A Tender Touch: A Donnelley Brother's Novel (Logan Point Book 4) (2 page)

“Ember!” Kami screeched excitedly, obviously unable to contain her bubbling excitement at our overdue reunion. We’d talked on the phone, but that wasn’t nearly as good as seeing each other in person. And so much had changed in our lives since we’d last spoken in person. We had so much ground to cover. “You made it!”

Kami didn’t wait for me to reply as she slammed her body against mine. A breath of air wheezed from my lungs forcedly at the blunt contact. “I made it.”

“It only took you a billion months!” Kami accused, still holding me tight.

“You’re being dramatic.” I stated on a laugh. “It took me a million.”

Kami sighed as she pulled away to appraise my appearance. “I missed your attitude.” Her eyes misted and she smiled tightly. “You look good. Your hair’s longer.”

I nodded. “You look good too, Kami.” I felt a slow grin form over my lips. “How’s married life treating you?” I waggled my brows. “You know I’m going to want the details. All the details.” I shot her a warning glower. “I’ll know if you’re holding out on me.”

I watched as she tipped her head back in a throaty sigh. “Oh, Em, it’s so good.”

“It certainly sounds good.” I said dryly. “Don’t think I didn’t notice that you’re holding out on the details.
Details
, Kami, gotta give me something good to forgive the year we haven’t seen each other.”

She chuckled on the shake of her head. “That something good would be your schooling, sweetie.”

“Oh no!” I shook a finger at her. “No way, Kamilla Re - ur, Donnelley.”

“You’re going to have to get used to my last name soon or Kyle’s not going to be your biggest fan.”

“Pardon yourself!” I raised a brow. “Your husband will adore me! I’m your best friend - he really has no choice.”

Kami pulled me into her arms once again. “Thank you, Em. Thank you so much for pushing me in this direction.”

I smiled through the sudden build-up of emotion pulsating in my throat and behind my eyes. “I’m so happy you’re happy.”

“I am.” She whispered against my hair. “I’ve never known a happiness like this. Not a day in my life has been as perfect as the days I’ve spent here with Kyle and the rest of the family.” She leaned back once again. “Seriously, there’s one Donnelley brother left, Ember. If you snag him, we’ll be sisters - not just best friends!”

I felt my eyes bug. “You’re seriously not suggesting that I try and seduce Luke, are you?”

“How do you know it’s Luke?” She waggled her brows suggestively and I scoffed. “You have a thing for him, don’t you?”

I tried to push through the truth of her words, as I denied ever fancying Luke Donnelley - despite the fact that I’d had a crush on Luke ever since I could remember. Sadly, he’d never noticed me. In the nine visits I’d had at the Ranch, Luke Donnelley had never paid me much attention. It had always irritated me, because the man had been the star of my dreams - every night - for nearly ten years. Yes, I was fully aware how pathetic I was.

Oh damn, I’m embarrassingly pathetic.

“I know Luke is the only unclaimed brother, because I do listen to all your rambling when we talk on the phone. I swear, I know more about Reese and Logan, Hadley and Collin and you and Kyle, than you all know about yourselves.” I pinned her with matter of fact eyes. “That’s how I know Luke is the only unattached brother.”

She grinned mischievously and I stared at her in question. I couldn’t help but wonder, where the hell did the serious friend I’d always known go? Kami was looking at me like I was a project. Yes, my best friend was looking at me as though I were the variable for world domination.

I didn’t like that.

As a matter of fact, it made me feel a whole lot of uncomfortable.

Taking a cautious step back, I demanded. “What are you looking at me like that for?”

“No reason.” She replied sweetly.

Sweetly!
My best friend - my most serious best friend - was speaking in a sugary sweet sounding voice. Damn right, I was suspicious of her intentions.

“Whatever you’re plotting, Kamilla Donnelley, you stop right now!” I shook my finger at her. “I don’t want to be embarrassed. I need a vacation - you know I need a vacation. Don’t you dare go about playing Cupid!”

Kami snorted and I felt my eyes grow even wider - if that was possible. “Believe me, I know Cupid - it ain’t me.”

I frowned. “Are you drunk?”

“No.” She beamed at me. “But I could be?”

“I’m sure.”

