mother had missed Kami. And even better, Kyle got my mother’s stamp of approval - which really wasn’t hard - because my mom was a lover of people in general.

I leaned back in my chair. “I am so full. Thank you, Luke, that was delicious.”

Kyle snorted. “You think Luke made that?”

I nodded. “He did.”

“No.” Kyle laughed as he shook his head. “He begged mom to make it for you. The only thing he did was turn on the oven and place the dish inside.”

Kami swatted Kyle in the arm. “You’re ruining his wooing!”

Kyle stiffened and his eyes moved back and forth between Luke and I. I felt my face heat as understanding settled into Kyle’s eyes. He shifted in his seat. “Uh, sorry man.”

“Whatever.” Luke shook his head before grinning sheepishly at me. “So, I suck at cooking.”

My mom cooed. “It’s the thought that counts, Luke. You’re just lucky that Ember loves to cook and she’s fabulous at it.”