She grabbed my hand, dragging me to the check-in shop. “What do you say we grab a few bottles of wine and meet up with the girls? You’re going to love them!”

Chapter 2

“Don’t you think I should check in first?” I asked as Kami dragged me to a jeep. “I’d really like to get my stuff into a cabin.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay with Kyle and I in the house?”

“I’m sure.”

“Really?” She sighed. “We could spend so much time together. We’ve missed so much in the last year!”

I shook my head determinedly. “Not a chance, Kami.”

“Oh, alright.” She huffed, dropping my hand dramatically. “I’ve already checked you into a cabin.” I opened my mouth to inquire that it was close to the barn, but Kami interrupted me quickly. “Don’t worry, it’s as close to the horses as I could get you - and that’s pretty damn close.”

I sighed in relief. “Thank you, Kami. I really can’t wait to get on a horse. I can’t wait to ride. I just want to ride.”

She nodded. “You can follow me in your car and we’ll get you settled into your cabin. Tomorrow, I’ll introduce you to Reese and Hadley.”

“That sounds like a plan.” I said in relief as I started walking backward to my car.

I waited until Kami had turned back to her Jeep - the one Kyle had given to her to drive after she’d ruined her car by hitting the ditch in a snowstorm. It was that story of how they’d met and how dreamily he’d taken care of her that made me fall in love with the idea of Kyle and Kami.

Kami had been hurt. She’d been hurt deeply, but she’d never been broken - not like me. Kami was so much stronger than I was even with all the horrors she’d endured. I envied her ability to stand tall and strong in spite of all the hurt and chaos she’d experienced.

Somehow, even though Kami had been hurt from the very beginning - her cards simply a shitty hand - she’d maintained the ability to hope for more. She had the ability to dream and to wish and to even accept when those dreams and wishes were granted. She’d accepted Rhett, a man, despite the fact that it had been a man who’d taken her mother from her when she was only a child. When Rhett hurt her beyond forgiveness, she not only forgave him, but she found the strength to accept Kyle, another man, into her life. She took him into her heart and surrendered herself to him in spite of all the pain she’d suffered at the hands of a man.

The strength residing within my friend made my mind spin. I’d only ever been hurt by one man - but I’d never allowed myself to open up to any other since. The man who was supposed to love me regardless of anything and everything, had walked out on not only myself, but my mother. Since that night, I’d never allowed myself to openly trust another man. In my opinion, they were all the same selfish beings. I mean, if my own father could walk away from me - why would anyone else stay?

Shaking the depressing thought from my mind, I pulled open the door of my car and lowered myself into the drivers seat.

As I followed Kami in the Jeep over the winding roads of the Ranch, my heart pounded in my chest. I was nervous and excited all in one. I’d never gone anywhere without my mom. Since my father had abandoned us, I’d always sensed that an unspoken vow stood between my mother and I, that neither of us would ever abandon the other, no matter the difficulties we faced. Even though she’d encouraged me relentlessly to take this trip, even went so far as telling me she’d kick me out of the house if I didn’t, I still felt that I was abandoning her.

As much as I longed to live my life differently than I had been living it for the last twenty-two years, I simply could not fathom leaving my mother. I couldn’t be another soul who abandoned her. If I ever did such a thing - if I ever abandoned my mother - I would never forgive myself. Never.

Even now, knowing I was staying at the Ranch for an extended vacation - from March to September - while I figured out what I wanted to do with the immediate future of my life, whether that was taking the next four years of education to become an equestrian veterinarian, or working as an assistant, I didn’t know.

I. Just. Didn’t. Know.

I had no answers. I was sitting on the fence and I wasn’t leaning to either side. Damn, there wasn’t even a breeze to push me forcedly in one direction. I was just sitting there on that stupid proverbial fence, trying to figure out what I was going to do next, and which way I was planning to jump. Well, I had no freaking clue.

I was surprised to find the break lights of the Jeep ahead of me blinking bright red in the dusky hue of the nearly set sun. I’d zoned out. I’d zoned out while driving as I thought of my very unclear future, my mother, and my nearly obsessive distrust in everything that was the male species.

Shaking my head clear of the thoughts clouding my mind, I pulled my little white car next to Kami’s borrowed Jeep. She was grinning widely at me from the driver’s seat of the Jeep, making enthusiastic hand gestures at the cabin before us as though to say ‘ta da’ like a circus clown drawing back the curtains.

I couldn’t help but grin back at her. God, I had missed my best friend. There was no one on this earth who knew me like Kami. Not even my own mother knew me like Kami knew me.

I didn’t necessarily hide anything from my mother, but I didn’t allow her to see the ruined girl my father had left behind. Unlike my mother, I
could
allow Kami to see me - every part of me - even the broken parts that I was so ashamed of. She was the only one I would ever allow to view that side of me. She was the only one I had ever shared my pain, insecurities and hopes with. And she always supported me with the unfailing loyalty that any true friend should.

Kami was beautiful. She was my best friend, and I know I’ve said this a billion times before - but I missed her so terribly much this last year. And I knew, that even though I will miss my mother and wished she could be here with me - I am in the right place.

Taking a deep breath for courage, I pushed open the door of my car to lower my feet into the snow. The air wasn’t the biting cold of winter, but instead, it was warming despite the lot of white layering the ground. It was obvious spring was in the air.

All around my cabin, there were trees. I’d been here before, and this cabin wasn’t any different than the others I had stayed in when I’d visited, but I’d never stayed in a cabin so secluded. Spinning around, I glanced back at the road I’d traveled to get myself here. It was lined in tall trees that stretched to reach for the darkening sky.

The snow crunched behind me and suddenly, Kami was standing beside me. “I know it’s a bit more isolated than the other cabins you’ve stayed in, but you’re here for so long I thought you’d prefer this.”

“I do.” I nodded. “Thanks Kami.”

“No problem.” She rocked on her heels. “Well, what do you say we get you settled?”

“I say yes.” I smiled, turning away from the road travelled.

***

By the time we brought my suitcases into the house, trudged them to the bedroom and unpacked, the sky had turned a deep, crisp, glittering ebony. Stars shimmered, their light peeking in through the windows of the cabin to grace our skin as we walked through the dark hall into the living area. Kami leaned down to flick on a lamp that was sitting on the glossy surface of the table beside the couch, and amber filled the dark space, igniting the cabin and all it’s shades of brown in the warmth of the soft light. I felt instantly comforted by the familiarity of the cabin.

“So, what do you think?”

“I think this is right where I am supposed to be in this moment.”

“You’ve been feeling a little off, huh?” Kami asked, and I knew she was asking so much more than just her question.

For so long, Kami and I had been there for each other when we’d had no one else. Yes, we’d spoken on the phone throughout our year of separation, but talking on the phone just wasn’t the same as seeing the person. Especially when that person knew what to say just by a glance. Kami was that to me. She was the person who knew what I was feeling just by a glance, and like I never backed down from her pain, she never backed down from mine. The only thing now was that I could see my friend no longer needed me in the same way. My friend was no longer in pain.

I was happy for Kami. Don’t get me wrong, I was so impossibly happy for my best friend, but I was also a little frightened of being a weight tied to her ankle and I didn’t want to drag her down with all my never ending problems and insecurities.

Although I could see Kami was offering me to unload all my problems onto her shoulders, I just couldn’t. She was finally happy. She had finally, in spite of the world’s constant interference, found happiness with a good man. I didn’t want to be the voice of question when I knew in the deepest recesses of my heart that what she had with Kyle Donnelley was beautiful, and right, and so very rare.

So, for the first time in the entirety of my relationship with Kamilla, I pressed my lips together, forced a smile and shook my head. “I’ve been doing alright.”

Her eyes narrowed on my face and I knew she could see through my lie. Then she spoke. “Alright,” she sighed. “I’d love to introduce you to the girls tomorrow and since you’re too tired for wine tonight, I’ll text them to meet us for breakfast in the morning. Does that work for you?”

This is the thing; Kamilla has never once, not in the entirety of our friendship, allowed me to lie to her so blatantly.

She knew I wasn’t alright. But she knew my problems were the same as they always were. I was damaged. I’d been damaged since the night my father spoke aloud that he’d always wanted me aborted. Even twelve years later, twelve years of watching me grow, hearing me laugh and seeing me walk, he’d continued to believe that I was nothing more than an interruption to his life.